I have a major girl crush on Sofia Vergara! The first time I saw the “What Lola Wants,” Diet Pepsi commercial? Love at first sight. Yeah…that’s how a Sassy Bitch does it. Then I would see this woman work her curves to perfection at awards shows like the Oscars and Golden Globes and was so happy! Curves on a woman are sexy. Yummy. So your assignment today is to work your curves like Sofia. Use her glamorous ways as an inspiration to you. Wear only that which make your curves scream va va voom.
Need to know key to how in your Sassy Bitch you are: How much free stuff are you getting? If you have to stop and think about the last time you got a deal or something for free? You need to up your Sass. You are not living up to your Sassy Bitch potential. This week has been a slow week for me in the getting free department. I’m getting ready for a vacation and have extra extra work to do to keep things running while I’m gone. I’ve been hibernating with my hot, sexy computer so I haven’t been out much. Still…I’m grateful for all the goodies that have come my way:
Not happy with my cable bill, I called the company and had a ball with the very hot girl I got as a rep. I wound up paying less than I did for my last yearly contract. Yes!
Just as I started researching a Kindle, I received a Kindle Keyboard FREE!
I was craving my fave tuna tartare from a nearby restaurant. I told the man who answered the phone how much I adored their recipe and gushed about how excited I was to have it. When I got to the restaurant he gave me a big smile and said: “It’s on me.” Yes!
Trying to find a car during Spring Break that wasn’t a ridiculous price was starting to irritate me. So I called a car company, got another hot girl on the line and not only did I get a non-existent discount, I got a free upgrade. Yes!
I got a guy from my web hosting service laughing so hard that he gave me his personal line. To call whenever I needed something. Yes!
I received beautiful jewelry. From a man I’ve never met. Whom I’ve only talked to over the phone!
Are these sorts of things happening to you? I really want them to happen to YOU! So here are some things I do that help. Note: If you are in your Bratty Drama Queen? You need to take care of her NOW. Ideas:
Every day I work to become a happier, more loving and more grateful person.
I practice flirting with everything that moves. It’s infectious fun for those around you.
I treat people the way I want to be treated.
I am grateful every single day for all I have.
I love to give. To strangers, friends, family. I don’t expect anything back. I don’t expect anything back because it’s fun to put smiles on peoples’ faces!
I have practiced seeing the good in every road block like no ones’ business.
I keep myself grounded with positive activities and people. When I meet energy suckers and Debbie Downers, they don’t bother me. I know what it’s like to be in their shoes. Not a fun place to be. I’m polite-never letting them suck them down.
Dealing with bullies: women who bash other women. Portrayed in the Mean Girls movie by Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried, these Drama Queens have no place in our lives. She will create havoc and pain in the lives of the women around her. She is extraordinarily unhappy and filled with rage. Dealing with bullies literally sucks the life out of you! She goes against so many of the Bitch Rules: Bitch Rules The two most important being:
Bitch Rule #2: We will not compete with other women. This forum is a place where we can support, cheer, and turn each other on with our individual sense of fun, play and laughter.
Bitch Rule #5: We love our girlfriends and stay faithful always! We do not break dates with them when our new guys call us last minute. Or change plans with them if he wants to do something. Our time with our girlfriends is sacred. We keep that time when we start seeing a new man, have a boyfriend or get married. Yay girlfriends!
Like attracts like, right? If you choose the Drama Queens in this world, what is it about them that you are choosing? In my past I chose Drama Queens because they always needed me. When they didn’t need me, it was usually because they had a new guy. I’d been dumped by them. When they got dumped, they would come running back into my life. I let them come back because I lacked confidence. I lacked the confidence to tell them to “go pound sand.” All gloriously pitiful, right? I can laugh at this now and I would love it if you could laugh at it with me. Because I think most women have been there. In this day and age the “Drama Queen” epidemic seems to be rampant. Glamorized. Big business. Hello any of the “Real Wives of XYZ,” on Bravo.
When you say “no” to her, you open up your world to the really good women out there who will have your back. Ones that you may not have seen, were close to but still kept at arm’s length, or lacked the confidence to truly embrace. To truly embrace means to truly love, doesn’t it? And to truly love you have to know that you truly deserve it. Love. And we all do, it’s just sometimes life gets in the way and we don’t do what we have to do to take care of ourselves and stay grounded in our wants, desires, dreams, goals, fun and play! So here is your Bitch University refresher course to get and keep you on the path of confident, good for you choices.
After re-reading The Bitch Rules: Put the rules in a journal or notebook. What areas do you need to work on? Your sensuality? Your appreciation of all you have? Get to it. Pronto.
Are you pissed off? Edgy? Constantly question every little thing you do? You’re probably in your Drama Queen. Start banishing her from your life: Stop Being So Hard on Yourself Lather, rinse, repeat until you have a grip. Yes…this may take a while. Commit to it and getting control over your Drama Queen.
DO NOT feel bad about being in your Drama Queen. We all go there. Women are emotional creatures. It’s in our DNA. The problem is instead of making the choice to do something about it, we revel in it. Now it’s time to revel in YOU and do something good for you. Celebrate YOU. Here are some fun things to do for you: Harnessing Your Super Natural Force
Sign you’re a Sassy Bitch #5: You listen to a man’s words with healthy skepticism. Actions turn you on.
Men will say just about anything to get what they want from you. They always want something. And that, Sassy Bitch…plays right into our hot little hands. Except we do it backwards. We let them have what they want…sex or whatever and then wonder why they don’t call, text or set up dates. They’ve gotten what they want and they have moved on. When you MAKE a man produce FIRST by backing up his words with action, he has to work harder to get what he wants. If what he wants is us, we get the pleasure of sitting back and letting him produce. He has to work harder to get what he wants, which feeds his ego. By taking his words with a grain of salt, we get spared the pain. Trusting his action backed words makes us feel safe and treasured. Again, when we are happy and he is able to contribute to our happiness, his ego is fed.
Ladies…do you think men are “hairy women?” Do you think they think the same as you and your girlfriends? Well, they don’t. At all. So in honor of Sassy Bitch Rule #5, let’s review some of the ways we need to understand men better.
I’m going to give you one more article. It’s an article about Oxytocin. Oxytocin, sometimes called “the bonding hormone,” is a hormone both sexes produce in the body during sex. A woman also releases this hormone during childbirth. It’s important to understand a bit more about this hormone and how it may make us feel after we have sex with a man: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/04/the-cuddle-hormone-2/
One final piece of evidence. You know when you hear men talking about what “dogs” they are? They are being truthful. I was chatting with a man on Twitter and he insisted all men are dogs. No matter what. I wrote back: There are good dogs and bad dogs. The good dogs back their words up with action. He replied back:
“This is true.”
So there you have it – right from the Dobermans’ mouth. So do the Bitch University reading assignments above. And study the Sassy Bitch rules thoroughly. Class dismissed. Love, Goddess