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September 2010 – Page 2 – Bitch Lifestyle – page 2

Respect and the First Date

 Image of Gisele Bundchen at: onitgirls.wordpress.com/

It’s 8:00 am.  I sit down at the computer to enjoy the last few sips of coffee and answer email.  I get an IM from a man who wants to meet me.   If a man wants to flirt with you have fun with it.  Communicate how you want to be treated and then watch his actions.   Practice this with every man you meet.  Practice makes perfect.   This conversation was about him getting me to do what he wanted.  It amused me.   Because I wasn’t falling for it.  In order to protect the less than innocent, we’ll name him “George.” My analysis of the conversation is in italics.  

George: do you know the north shore grill high st and ocean

Me: Yes.

George: can u meet me there in 20 minutes

Assuming that I have nothing else better to do than meet him for coffee=disrespect.

George: sit outside coffee…

Me: I’d love to, but I’m busy working.

George:  blah blah blah

George:  come on…coffee break

George:  just have a cup of coffee with me then you can go

Me:  I would enjoy having a cup of coffee with you… but my work is important and I have commitments.

George: i understand that

No you don’t.

George:  is 30 minutes going to throw off your whole day

I say nothing on purpose.

George:  never mind

He’s going to switch tactics with me.  That one didn’t work.

George:  i thought it would be fun to meet briefly

I get it.  The tactic is guilt.

George:  perhaps some other time

Me: It depends on when the 30 minutes is, honey. I need more notice. I run a business.

I’m not meeting at “the drop of a hat girl.”  If you want to meet me, then respect my time. 

George:  i figured it was relatively early in the morning and getting away now would be easier than later

You figured wrong.

George:  ok

I’ve won the round. 

George:  well…you tell me

It’s moving forward…

George: my cell is ******* text me anytime

Just took a step back.  He expects me to call and chase him.  Not happening.

Me: How about…Monday morning at 9:00 am. That would give me time to arrange my day.

I reiterate my point.  Sometimes you have to communicate your point multiple times with a man.

George:  i will be working in CT

Me: Oh come on. You don’t have 20 minutes? 😉

I just threw all disrespect of me right back at him.  In a playful manner of course. 

George:  that makes no sense.  i work out of state

Me: I was playing with you. You were playing with me about not meeting you in 20 min for coffee?

George:  yes…because you’re on the seacoast and working from home…

Here’s where I have to make my point yet again.

Me:  Just because I work at home doesn’t mean that I can just go at the drop of a hat anytime. I wish. Maybe one day, but not now. You know what I mean?

Have you got it now?

George:  yes i do

George:  maybe you will want a break later on…you have my phone…call or text me…we can meet… i’m not working today

Me: Beautiful day for you not to work. 

George: see you later…maybe

George: maybe?

Me: I have a feeling that we’re going to meet…? 😉

George: oh really…hmmmm

George: tell me more oh great psychic

Me: It’s a little unclear of the when right now (insert mysterious music here)

Let setting up the first date be his decision.

George: hmmmmm

George: do you see heat and passion flowing

Not with this IM conversation, honey.  But you have to practice with every man. Telling them what you want.  This will make it easier when you meet the man you REALLY want.

Me: A man of action, not words makes me see heat and passion.

George: so you like mutes.  LOL

Notice he’s being charming now to get what he wants. 

Me: if the mute signs what he is going to do and then does it. YES!

George: lol

George: well all this time you are typing from behind your monitor we could have been eyeball to eyeball having coffee

Here we go again.  Time to make my point again, but stronger.

Me:  True, but haven’t we gone over the whole giving me 20 minutes to meet you thing?

If he keeps going with this, he’s going to look like an ass.  My statement alludes to this.

George:  yes dear

He got it.

Me: smart man

George:  mom did not raise a fool

The jury’s still out, buddy.

Me:  Well…I have to focus on work now. Enjoy a gorgeous day off!

George: call me later on in afternoon when you have a break

George: i will come say hello, or we can meet briefly by the beach

Me: I have plans in Boston tonight. When you get back from CT maybe we can meet?

George: Perhaps

Now he wants me to chase again. Or he’s flirting.  Hard to tell in an IM.  Bottom line, he’s going to have to do the asking.  I tell him it would be great to meet him, have a wonderful day off and zip…log off. 

Study this and notice the signs of a man wanting you to chase him.  And disrespect you.  Don’t let this anger you.  Anger is loss of power.  Visit Drama Queen on this site so you stay in control.  And practice, practice, practice!  You’re the Bitch in charge of who you want to date.  Bathed in glowing light, like Gisele above.  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Fun With Drama Queen

  Picture from scrapetv.com

Do you beat yourself up when things don’t go quite as planned?   I’m so with you.  In the past I’d set huge expectations for myself.  When things didn’t go as planned I would sink into Drama Queen.   In some sort of cute twisted way, we women eat this stuff up.  Why?  Because of one simple word.

Attention. 

We create this drama because of attention.  We want it and we’re not getting it.  This idea may have some of you giggling.   Or, I may have made some angry with my one word answer to why we sink into Drama Queen.  Which one was it?  The bottom line, hot ones is this.  We love attention.  When we don’t get enough of it, we may get pissed and antsy.  The longer we let this continue, the more pissed off and antsy we may get. 

I get so many emails from women angry at people from work, friends, their boyfriends or rude people.  This anger and frustration is putting our attention on all the wrong things.  And it’s tough to get past this when life is moving fast and furious with irritation.   This is the precise moment when we must put our attention on us.  There’s only one thing you can control:  how you handle a situation.  If it’s a major problem, it goes away by solving it.  If it’s something annoying that you are going to have to deal with semi-permanently, we have to choose not to let it bother us.  The rude person at work only has control over you if you let them.  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/09/venting-anger-101/

And we shouldn’t feel bad about how much we adore attention.  We loved to be admired and fussed over.  Why do you think we love going to spas so much?   And we are hot wired for this!  We have an organ, the clitoris, that has the sole purpose of giving us an orgasm.  An organ designed specifically for our pleasure. That’s pretty amazing, being hot wired for fun and pleasure, huh?  We must remember this when Drama Queen rears her dramatic little head. Get yourself some fun-PRONTO!  Here are a few things I did over the past weekend when I felt Drama Queen festering below the surface.  I hate spiders and they were all over me the last few days.  LOL.  Cause and solution:

Cause:  I helped my brother paint and clean a rental house he owned.  The prior tenants never cleaned.  The spider web content of the house made my Drama Queen soar.

Solution:  I switched it to feeling good about all the fun things coming up this week: Fantasy Football, Football, Dinners in Boston, and writing The Bitch Lifestyle Manual.  More importantly, I focused on how good it felt to help my brother.

Cause:  There was a huge spider in my garage that would not go away.  I couldn’t suck it up in my high powered vaccum. It kept building huge webs and it gave me the heebee geebees big time.  I finally got rid of it. 

Solution:  A “spa hour” at home.  Shower, favorite beauty products and a pedicure.

Cause:  Poison Ivy coupled with mosquito bites. 

Solution:  Over the counter remedies and thinking about anything but itching.  Tonight I’m going to a serious Fantasy Football Draft Party.  Whoo hoo!  3 loves:  Football, yummy food and a party.

Cause:  Fear, doubt and venturing into the unknown.  I’m putting the first edition of The Bitch Lifestyle Manual together.  Let me be Drama Queen blunt:  Will everyone hate it and me as a writer? (dramatic sniff)

Solution:  I’m doing it anyway.  And focusing on the goal of spreading fun and play world wide.   I’m going to make mistakes and things won’t be perfect.  But I’m learning and growing through the process. 

So how do you get out of your Drama Queen?  Please share!  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Ever After: Not Your Typical Cinderella Movie

  Image from the fabulous: molls99.xanga.com/…/

One of my favorite movies of all time is “Ever After,” starring Drew Barrymore.  The last time I saw it, I watched with one of my fantastic girlfriends, Suzana.  She was really cute.  I told her it was a Cinderella story and she was adorably skeptical.  What woman wouldn’t be?  Cinderella is a doormat.  Danielle in “Ever After” is nobody’s doormat.

Danielle is fiesty, speaks her mind and goes after what she wants:  saving her home.  Despite whatever roadblocks her jealous Stepmother throws at her.  (Brilliantly performed by Anjelica Huston) The best part of the movie is that Danielle rescues the Prince.  In every imaginable way possible.   All while being chased, that’s right, CHASED by the handsome Prince.  Watch Danielle polish The Prince up.   http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/08/dealing-with-a-man-not-ready-to-date/ You won’t really like Dougray Scott as the Prince at first, but as she works her magic on Prince Henry he gets hotter and hotter.   By the end of the movie, you’ll see The Prince becomes a man.  Thanks to the passions of Danielle.  Oh…and yes.  Girlfriend kicks him in the butt when he needs it too!  Love it!

Rent or buy this movie ASAP.  Watch how Danielle goes for her dreams and how she lets the Prince chase her.  You’ll love it.  My skeptical friend Suzana wanted to buy the movie after it was over.  🙂  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies