Why Are Some People So Mean?

Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions
Yeah!!!! Brilliantly said by Will Smith. From Quotes Lover: http://quotes-lover.com/wp-content/uploads/Stop-letting-people-who-do-so-little-for-you-control-so-much-of-your-mind-feelings-and-emotions.jpg

Why are some people so mean?  Envy, maybe. They want something you have and are jealous.  And mean.   Never go up against them.  If you do, you are only fueling their hatred and giving them fuel to tend to their “hatred of you” fire.  The best way to get them to go away?  Be polite.  Even do something nice for them in front of a lot of people.  Sincerely.  It will piss them off and they will go find another target.  Or if you do something nice for them, if they aren’t a hopeless Drama Queen, they may back off out of guilt or just stop the nonsense.  Or it may surprise them enough that they feel guilty about how they’ve treated you.  And maybe, just maybe,  try to make it up to you.

There is so much power in being polite.  Treat your enemies politely.  Enemies and mean people are uneasy with polite.  It isn’t the reaction they are used to getting.  It’s isn’t fun.  There is a reason why people push your buttons.  It’s to make you feel bad.  To control, manipulate or otherwise make themselves feel good because they wish they could feel good but have made it a habit to be mean.  Just seeing a happy person puts them in a jealous snit.  Deep down they are miserable.  Unhappy and pissed off beyond reason.  And the worst sorts want to wreck your day.  When you are polite they aren’t getting to you.   You will frustrate them so much they’ll either run away from you or learn from you. 

And it surrounds us on the news, television and internet.  I opened up AOL and there was so much Drama!  The poor little girl, Quvenzhané Wallis and the “C” word.  So and so “failed last night,” the most miserable place in the United States, a variety of things that are bad for you, I could go on.  And that was only the first page!  We are bombarded by drama every day.  It’s like a really bad episode of Real Housewives on Bravo.  Those women are constantly at each other.  She said this, she did that and then get together and fight about it.  Who wants to hang out with those kinds of people?  Give me the Bitch.  You know where you stand with her.  Because she tells you.  She wants to love life and the people in it.  Not waste time with stewing about all the “bad” out there.  I give you lots of tools in my book Bitch Lifestyle the Manual to kick the bad to the curb.  If all you want to see is bad, then fine.  See it.  Come join out party when you’re ready. 

Cut now to a brand new day (I usually start writing at night and edit during the day)  As part of the party invitation I decided to have a little fun with AOL.  If I opened the page today…a fresh new day…what positive empowering things can we enmesh ourselves in?  Here we go I’m going in… 

Well… 

That was a no go.  Everything was about death, how bad the economy is, celebrity problems and we’ll stop there!  So what does a Sassy Bitch do?  Try this:   1.  The Daily Good:  A newsletter…by the way it’s free…of real life inspiring good news.  2.  Cute Overload:  When you really need to smile: puppies, kitties being adorable, funny, huggable!  3.  Positively Positive:  Do I need to explain?  Go here for a healthy, good for you kick in the butt.   Now get in there and enjoy some JOY.  Love, Goddess

For More:

  1. Get Happy After a Painful Break Up!
  2. My book on Amazon:  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home  

© S Stevens Life Strategies 

 

Is There Such Thing as a Good Cry?

woman crying 21 The Faux Girlfriend
Image from “The Faux Girlfriend” http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/01/the-faux-girlfriend/

Is crying good for you?  I was overwhelmed with resistance last week while I was crying.  It was the most beautiful, pathetic crying, too.  Drama Queen wanting to release and Bitch struggling not to.  I would bravely hold back my tears and try to focus on “action,” instead.  Then falling into crying again and then once again trying to resist it.  The resistance was driving me a little mad.  Why was I resisting crying?  Do you do that?  Why do we resist crying when we have every right to?  Every right to release in this powerful way that was given to us in our bodies?  My Drama Queen wanted to cry and my Bitch wanted to stop.  Or was it the other way around?  I need a good cry, right? The question that came to mind was this:  Is there such a thing as a good cry?

Then it hit me:  “I hate crying when I have so much to be thankful for.”

So that was it.  Guilt.  I felt so guilty for crying when I had so much to be thankful for, so much to live for and so much life to surrender to.  Which was in direct irony with why I was crying.  I was crying over the loss of a girlfriend who had died from cancer.  What right did I have to cry when I was alive, healthy and have so much to be grateful for?

The knowing what the resistance was all about – guilt – made me feel better.  It also led me to the answer I needed to help me take action.  Which made me feel even better!  Every case is different, but there is such thing as a good cry.  We shouldn’t feel bad or guilty about it.  We should let it go so we can see the guilt, (or whatever) deal with the guilt and listen to the solution that will make us feel better.

Examples of good crying:

  1. Releasing it due to loss.  Crying, like rage, is letting go.  A necessary purging so we can move on.
  2. While watching a movie and something makes the tears flow.  This happens to me a lot!  And sometimes it’s the silliest thing that’s so beautiful to me.  But is it really silly?  No.  It’s something that moves you so relish that little part of you that is moved.  There are good movies to cry to and good songs to cry to.  Find your favorites!

Examples of Drama Queen ruling:

  1. Repeatedly crying over loss.  Not letting things you cannot control GO.  These things may include a bad job experience, bad friends and a guy that doesn’t treat you like the Goddess you are.
  2. Stress:  We may be so overwhelmed that taking action may have to be looked into.  This is where you ask and listen to those who love you most.  They will be able to lead you and support you so you can take steps to feel better.

You’ve had a good cry when:  You finish and start to feel calm.  You feel almost normal again.  Take a few moments and savor the feeling.  This would be a good time to up the ante:  Immediately do something good for yourself.  A hot shower is one of my favorites.  Is it good to cry?  I’d say yes to crying!  So please share … when is a wonderful time to have a good cry?  Or not so much?

Love, Goddess

For your reading pleasure.  More on this subject:

  1. So You Had a Bad Day
  2. Learning to Laugh When You Feel Like Crying
  3. Pathways to Bliss
  4. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Sensuality Week!

sensuality week,
Gorgeous and sensual image from the amazing website The Sensual Art of Love

Over the years I’ve written a lot about sensuality.  Sensuality, to a woman, is not just about sex.  It encompasses so many things.  To kick off Sensuality week, here are some of the most popular articles for you to review.  A little bit of sex and a lot on passion!  Take some time for your sensuality this week.  Explore tastes, touch, slowing down.  Follow the daily tips on our Facebook page and share your fun ideas!  Bitch Lifestyle on Facebook

A.  Slowing Down and Enjoying Passion

  1. The Lost Art of Savoring
  2. The Definition of Passion 
  3. Re-Awaken Passion

B.  Embracing Our Sexual Organs

  1. Celebrate our Sexual Organs
  2. They’re Calling My Feminine Core What?
  3. 50 Shades of Gray

Love, Goddess

Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Surrender!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥  All strange and terrible events are welcome, but comforts we despise.  Cleopatra  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

 

Discover who you are.  What you like and will not tolerate.

Learn how to communicate what you like and will not tolerate.

Surrender.

Wait.  Back up Goddess. Huh?  Surrender to what?  The right career path.  The people you love spending time with.  The caress that feels good with absolutely NO “uh oh…” going on in your body.   Knowing that by loving and adoring yourself you can make the best decision for yourself and spare yourself (as much as possible anyway) long term pain.  It’s like the Samantha Jones (Sex in the City) in you-girls’ a bitch.  She won’t let go of who she is.  Even when she falls in love.  Samantha to Richard, the man she loves:

Samantha:  I can’t do this anymore.  I can’t be running around wondering who your banging when.

Richard:  I promised I would try to never hurt you again.  I love you.

Samantha:  Yeah?  Well I love me more.

Richard cheated on her once.  Samantha tried to get past it but she knew who he was.  Richard was not capable of being faithful.  She understood that so well because she understood herself so well.   Samantha was the female Richard.  She knew intellectually that it just couldn’t work.  Even though she was madly in love with him she let him go.   Instead of choosing to be a Drama Queen and worry about what he was doing all the time she chose herself.

Women hold on to men all the time they should let go.  This is control.  Does it **** that you can’t have the man you want?  Hell ya!  But it ***** even more when you lose yourself and still wind up alone.  I hear about it from girls everyday.  Just let him go.  Don’t let your ego (not having him) get in the way.  Surrender…

Surrender to what you love and what serves YOU.  The friendships that fulfill you.  The people that are always there for you.  Chocolate in every form imaginable.  Music that makes your heart and soul smile.  Tickling.  Reading and entertainment that fulfills you.  Education that grows your mind and bank account.  Volunteering.  Making a life long “What I want” list that is so hot it makes you smile just thinking about it!  Surrender to you.  Every single day.  If you find yourself obsessing about a man, a problem, talk to a girlfriend.  Take action.  Surrender to anything that makes you feel good.  Still in a funk?  Repeat Cleopatra’s quote above.  Over and over until you start to feel it in your body.

Why the quote above you may ask?  Comforts we despise?  Yeah.  How many times a day do you not do what is good for you because you are too busy.  Notice what you are busy doing.  Are you obsessing over someone or something you have no control over?  That’s when you switch.  Surrender to what you love.  Then and there.  Love, Goddess

Need more?  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual is now on Amazon!  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

Not sure where to start or is the Drama Queen ruling in your life?  Let me give you the tools to embrace your Sassy Bitch: http://bitchlifestyle.com/private-coaching/

© S Stevens Life Strategies