If A Man Wants To Borrow Money
Sassy Anne Taintor pic from the web site Boston Not Common: http://www.bostonnotcommon.com/langiappe/
If a man wants to borrow money from you, ladies, I have a one word answer for it.
RUN!!
Period.
I get so many emails from females that are having problems with guys asking them for money. Some have only known these dudes for a few weeks! Whenever I ask one of my guy friends about this, they say, “Don’t do it. Don’t lend a guy money that you’re dating. Or who is a boyfriend. That’s not cool.”
Why? This is what the good men know:
A man will not ask a woman he truly likes for cash. The man you want takes care of himself and looks for ways to take care of you. I don’t care what the reason is. He needs this, he needs that. He wants to buy a car. He tells you he’ll make it a loan. Don’t fall for it. He will not pay you back. Contract or no. Want to see some proof of this? Watch a court show on TV.
And a lot of women take advantage of men this way too! He’ll take her out to dinner and then when they are on errands she talks about what she “needs.” Does she whip out her cash? No. She’s waiting for him to take the bait. And the nice guys will. She’ll use him then dump him. When he could have been with:
The Bitch. The Bitch takes care of herself. She wants the man who can take care of himself. That’s what grown-ups do. Take care of their lives. They don’t expect anyone else to do it for them. So in conclusion:
- If you are dating a guy and he asks for money? RUN.
- If your boyfriend asks you to borrow money: RUN.
- If a guy friend of yours asks to borrow money: RUN.
- If guy friend asks you to do financial stuff for him: Mommy or Sexy Bitch http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/08/empowered-dating-mommy-or-strong-sexy-bitch/ RUN.
Run TO the man who is responsible. The man who takes care of himself and looks for ways to take care of you. And I’m not talking only money here! Run to the man of action: He doesn’t “say” he’s going to do something. He does it. The man who opens doors for you, gives you warm hugs, fixes things for you and is interested in your life. Let me know what you think. 
Love, Goddess
Are you going through this problem in real life? I have the course and the tools to help you attract the men who wants to worship you…not use you as a bank! http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/07/your-re-awakening/
This post is dedicated to my brother Gary who is very adament about the subject.
Instead of giving it to him-give to yourself and increase your net worth, beauty!
The Wall Street Journal Guide to Money and Investing
© S Stevens Life Strategies
uhm, agree. I’ve made that mistake and learned it in a hard way with my ex. Stupid, but I was in love.
And just finished dating with a guy who talks more than he acts (good that I’m done with him anyway). He is rich, good looking (a hot body!), a pretty good cook and a ‘trying to clean up’ guy who said ‘I’m a different person now that I’ve met you’ bullshit. Gave me his keys to his place when he went away for three weeks(a very trusting action), and his water got cut off in the second week cause the water bill wasn’t settled (which was about US$50), so I did that for him so he would have water back on when he comes back(and I was staying there for a bit while he was away). When he came back, he thanked me and said he will pay me back but never did.
I trust not that the US$50 is alot to him, cause he makes more than 200 times than that amount of money anyway. But he just doesn’t care about other things except making more money and partying till morning a few days a week – yikes! I had enough of that ‘ready to settle down’ bullshit! (Sorry, whenever this is brought up, I still got a bit frustrated…)
Elisa Honey,
This rocked! I think you should turn on your favorite song and dance your booty off
to your brilliance. This guy did not please you and you freed yourself.
Go you!! Love, Goddess
Thanks. I reckon so, I freed myself. Later I got news from someone that this guy said he knows I’m a very nice girl but he has problems… well then, be with the problems as he wishes, that’s his life, that’s his choice. And I already went onto a nice date with a new guy, so much fun! I’m better off now definitely.
Yes, Elisa honey! You’ve got it. Hugs, Goddess
I love your dedication to Gary! RUNNNNNNN if a man wants to borrow money , um you need to kick his butt out the door, buh bye!
Yes, Gary, God of Sarcasm is quite smart. Love, Goddess
Thank you SIS
You’re welcome!
What if they talk about not having money alot?
If it’s a young man, they probably don’t have a lot of money yet. Which is fairly normal. Men want to create security first in their lives so they can take care and provide for someone they love later. In order to become a man they need to do this for themselves. It’s their problem. Women who give them money aren’t letting them grow into a man. A man who asks for money from a woman is too immature or scared to “man up” and do it on his own. That’s why a woman should run from this kind of man.
This is a wakeup call for me!thanks heaps been in relationship for 5 years and constantly he asks me for money for his business and that he would pay back,thousands of dollars later, didn’t happen now did it ???? would go out to dinner and he would stand back to let me pay or conveniently forget his wallet.I had a go at him for being a tightarse and he turned into a huge fight and went cryin to mamma and told me this in SMS “Good work sabaraege the rest go hard I raised my family from nothing to some thing I work hard to pay the bills travel 5000 km to get job i am doing the best that I can fuck u mate fuck me over” and “U will get yours mate” and” Weak as shit grow up your nothing special anyway”and”go sit on shelf find what u want stop fucking with me”and “U are far too mean there is no love”last SMS “U are far too mean there is no love go away rach” so ladies don’t let him bludge off u cause in the end he won’t appreciate it anyway let him grow a set of balls and pay his own way!
I was talking to a child hood friend/crush who moved and lives 10 hours away…he asked to borrow $400 because his car was in the shop. Well me being the “nice girl” that I am & knowing he didn’t have any family to help him, I let him borrow it. He said he’d pay me back in a few weeks…only paid half of it back and said he wanted to save the other $200 for a trip to come see me a a week. He DID come see me when he said he would and we had a great time together. He is moving home(here)actually in a few weeks and said he would like nothing more than to date me. Everything about him is everything I’ve ever wanted and he makes me feel very special, & brings out the absolute best in me. However, in the back of my mind, I still think about him asking me to borrow money and not paying me back in full…kinda confused? I do NOT want to put myself in a situation that I’m going to regret later on. Any advice?
Hi Confused…
You’re right to be confused. By agreeing to spend the $200 on coming to see you, you have forfeited that part of the money-in his mind-IF you agreed.
Why don’t you tell him to pay the money back to you first and then see what happens as far as dating? Then he will show you whether he has integrity or not.
You deserve nothing less. Make sense? Love, Goddess
This can also create a man being dependent on you financially and that’s not a good look!
Yes, Milah…you’ve got it. Who wants to be someones’ “Mummie”? I don’t. Love, Goddess
this dude I was seeing asked me to borrow 50 bucks to get his plates or title for his car. After I practically laughed in his face i told him hell naw! U got a job by your own damn title! I aint your girlfriend! He said you are my girlfriend! I said what!? when did we establish this?!? Then he says he dont sleep with nobody else but me. I told him whatever u must have forgot how many times u told me that u have alot of women nevertheless the answer is still NO you a grown a** man get your on shhh!!! Or go ask one of your other lady friends for money! Then he hung up on me! lmao!!! Jerk! So i tell u this ladies dont lend no man money a real man makes his own and dont have to depend on a woman for shhhh!!!!!!!! Only broke worthless womanizing bums ask women for money! Kick they broke a**ses to the curb like i did him and laugh in his face! (*_*)
Yes! Love it Lady! xoxo Love, Goddess
Within a year. I dumped 3 guys coz they think im their bank.. Yup im a banker.. But im not own da bank. What s wrong with da guys nowaday ?????
Hi Darlene,
Go you for kicking these guys to the curb! Unfortunately, a lot of women do not understand that they have so much power over men. So they let men run all over them. Not here. Welcome
to the Bitch Rebellion! Love, Goddess
What if he says, a family member got hospitalized and that the bill went skyrocket to more than 3000$, would you believe that? would you loan him? would you make an exemption and lend him them money? im uncomfortable but guilty. im torn apart. i want to loan him for humanity’s sake. but i feel bad about myself and for him. i dont want to loan him to save him and myself for future discomfort and embarassment. 2nd date. no gf/bf relationship. just date. what do you say?
NO! Do not lend this guy you barely know ANY money. RUN! He is playing on your “niceness.” Tell him you hope things get better for him, wish him well then MOVE ON! Seriously. Do not engage him anymore and delete all contact info. Period. End of his story.
the right thing to do was: meet him first and plan after be engaged in real life! I know all this but i was trying believing in good!
Mary, you are a beautiful, intelligent and sassy woman. You deserve a man who wants to provide, protect and be there for you. Let this guy find his money somewhere else and open your heart ONLY to the man
who wants you for you. Join our Facebook page and surround yourself with fun women who will be your cheerleaders for this! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841 Love, Goddess
Thanks for telling me to run. this guy who am dating always want me to lend him money. I never lend him a penny. He claim he is a business man but am puzzle why he always asking for a loan. Hemade because i didnot lend him the money and told me to go hell.
I am so proud of you, Nakeshia! Go you for running…and welcome to our Sassy Bitch Rebellion. Love, Goddess
Thanks for the advice.I had a similar experience,I had known by bf for about 6months. he said he is well off and all. I found him as a lazy bum.He said he was earning a lot of money but I don’t trust him now,meanwhile he sold his car and got a big amount.he wanted to buy another car and for that he needed some more money.I am financially independent and never ever asked him a penny.at that time we had a real fight when he asked his friend who is a female to loan him cash.then he came back and said he had stopped all those plans and we were again happy for 3more months.now before a week he again asked me lend him my hardly earned money which I had myself kept for some emergencies and I said no way since I have some very important plans, at once he disconnected the phone and pulled me out from all his contacts in fb,gmail and all those stuff he blocked me.I am very happy now to know that he never ever loved me and I wasn’t fooled around Nd I was saved from such a bloody relationship.I really wish him best of luck to go to hell…:)
I’m soooo happy you saw through his bs. GO YOU!!! Love, Goddess
Well me and this guy have started a relationship and we have talked about having sex and so on and he is saying I have to buy the condoms and stuff and I was really shocked. Now he is asking me for money and I asked him for what and he jus tells me I need money. For some reason I tink he is trying to take advantage of me. Also, he is always asking me to put minutes in his phone. I did it before out of kindness but then it started getting too constant. What do I do?
Babyangel: RUN!
I just asked my fiance for some money because my Dad is in jail and I live in the middle east where its very difficult to get justice. My Dad was framed by his company and put in jail because they didn’t want to pay my Dad’s gratuity when he leaves the company.
My mum doesn’t have a job. I told my fiance that I will give her a post dated cheque as guarantee if she gives me the money.
She pointed me to this article. I am 23 and I don’t have that kind of money to release my Dad from jail. I borrowed from my Dad’s friend the most and I needed a little bit of money more which my Dad will pay my fiance back when he is out of jail.
She pointed me to this article and she think I am like this article says and thats totally not true about me
Lending a man money is not healthy. Two people who really want to be together, should start with a proper foundation, “getting to know each other” for however long. Do small things for one another. A man who borrows money, makes you wonder if he’s capable of taking care of you. A man should be a provider, but it is a bonus if both parties make their own money. There is nothing more sexy than being proud of your partner for his hard work, without hesitations.
Love the way you think, Fancy! “There is nothing more sexy than being proud of your partner for his hard work, without hesitations.” That’s what we all want, yet it is surprising how few of us
actually do the action needed for that, huh? Love, Goddess
Hi Chris,
Sounds like you’re in a really bad situation out there. I’m sorry to hear that. This is a very complicated question to answer in this venue. I haven’t heard her side of the story either.
Let me ask you this: Outside of this scenario that you have described to me, have you shown by your actions that you are the man who wants to take care of her? And does she take care of you like a man should be? Relationships go both ways. You’re a smart and resourceful man. I have no doubt you will find the way to help your Dad. I’d love to hear you tell me about your victory in dealing with this difficult issue! Love, Goddess
I foolishly became involved with the biggest mooch, loser EVER, over 20years ago, while getting divorced from another loser, mooch. What really bothers me the most, is that my so-called “friend” at the time, had encouraged me to become involved with both of these greedy pigs (accusing ME of being too “materialistic”–yeah right, at least *I* WORKED for my money) and looking back, I think it was mostly due to her jealousy and desire to see me penniless and humiliated–maybe it helped her to feel superior, who knows. In both instances, I ignored my “gut instinct” about these jerks and lo and behold–just like I thought, they were BOTH after my money, and believe me it wasn’t ALL that much either. The 2nd jerk even taught his nasty brat sons to use me. The older one had admitted to me, after I broke up with his father that he was encouraged to dress in raggedy looking clothes/shoes, so that I would take pity (which I did) and buy both the creep and his ungrateful, nasty, rude kids stuff. I think what bothers me the most, is that the swine of a “BOY-friend” actually earned $200 a wk more than I did and lived rent-free in a house his dad owned, yet had nothing to show for all the 20yrs he had worked–not even a used car paid for and maybe all of $4,000 in a 401k. Total loser. Of course he blamed it on his fat, lazy, stay-at-home mom of a cheating ex-wife, that squandered his paycheck on stupid diets, gym memberships, clothes, her hair and nails (such a “priority” since she hadn’t worked for 15yrs), booze, etc. I guess it was his way of getting back at ALL women–by stealing from, making a fool of, and blatantly using me. And my own fault for being so stupid, trusting and depressed that I even gave him the time of day. Now, years later, I am permanently disabled and unable to work any more, so I can’t even earn back what that filthy slob/”born again Christian” (no less) stole from me. Not to mention the fact that I am so jaded any more after that experience that I have no desire to even be in a relationship. THAT’S the risk you take ladies, when getting involved with trash, whose only goal is to bring you down…
Ok, I met this guy, who is getting divorced and we have been talking for a little while now.. So, anyway, My job just cut me back on hours so everyone knows im struggling, however, I am still holing my own… He flat out tells me ” your in need, so I want you to use me, take my money, use my debit card, use me” and he like friggin gets off on this… and wants me to act like this to him…. Please tell me, is this normal.. are there really some men who like to be used??? its so strainge
Hi Debra, I’m so sorry that you went through so much with this guy! But I’m also happy that you saw the truth and moved on. Don’t let your anger keep you from embracing a wonderful man! When you’re ready to do that, take my course “Re-Awakening” it has tools that will help you let go of the “jaded” and start to open up again. Here is the link: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/07/your-re-awakening/ Love, Goddess
Hi Liz. I’m sorry that you have been struggling! It really is a hard thing to adjust to and still hold your own. Go you! I think, however that you may be looking at this the wrong way. Part of that is because you are taking charge and making sure to take care of YOU. Try to look at the amazing part of this…how lucky you are! Here you have a man who wants to do ANYTHING for you to make your life easier. He wants to give give give to you. Pretty amazing. Why don’t you try a little gratitude with him. Say something like this: Use his name and then “this is so amazing and thoughtful of you to want to help me like this. I really appreciate it. I’m so used to taking care of myself and this situation has thrown me for a loop. Let me think about how you can help me and then I will share with you.” Then do it! Make a list. This can be very simple.
1. I would love it if you took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant.
2. Let him take you to the grocery store but then cook him dinner to say thank you.
The point is, keep it simple. It is too much (it sounds like) for you to take his debit card and cash. Understandable. Keep it simple and find ways that would help you. Let him be a man for you. How does that sound? Love, Goddess
Hi Goddess,
Thank you for your spreading the word in a healthy way. Although it may be common sense all over the blackboard to some, others completely miss this lesson altogether. While I believe there are extremely rare exceptions to loaning out money, they are exactly that – rare exceptions (Disclaimer: if you’re on this page you aren’t an exception… seriously…. AND RUN!!).
I speak from experience on the receiving end of this scenario and from loving others (both genders) on the receiving end… There can be different types of people asking for money out there and different reasons why. Here are the main reasons I’ve heard (from what I consider to be the the most manipulative type): DIVORCE(S), transitioning/changing job/career, bankruptcy, health issues (themselves, past spouse, parent), etc. On the surface, some of the reasons you’ll hear will be “good” reasons – but when you dig a little deeper – you’ll see the bigger picture. For example, they’re driving a new car, bought a diamond ring during the “bankruptcy”, rent a home that’s completely not conducive to paying off debt, AND they have $ for their hobbies and travel. LOOK and TAKE NOTES – These financial problems are generally coupled with larger issues, big spending/unaffordable habits, credit card debt, student loans, and rarely (if any) savings. They MAY have at one point in their lives HAD money, but it’s the past, but they’re still talking about it.
Life happens – things happen – does someone pick you up and do your financial plan FOR YOU?! No. Does someone make you eat healthy, go to the gym, show up for your job for you? No. So, quit picking up someone elses bills, planning someone elses life. Love yourself – love the life that you can give to someone worthy enough to respect you (themselves), your (their) money, and a future together!!!
Beautifully said, FurryMom! Wise words from a Sassy Woman…Love, Goddess