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Miami Hotness Part One

Top Chef Jeff and Me!
Top Chef Jeff and Me!

I’m back. So many stories. I’m grateful to have this space to do it in. A place where there is no judgement or competition among women. We support each other, cheer each other on and hold each other when we are overwhelmed with joy, fear, tears, or cannot take one more ounce of fun. Let’s start the Miami party.  A South Beach Party with myself, my hot girlfriend Mary Ann aka Spell Vixen and 200 other women!

Spell Vixen and I get there on Friday and of course it’s beautiful. We never made it to the beach that day because there was so much fun shopping, playing and eating to do. Every year on Friday night we have a party on the rooftop of this gorgeous hotel. Wonderful DJ, yummy drinks, water beds to sink into and major amounts of guy eye candy!

And I couldn’t make it. Do you want to know what the Universe gave me to challenge my “fun” muscle? Chafing of my inner thighs so bad I could barely walk. (Combination of luscious thighs, humidity and tons of walking will do that for you) So here I am in South Beach. The goal is for us to push our pleasure—and I can’t walk. And to kick it up one more notch…as Emeril would say, I’m medicating my thighs with the super hot diaper ointment Destine. That made me feel SO sensual and sexy. LOL. I knew what I had to do. I had to “party” it. I didn’t want to. I wanted to moan, whine and dramatically lament. But if I can’t find a way to have fun with this, how am I supposed to be achieving my goal? I want to infuse everyone with joy, laughter, and play. I want to make fun and play what we all live for.

So in honor of that “fun goal” I walked all over Lincoln Street, the boardwalk and more. I thought about the fun once I got wherever I was going.  Spell Vixen and I had a wonderful dinner, and then went to bed. We could party tomorrow. There were 2 parties scheduled on Saturday Night.

Saturday was spent at the beach. We skinny dipped. We cheered the women who were body conscious for taking off their tops.  A wonderful man spent the day giving us massages. (He even brought a table!) We frolicked and enjoyed each other. We pretended to be Ursula Andress coming out of the surf. We took sexy photos of each other, drank pina coladas and oh so much more. The chafing got a bit better in the healing ocean waters.

One of my desires was to have a gorgeous man cook me dinner. I found out the really hot guy from Top Chef, Jeff McInnis’ restaurant was a block from where we were staying: The Ritz Carlton Dilido Beach club. They had a full moon party with delicious tapas and his signature drinks were only $7.00. (Bargain in Miami) Spell Vixen and I were so there Saturday night. I wanted the Mojito that he made on the show. It wasn’t discounted…but we got it for free!  Yay! It’s a Cucumber infused Mojito and it was delicious.  Spell Vixen got it for free by flirting with the super hot hostess. It pays to flirt and not compete with women, ladies! http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/05/flirt-with-everythingnot-just-the-men/

Everything was delicious. Then, Spell Vixen took my picture with Mr. Hottie himself.  And you know what the best part of it was? Yes, he was gorgeous and friendly about the whole thing, but it was the unexpected: Before the picture was taken, he put his arm around me. Not in the “let’s get this over with way.” He pulled me into his body, in that way we women love: firmly, strongly, closely. Sigh! So hot. So we are standing there while Mary Ann is taking our picture. And he asked me where I from and why I was in Miami.  I told him where I was from and then I said: “I came for your Mojito.” (Which is true…but I made it sound so naughty which wasn’t my intention! Or was it???) He laughed, we smiled at each other and made eye contact. Oh so yummy!!!!

I managed to work that Destine. Yay me! And yay you for every similar challenge you face with fun! Love, Goddess

Next: My Miami boyfriend…the Romance Novel Model!!!

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Empowered Dating: Mommy Or Strong Sexy Bitch?

Hot quote from Pinterest: http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b7/7d/c3/b77dc3423c3fe5e45ee983ea4bd1b925.jpg

Empowered Dating:  Do you want to be your Guys’ Mommy or the Sexy Strong Bitch?  There’s a great card in the stores right now. It features two babies on the front: a baby boy and a baby girl. The baby boy says something like this:

Baby Boy: “My Mommy feeds me, burps me, cleans up after me, changes my clothes and wipes my butt. I love my Mommy.”
Baby Girl: (To herself ) “So that’s how it starts.”


The Should I or Should I not call Scenario. I’m so over it. But this is a game with men. And it’s a game that has been dramatized by our society. And it benefits the men. There’s even a movie about it: “He’s Just Not That Into You.” I won’t replay the whole thing. Everyone knows it. What’s important to know that it’s a game. Created by him to see how much you like him. Do you want to let him keep control of this little game or do you want to take control back? Right now you can establish yourself as:

1. His Mommy: Where you do all the work and he sits back, waiting for you to wipe his butt.
2. His Strong Sexy Bitch: The woman who lets him come to her. The sexy, successful woman who really doesn’t care about his butt (except how it looks in jeans). She’s really not all that impressed with his words. She sees if he’s worthy of her affections through his “actions” toward her.

You deserve a man who will do what he “says” he’s going to do. His words to you are backed up by thoughtful actions. And it’s important to establish this at the onset of any sort of “relationship.” Or he will think he can walk all over you. I once had a guy ask me to inspect a truck for him that he was thinking about buying. I wasn’t even his girlfriend and we hadn’t been seeing much of each other. No freakin’ way. If we were married, absolutely. If you have a single guy in your life who is asking you to do things like this for him, it isn’t about the task he’s asking you to do. He’s seeing how hard you’ll work for him. So this is how we proceed with the “Should I Call” scenario:

1. He makes a statement. “I’ll call you.” (Words)
2. You go on enjoying your fabulous life: friends, career, family, other potential love interests, etc.
3. He picks up the phone and dials your digits. (Action)
4. You can pick up if you want to or let him leave a message. (It’s your choice)

Remember if you are in the middle of something (eating, sleeping, working, painting your nails) and he calls, don’t stop.  Move to your own groove.  Call him back when it’s convenient for you.  If they don’t call, see if the next man will back up his words with actions. Period. End of story. When they do call…be happy to hear from them. Share bits and pieces of your exciting life with him. Let HIM bring up the possibility of a date with delicious little you.

And you…you sexy hot amazing intelligent thing…are SO worth it!

With love, play and laughter, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. Let a Man Chase You Here’s How
  2. How Not to be Late Night Booty Call Girl
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home
© S Stevens Life Strategies

Everyday Glamour

She’s got it.  For more glamorous puppy pics, visit fashionistapuppies

Glamour! I get excited when it’s time to glam myself up for a big night out.  I feel so good after working out, showering, manicuring, coiffing, shimmering and putting on special make up.  I also see it as a ton of work.  So how do I keep this wonderful glamorous feeling with my busy schedule?

I finally figured out a system.  Part of this comes from one of the most beautiful women on the planet…my friend Spell Vixen.  She told me to have “certain looks for certain activities.”  I got it, but it sounded like too much work.  This was my process:  I would wear jeans and lip gloss for rehearsal.  Simple dresses for everyday, work etc.  Yawn.  I’m even boring myself remembering and writing about it!  LOL.  She has patiently tried to teach me for years.  I’m so lucky to have such a patient friend.  I have to say, I was never really enthusiastic about this whole process.  So I tired, but not consistently.

Finally…a few days ago I got it.  This was the second part:  Seeing the fun involved in glamour…and how simply it could be achieved.  I actually thought about my wardrobe and what I was doing that day.  I was going to rehearsal.  I have the cutest Calvin Klein summer dress.  Feminine but sporty at the same time.  Instead of just grabbing my usually shoes (the black ones that went perfectly with it) I really looked at the dress.  It was too casual for the shoes I usually wore with it.  Then I saw my cute Mudd flip flops with the funky fringe on them.  Perfect!  I did the same thing with my other accessories and make up and I felt so much more put together.  And it took only a few moments.

Then I remembered my “Fun Beauty Scrapbook.”  It’s filled with things and ideas I’ve clipped out of magazines over the years.  Loaded with fun ideas I rarely do or have taken the time enjoy.  I opened it yesterday and got really excited.  I had clipped all these beauty swatches on how to achieve the following looks:  “Good Girl” “Seductress” “All American,” etc.  I’ve decided to do them all…finally.  Just play with those versions of looks I love in magazines.  Want to play with me?  Let’s play grown-up dress up together ladies!  Here are some ideas for you to play with…for you.  Discover and enjoy new or rusty facets of wonderful you:

1.  This is a fun link.  It gives you tips, pictures and ideas to channel another part of your luscious self:  In Style Online Magazine

2.  Take a few items that make you feel “glamorous” and put them in your purse, in your car or a special drawer at work.  These items could include:  a hot red lip gloss, moisturizer in your favorite fragrance, shimmer powder, a special piece of jewelry, shimmer spray…you get the idea.  Put these things everywhere.  Instant glamour at your finger tips!

So in review, here are keys to “Everyday Glamour”

1.  Have different “looks” for different activities.

2. Focus on what fun it is to transform yourself to a complete “look.”  It can be a simple as changing your shoes or lip gloss!

Enjoy playing hot ones!  I would adore hearing any fun “personas” or glamour tips for us to try and share!  Love, Goddess

Want more?  How about stocking your Glamour Arsenal with these classics, tips and reading!

Chanel No 5

How to Look Expensive Without Breaking the Bank

Glamour: A History

© S Stevens Life Strategies



How Not to be Late Night Booty Call Girl

booty call

It’s a gorgeous Sunday morning.  I’m at my favorite blueberry farm picking organic and luscious ripe blueberries.  In the next blueberry lane I hear 2 women talking about men.  It becomes crystal clear what my next blog was going to be about:   Don’t let a man disrespect you by being his “Late Night Booty Call Girl.”  Here is the conversation I overheard:

Woman A: Mike called last night.

Woman B: Really?

Woman A: He said he wanted to hang out. I thought it was a little strange because it was so late, but I wasn’t really doing anything so I said okay. He said he would be right over.

Woman B: What time was it?

Woman A: 10:30 and he was a little drunk because he’d been celebrating a success at work.

Woman B: Oh…

Woman A: So he comes over and hits on me. I told him no, he left and he hasn’t called to apologize for his behavior!

Woman B: Wow.

Woman A: I’m really glad I was strong enough to say no.


So was I!  Then there was more discussion about his success at work, why he didn’t call to apologize, etc.  All about him, nothing about her and how she had been disrespected.  The Bitch wouldn’t have cared about his success at work or the fact that he didn’t call to apologize.  The Bitch knows that the moment he calls at 10:30 at night drunk to hang out she was one thing: “Late Night Booty Call Girl”  And THAT would be the thing she would be focused on.  The disrespect of that call.  Here’s how I handle a late night call (and a drunken one at that!) from a man:

Bitch Goddess (me): I got a call from Mike last night.

Mary Ann (my hot girlfriend): Really…

Bitch Goddess: (sarcastic) He called me drunk at 10:30 and said he wanted to hang out with me.

Mary Ann: (Rolls her eyes and shakes her head)


I would have answered this phone call in one of two ways.  First way, since it was late, I would have let my voice mail answer.  One of my personal “dating rules” is not to be too available to men I’m just starting to date.  I let it go to voice mail after 10 PM because I have to work early and that’s me time.   This really cuts down on the “Late Night Booty Call Girl” calls.

Second way:  If I’m dating the man more seriously and he calls me up drunk and late, he’s not respecting me.  So I’m not rude, I just let him know in a polite and firm way that this behavior is not going to fly with me.  Any one of these responses would work:

1. Good job, Mike. I have an early day at work tomorrow. Night, sweetie.

2. Congratulations on the cool work news! Good night, Mike.

3. I’m going to be busy sleeping in a few minutes, Mike. Enjoy your celebration!


It’s really important to keep your response unemotional and clear.  A man knows how to push a woman’s emotional buttons.  (see my earlier blog on this subject What You Can Learn From Mens Magazines )  Why do men push our emotional buttons like this?  When a woman responds emotionally to disrespect from a man, it confirms to him that she cares.  It gives them a temporary ego boost.   Over time a man will lose respect for a woman if she is too available to him, or gets too emotional when he crosses the line.  What keeps their ego boosted is the woman who doesn’t put up with his nonsense and puts him  in his place.  Let a Man Chase You Here’s How   Over time, it makes him feel better to have the strong woman in his life.  The strong woman is the one he wants to marry and raise a family with.  Strong men get this and this is the man you want to raise a family with.  That’s why I want you to really watch a mans’ actions.  The strong man will still be male and try to push your buttons from time to time.  (Refer back to boundaries part of mens magazines blog)  The man who cares for you will feel bad when he disrespects you.  He may not say he was wrong but he will show with his actions that he was wrong.

Remember:  We all want that beautiful love story.  Both sexes are putting their emotions on the line.   He will put everything on the line for a strong woman.  She will give her heart to a man who shows he cares by his actions.  Both of us win by understanding each others’ nature.  This is a huge subject that we will delve into more ladies, promise.  Just remember what a hot, wonderful gorgeous woman you are and clarify what you want in a relationship with a man.   If you have any questions, let me know.  Love, Goddess

Want more?  Order  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual now on Amazon!

Things to do instead of worrying about what HE is doing:

American Classics  Become a master chef!

Paris: Portrait of a City Study and make plans to go to Paris.

You Can Heal Your Life Great book about studying the signals your body sends you every day.

© S Stevens Life Strategies