Ninon De Lenclos


The Brilliant Ninon De Lenclos (1620-1705) from The Pfister Hotel

In the Victorian Era-where women were not permitted to be “independent,” Ninon De Lenclos took that social norm and kicked its’ ass!  Not only was she beautiful, she was considered an “equal” to men in her intelligence and wit. Thanks to a string of very wealthy lovers, Ninon lived her life as she pleased, was loved in French court and became an author.  She also held on to her wealth…something a lot of women were not taught how to do back then.  I mean, that would involve becoming independent so you can take care of yourself, right? (sassy wink)  Want more?  Some more inspiring tidbits:

  1. Ninon was born in poverty and to keep her independence, joined a convent.
  2. Her father, in a time where women were not taught how to write, made sure Ninon learned her letters.
  3. Noticing how women were taught to buy “frivolous things,” Ninon took note instead of what men bought.  And chose those things.
  4. She divided her admirers into 3 groups: “Payers”-Conversation seekers, not necessarily sex. “Martyrs” those who struck out. “Favorites” flocked to her home to hear her play her lute.
  5. King Louis XIV never changed mistresses without asking Ninon first.
  6. Men wanted her so much:  but they didn’t meet her high standards.  So she opened “The School of Gallantry” to teach them how to romance women.  LOVE it!
  7. Ninon’s lovers paid her bills, but she refused to be “bought.”  She did exactly what she wanted.  Whenever, whoever, whatever.

Mmmmm…so ladies.  When are you opening up your “School of Gallantry?”  For extra inspiration here is the book Ninon wrote about her experiences:  Life, Letters and Epicurean Philosophy of Ninon De L’Enclos: The Celebrated Beauty of the Seventeenth Century

Suggested Reading:

  1. Scandalous Women:  Ninon de Lenclos – Mademoiselle Libertine
  2. Carole Lombard:  Feisty and Fabulous
  3. Think You’re Too Old and Ugly to be a Seductress?  Think again!
  4. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Strong Vulnerable Male

Strong male hand at work can be found at Royalty Free Stock Photos 123rf:


Do you know when a man is being vulnerable with you?

A close male friend, “M” and I are talking.  We’re talking about his family.   “Ms” Dad is so cute and I ask him how he is doing.  M says he’s good but he isn’t able to use his hands like he used to.  M is so like his Dad to me in that way-how much they love to work with their hands.  The next thing M says puts the exclamation point on it:

“I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t work with my hands anymore.”

Do you understand how much a man just said to you when he says something like this?  He’s stating a huge part of who he is and the fear of losing it.  This is him being vulnerable and open with you.   An interesting metaphor is menopause for women.  BOTH sexes are losing the ability to produce.  Never to come back.  This post is something for us as women to think about and be aware of.  What is something about a man you care about that is SO important to him?  Does he relish his business mind?  His creativity?  His ability to discover solutions to problems?  Does he crave adventure?  These are keys to appreciating the men you care about.   As he gets older, his body and mind will bear the inevitable aging process.  Strong, loving you will find ways to make sure he still feels strong and connected to his joys in life and the deeply male, primal need to produce.

Truly loving involves reciprication.  Communicating wants, desires and letting the other produce for you.  Truly loving notices what the other lives for and encourages always.

Related Reading:

  1. The Dark Side of the Male Ego:
  2. Giving You a Hot Sexy Shot of Testosterone:
  3. What You Can Learn From Men’s Magazines:


© S Stevens Life Strategies

Serenity in Chaos?

You-The bright light in the middle of chaos!

Serenity in chaos.

The more of a Sassy Bitch you come, the more the fur flies, the walls become bigger to climb over and the problems more do or die.  Sounds rather dramatic, doesn’t it?  The good part is, the fun quotient soars as well!  Let’s get back to the chaos example.  When you’re in your Sassy Bitch, your Drama Queen is the one napping.   The Sassy Bitch doesn’t fan the fires of drama.  She has surrounded herself with people who take action instead of PANIC.  They know exactly what to do when the shoe drops.  And sometimes?  She needs that and releases control so she can attend to other things.  Like dealing with her food poisoning.

Yeah…so here’s the story.  Saturday night I had a show with my improv group.  Theatre is packed and we have half an hour before curtain.  I find out one of my musicians is sick and can’t make it.  I have a back up musician, but he didn’t bring his guitar.  So I’m down one man and one guitar.  Calmly my other guitar player and another member of the group know exactly what to do and proceed in Mission A:  Find Guitar For Show.  Mission B:  I kept to myself.  I had food poisoning.  I had to get a grip on the urge to throw up my lunch.  All while being the Sassy Bitch in charge.  No one ever knew I was sick, we found a guitar and we had a very good show.

One of the hardest things to do is lead by example when you’re a leader.  You are the glue to everything.  You can’t get sick.  You have to motivate and make sure everyone is ready to kick ass.  You have to surround yourself with people who will have you back when you have the urge to take a back seat and just be sick.  This is never doubting yourself and people earning your trust.  And doubt will crop up.  I have a fun little exercise that really helps when doubt crops up.  It’s a little mantra.  It’s a little beauty treatment.  It even helps when you are PMSing like there is no tomorrow.  Here is what I say:

I am fabulous!  (can be said throughout the day)

Worry creeps in and I say:

I let you go because I choose to be fabulous!

There is so much power in your choices.  Choices are habits.  If we choose to worry, that’s what we get.  More of it.  Choose Fabulous.  Because THAT is what you are.  Do this every time you feel doubt and worry quivering below the surface.  Let me know how it goes.  For more “fabulous” encouragement, read these articles:

  1. Beauty Rituals Empower You
  2. Make Your Eyes Sparkle:  Literally!
  3. Fear is a Future Emotion

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Looking for Trouble?

Is there really anything else to say?  Go get your fun magnet at Epherma Inc:

And have a playful, pin-up girl sexy kind of weekend.  😉  Love, Goddess

Wanna tap into this kind of Sassy Sexy?  Private Coaching available.  For more information: Private Coaching limited to 10 people.

© S Stevens Life Strategies