The Back Up Plan

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Today at Bitch University we discuss The Back Up Plan.

A Bitch always has one ready.  Essential if you really want something.  A must when dealing with flaky people.

Recently I was so grateful to have a back up plan.  I’m working on a project with a man who is bad at follow-through, flaky as hell and basically hasn’t a clue.  But I have to deal with him. And understand there is one thing he is helping with that I adore!  So I communicate what I like and don’t.  It’s good karma ladies.  Trying to educate clueless guys about what you want calmly takes practice.  I digress.

Mr. Flaky and I had a conversation about this.  His lack of production.   I’m not slitting my wrists waiting for him to produce. (For more see  Let A Man Chase You and Here’s How)  He said he would do something for me.  Of course it fell through last minute.  Of course I had a back up plan.  Of course it got done.  Thanks to a man I can rely on.  We’ll call HIM Mr. Sexy.  I thanked Mr. Sexy and made sure he got credit in front of the whole group.  Including Mr. Flaky.  I’m not mad at Mr. Flaky.  I did not call him out in front of the group.  I gave the person who helped me complete  a very important project kudos.  Mr. Flaky will get credit when he produces.

This all worked because I know who to rely on and who not to.  Know this in your life.  Not only do things get done quicker, but you won’t be spinning your wheels at the last minute doing all the work yourself. I used to drive myself crazy doing this!  Be one step ahead by having a plan B.  Trust is earned.  Mr. Flaky wants certain things from me.  And even though I’m communicating, he’s not earning my trust by acting.  No worries.  I have the fabulous Mr. Sexy.  He gets my attention because he wants to make me smile and feel good.   Looove him!

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Playing With a New Look-Kim Kardashian

  Picture of Kim Kardashian from the fabulous blog glitterBuzzStyle http://www.glitterbuzzstyle.com/2009_08_01_archive.html

Playing with a new look.  When was the last time you did that?  We did it all the time growing up.  We couldn’t wait to try on Mom’s make-up, clothes, shoes and perfume.  Then we grew up.  We get dressed up for special occasions, but putting on make-up and adding a touch of glamour to everyday life can be a chore.  Recently I realized how much fun getting back to this play can be!

This re-awakening took place because of several things.

1.  My best friend Mary Ann does an amazing job applying make up.  She did mine when we had a weekend away.  She gave me a look that I would have never thought of.  Because of that experience, I started to apply the basics when I left the house. 

2.  I started looking forward to playing with my make-up before leaving the house.  Not in a million years did I think I would.  I also started noticing my skin more.  It was looking a little blotchy.  So I started taking better care of my skin.   My skin is so much better now!  I get compliments.  See what a little attention to you can do?

3.  Tonight I was getting ready to go out.  I turned on the tube for entertainment.  I flicked away and came upon Kim Kardashian.  Normally I think this gorgeous woman wears too much make-up.  Today I liked how she looked.  Smokey eyes with a light tan lip gloss.  So I did my make up like hers.  With a lighter touch.  I loved the tan lipgloss more than anything.  I have dark lips and have always gone with berry glosses.  It was a surprising discovery.

So when was the last time you played with your beauty stash, honey?  Why don’t you try it.  Get a magazine and copy a look you love.  Copy your favorite celebrity’s look.  Try Kim Kardashians’s look above.  Make it your own.  What feature is your favorite?  Play it up.  Try ripe lips with glowy skin.  Try an eyeshadow in a kit you thought you would never wear. Put a few tiny spots of glitter at the corner of your eyes.

Bitch it up by going to a fun place and having your favorite cocktail or bite to eat.

Bitch it up further—buy a fun new make-up kit.  Something a little out of your comfort zone.  Ulta has amazing, affordable ones.

In conclusion:  For years I wore next to no make-up.  I would buy a kit and it would just sit in my drawer.  I’m discovering how fun it can be to use these things!   Decorating and adorning your gorgeous face with a splash of color is a way to apply a little love and celebration to you.  Give yourself that little extra time.  Discover, play and enjoy.

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

On Being Blunt

Today at Bitch University we discuss a very important weapon in a Bitches’ arsenal:  Being blunt.

From the Merriam Webster online dictionary:  Blunt: being straight to the point DIRECT.

To be blunt in speech is speaking frankly and getting straight to the point.  Being blunt focuses on the problem and how to solve it.

It also creates trouble.  Trouble that may solve other, unseen issues.

I experienced this trouble today.  I sent out an email to a group of people addressing an organization problem.  I stated exactly what needed to be done.  The men in the group got it and thanked me for it.  Because men speak bluntly and are producers, they did what I asked them to do.  Right away.  A woman in the group freaked out.  Literally.  Lashing out to me.  We’re talking full Drama Queen here, Bitches!  I didn’t take it personally because I was focused on solving the problem.  I was able to do this because:

1.  I get rid of frustration daily with exercise.

2.  I knew that her Drama Queen Brat had a lot of frustration that had nothing to do with me.

I took action by doing the following:  Addressing her in a calm way.   There were reasons why she was frustrated.  I didn’t know them.  They had nothing to do with me.  If we were going to trust each other I could not disrespect her by dismissing her frustration.  And I could learn some valuable information.  Things can only go one of two ways:  Good because she’s reasonable.  Bad because she isn’t.  And aren’t both good?  You either gain someone you can work with or someone you know needs to go.

Things wound up going well because her frustration was purely about something else.   She, on her own, realized that she was out of line, apologized and did what I originally asked of her.  How did I accomplish this? 

1.  Taking care of my own frustation and Drama Queen.  I’m normally patient.   I’ve upped my capacity to deal with things calmly and patiently through kick boxing and other exercise.  God send, ladies!

2.  She sent me multiple emails.  I only answered the ones that addressed what was “on point” (my goal-group organization).  The ones that were whiney, bratty and otherwise accusatory went unanswered.  When I answered her “on point” emails in a calm tone, I let her know that I appreciated her feedback  and answered her questions in a bottom line way.  I knew she was already regretting some of her emails, so I knew by treating her with the uptmost respect, she would feel worse.  Very effective tactic.  And this Whiny Brat needed to be put in her place.  You think I want to deal with Whiny Brat all the time? 

3.  I may have gained an ally in the process.  Jury is still out.  Whiny Brat needs to work on earning my respect.  When you treat people the way you want to be treated, even when they may be a pain in the ***, that patience will serve you in the long run.  Respect is earned.  So is disrespect.  More here:  Cowardice and The Bitch http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/07/cowardice-and-the-bitch/

So in conclusion, I’m thrilled this person freaked out on me.  LOL.  Even thought I had some Monday Morning Drama, it was resolved.  And it gave us something to learn from.  Has this ever happened to you?  How do you take care of yourself so you remain calm when the **** hits the Monday Morning fan?  Would love to hear so we can all try!

Love, Goddess

Courage

 

Courage is going for what you want.  While those who live in fear say “it can’t be done.”

Courage is embracing who you are.  It will be the warm hug when you’re low.

Courage is letting someone give to you.  Which is letting someone love you.

Courage is not having regrets.  It’s having learned something.

Courage is refusing to be a doormat.  It means you’re a strong, confident, sassy woman. THE definition of a Bitch.

Courage is correcting someone when they call your privates “Junk.”  Kesha:  “My glorious feminine core is one hot shiny sexy diamond!”

Courage is saying  Hell No!  to anything that mutilates a woman and her feminine core.  Anything that removes or alters her hot, shiny, sexy diamond.

Courage is smiling sassily and saying “Thank You…” when someone calls you a Bitch.

Courage is letting more women know about our hot, sassy, world changing secrets.

Courage is knowing when your Drama Queen is running wild.  And knowing how to tame her.

Courage is telling a man exactly what you want.  How, when and where.

Courage is giving birth.

Courage is staying true to yourself when dating or in a relationship.  If you give up your “things” for a man, you’re giving up YOU.

Courage is calling someone else on their crap.   And listening when someone who loves you calls you on YOURS.

Courage is loving yourself.  Every delicious, sassy, naughty ounce of you.

Courage requires some work.  Work that leads you on a journey of discovery, happiness and oh so much more!

Courage is … us, Bitches!

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies