Impossible Standards For Men

Picture of Russell Crowe from The Humor District web site:

Does this cowboy make you think, “Yeah…he has a virility problem?” 

Impossible standards are thrust upon women in society daily.  The perfect body, the perfect Mom, the perfect Career Woman, the perfect homemaker.  How you should and shouldn’t do things.  Blah blah blah, right?  Because of this web site and our building Bitch Rebellion, I am hyper-aware of all these impossible standards thrown at us.  Today I was struck dumb (not easy in my pre-coffee state) of how this is done to MEN as well.

I’m preparing breakfast and turn on the TV.  One of those commercials on a drug to help male “virility” is playing.  I’m only sort of half aware, coffee on my brain.  I look up after a few moments and was blown away by the young, drop dead handsome male they showed on the screen.  To top it all off, the commercial used the ultimate American symbol of masculinity:  The Cowboy.  All tanned glory and going about his highly physical activities.  The first thing I thought was “Wow…he is way too young and virile to need the virility drug.  Or to be worried about his virility.  Then I stopped thinking about it because I was, again, in a pre-morning coffee fog.

Later, after the coffee kicked in, after I put out a few fires and organized the day, I thought about that commercial.  You could look at it and say, okay.  Even the most masculine men can need some help.  These drugs and the companies behind them fulfill a need:  Helping men who need it perform sexually. When men can feel good and perform in this way both of us-men and women, benefit.  Yes to that!

What disturbed me with the marketing behind the commercial:

  1. The marketing to younger men.
  2. The FEAR this company was marketing.

The commercial preys on a mans’ fear.  He is competing with a next to impossible standard to measure up and perform to.  Dude:  You’re a stud.  You’ll conquer the West and the woman just by taking this little pill.  It’s like if I put Giselle one of those degrading “douche” commercials.  Douche daily gals and you will be the ultimate beauty and smell so fresh and clean, just like Giselle.  Don’t get me started on that one.

I’ll never forget what Dr. Christiane Northrup said during a speech she made.  She said that the Women’s Fertility Industry is full of wonderful doctors, nurses and professionals.  But it makes its money based on woman’s fear: that they won’t be able to have children.  She did an internship at a Catholic Hospital and said “You couldn’t stop those 48 plus year old women from getting pregnant.”  How many times have you heard the story of a woman who stopped trying to get pregnant and that’s when she gets pregnant?

This is the bottom line.  Beware of the impossible standards thrust upon all of us, including men.  We have enough to think about in our daily lives.  We don’t need commercials, politicians, or fashion magazines “fearing” us into doing something.

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Suggested Reading:

  1. Outsmart Backstabbers!
  2. Validation
  3. Adversity
  4. Bitch Lifestyle Home


Your Celebration Song

Pink Celebration by *EmmaLoffler

What song do you have to celebrate success?  To inspire you, motivate you when you’re down and to really shake your ass to when you’ve made it?!  If you don’t have one, isn’t it about time?  😉  Take the time to celebrate you and what you accomplish.  Be grateful!  No shame hottie!  And to those who are jealous, mock your success or otherwise make you feel bad for achieving?  We all know what that is, right?  They are trying to take away our luscious, hot power.  Their fear is keeping them back and they can’t see how their own issues are holding them back.  Don’t make their problem your problem.  Throw them a warm, sassy smile and sincerely wish them wonderful success too.  They can’t take our power because we are bringing Sassy back:

Here are some ideas and links to get those celebratory juices flowing:

  1. The Theme from Rocky
  2. We Are The Champions, Queen
  3. Get The Party Started, Pink
  4. Fergalicious, Fergie
  5. Hot!! Hot!! Hot!!  Cure
  6. Let’s Go Crazy, Prince
  7. Dancing in the Streets, Van Halen
  8. Gonna Make You Sweat, C & C Music Factory
  9. It’s Raining Men, The Weather Girls
  10. Eye of the Tiger, Survivor

Love and a big booty shakin’ whoo hoo to our next celebration!


© S Stevens Life Strategies

The Crazy Train

The Crazy Train. ***

I was on it Sunday.  Do you know when you’re on yours?  Do you know how to go with the flow when wants, goals, dreams and pleasures are hitting you from all directions?  It’s hard to be this aware, fully awake and alive.  It takes practice and being SO in your Bitch and SO confident that as the train goes faster, so do you.  Effortlessly.  It’s being one with the fur flying.  Before the story…here’s a recap on helping you be SO in your Bitch.  Get yourself into Bitch University, reread these articles and the process.  Then we can move on to the next crucial step:  Awareness.

  1. Acknowledging messy emotions like Fear, Anger, Doubt and Worry help show you what you want:  Fear is a Future Emotion: Worry Just Kills Delicious: Anger IS Scary If You Let It Be
  2. Practice getting rid of this messy energy by getting physical.  Then listen to what your Bitch says after you’ve gotten rid of the messy energy noise.
  3. Practice Communicating in a charming, bottom line kind of way.  On Being Blunt:
  4. Celebrate your Brat when she’s trying to bring you down “You Had a Bad Day,” or really kick her to the curb with Justin Timberlake’s SexyBack:
  5. STOP with the Expectations.  This will come sort of naturally once you take care of that ANGER:  No Expectations, Please:
  6. Is an important piece to this puzzle.  I’ll share in a moment.  This is one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to learn how to do.  But it’s where you find the most delicious fruit for your labors.  Where you find your desires coming true!  And if you don’t do this you may miss it.

Back to Sunday.  I was on my way to Boston and not happy.  Nothing was going right. I had no time to kick box.  I was feeling guilty because I was having a hard time fitting in a girlfriend who needed me.  I got in the car and I knew I was in for it when “Crazy Train,” by Ozzy Ozbourne was on.  I’d change the channel and it would be playing on that one, too!  All I could do was go with the flow.  As crazy as the day was, beautiful, long term desires were right in front of me.  I abhor rehearsing on Sundays, but…my improv group is going so well.  Every desire I’ve had is rushing toward me.  It’s SO good.  And chaotic.  Let me titillate you with a question here:  How do you know you are in your Bitch in utter chaos?

After rehearsal more road blocks were put up before me.  I wasn’t in the mood to pick up my sledgehammer and whack away.  I did anyway.  Whack whack whack.  Every roadblock was me resisting my wants, goals, dreams and pleasures.  Crazy how we do that, huh?  Do you do that?  I was resisting a really big pleasure.  A gorgeous, fun hot sexy man that I’d met.  Remember the post from last week?  Resisting Passion: I got those Alice Ozy touches and kisses that set my body on fire.   He was giving me a massage and said: “I can feel the heat coming off your body.”  That’s when I knew I was fully in my Bitch.  The heat coming off my body.

6.  When you have an amazing, crazy day with desires, wants, dreams and pleasures coming to fruition, STOP everything.  Make the time to process it all.  So you don’t miss one delicious drop and can be GRATEFUL.  If you don’t take this time, you may miss things that really turn you on.  You may miss what you DON’T like.  If you miss what you don’t like, you may make the same mistakes over and over.   You’re researching delicious you, remember.  This is like your term paper!

I took a long walk at the beach the next day to process.  It was cool realizing I was a fully confident Bitch in the chaos.  It was the HEAT comment my sexy man made that did it.  Years ago I met this amazing, charismatic woman.  She’s like light to moths.  She’s so confident and turned on that you can feel the heat coming from her body if you stand near her.  (sassy smile)  I wanted that.  And I’ve been getting it.  First in everyday calm life:  A girlfriend was standing next to me.  She looked a little distracted as we were talking.  Then she said,  “You must be doing well.  I can feel the heat coming off you.”  And then on Sunday I had that passionate heat going on during the Crazy Train experience.  So awesome!  And I want that for all of you.

THAT was a lot.  A lot for you to practice, sink your teeth into and party with.  So get to your party and find your heat!!!  Love, Goddess

***Picture of Hello Kitty Train from Ken Wooi web site:


© S Stevens Life Strategies

Reawaken Passion!


“She took possession of a man if she touched him with her fingers.”  This, of course, would lead to rapture—the tips of her fingers—fully sensate and aware, taking you in and touching you as if her fingers had never touched before, so that you yourself begin to experience touch as something entirely new.  From The Book of the Courtesans by Susan Griffin

Wow, huh?  The Courtesan Alice Ozy sure knew how to touch.  What passion!  It made me start thinking about passion in my life.  I have many different passions.  Sometimes, though, these passions take up so much time that I don’t fully feel them.  I’m too busy.  So slowly, over time, I take less time to touch, taste, feel, hear.  And my lively passion seems to dim a bit.

Then I read that small passage about the power of touch.  The pleasure it can bring up and my passion reawakens.  How the Courtesan took her passion-and the man through touch.  She was relishing the moment and he was the lucky benefactor.  So let’s relish a bit today…reawaken our precious passion!

  1. Slowly caress your skin.  Notice how soft the skin is on front of your arms.  Don’t be afraid to touch any part of your body.  Enjoy the softness of your skin.
  2. When you brush your hair, slow way down.  Notice the texture, the shine, how it moves and smells.
  3. The next time you are outside, pick a blade of grass.  Swipe it slowly across your nose.  Does it tickle?  Brush it against your skin.
  4. The next time you pet an animal, really enjoy it.  The softness, the difference between the fur on its back and tummy.
  5. You’ll need help with this one 🙂  Find the most ticklish spot on you and your mate.  What are the tickles that make you giggle STOP!?  The ones that make you go ooooohhhh….”
  6. Your clothes:  What materials feel the best to you against your skin?
  7. Dine with your fingers.
  8. Take your shoes off and walk in the grass, the sand, the pavement.
  9. Skinny dip and notice how wonderful the water feels caressing your skin.

I think that’s a good way to end it!  Please share your “Reawaken Passion” touch ideas here:

Love, Goddess

***Gorgeous manicure and pedicure from Lydian Flash, Master Nail Technician

© S Stevens Life Strategies