Curveballs and Your Sense of Humor

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My life for the past few weeks has been a series of never ending curveballs.  Curveballs with Bitch Lifestyle, Family, Improv.  You name it, a curveball has been thrown at it.  And the thing is?  They’ve all been ridiculous.  Crazy…nuts!  I almost wrote about it last week, but didn’t.  Instead I decided that all the curveballs were over.  I over came the hurdles and all I had to do was just take my own advice and chill.  So I took a long hot yummy shower, slathered on my favorite moisterizer, spritzed some glitter on my body, lit some incense and settled down in my bed with a huge stack of magazines.  Blissfully I sank into my comfy pillows and opened my first  magazine.  Heaven.  A few pages later, I heard the pitter patter of little feet.  I looked up…and into my cozy bedroom a squirrel ran and stopped.

Seriously ridiculous, right?

I sat there in disbelief.  My mind goes blank.  Well…the thing wound up running out of my bedroom.  It was late, I didn’t know the first thing about squirrel catching, so I sealed the door.  I would borrow my brothers’ squirrel trap the next day to take care of the problem.  I went to sleep.  Two hours later I awoke with a start.  Something was digging at my bedroom door.  No way it was going to get in.  I lay there in the dark.  Silence.  Then I heard the pitter patter of little feet running around my bed.  I was absolutely frozen with fear in the dark.  Then the thing jumped on one of my feet!  I screamed and turned on the light in time to see it climb my wall and stare at me on top of the window curtain.

There we sat.  Looking at each other.  Why the **** didn’t I leave earlier?  What the **** was I going to do?  So we sat looking at each other for another minute.  Then the thing started running back and forth on the top of the curtain. Then I heard the pitter patter of another set of feet.  I calmly picked up the phone and called my parents.  It was 2:00am.  My Dad answers the phone.  I tell him that I’m coming over to spend the night because I am having a staring contest with a squirrel in my bedroom.  I hang up, get some clothes on, all the while watching the squirrel.

Anyway, the next day my brother, who has had a huge problem with squirrels in his apartment this fall, became my squirrel advisor.  He’d caught 4 of the things in his garage!   I gave him a title “Master Squirrel Hunter.”  We named my squirrel “Scooter.”  By the end of the day we had captured Scooter in a Have a Heart trap.  We plugged up a hole we thought squirrels may be getting in and here I am in my comfy bed writing this post.  After another day of HUGE curveballs that had nothing to do with squirrels.

Why all the crazy curveballs?  Why is such a waste of time.  The only thing to do when oh I can’t help it…the fur is flying…is to take extra care of ourselves, keep our killer sense of humor and deal.  And…look forward to all the fun that our healthy sense of humor is going to bring us!  Lost your humor?  Check into Bitch University for help in getting it back: Rapunzel and her Tower

Love, Goddess

Want more humor, confidence and sass?  Private Coaching available Your Re-Awakening

© S Stevens Life Strategies

**** Gorgeous image “Abstract Chaos” can be downloaded at the website 123rf 

Thanksgiving Grateful: You!

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I am so grateful this Thanksgiving I can barely sit!  Last night on our Facebook page I posted this:

I’m a little disturbed by emails I’ve been getting from women who are using men as experiments in dating. Yes, there are jerks out there. Get it. I meet them too. If you know a man who is into you and you aren’t? Be honest. Seriously bad karma if you aren’t!

This is so important because good men are hurt by bad women.  Good women are hurt by bad men.  Trust is broken.  This turns into a cycle that keeps churning out more distrust and confusion about each other.  I feel the hurt from both sides.  Then a guy posted a remark regarding this quote.  It led to a few more posts and then to some really misguided thoughts he had about women.  I’m not sure if he really thinks this way because he is a jerk, or if he has been hurt by women in the past, or if he hasn’t had strong feminine women in his life who appreciate him for who he is.  What was awesome was…

YOU!

Several of our “Sassy Bitches” wouldn’t let his comments slide.  They get how important it is for women to have each others’ backs.  How important it is to relish who we are, love ourselves and play and have fun with all the blessings of being female.  How empowering it is to have permission to just go for it.  Knowing you have a safety net…our Bitch Rebellion.  Thank you thank you thank you.  It’s only going to get better.  Bigger and more fun!

Post dedicated to the Sassy Jacklyn and Sassy Gianna.

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

 *** Gorgeous thank you from the website Gracie Jewellery http://graciejewellery.blogspot.com/2010/11/pink-saturday-november-6.html

Thanksgiving Celebrations and Irritations

Mmmmm…Thanksgiving.  The food.  The long weekend off from work.  Hours of *ecstatic sigh*  NFL Football, the anticipation of more celebrations to come with family and friends.  The suprises!  And the less so fun.  Like the co-workers or that certain family member that just LOVES to push your buttons.  And they’re soooo good at it.  They bother you even before they stick out their button pushing finger.  LOL.  So how do we keep the Thanksgiving celebration going with the irritations and curve balls that may crop up?  How well to you let things slide off you?  My Thanksgiving gift to you is your own little “Keep the Sassy Bitch Purring During the Celebration Season Guide.”

  1. Are you prepared to Celebrate your Sassy Bitch Ass off during the upcoming season?
  2. Are you able to stay focused on being happy and sassy when things go awry?
  3. Do you have a sense of humor when things out of your control go awry?

Item number 1:  Are you prepared to Celebrate your Sassy Bitch Ass off during the upcoming season? 

a.  I’m not talking about your Martha Stewart calender of organization.  I’m talking your “fun schedule.”  The schedule that makes you fashionably late for a party because you took an extra half hour to give yourself a manicure before the event.  Spend time developing your very own Celebration Ritual to you keep sane, sassy and rested.  So you can enjoy the whole crazy, wonderful, loving, suprise filled season with relish.  You have energy to make snow angels or go ice skating with some spiked or not spiked hot cocoa.  Experience your first sleigh ride or have a snow ball fight.  Take your moments to play and it will pay off in dividends during this season.

b.  Take care of your stress by dancing your booty off, working out, meditating. Whatever works for you!  My clients have noticed how much dancing and working out has helped their stress.  How much more they can do and how it helps keep them calm.

Item 2:  Are you able to stay focused on being happy and sassy when things go awry?

This takes a little Martha Stewart preparation, but make it fun!  Schedule fun every day.  Find creative solutions when road blocks happen.  Try to start thinking like this:

  • When I get this done tonight…I would love to relax with so and so later.  I’ll call to see if they want to meet up for a champagne toast or yummy dessert.  If not, I’ll find the perfect place to go and just do it!
  • Oh…there is so much traffic.  Tonight I’ll go home and do my shopping online.  I know I can get A, B and C done.
  • I’ve got my work party tonight.  I’m going to go early, talk everyone up then make the quickest exit possible.  Then I’ll do this (insert your fun idea here) to celebrate all I have accomplished this year and think and enjoy all the goals I’m going to accomplish next!
  • It’s family time and so and so will be there.  I’m going to prepare myself with pleasant, vague ways to excuse myself when they try to corner me.  I will not let them bring me down.  I’ll do anything to make myself feel empowered…maybe create a hot mantra while applying lip gloss.  “Yes,  I’m ******* fabulous.”  Then let the irritation slide off me.

Item 3:  Do you have a sense of humor when things out of your control go awry?

If you take really good care of yourself, your sense of humor will appear naturally.  You may finding yourself wanting to giggle when no one else wants to.  Priceless.

Now get out there and play your butts off this week!  Be thankful and take exquisite care of hot, sassy little YOU!

Love, Goddess

Private Coaching available. For more information: http://bitchlifestyle.com/private-coaching/

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Bring It

We are Sassy Bitches.

We stand up for ourselves, each other and those we love.

We are strong.

We know exactly what we want and how we want it.

We communicate in a confident, charming, bottom line type of way no matter the venue.

  With our families, friends, co-workers, enemies and lovers.

We are outspoken and determined.

Communicating effectively is an art and we’ve worked hard to master this ability.

  When people don’t like what we have to say or are insulting, we aren’t intimidated into doing something we don’t want to do.

We don’t lie down and take abuse, disrespect or nonsense from anyone.  We either call them on it or refuse to engage in it.

We take care of ourselves.  We take that time because when we are happy, we can make everyone else happy!  It takes courage to own our Sassy Feminine Bitch in our world today.

And we over flow with courage.

We embrace our unique beauty and talents.

Excuses bore us.  Action turns us on!

We stand up and fight for the women who haven’t seen their power yet.

And to anyone who tries to diffuse our inner flames, our burning desires and luscious beauty?

We say bring it.

Because with a smile and the flair of a Goddess we will watch them fail or give up and join our Rebellion.

And we’ll welcome them with a sassy smile and open arms.

We are Sassy Bitches.  Enjoy us Purr.

 

© S Stevens Life Strategies

 

Pink Orchid available at 123 RF Stock Photos website:   http://www.123rf.com/photo_5108918_love-letter-with-pink-orchid-and-three-little-stones.html