Greed Meets Sass

 Gorgeous creative design ideas from Whorerange: http://www.whorange.net/whorange/2008/11/sugar-addiction-friday-the-pink-candy-bar.html

Greed Meets Sass.

It was crazy.  I turned into a Greedy Little Brat over something I didn’t even want!  What was up with that?  And more importantly, what was it I was LACKING that turned me into a Greedy Little Brat?

I was one very lucky Bitch yesterday.  I have a friend who has access to luxury suite tickets at Yankee Stadium.  I got to go yesterday.  Thank you thank you thank you!!!!  Everything you could possibly want is included.  The food and service is incredible!  On the way out to your seats, there is this huge wall of concessions that you can take to your seats.  Popcorn, cool towels, water, sunscreen and more.   What did I become obsessed with?  The freakin’ candy.  It’s like I became a 6 year old girl in THE Candy Store of my dreams.  I was surrounded by Kit Kat bars, M&Ms, Snickers, Twizzlers, Ring Pops.  You name it.  I couldn’t take a lot of these things to my seat either because the chocolate would melt in the heat.  Lol.  So what was up with that?

  1. I’m watching my sugar levels, so I’m pretty sure the fact that I could have ALL the candy I wanted was messing with my healthy eating mind set.  It’s kind of funny when you think about it.  I conjure all the candy I could ever want and with my healthy diet and the heat I couldn’t enjoy it.  So…is it something I really want after all?  My Bitch came up with the answer.  NO.
  2. My conclusion became this.  I’m lacking in another area that I need to focus on.  I know how to get it, and I’m taking action now.

I was putting my attention on something I didn’t really want-all I can eat candy.  Attention was what I really wanted.  I don’t want to go into details about what attention I want.  I’m pretty open about my personal life on this web site.  So we can learn together.  This one I’m not quite ready to open up about, so please be patient with me.  It’s real scary and I promise I will open up soon.  I want to make sure I communicate clearly with the fear I’m experiencing right now.  I want to do the fear justice and you justice.

So why is it that we become a Greedy Little Brat and focus on something we don’t want?  It’s the fear.  What happens if we get what we want and then lose it?  If we invest time, emotion, our blood sweat and tears into something and it leaves us?  Or isn’t successful?  Fearing failure can lead to all sorts of unhealthy habits.  Pushing away fear can keep us from feeling.  I did it for years when I decided I didn’t want to be hurt anymore.  By anyone.  That’s why I also think we hold on so tightly to some things.  Like men.  Why would we want to hold onto a guy who is rude, doesn’t answer our messages, flirts openly on Facebook with other women, etc.  We’ve invested time and we just can’t see that he is candy.  The Faux Girlfriend:  we’ve invested time and energy into her and all she does is take.  So the next time you become obsessed with having something, try asking yourself this:   It might taste and look good, but is he/she/it really good for us?

Sweet food for thought…Love, Goddess

For more:  Who Controls You, Your Bitch or Your Brat: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/01/who-controls-you-your-bitch-or-your-brat/

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Mind Games Playing Hard to Get, Part Two

mind game,adventure,love,relationship advice,divorce advice, dating after divorce
Yummy Pink Heart Cupcakes from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/socake/1002124244/

Mind games.  Repeat after me: “I will not play games with men in love.”

A while back, I wrote about “Playing Hard to Get.”   The inspiration for the post was a friend who advised me, during a conversation about dating, to “play hard to get.”  I rolled my eyes at him and said, “I am hard to get.”  I had a long email conversation about this with a hot male friend of mine on Twitter, Bob.  We talked about how confusing it is for men when women “play” hard to get.  He hated the mind games.  You don’t have to pretend you’re a hot commodity, hottie.  You already are!

When I say be busy and “move to your own groove,” I want you to be having so much fun with your life, friends, passions, career, etc. that you are sincerely busy. You’re having so much fun attaining what you want that it isn’t a “game.”  Not one mind game in the mix.  You communicate when you’re available when he asks.  You also don’t:

  1. Do things to make a man jealous, just to get his attention.
  2. Talk about “your boyfriend” or “all the guys interested in you.” Guys do this to get a reaction out of women.  When you do it to them, it turns them off.  They GET this game.
  3. Ignore him when he’s being nice, or try to get his attention when he ignores you.

You don’t do these things because you’re too busy!

So this Busy Bitch got a wake up call a few days ago.  I’m dating a man who is sexy, smart, and we have lots in common.  I did something for him and he didn’t respond.  He also didn’t respond to a couple messages I’d sent him.  Not cool.  So I told him so.   I wasn’t going to play mind games with him.  He tried to backtrack during our conversation.  Then he tried to put it on me.  No way I was going to let that happen.  I ended the conversation and left the ball in his court, so to speak.  His choice whether he wanted to stop playing mind games, answer my messages and continue seeing me.

The next day I got a text from him acknowledging the problem and telling me he tried to follow up on missed messages.  Good, but there was more to go.  I didn’t respond.  Later that night he sent two more messages.  One, admitting he might have been playing mind games.  He should have responded and he had no real excuse.  (This is male speak for admitting you were right, honey.  Note there is no sorry.)  Men show they are sorry by doing what you tell them is unacceptable.  Ie: not answering or ignoring messages.  And THIS he was doing now.  Good.  I was happy.

Here’s the kicker.  He called me on my own crap right back.  He was frustrated because I was “so busy.”

Ohhh.  Yes.  I guess I have been.  He’s right.  So what’s a Sassy Bitch to do?  He’s giving me what I wanted, now it’s time for me to communicate and make the effort to free up time for him.

So what’s the moral of this little story?

  1. If you call a guy on his crap,  ie “It’s not acceptable for you to ignore my messages,” and he responds by doing what you wanted, he likes you and is making the effort with his actions.
  2. Men rarely say they’re sorry, they show you they’re sorry by doing what you told them was unacceptable.
  3. If a guy tells you what frustrates him about something you’re doing, LISTEN.  He may have a point.  Good guys do.  And just like good women, good men want to be respected.  So respect them by listening to them with an open mind.

So…when you’re finding yourself thinking or worrying about a guy you’re dating too much, get busy.  Find other things to occupy your mind with.  Mind games are not a good use of time. Communicate what is not acceptable behavior, watch his actions, and if he responds by giving you what you want he’s being a good man.  Be a good woman in return and listen to what he needs from you and give back.

Love, Goddess

For more:

  1. Dating Tips for Women: Let a Man Chase You Here’s How
  2. What a Bitch Wouldn’t be Caught Dead Doing 
  3. Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Slightly Outrageous Fun-Just Ask!

Pink Lips Graphics can be found at the very hot http://www.comments-galore.com/search.php?type=backgrounds&term=%20lips

Saturday night I’m enjoying a night out with friends in the South End of Boston.  The restaurant had amazing food and the owner was so charming and wonderful to us.  We were talking about being “slightly outrageous.”  All in fun, nothing dangerous or crazy.  One of my friends and I started to feed each other.  A little while later the owner, the charming Gary asked us how everything was, and the following occurred:

“I have a request,”  I said with a slightly mischievous smile.

“Oh, no…I’m a bit scared.”  He said, smiling back.

“I would like a kiss,” I said.

With flirty eye contact, I smiled a sly smile.  I presented him with my hand.  Our eyes never left each other.  And then he granted my request so perfectly.  It was a perfect moment.  You know what’s really cool about my kiss?  I just went for it and asked.  Then I thought, how many times a day do we hold back from asking what we want?  Or have we gotten into the habit of not asking because we don’t think we’re going to get it?  Or worse, we’re AFRAID we’re going to get it.

Well, Bitches, it’s time to start asking.  Today at Bitch University you’re assignment is to:  Give it a try and ask a man to do something for you.  Start with your Dad, Uncle, Grandparent, Brother.  Move on to male acquaintances.  Then servicemen.  Then that hot piece of *** across the room.  And remember that old saying, “It never hurts to ask.”

Have fun. (sassy smile)

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Mmmm…Sensuality!

  Pink Water Image from Cheeky Angels http://www.flickr.com/photos/cheekyangels/

I had the most amazingly sensual experience today.  And it had nothing to do with a man.

Not that I don’t like sensual experiences with a man (sly smile).   I had been doing some yard work and it’s scorching hot out.  I went inside to wash my hands.  The cool water felt so good on my hands.  So I splashed a little on my forearms.  Then my face, back of the neck…it was addicting!  I thought to myself “Oooohhh this is so simple but it’s exactly what I need.”  Normally, I may have gone off to tackle another chore.  I almost did.  LOL.  So I slowed way down.  It was heaven.  So make a slice of heaven for yourself during this heat wave.  Here is your Sensuality Assignment today at Bitch University.

The next time you have been outside and are way over heated.  Get yourself to the faucet!

  1. Slowly let the water run over your lower arms.
  2. Splash your face with the cold water.  Let it run down your face and neck.
  3. Run the cool water through your hair slower than slow.  Close your eyes and enjoy it!
  4. Put some water in your hands and let it run on over the back of your neck.  You may want to enjoy that one over and over!
  5. Cup some water in your hands and splash on your ears.  I forgot how hot that area gets on a humid day and it felt like pure heaven!
  6. Let the cool water trickle down your back.  Mmmm…
  7. Repeat…slower than slow.  Close your eyes and enjoy!

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies