*** To love is an act.  We all want love, right?  Right.

Here’s my question:  Are we acting the part?

There are a million ways to love.  And a million ways not.  A million ways to seem like we’re doing it, and a million ways to go through the motions.

In order to love we have to make a concerted effort every day to put it out there.  Then we can see who is giving it back and who isn’t returning it.  This is beyond scary.  We may meet a Faux Girlfriend who sucks up our energy and time. Or a man that makes us weak in the knees who sucks up our energy and time.   Or various other “love suckers.”  Love suckers make us scared, wary and otherwise close us up to love and go through the motions, so to speak.  That’s when you need to pick up your sledge hammer and whack away.  Or, know when it’s okay to sit back and take a break.  Love yourself by taking care of you, regain your sass and get back in the love game.  Here are ways to do both, send out the love and love yourself when you are feeling vulnerable and scared after being hurt.


Ways to send out the Love:

  1. Volunteer.
  2. Go to a pet store and love a puppy or kitten for a few minutes.
  3. Open doors for people.  Old, young, Moms with kids.  Enjoy how your action makes them feel good.
  4. Open doors for men with a sassy smile.  LET them return the favor.  Believe me, they’ll want to.
  5. Compliment someone on something.  A nice suit, a gorgeous pin.  Find the beauty in each person you meet.
  6. Buy someone coffee while in line at the Coffee Shop.
  7. Send a little gift to someone you love.  Anonymously.
  8. Send cards to friends-real handwritten ones on why you love them.  Do one a day.
  9. Spend a few minutes everyday connecting with someone you love.  A phone call or lovely voice mail would be really thoughtful.
  10. Give the people you care about a warm, loving hug when you see them.

Here are ways to take care of yourself after being hurt by a Faux Girlfriend, a romantic break-up or anything else that may close your heart.  Don’t put a time limit on this.  The point is making YOU feel good again.  It’s personal so don’t feel as though you have to rush!

  1. Spa night.  Take your time and love yourself!  Use all the senses.  Treat yourself like the treasure you are and others will treasure YOU.
  2. Throw a “Worry Party,” “Pity Party” or “Woe is Me Party.”  Give it a fun, pitiful name.  Invite your girlfriends, serve dark food and beverages, dress in your ugliest outfits, play the most pitiful music possible.  Start off with Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” and work up to shaking your booty off to “Celebrate,” by Kool and the Gang.  Play, play, play!
  3. Get your favorite movies, some wonderful wine, cheese, fruit and chocolate and have a movie fest.  Enjoy being with YOU.  Solo.  No guilt.  Unless you need a guilt party. 😉
  4. Kick box, or yoga or long walks.  Get physical to get rid of that edgy energy the negative people have given you.  Can be very important to healing.
  5. Make plans with your closest friends.  Tell them you want to lay low for a bit.  Order in, watch movies, play cards.  Laugh and enjoy those you KNOW truly love you.
  6. Write about it.  Like exercising, this can be a wonderful way to dissipate the negative energy.

The past is in the past.  Heal so you can open up again.  One of my favorite quotes is, if you can’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone to love you?  This is the most important part.  Because the more confident and loving we are to ourselves, the better we are at taking care of ourselves when “Love Suckers” try to suck up our energy and time.  We trust ourselves to make better choices.  When we do make our choices its because someone or something has proven worthy of our love and trust.  These are the people we would do anything for.  They should get our loving attention.  Love, Goddess

***Pink love image from Flickr:


© S Stevens Life Strategies

Like a Kid Again!

Demon Roller Coaster from the cool web site Coasterpedia:

Like a Kid Again!

And summer is just the time to do it!  Get in touch with your fun, silly, playful, creative self.  That little kid in you is dying to come out and play.

  1. When was the last time you went to an amusement park?  Do it!  Ride all the roller coasters, bumper cars, eat cotton candy, try to win a huge stuffed animal!
  2. Go to an arcade and play all those games you used to growing up.  I used to LOVE skee ball.  Play pin ball, air hockey, Centipede.  Just for fun, give all the tickets you win to a little kid.  Watch his or her face light up!
  3. If you have one of those race car places near you, go race a car.  As fast as you can!
  4. Go to one of those boardwalks on the beach.  Complete with the huge ferris wheel and crazy side shows.
  5. Slip and slide!  Have a slip and slide party!  Play 70s or 80s music, spike the cool aid, play frisbee, etc.
  6. Go to an outdoor rock band concert.  They have these cool all day festival events during the summer.
  7. Go to a baseball game.  Eat hot dogs, dress in your favorite teams’ logo outfits.
  8. Go to the beach, watch fireworks and make S’mores.
  9. Find a lake or pond.  Bring a whole bunch of friends.  A grill.  Potluck it.  Water ski, jet ski, swim, play water polo.  Play your *** off!
  10. Bitch up #9 by making it an overnight camping trip.  Tell creepy ghost stories.  Scare the you know what out of each other deep in the night.
  11. Your ideas here!!

Love and a big playful hug, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Josephine Baker

Glowing picture of Josephine Baker from The Fabulous Birthday Blog:

“A violinist had a violin, a painter his palette.  All I had was myself.  I was the instrument that I must care for.”  Josephine Baker

Josephine Baker knew how to accentuate her exotic-ness.  She developed herself into “unforgettable.”  She did this by loving what she had, a killer sense of humor and found what was special about her and developed it:

“Beautiful?  It’s all a question of luck.  I was born with good legs.  As for the rest…beautiful, no.  Amusing, yes.”

What can we learn from the fabulous Ms. Baker?  How to make the most of what we have and REVEL in it.  How to make an undeniable impression.  Here are some of the methods she may have employed:

  1. What is your favorite body part?  Own it like Josephine owned and danced her way through Paris on her glorious legs.
  2. Develop a killer sense of humor about yourself.  Or a charming self-deprecating humor.  Find a healthy sense of humor about you and life.  It’ll help keep you sane when you hit the crazy train!
  3. Develop that talent that people love and compliment you on.  Or find your talent/passion and relish it.  Think Nigella Lawson’s love of food and the soft, seductive manner she uses to seduce you into trying her delicious recipes.
  4. The next time you go to a party, restaurant, etc.  Plan your entrance.  The outfit, the make up.  Relish making that entrance.
  5. Charisma and je ne sais quoi comes from something deep within.  Something that is “off the norm.”  Something that people don’t usually see.  What is it about you that is deliciously different?  Work it, honey! 😉
  6. Think of stars and their outrageous wardrobes.  Dolly Parton, Cher, Elle Woods’ penchant for anything pink, Gwen Stefani’s platinum blond hair and red lipstick.  Notice how Jennifer Lopez embraces her va va voom.  Find whatever your beauty trade mark/love is and work it.  Play with it.  I have huge eyes.  That’s how I’ve started developing my Kim Kardashian eye look:
  7. Embrace your imperfections.  Sass it up by flaunting them.  Decorate birthmarks with sparkle dust, out of control hair with accessories, work that curvy body by studying how celebrities like Salma Hayek, Marilyn Monroe, Beyonce, Kate Winslet, Scarlett Johansson adorn and love theirs.

Josephine looks so gorgeous in this picture because she did the work:  She was her own Cinderella story by developing herself, her beauty and her passions into the life she desired.  That’s how she got her nick name “A Parisian Sensation.”  Why not try adding a little Parisian Sensation in your life?  How would you do that?  Explore and play, beautiful!  Love, Goddess

Now on Amazon: More men, more amazing women, more fun:  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Carol Burnett Brilliant Inspiration for Women

carol burnett, inspiring women carol burnett, inspiring quotes,
Gorgeous image of Carol burnett from Indiana Public Media 

Carol Burnett-one of the most brilliant entertainers ever!

I loved watching reruns of her show when I was growing up.  This woman had her own variety show on television that ran for 11 years!  I loved watching her play different characters.  Old ladies, young ladies, crazy ladies, movie stars.  Her supporting cast was stellar:  Tim Conway, Harvey Korman, Vicki Lawrence and Lyle Waggoner.

From the All Things Carol Burnett web site: 

She has received 6 Emmy Awards, 5 Golden Globe Awards and numerous people choice awards.  She received a Kennedy Center Honor in 2003 and has written 2 best selling books about her life.  Carol attended UCLA before heading to New York.  It was a rough beginning as jobs were tough until Carol staged her own musical revue, featuring her out-of-work roommates from a theatrical boarding house performing material by unemployed writers and composers.

That’s going for it her way, hotties!  And that’s when things started turning in her favor.  She was asked to guest on TVs “The Garry Moore Show.”  This led to marriage and her own TV series. Talented, driven, professional.  Not afraid to ruffle feathers.  You know how I say, if you haven’t been scaring anyone, sass it up Bitch?  During the run of The Carol Burnett show, one of her famous co-stars, Harvey Korman, was rude to guest Petula Clark.  This was not acceptable to Carol.  Here’s a link to an interview with Carol about what happened: Access Hollywood True Story

What I want you to notice is how Carol calls him on it politely, acknowledges his problem, tells him what she wants and then sits back and watches his actions.  She doesn’t expect an apology, she expects action.  Notice the point where Harvey “back tracks.”  That’s a man admitting he’s wrong.  Also notice how much he loved being called on his crap by a woman he respects.  Harvey was a very important part of the show, but our lovely, sassy Carol would not tolerate disrespect.  Girl knows her power and how to talk to a man.

When you have a moment, or whenever you need a laugh, please check out these wonderful You Tubes of the brilliant Carol Burnett Show.  Here’s a link to a good one:  “No Frills Airline.” 

Here’s to you Amazing Carol!  Love, Goddess

For more inspiration:

  1. Choice, Compromise and the Drama Queen
  2. Confidence:  Signs You’re a Sassy Bitch
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies