Let a Man Chase You. Here’s How…
Image from the fabulous Saying Images web site http://sayingimages.com/dont-be-a-woman-that-needs-a-man/
As women we have been taught to “go after what we want.” That’s perfect for business, but in our love lives, it’s a bit backward. Men have always been the hunters. They love difficult things. Like football, extreme sports and climbing the corporate ladder. (yes…that one is fun for us, too!) Men LOVE to produce then brag about it. Like in business, hunting or fishing. You ever notice how they talk about these accomplishments? It’s always the struggle (in dramatic detail) about the giant fish he caught. (even if it’s a Minnow) Or the meanest, toughest smartest animal he ever “brought down.” Then they display the animal on the wall so he can talk about it whenever someone comes in the room. Men are all about accomplishment and production, ladies! If he says this to you, he wants you to see what a great producer he is. (for life, maybe?) And he wants you to be proud of him. Awww…. So how do we “go after what we want if it’s him?” We let him chase us.
He wants the thrill of the hunt and chase with you, too. The part that drives a lot of us women absolutely nuts: Will he call? Why does he need space etc. Is a thrill for him. Did you know that when guys are sitting around with their buddies saying things like this: “I can’t do that my wife would kill me.” He is bragging about you to them? He and his buddies all want the woman they can never quite figure out or control. Strong men want a strong woman who won’t take any of their BS and will call them on it. He knows he’ll never have you mounted on his wall and likes it that way. 
So…how do we let him chase us?
1. You love yourself with abandon. No excuses. If he can’t love you the way you are don’t bother with him. If he says he likes blondes and you’re a brunette? Look at your watch and say nicely, “Thanks for the drink. I have an early morning and it’s time to go home.” Notice his actions. Action is key with him…the producer. Men do a lot of things on purpose to get an emotional reaction from us. ( yes…an upcoming blog on that one! ) When he doesn’t get an emotional reaction from you, you just put the kibosh on that little game of his. Remember one of my favorite “bitches” Dolly Parton? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_Parton She’s “This is who I am, take it or leave it.” Period. I’ve quoted this before in my blogs and here it is again. When asked the key to her successful marriage she said ”When my husband gets a little complacent, I pack a bag and stay gone!” Love it!
2. We won’t compete with other women over a man. If he’s trying to make you jealous with other women he is not respecting you. And we are going to blame her? Blame the source. If he tells you about women that are “coming on to him” or an “ex-girlfriend” he is getting together with? He is doing it to get a reaction from you and it’s disrespectful. Tell him something along the lines of this: “I really want you to be happy. Let me know what you decide.” Then no contact. Let him “explore all those possibilities” if there are any. One of two things will happen. If he’s a jerk, and leaves you-you win because who needs that? If he’s just trying to get the reaction, get ready for flowers. You gave him the kick in the butt he needed.
3. You let him “chase you” by letting him call, letting him make the plans. (and yes…you let him know what you would like to do, too!) You continue to lead your amazing life, career, pursing and researching your dreams, hobbies and desires because your life is awesome and fun without him. Even when you’re an established couple. Your life is important to you. It’s something you’ve been working at, excelling at and enjoy. It’s what makes you wonderful you! Don’t give it up. (After you’re an established couple, yes you can start calling him)
4. You don’t tell him every detail of your life, so he wonders what you’re up to. If you’re exhausted and all you can think of doing is relaxing in a bath tub? Do it. If he calls, he can leave a message. You don’t have to tell him what you are doing every minute of every day. And don’t expect him to account for his every minute. Maintain a little mystery by keeping focused on you and your needs. Keep moving to the rhythm that makes you feel good.
5. While you’re getting to know each other, try to keep your dates shorter and don’t spend long hours talking about feelings with him. (call a girlfriend) Don’t ask him “Where he thinks things are headed.” Never bring up marriage, kids, etc. Let him bring it up. When he DOES bring them up, give a vague but clear answer. “Marriage? I haven’t really thought too much about it. If I do get married it will have to be someone wonderful.” Perfect. First he’ll probably be shocked that HE was the one bringing up marriage. Second, if he has brought it up, he’s been thinking about it and wants to see your reaction. When you aren’t really “thinking” about it and want someone “wonderful” you just told the hunter what he has to do catch his “intended prey.” Let the producer produce!
And there are so many more things you can do to let him chase you. We will discuss, I promise! This is key: Remember that you are a “wonderful catch.” Any man would be lucky to get you! Make him prove that he is your hero. Men love being heroes. Let him prove worthy of fabulous you! And when he does? Appreciate the hell out of him! Love, Goddess
Tomorrow: What we can learn from Men’s Magazines…
© S Stevens Life Strategies
I LOVE DOLLY!
I think keeping the mystery in a relationship is essential. A woman that keeps a man is the one who is able to keep him on his toes.
I’ve already been caught, but I let him keep catching me again and again haha..
You are right though, men love to get that emotional reaction from us. I try not to give it
have a great day!
Yes! I’m so glad you see that. And don’t you just want to hug Dolly? Love, Goddess
Go you for not giving into that emotional reaction. That’s why I started kick-boxing. LOL! Love, Goddess
This is all so true..!!! I wish I had read this a good 10 years ago, so I wouldn’t have to learn it the hard way… Thank you!
You are such a hot, sexy and intelligent Goddess. Whoever has your heart is one lucky man! Love, Goddess
This is a great little blog I can not believe that I didn’t wander onto it already.
Thanks so much, Sharron! Love, Goddess
PS: I’m actually a Sharon—with one less “n.”
What if the guy were to give up on chasing you cuz it was too difficult to try and get you? Like turning him down on hanging out or talking might hurt his feelings and his pride and he may not wanna go through that again. Or should I just say “I’m busy that day, I’ll ttyl” ?
Good Morning Kim,
You’re overthinking this. Overthinking and expectations take the fun out of the love game.
Have you seen Lady Gaga’s video “Poker Face?” Lady knows her power and is enjoying the love game.
Your timing is perfect. I’m writing something today that I’ll be posting later that may help you.
The title is “No expectations, please.”
Love, Goddess
Wow, did I lose my way! I was chased by a guy for a few months who I knew I was falling for, and he didn’t waste a moment telling me how he felt since day one. I told him I needed time and space to think this through and finally realized I really fell for him! I htought he would be elated! I spent time with him this past weekend and now it seems the more I liked him and finally let him know, he now went the other direction and now “he needs space” to think about it! Oh, he’s going to get all the “space” he needs, I am crushed. Is it game over for us or how can I begin the game again to keep him on his toes? I am not into games at all and it is so hard for me to hold back once i fall………..now what?????? I thought he would be happy to know how I felt….A few details, we don’t live in the same city so we can’t always see each other….
First things first. Congratulations on realizing you lost your way!
Don’t overthink. Watch a man’s actions. The man worthy of your heart does what he says he’s going to.
Have you seen Shania Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much” video? The only man she’s going to
be impressed with is the guy that’s there for her. Notice she doesn’t get angry with these men. She playfully
rejects them. She makes it his choice. You want access to Shania? You gotta play by her rules. This is where
it gets fun, honey. What are Trishs’ rules?
If you have more qs, email me Goddesspower978@hotmail.com
I’m attracted to a guy I met thru work; he works for another company. We’ve met 3 times, once at his office doing paperwork stuff about 20 minutes (but he looked at my ring finger); once for abt an hour and a half at my work doing an interview that should have taken abt 30 minutes but took an hour and a half because we had so much fun laughing and talking (during which he complemented me, said I was pretty, and I noticed him looking at my bosom when he thought I wasn’t looking); and once for 3 hours to tour his company as a VIP (after he invited me on 3 different occasions). This one was a bit awkward because there was an official tour guide that put a damper on our interaction. He seemed awkward and there was some trouble with smooth conversation like before, but if I spoke he became alert and encouraging, however, most of the time he jumped from topic to topic or talked with the tour guide abt business. But…he kissed me hello and good bye (not done in our industry), and stood VERY close to me, pressing his arm from should to elbow next to mine. He will always hold my gaze until I drop eye contact, and he raises his eyebrows a bit when he looks at me.
We’ve also had a couple phone calls that should have take 5 minutes and stretched to 20-30, and he responds to my emails asap, and they drift off mildly into kidding around (this is work email so it’s short).
But in the two months I’ve know him, he’s never asked me out. But, he’s been busy. He’s been out of town about 75% of the time and then there was Thanksgiving. He has mentioned 3 times now going out for a drink, but there’s really been only one, possibly two weekends he was available. He’s kept me apprised of his whereabouts in great detail, in town, out of town, what he’s doing, when he’ll be back. Once he mentioned he’d told his brother something abt me.
It’s been two months and while I’m still interested, I sort of have given up. It’s like the momentum is gone. If he’s interested, he will make an effort, right? Or has he been making an effort?
Last time he came back from his trip, he called me two days later on a pretext business question. Something that would NOT be in any way important. Turns out I do need to take some paperwork over to his office, but he didn’t know that when he called. I’ll see him a couple days after Xmas, he said we’d discuss going out for a drink then. Why not discuss it during that phone call? I think he’s attracted but not sure if he wants to pursue (after all he hasn’t seen me in a while either), which is fair, but… I’m getting such mixed signals.
He’s also in a heavily male dominated field and always has been (the military–first in male only units located in desolate places, now as a contractor), and I think does not have smooth social skills as far as women go. Also almost two years ago he divorced his second wife (first was an addict, second lost interest and left, but he still talks to her sometimes, and when I first met him, he referred to her as his wife, now he refers to her only as his ex. He told me in passing once, they went to marital counseling and he found out all the things he was doing wrong).
What’s your take on this?
My take on this: you’re over thinking this “guy,” Amber. Time to focus on you, honey. Make a list of things you want to do, friends and family you want to see and do it. And enjoy every ounce of it! Love, Goddess
Amber, my take on this is: this guy is a player. Run away from him!
Ana
This was by far the best blog yet! I couldn’t get enough of this one! Ditto, ditto, ditto is all I can say and I feel so empowered reading this. Thank you! This blog kicks our asses so let’s ROCK ON!!!!
i am dating this guy he seemd very into me we have seen each other about 6 times. sometimes he call somethimes me and sometime when i call him he contact asap or makes me wait ahwile. he went away this past week and returned on sunday night and did not call me when he returned or on valentine day! what to do i refuse to call him or text him but i do like him!
Honey,
You are way over-thinking this. You’re giving him all the power. Visit the Drama Queen, Bitch University and Amazing Women sections on this site. Take care of yourself,
keep your options open and let the men come to you.
Love, Goddess
Hi,
Basically I met this guy 6 months ago, I wasn’t too sure about how I felt and i was worried he was too keen! So i played it cool and he was always asking too see me, none stop texting me, met the parents and things were great! We really hit it off then I fell for him & I let him know after about 4 months of us being together! I was questioning where things were going and he said he didn’t know if we wanted a relationship.. however we were basically in one!
I got confused & didn’t give him his space and I think I came on too strong and it caused arguments. I’ve backed off and let it go but he doesn’t seem to make the effort anymore.. hardly ever texts me first, doesn’t see me as much now (he has got alot of work commitments) but when we are together things are great! I sometimes think he feels he has ‘got’ me now so doesn’t need to make the effort!
I want him too be as interested as he used too be..
Do you think I should not text him and let him come too me? or should I end it!
Feeling a bit stuck!!
Hi Kee,
Let him come to you. Notice something in your comment. It’s a lot about him-a lot of worry. I’ve been here too. I think
every woman has. We really like a guy then he withdraws. Without knowing the whole story, he may be scared of his feelings for you. So take care
of yourself, set up fun dates with your friends and when he does get in touch with you, be happy to hear from him. Get busy living, no waiting. And kick box the frustration away! Let me know how it goes. Love, Goddess
Hi Love Goddess,
I met this guy through work last year and he hugged me goodbye and said really glad to meet you, you really are gorgeous and we been staying in touch by email. He came visit me once and he asked for a kiss at the end of the night. I asked why? He said he’s been attracted to me since he saw me, but deep down he is very shy. I gave him a quick kiss and I ran to my train, he stayed there watching me until I’m out of his sight.
I went to his city to visit him 2 weeks ago, he picked me up from the airport at night saying really glad to see me again. We went for drinks and ended the night with real good night kiss and I went back to my hotel. The next day he was playing tour guide and he’s been paying for everything, he’s held my hand by interlocking all day like we are a couple even when he is driving. We didn’t make any promises to each other or confess our feelings completely as we are both a bit reserve when it comes to the matter of love, we just enjoying each other’s company and getting to know each other. When he was cuddling me he told me he wishes his job is more like a routine so he can plan his days better. We both don’t see having a partner as a goal; we see it as only have a partner if that person is right. We are very alike in lots of aspect. We ended up having sex that night in my hotel, he was really passionate and been kissing me the entire time for 1 hr. He said so you going back tomorrow? That sucks. I let him know that I don’t usually let people come to my place/hotel, but I really trust him. He hugged me really right kissed me and said thanks. We fell asleep and the day after he had to go help his family. I thought he is not going to take me to airport I was secretly disappointing. But he said I will come pick you up before you leave ok? Then he kissed me on the lips and left. He came back and took me to the airport, I said to him if felt really good to have you sleeping with me, I felt safe. He squeeze my hand smiled at me and said that was very nice. When we arrive, he hugged me and said thanks for coming, it’s very nice to see you again. I replied, thanks for the weekend, he said my pleasure so I will see you on facebook then? He didn’t talk about next visit or anything. I said yea. Then I kept walking and waving at him, he didn’t start driving until I was out of his sight. Then he txt me saying have a good flight. When I arrive home he txt me again asking if I got home safe. I replied to let him know I got home safe. He txt back saying it’s very nice to see me again. Then I send him an email telling him what a good trip planner he was and I enjoyed it a lot and hope to see him again soon. He wrote back the next day saying he likes our photos of the trip and said happy valentines day to me even he doesn’t believe in that. I wrote him another email but no reply. So I sent him a txt msg last Friday, he replied and let me know he is still very busy and only have 2 to 3 hrs sleep everyday. I ended the txt that night by saying good night. Haven’t heard from him since then.
From his caring action, I think he surely has interest in me. However, due to his work commitment and the fact that we live in different city. I’m hesitating in letting him know that I actually miss him badly because I’m afraid he will see it as pressuring him into a relationship. I understand timing is not right, he doesn’t have time to sleep let alone having a girlfriend. If I force it we will just ended up separating.
I’m just wondering what is the right approach to this? Should I contact him again? Even in the pass it can take him up to 2 weeks to reply an email and I’ve been doing the same. How can I let him know that I miss him, really have feelings and interest for him without letting him feel pressured or loosing the thrill of being the hunter? I know he is reserve, and if we both keep feelings to ourselves we might not progress ever.. even when his works get settles..
Hi Sassy,
Wow! That was a lot for me to cover in an email. I think a couple things. He sounds like a caring man, but I think you are over-thinking him. What do you want in a man, honey?
Do you want a man closer to you? Who has time to return your messages? Two weeks for me, The Bitch, is too long. I know you like this man, but I want you to focus on yourself-your
sassy self. Please email me and I will give you a few fun assignments! Goddesspower@hotmail.com Love, Goddess
Got a guy that I like and he is about 13 years younger than me, but he seems to be interested in me; however, our fights have been about me not spending money to take care of a man. I told him I can’t take care of him and my daughter and if that is what he is looking for he should look elsewhere, because I don’t take care of men that I just met. Anyway, he explained that it was not his intention and that he is going to spend more time with me and he understands my situation and does not want me to do anything that makes me uncomfortable. He is working part time while completing his degree as a RN. He stated that he wanted to focus on his education because he had not done that before and wanted me to be patient with him. That this summer his will be more available to me. Also stated that he avoided relationships because women did not understand that he could not spend as much time with them because of his commitment to school. So, I have decided to get the ball rolling and get busy myself and not dish out a dime, cause if a man is really interested he makes time for you. I will keep the door open for him, but right now I am saying, “Next”.
Tammy,
I am proud of you for kicking this guy to the curb. A MAN does not ask a woman he is dating to support him.
Extra loser points for him because you’re supporting a child. You deserve a mature, responsible man.
Love, Goddess
Hello,
I am very much confused and would like your help on this. Just a heads up, this may be very long but I believe that it’s important that I don’t leave anything out. I am 28 and have never been in a relationship before. Not that I have never had any suitors. I have had guys asking me out but I never accepted any of their offers just because I felt they were not the “one”. I do believe in having a relationship only for long term relationship (marriage). And yes I am still a virgin and very much proud of it. Recently a few months ago I met a guy and for once I felt very attracted to someone. He asked me out, I said yes. I have to admit it was fun hanging out with him. We went out once and he didn’t call me until a few days later. After that he never asked me out again. One day I was out with my friend and came across him. While he was excitingly chit chatting with my friend I found out that we had mutual friends, people that I know and those who know him too. So after all he was not a total stranger. He hang out with us that day and later I maneuvered around to have the rest of the day with him. But then after that day again he rarely called, and when he did, it was once in a while yet he never asked me out. I then decided that maybe I should take it into my own hand and asked him out once. He turned me down, saying he had a prior arrangements made with his friends. It was very embarrassing for me and since he turned me down I promised myself not to bother with him. I told myself I was not cut out to know how to play these games. And I kept my own promise. I stopped calling and texting. After a week or so, he began to call me and started asking me out. I ignored his offer and refused to go out with him and ignored his calls/texts. He never gave up, hence he kept calling and texting and I guess I gave in finally. We went out that one time again after his little games and for the very first time he kissed me. After a couple of dates our contact progressed into new levels of foreplay. He started asking me out more often. Some things we did were just too intimate. In short, I became attracted to him physically and gave in to him a little. A little bit about him, he is only 4 years older than me and I find him gorgeous. Here is where it gets complicated. I have known him for 6 months. But 3 months from the first time I have known him, I found out that he has a girlfriend. A girl who has been with him on and off for 6-8 years. The girl had once told someone that I know that she is waiting for this guy to complete his school (he’s working on his bachelor’s in business) and get married, that it was their plan. After our 4 months relationship and after he never once divulged about his relationship with the girl I decided to ask him. Personally I liked him enough to want more in our relationship. He was very sincere. He admitted to be in a relationship with her. I then asked him where I stood with him in our relationship. And he said that we are at the stage of “getting to know one another”. That he has one more year of school and that he is not ready for marriage. Yet he feels this deep connection/attraction with me and wants to continue what we have. Knowing that he is still with his girlfriend and at the same time realizing that I like him so much, it took a toll on me but I decided to break up with him. I was very open with him telling him that I liked him very much but that I was not ready to wait for him until he makes up his mind. He kept calling me and texting me, even making me weak by saying that he needs time but yet he misses me and can’t stay another day without seeing me. I had given into him at least 3 times after our break up and each time we met, the attraction was so great I almost gave myself to him. He is very experienced and definitely knows I am a virgin. When we are together he keeps luring me with sexual innuendos and seduces me endlessly. The longest I have gone with a NO CONTACT rule with him was a month. I am still with him even after we both know that he has someone else. I pretend to be aloof about it and am trying to go back to the person I was before I met him. The person that attracted him that first time. I think it is working because lately he calls almost every day. I keep our relationship light and fun and avoid any serious talk. When we are together we still kiss touch and foreplay to the max but I won’t let him sleep with me. I just want the first time to be with someone who will appreciate me. I think he still keeps trying with me because he thinks he can get me to bed, but I am strong willed. I used to hurt when I first found out but I have come to accept the situation and have decided to enjoy him and take this as far as it could possibly take me with him. He has been very strong and kind by not taking advantage of me yet he had been very slick and seductive that I almost gave in a couple of times. My question is, am doing something wrong by keeping him around even after we both know that he has some other chic on the side?
Honey,
You’re overthinking this guy. He’s not ready for marriage. He’s told you. He’s ready for sex. I think you’re way too special a woman to be giving up so much thought on this guy. Focus
on some fun! And doing the things you love. Join us on the Facebook community for support and ideas! Here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841 Love, Goddess
Hi Goddess,
Ran into your blog by chance and I’ve been reading since, love it. I’ve learned a few things too. And finally I want to start leaving a reply too when I have thoughts.
I’m 26, had one serious relationship, though met a few guys who couldn’t start a relationship with – mostly cause we don’t live in the same city (never want a long distance, physical presence is just as important to me), but always give me with a good memory. And from my experience, you’re totally right, when a guy really likes you, he would do whatever he can to see you (flies across country to see you for two days and wasn’t for sex for example), or at least to reach you to see how you are, be it a text, an email or a phone call (even a long-distance call).
Drew Berrymore once said (when she was still single, not now though lucky her!) that, she was happy that she was single instead of having settled with the wrong person.
That was pretty inspiring I must say.
And recently I came up with a reminder for myself that when this or that guy doesn’t call nor ask me out again – don’t worry about him, I have better things to do and better people to see (or date!). He definitely hasn’t forgotten to remember me, and the chance of him being in an accident or dead for whatever reason is really really slim. If that ever happens, that’s really bad, but probably that was not what happened.
And not every one we meet is gonna really love us with all their hearts. There are alot of boys who are into games, looking for some fun, or just not ready to commit, and remember, those are all just boys. And there are those who are ready to commit and treat us right with respect are the men. Boys generally think these are too much for them to handle (be it a 34 years old guy). Feelings should be reciprocated as well, if it’s not, it’s already a good enough reason to be away from that person.
So I’d say… enjoy life, doing things you love doing, being with people you love. Dinners, concerts, events, even play with hair-dos and make-ups at home for new looks, etc. These are much worth for your time than wasting it on people who don’t value you for who you are and the lovely things that you have to offer – the witty jokes, intellectual stimulating conversations. Oh! And the delicious lips plus the sexy lingerie if someone is lucky!
(oops, a bit of a verbal diarrhea!)
Thanks for loving the site, Elisa. We’d love to see you on Facebook, too: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841?ref=ts
Welcome the Bitch Rebellion! Love, Goddess
uhm, I’m not on Facebook. But I’m on here!
Yes…you are totally part of our Rebellion! Love and hugs, Goddess
Wow! Just stumbled on this blog and can’t tell you how it has inspired me. I am an older woman who dated a lot when younger and never had problems with men probably because I was always doing my own thing. After a 15 year relationship went south and I was left with low self-esteem AND going through perimenopause, I reconnected with an old high school friend. He had just come out of a 26-year marriage and had NEVER dated as he got married at 18.
Who says it gets easier as you get older? We live in different states, commuted to a halfway point for our dates and it got serious fairly quickly at which point he totally dropped out of the picture. I did everything wrong. Texted him constantly, talked about my feelings, AND worst of all, let him get the better of me and was nowhere near being calm, cool, or collected. Instead I became an emotional wreck. I did not even recognize myself.
I finally got fed up and decided enough was enough. Not only was I dealing with some really difficult hormonal issues and already worried about my mood swings, but I had this guy who was going out of his way to get a reaction out of me. And I made all kinds of excuses for him not seeing me. I blamed it on his job (he’s a federal air marshal and travels constantly), the fact that he had just regained full time custody of his kids, you name it, I thought of it.
After 4 months of not seeing each other and this emotional back and forth, I broke off all contact with him. It was hard but I just knew that he was expecting me to get up with him and the fact that I had made such a fool out of myself really irritated me. 8 days later, he sends me a text late at night asking if I’m awake. I reply yes and he calls me on the phone. We talk back and forth and he tells me straight out that he is very attracted to me but that he thinks I’m a bit “psycho” in regards to my reaction to him. I very calmly tell him that I agree with him, say that I have been having some issues, then very nicely tell him that right now, I’m just trying to focus on my health and really don’t need the hassle of a man who wants to push my buttons. I also tell him that I am who I am and I’m not going to change for anyone and perhaps we’re just not suited to each other. He gets a bit upset and tells me that he’d like to see me and perhaps we can talk a bit more face to face. I agree and we set a date. He purchases a plane ticket for me to fly to him and gets me a hotel room.
Unfortunately, his son gets violently ill on the day I’m scheduled to leave. I tell him we’ll do it another time and that I hope his son gets better soon and I leave it at that. I know this has completely thrown him as he was expecting me to get emotional and I didn’t. He sends me a text later in the day saying thank you for being calm and rational.
BUT here’s where I have a question. I do have feelings for him and I do want a future with him. But I am worried that I might not be able to completely erase the picture of “psycho” from his mind. Is there anything else I can do to perhaps change that and get him to really start chasing me again? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting around wondering what I can do to get his attention because I’m now in the mindset where I’m not changing WHO I am or playing games to get him. I intend to play it cool with him and not let him push my buttons anymore but since it’s long distance I’m sort of at a loss as to how to get him to see that I’m going about my life here. He made the comment to me that every 28 days, like clockwork he could tell I was getting out of control, so I’m thinking he might actually be keeping up with my cycle to see what might happen! I am determined to take the battery out of my phone and lock it up so I won’t text him when that time of the month comes and I’m wondering if this will leave an impression or not? I really want a new start with him and I think he might be willing to do that as he has said I am the type of woman he could get serious about but he worries about the drama.
I know this is long and drawn out but any help you can give me in how I can change this image in his head would be appreciated!
I am really upset. I have been been trying online dating, and I went out on a few dates with different people. And the guys never call me back. We always make out and i tease them a little bit but i dont go home with them. We hang out for hours and make out and have fun. Why don’t they call after that? What can I be doing wrong? Am I not attractive enough? What is it? There is always a kiss involved…
Hi Denise,
I think you’re way over thinking this. I had a wonderful comment to the Bethany Hamilton post by Goddess Rena Hatch. Sometimes we’re so
focused on what we don’t have that we don’t focus on what we do. One of the worst is the “lack of a relationship.” Then we drive ourselves crazy
over a guy so we have a relationship. I’d love you to pour your energy into your beautiful self. Read the articles on the site and do the homework. Share
what you find with me and in our community on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841 Hugs, Goddess
Hi Sarah,
Last night I met two men at a nice restaurant. They were fun. Man A wanted me to go with his friend to drink wine in his home. I said point blank “I don’t deliver.”
They loved it. They treated me like a lady and bought me dinner. When Man A tried again to get me to go to his friends’ home, I said no way.
I’m grounded in what I want and communicate it because I’ve practiced and I don’t give a crap about what a guy wants. If he wants me, he has to earn me.
And one dinner isn’t going to do it. Treating me like a lady over time earns my trust.
So here is my question to you: What would you like from a man? Love, Goddess
I would like to not be making out on date anymore for starters. Maybe it’s not appropriate because it’s the first date. I want to be treated with respect. And one kiss if fine, but wondering how I can wait until the end of the night for that. The kiss if always in the middle of the date. I want a guy that will treat me like a princess and will want another date with me and get to know me better. Something that can lead to a serious relationship. The dates are too care free. But I am afraid if i make the date too serious they will think i am not fun. I dont know..i am feel kind of lost. I havent dated in some time..
Sarah,
I think you’re way too wonderful a woman to be so worried about dating. I love that you want respect from a man. However, I think you should focus
more on YOU wonderful YOU and less what he thinks. YOU are the Goddess. Why don’t you try doing the fun homework on the site and see what you
discover about yourself? I would love to hear what you unearth.
Hugs, Goddess
Hi ladies, I’d love to share this with you:
I went out over the weekend and had a great time with my friends (met a new cute guy too!), and the guy I have stopped dating 2 months ago saw me and came to say hello to me, told me he saw me a few times in the evening already. But I seriously did not see him at all until he came over (that proves that his attraction fails to impress me now!). And I ran into him again (guess we both like the same places…), he told me I look pretty sexy tonight. I smiled and said thank you, then I walked away.
Felt so good! The best situation ever after having stopped dating with a person.
So what I’m trying to say is…. be fabulous, and live the life that you deserve!
YES! Love it. Amazing what happens-you enjoy your own life and stay grounded in that and
men just gravitate toward you. Hugs, Goddess
Goddesspower,
I’ve never responded to your blog, however when I get weak I return to my favorites and read this article. I want to tell all women you are dead correct. Let a man chase you. Have him plan your dates and be the Leader we allow him to be in our life. (key word: allow). I used to go crazy when a man didn’t call me or make plans. Now…forget it! He must make plans with me way in advance and treat me special. Ladies if you don’t call them or respond to their texts right away they are ringing your phone off the hook. Believe me! I’m 40 years old and my phone rings more then it did when I was in my twenties. (I was calling like crazy)…Save this article to your favorites and in your weak moment read it.
Thanks so much, Tanya.
I’m so glad you have experienced this…and how empowering it is!
Go you…if you ever have any questions let me know. Although it sounds like you’ve really
got it and you and taking care of YOU. Hugs, Goddess
Hi I have a question. I saw that you should never call a man until you guys are in a relationship, well what about texting? I shouldn’t text him either? Thanks!
Hi Linda,
Thanks for asking me this question.
Nope. Let him contact you, Beautiful!
Love, Goddess
So if a guy texts us should we wait like half hour to respond or can we respond right away ?
Hello Goddess,
I have a question about a guy because my best friend is away on vacation for the week and I need some sound advice from a sensible outside point of view!
About a week ago I met a guy who is a part of my best friend’s boyfriend’s social group, and after being introduced we chatted for ages and ended up kissing, swapping numbers etc. We then continued texting non-stop, and facebooking for the next couple of days until we agreed to meet up and go on a date. I was looking forward to it, but when I met up with him his attitude was a bit ‘matey’, rather than flirty as dates usually are? We chatted the whole time though, and he walked me to my train station at the end and we kissed goodbye, but although we still talk everyday since this date, the way he talks to me now is all ‘pal’ and ‘dude’; I feel like a buddy rather than a honey!
We’ve both just broken up from long term relationships, and I’m not looking for a new serious relationship anymore than he is, in fact, I just want a bit of flirtation and fun right now, but instead it seems to have gone all plutonic. He posts fb statuses about how he wants to go out clubbing and make out with as many girls as possible, which although I have no claim to exclusivity with him, I find a bit disrespectful and strange considering he must know I’ll see it. Then after posting some such status about wanting to ‘get off’ with girls on his fb, he started texting me that very night while he was out, at 1am or something, chatting away to me again! I was giving him frosty one word answers though because obviously I didn’t appreciate his “I’m such a player” ‘tude. The following day we gradually began our usual everyday conversations, and it’s continued like that ever since.
I don’t know what to think, because if he met me and decided he simply wasn’t into me, why would he keep on texting me so frequently, sometimes for hours on end, especially as he often initiates the conversations? So confused, especially because I heard that before I kissed him last week, he had told his friends he was attracted to me ages ago, and he was telling everyone he fancied me!
I’m not a naive or inexperienced woman when it comes to relationships, but I’m useless at deciphering mixed messages, especially from this guy. Do you have any ideas on this one? Thank you in advance
Hi Chel,
You’re over thinking this. I’m too busy to reply to mens’ texts all day. I move to my own groove. If he texts me and I’m working, I work. I’ll reply when it’s
convenient for me. If I’m playing with my girls, I play. See where I’m going? Love, Goddess
Good Evening Hannah,
This little boy has stated to the world what he wants…publicly. (Uhm…ewww) Does this sound like fun? Being one of “his girls” on facebook?
You are WAY too beautiful and wonderful a woman to be treated that way. Don’t you think? (warm smile)
Hugs, Goddess
Hi, I’m 23 I work a 9to5 everyday and I’m in school full time, I recently met this guy he’s 30 years old and comes off very strong since day one. I’m confused though, he introduces me as his girlfriend to all of his friends and has recently asked me to go to Vegas with him and get married. He even tell me he loves me, and constantly showers me with lavish gift. I can’t seem to find out his motives he has only known me about 8 days. what’s the deal with this guy?
Sounds like you want a man who takes things much slower? Perhaps this article will help: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/10/dealing-with-a-demanding-man/ Love, Goddess
I met this guy a month back. We both are under the same Research Programme-its part of our training. We actually have met numerous times when we attended seminars in the course of 4 months. When he met me in the Research Group, he quickly said hi, we have been bum’n into each other in Seminars for sometime…we started talking and it turns out to be that we both have quite a number of mutual friends. At the end of the day he asked for my number and I didnt think much and gave it. After 2 days he messaged me saying that just wanted to say hi, we were messaging for quite sometime and he messaged me back in a 2 days gap…from formal conversations it lead on to flirting and he even asked me whether im still single and whether im fine with going out with him to catch up…I said ya sure, why not. He did ask me out and we went out for lunch. On that day he was bugging me to add him facebook. Im the sort of person who doesn’t just simply add people and so told him that no but coz he like asked me 3 times about it, I said I’ll add him the first thing when I reach office, which I did btw. He even messaged saying have fun working. But after adding him in facebook, he never messaged me and this is a week ago. I messaged him few days after that asking about our Research as he is the group leader and he was very formal about it and after few messages he said he was tired and going to bed early. He did not message me at all after that till I saw him in facebook yesterday. I buzzed him and said hows life and so on. I even asked him out for coffee and said that is for buying me lunch last week. He replied in that case I should ask for big meal with alcohol-he did not say anything as to whether lets go or no, im not free. Nothing and I left it there. He also said that he won’t be able to make it for the Research discussion today as he has important work to be done. But I saw him in the morning. There was this tension between us. He sat quite far away from me which he did not do last week. We hardly spoke although we are in the same sub-group and have to work together. He was like ignoring me. Im confused now coz im positive that I did not say anything wrong. For some reason I feel that he’s ignoring me after adding me in facebook and the only thing he could have found there is that im a year older than him and the country I am from, thats quite an issue. Im fine with that but who knows he might think that its an issue. What am I to do? I have to attend this Research programme every friday for the next few months, which means I’ll be seeing him.
I think you’re way to beautiful and special a woman to be giving one iota of attention to this guy.
He doesn’t sound worthy of lovely you. Hugs, Goddess