Dell Williams A Sexual Pioneer for Women

“I’m a tiny person with a big mouth.”  Dell Williams Founder of Eve’s Garden 

Dell Williams is one of my heros.   Talk about breaking barriers!  Her success is based on huge amounts of courage, tenacity and intellectual curiosity.

1.  She worked as an actress for years and then enlisted in the army in 1945.  Because she was an actress, she was assigned to work with an Entertainment Officer.  He gave her the arduous duty of moving around a piano.  After a week of performing this duty,  she marched up to the major’s office and told him: ‘Look, I don’t mind about having to move the piano, but those two singers just aren’t good enough to entertain our troops.  These men have already been wounded enough.  I told him what he ought to do was to call upon some of the members of the company who had real experience in show business-there were enough of us to pull together a really bang-up revue. ‘  She was transferred out of that office. (snicker)  Eventually she  produced and performed in a daily radio show and “bang-up revues” overseas for the soldiers.

2.  She wanted to be an accountant.  She was told “women couldn’t be accountants.”  She became hugely successful in one of the biggest accounting firms in New York City.

3.  She took a class on sexuality taught by actress Betty Dodson.  After class, she decided to go out and buy her own “Magic Wand.”  She went to Macy’s and the sales boy asked her nosy questions.  From the book:  ” I left Macy’s that day, clutching my precious, anonymous brown shopping bag and thinking: someone really ought to open up a store where women can buy one of these things without some kid asking her what she’s going to do with it.”

So she created Eve’s Garden in her kitchen.  It has evolved into a wonderful educational store where women can explore every facet of their sensuality.  I recently visited her store in New York City and loved it!  There are all sorts of toys (wink) and a wonderful reading room full of books and information.  I had a ball exploring.  Click here to go to Eve’s Garden

How did I learn about my hero, Dell?  I was taking a class in New York City for women.  So was Dell.  The subject of women’s sexuality came up.  Dell stood and said, “We have to love our asses!”  She is so right.  Her feisty passion for women and building our strength awe inspiring.  She was relieved to be in a room with women who could carry on her mission. She was no longer one of the fighting few.  She knew her mission and passion for us owning our sensuality would continue to move on, even after she was gone.  The weight of her mission and relief that it would continue was evident in her body.  It was a poignant moment I’ll never forget.

In her biography, ” Revolution in the Garden” Dell writes this on her Dedication page:

It has long been my unassailable belief that orgasmic women can change the world.  By this I mean that a woman who is unfettered sexually is unfettered politically, socially, economically and she is unstoppable.  I dedicate this book to all of us who are in the process of rediscovering our sexual, essential, unstoppable selves.

I’m dedicating the “Sensuality” portion of this blog to her.   To a woman who is courageous, tenacious and believes that life long curiosity and willingness to learn can help keep your mind, body and spirit youthful.  To a woman who has endured personal attacks and picketing so women could have a place to go and educate themselves about their sexuality.  I’ve put a link in the Bitch Boutique for her autobiography “Revolution in the Garden.”  To quote Dell: ‘ How a nice Jewish Girl from the Bronx ended up owning a sex toy store.’   Thank you Dell for all you have done for women’s sensuality!  Huge hug and orgasmic kiss! Love, Goddess

****Enjoy the other videos and information on Dell’s Website Eve’s Garden

Suggested Reading:

  1. 50 Shades of Grey Book 
  2. The Dark Side of the Male Ego
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Feisty Fall Fun

fall fun
Picture from the wonderful web blog: adam.rosi-kessel.org/…/26/proof-of-fall-2008

 

Let me be blunt.  Get your hot ass out and start partying with fall.  Now!  Here are some feisy fall fun ideas:

1.  It’s apple season get in there and enjoy. Go to an apple farm, pick some apples and make yummy pies, tarts and crisps.  Throw in different fruits that turn you on, different spices.  Try different apples too.  Bitch it up by making or finding the gooiest, most decadent caramel apple you’ve ever seen and enjoying it.  Savor it.  Absolutely no guilt.

2.  Go on a hay ride with all your girlfriends.  Bitch it up by wearing hot yet comfy fall outfits.  Bring blankets, hot cocoa or tea and frolic in the hay together.  Flirt with your driver, flirt with the girl selling the tickets.  Pick a song to celebrate the outing and play it.

3.  Accept last minute offers for fun.  I don’t care what it is.  A party, a baseball game, movie, dinner, just do it.  Make time for it.  It will refresh you.  You may be a little tired the next day, but the impromptu fun is so worth it.

4.  Get outside this weekend by the beach, the park, the pond.  Bring a blanket, lie down and close your eyes.  Enjoy the rays of warm sunshine on your face and body.  Breathe deeply the fresh, cool, crisp air surrounding you.

5.  Find a local charity you love.  Work with them to create a haunted house with all your friends.  Create the most fun, haunted house, field, hayride, barn whatever, ever!  Give the profits to your charity.

6.  This time of year is loaded with festivals.  Find one that doesn’t seem like your cup of cider and go.  Make it fun.  We’re Bitches.  We make everything fun!

7.  Plant bulbs in pots.  “Force” their bloom by letting them sit in a cool, dark place.  Google how.  Start taking out pots one by one in Jan/Feb for gorgeous spring blooms in your home for the rest of the winter!  My favorite is Hyacinth.  They smell amazing and come in gorgeous colors.

8. Plan a fall hike in the foliage.  Bring a yummy picnic with dark chocolate, cider, decadent cheese and delicious panini.

9.  Find a haunted corn maze and play in it with friends.

10.  While it’s still warm, have a candlelit party.  Keep it simple. Wine, cheese, fruit, crusty bread, fall vegetable dishes.

Have fun ideas for fall?  Please share here and on  The Bitch Lifestyle Facebook fan page!   Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Anger IS Scary. Don’t Let Anger Win

Stress Management and Anger
Hissy Fit Kitty found at Strawberry Indigo

Anger is scary if you let it be.  Don’t let anger win.  I was scared to get angry for years.  In our polite society it’s not something you do:  get angry.  You wouldn’t want to hurt “someones feelings” or “say the wrong thing.”  (written with sarcasm)  Oh no.  It’s okay for YOU to be on the other end of the anger stick though.  If someone is a jerk we have been trained to suck it up.  The result?  After years of “sucking it up,” we can get even more pissed.  Result:  We may release it in a bad way:  hello road rage.  Or, it could go somewhere in our body and turn up as hypertension, ulcers or cancer.  Here’s my “Three Phase Process to Deal with Anger.”  It helped me, I hope it helps you.  If not, keep looking.  Humans are blessed with emotions.  Some good, some bad.  It’s up to us to find the best way for each of us to conquer it in our own individual way.  One way that helps me?  Getting physical.  Kick boxing, long walks.  Vigorous exercise helps me release!!!  Research and discover what works for YOU.

Phase One:  Acknowledging and releasing negative emotions.  Your body is an amazing thing.  There’s a fascinating book by Louise Hay called “You Can Heal Your Life.”  It’s all about listening to your body, its symptoms, and sickness, etc.   How this helps you take better care of yourself.  When I first started dealing with years of being too nice and pent up anger, I broke out with the biggest pimples ever.  Worse than when I was a teenager.  The ones from my teen years would go away.  Not these.  From the book:

Pimples:  Small outbursts of anger.

The pimples was my body telling me to let go of the anger.  The enormous pimples that would not go away were symbolic of all the anger below the surface.  Years of not telling people what I really think of situations had taken it’s toll.   The anger had no where else to go and was literally overflowing out of my body.  The real, feisty me was hidden under loads of gunk.  Like the yucky gunk in pimples.  The pimples only went away after I had dealt with my anger.

Phase Two:  Practice communicating in a firm, blunt, unemotional manner.  The Bitches’ way.  That’s power and being in control.  You want it?  Ya gotta work at it.  When you have to deal with a difficult solution try this:  On top of a sheet of paper, write down what you want the end result to be.  Your Bitch Goal.  Below Bitch Goal and to the right:  supporting points.  To the left:  Anything that may throw a wrench in you obtaining your Bitch Goal.  Start with one little Bitch Goal a day, week, whatever.   Play your cute butt off with it.  You’re a gorgeous, playful seductress and can seduce anyone into doing anything.  If you feel anger creeping in—and you will, re-visit phase One.

Third phase:  Knowing and owning your anger and fear.  Anger and fear will be replace with determination and sassy fun.  Your Bitch has arrived.   There will be setbacks, but you will be so much more accomplished in dealing with them!  It’s so worth it.

Let’s recap:

Phase One=Releasing the Anger:  Kick box, dance, run as fast as you can, do whatever you can to get rid of it.  Vent to your best friend.  Just do it.  This may take awhile.  Keep focus on victory.

Phase Two=Practice calmly dealing with people and situations that anger you:  Practice expressing your opinion, displeasure, etc in a clear, unemotional way.  Keep focused on your Bitch Goal.  Again, practice makes perfect.

Phase Three=Owning your sexy sassy Bitchy self:  Adding that dash of fun and sass happens naturally when you’re confident that people and situations that try to piss you off have no control over you.  Bonus: you’ll simmer with charisma.

So get in there beautiful and fight for you by releasing anger and practice voicing that hot opinion of yours!  If you have questions, let me know.  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. Validation
  2. Why Are Some People So Mean?
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home  

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Movie Star Carole Lombard Feisty and Fabulous

Carole Lombard
Gorgeous image of Carol Lombard from Classic Movie Favories 

Movie star fabulous.  If there was a woman who could teach me a thing or two about living life, it’s Carole Lombard.  Fiesty, bawdy, brilliant comedianne and actress, always fighting for the underdog, philanthropist, witty and intelligent.  I could go on and on.  Today I’m going to share some beautiful pictures and some awesome quotes about and by Carole.   Imagine how fun it would be to spend the day with a woman like her!

Carole Lombard Young-casma.jpg
Image from Mimi Frou Frou  

Fun facts:  Alfred Hitchock created the movie “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” so he could work with Carole.  Could you imagine “Gone With the Wind” without Clark Cable as Rhett Butler?  We can thank Carole because she was the reason he took on the role.  He was insecure about his ability as an actor.  Her belief and strength gave him the courage to tackle the role.  Remember that with your man.  Your man wants a strong woman to believe in him.  A woman who believes he could tackle anything and win.  And if he loses?  She still looks at him and believes he’s the biggest winner ever.

“Don’t burn over criticism.  Stand up to it like a man.” Carole Lombard

Here’s Carole giving Clark Cable a well deserved kick in the ass.  Clark Gable tried to give our Bitch Carole some crap.  In public-and not to her beautiful face. She gave it right back by putting a picture of him on a ham and presenting it to him in public.  TO his handsome face.  Love it.

movie stars,carole lombard,love,adventure,
Image from: flickr.com/photos/likeabalalaika/3740105959/

“We called her The Profane Angel because she looked like an angel but she swore like a sailor. She was the only woman I ever knew who could tell a dirty story without losing her femininity.” Film Director Mitchell Leisen

Some gems from Carole:

“Be efficient. . . Don’t men marry their secretaries?”

“Give ‘em a laugh, that’s the best doctor in the world!”

“Women have an advantage in business. Men are so secure in their belief that they are supreme in business that they are often caught napping by alert women. Man thinks he’s dealing with an inferior brain when it comes to woman, and that makes him a sucker. Furthermore, women have a highly developed sense of intuition that’s just as valuable as hardheaded logic.”

“A girl needs a strong defense. When I was looking for jobs in show business, I found that men in booking offices got ideas. I discovered that if I could startle them sufficiently, they soon got their minds back to business.”

“MAYBE it is true that I have a habit of being abruptly outspoken and not mincing my words. I’ve never believed in kidding myself by calling a spade a garden implement. But never in my life have I ever said anything for the purpose of embarrassing anyone, or for the effect of being called the most startling woman in Hollywood.”

Carole Lombard owned who she was.  She didn’t care what people said.  Even if the press named her “The Most Startling Woman in Hollywood.”  This statement alludes to the fact that she always had the best intentions, regardless of what she said or the spin others put on it.   She didn’t let what “Others” said or thought about her affect her.  She knew that by doing that she would fan their toxic words into flames.   Here’s to you, Carole!  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies