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September 2009 – Page 2 – Bitch Lifestyle – page 2

Venting Anger 101

I looked up “venting anger” on the Internet today.  I was curious about what the cyber world had on this subject.  A Blog called “The Happiness Project” discusses the Myth “Venting Anger Releases it,”  The New York Times says that venting anger may stave off some illness, but may cause more harm than good.  There are articles that say venting anger does absolutely no good.  Mashable has 24+ Sites Where You Can Vent Your Anger  there’s a  YouTube song declaring anger a weakness Click here to watch and the Buddists online say it’s a weakness, too.   Wow…seems like a hot topic.  Couldn’t resist a little levity, you know me.  Wink!   All the different viewpoints, actions to take and differences of opinion were confusing.  All the articles declaring the weakness and toxicity of anger didn’t make me feel good either.  So let’s sift away all the noise and agree on the bottom line.

Bottom Line:  We get angry.

LOL.  So how do we process this enormous land slide of contradicting information?  So we can deal with it constructively?  We embrace the anger.  It’s a part of us!   It happens.   So let’s experiment by giving anger  “structure” in our lives.  Let’s first agree on this:

1.  We all get angry.  It’s a part of being human.

2.  We’re all different.  What works for one individual in getting rid of anger may not work for another.

3.  We structure our “financial” “home” “family” and “work” lives, right?  So why not give another part of our lives “dealing with anger” a little of the same respect?

How do we give anger structure and make it okay to do?  We’ll make a plan and give it a fun name.  Like an “anger budget.”

My 7 Day Affair with Anger:    Get a notebook.  Pick an appropriate color.  Red with rage, Green with envy, Black with Anger.  Write in it how you feel.  Or use your computer word processor. When you get angry, write about it.  Then do something to see if that relieves the anger.  Make a list.  Try a different one each day.  Here are some suggestions to get you started:

Day One:  Kick Box-my favorite!

Day Two:  Find a friend for your “Anger Love Affair.” Write down what is angering you.  Completely uncensored.  Let it rip.  Send it to your anger friend.  Have them do the same.  Don’t criticize or analyze.  I got this idea from my lovely friend Mary Ann.  We vent and see the beauty of the raw emotion and truth to what we are feeling.  It feels so good to say what you really want to say in a safe, non-judging environment.  We don’t do this every day, mind you!  This works best for us when something major has happened, work, love, etc.  But that’s us.   You are different.  Find your own venting “rhythm.”

Day Three:  Research anger venting on the Internet.  Find something you want to try and do it.

Day Four:  This is tough.  Discuss your anger while looking at yourself in a mirror.

Day Five:  Choose a color (red?) palette in your closet and design your “anger outfit.”  Wear it.

Day Six:  Pick something from the above days.  When you complete a task, do something fun.  Take a hot shower, call a friend, dress up and have a yummy cocktail together.  Put on your favorite perfumed lotion slower than slow.  Watch your favorite funny movie, go to the fun category on this site and select something to do.

Day Seven:  Analyse what you’ve learned this week.  What felt good, what didn’t.  Do what made you feel better more.

And  that’s it.  If you want to continue your “Anger Affair” by all means do.  This is about you and only you.  It may please you to do 3 days, or maybe an anger month.  The point is, make something that is very human about us, our anger, and own it.  Play with it, discover and spit all that weakness in the eye and party with it.

I would love to hear how this goes!  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies



Passions Collide Then Fizzle

Passions collide and then fizzle.   http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/09/passions-collide/  Yesterday I was wondering how a passion filled day was going to fit into my busy schedule.  I organized everything perfectly and then nothing turned out as I planned.  LOL!   It’s so cute how we organize everything to a tee and then it goes into the trash.  Last night the fact that nothing was perfect was ultimately more fun.  Because I made a choice.  A choice to surrender to the crazy chaos that replaced all the passionate fun I was looking forward to.  I made a choice to go with the flow and have fun with it.  

Everything went into the trash after I finished a very busy day working and my walk at the beach.  (Passions #1 and #5)  Crazy communication snafus, sick friends (poor babies!) and numerous other things started happening right before I was supposed to go to Boston. (Passion #2 Improv, Passion #3 Football and Passion #4 Friends)  And I got a little pissy.  I was pissy because I organized everything JUST SO.  I was so proud of my organization and juggling of events.  I was proud of my inventiveness and stamina for passion.

The next moment I had trash.  Then I laughed.  I made my choice to play and have fun with it.  Maybe I was meant to relax more tonight.  My schedule is so busy.  And maybe, just maybe running all over Boston wasn’t the most pleasurable thing for me to do last night.  I do that all the time, after all!  Maybe relaxing and just enjoying my beloved football was the perfect thing for me to do.

And it was.  The game was mind-blowing for last five minutes.  And I got free food where I went to watch the game.  I am so good at getting free food, ladies!  Play with that idea and you will be amazed at what comes your way.   And the first thing I thought when I went to bed was…today is something to write about!

I learned the more I let go of how I think “things should work” and play when things don’t work out as planned, I’m pleasantly surprised by the fun that comes my way.  Whew… that was a long sentence.  How about you lovely ones?  When this happens to you, how do you handle it?  We would love to learn from you.  Learn how to laugh and play our butts off to whatever trash life throws at us!

Love, Goddess




© S Stevens Life Strategies



Passions Collide

Passion.  I love that word so much.  I’m using the word in reference to things that light us up.  Make us beam with happiness and anticipation for the fun to come.   A lot of the time we can schedule our passions.  So they are all neat and tidy and we can just be in the moment.  But what happens when we are passionate about many things and the opportunities come flying at us at a million miles an hour?  That’s happening for me today.  Here we go:

1.  My passion for this web site.  So many fun things to do.  An AStore is in development for your shopping fun, interviews with beyond fabulous people, and live dates for us to play together.  And so many things to discuss and write about!  My head is spinning with ideas!

2.  Improv Comedy is another serious passion of mine.  My improv group has shows this month and rehearsal tonight in Boston.  Rehearsal is right in the middle of the first Patriots game tonight.  Which brings me to passion #3. 

3.  Anyone who knows me knows how nuts I am for football.  3 Fantasy Teams, listen on the radio, watch whenever humanly possible.  And being at Gillette Stadium watching a game?  I am in bliss.

4.  Meeting up in Boston to party it up with my amazing friends in Boston during the Patriots game.

5.  Working out:  It’s an absolutely perfect day for an hour long walk at the beach.  Beach is another huge passion.

So what does a passionate girl do when her passions collide?  Can I really cram it all in?  In the process of cramming can I actually be in the moment and not be thinking about all the other things I’m trying to cram in?  LOL.  Absolutely!  And here’s how.

1.  Last night (while listening to football) I made lists of amazing things for the Astore, wrote, and the hours went by because I loved what I was doing.

2.  Improv:  I know rehearsal is scheduled during the game, and this will be a little challenge for me to really concentrate on playing my butt off in rehearsal.  I’ll be edgy if I don’t respect passion #5.

3.  I’ll be able to watch the beginning of the football game, watch and party with friends after rehearsal, and listen to the pre-and post game shows during my drives to and from Boston.

4.  Having some fun with friends at the end of the day?  Yes!  I can truly relax after a crazy day, have a drink and play play play.

5.  Working out.  This for me pulls everything together.  I push the edginess out of my body.  I’ll go for my long beach walk.  Then I’ll take a few minutes to kick box out any edginess before I shower, put on my Patriot jersey and head to Boston. 

So how about you, lovely ones?  Do you have any tricks to share how you deal with all your passions?  I would love to hear about it.  (And maybe apply them in my life!)  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies



Turn Worry into Fun!

Turn “Worry” into Fun

What? Are you crazy Goddess? That’s right. Today the assignment is not an easy one. But it will become easier over time. Learning to “Party” with our “Worries.”  First off I want to thank a wonderful man for this idea. One of my favorite all time quotes is from a football player named Rodney Harrison. Here it is:

“I love it when people doubt me.”

Mr. Harrison said it so perfectly. Instead of focusing on all the doubters doubting him, all the bad press, all the “cant’s” “no ways” and “forget its,” he focuses on the outcome…what will make him happy.

We all have people telling us what we can and can’t do. And if people aren’t telling us what we can and can’t do, they are probably telling us the right and or wrong ways we’re doing things. Which leaves us with a whole lot of doubt sometimes. But where does worry and doubt really get us?  It gets us sleepless nights second guessing ourselves.  We want to be successful but we are bombarded with so much information on how to do it. Right, wrong, blah, blah.  So it’s time to step off the procrastination and worry train and fully believe that whatever your gut is telling you is the right thing. If you make a mistake? Cool. You learn. It’s not the end of the world. Pat yourself on the back because you are going for what you want…YAY you!

It’s so easy for us to fall into the “I have so much work to do and I don’t know how I’m going to do it scenario. I did it for a MONTH when I didn’t write for this blog. I was Excuse Goddess and here are a few of them: I have to build this web site; I have to figure out how to do this than and the other thing. I am not a techie. I’m on vacation (okay we’ll let that be a good reason…not an excuse) I have A, B, and C I’m in the middle of and I don’t have time. Guess what. All the worrying, fretting and bitching takes up TIME you could be focusing on all your beautiful progress. So what if you didn’t get all you wanted done in one day. As long as you do your best and focus on the positive side of it all…your success…so what? In fact we are really going to celebrate worry and doubt right now.

Throw a “Worry Party.” Seriously. Get your friends together and celebrate it.
1. Send invitations out that embody “worry.” Black, brown, ugly…just blah!
2. Name the food in celebration: “Procrastination Pate,” “Cheese Wheel of Worry.”
3. Serve really dark beverages.
4. Under dress code put “unattractive:” like your most unflattering and frumpy outfit.
5. Play pitiful music.
6. Have a “worry circle” where everyone gets to vent their worries. Discuss and lament your worries. Toast  them.
7. Switch it. Take out your most empowering, fun, uplifting music and dance your booties off! Celebrate taking time to get all the worry out. Celebrate how clever you are for turning something not fun…into a party!

I can’t wait to hear how it goes! Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies