Respect Do You Own Yours?

Celebrate the respect you have for yourself with the always fab Aretha Franklin…from numberonesongs4444 on You Tube

Respect defined:   “A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”

One word.  One word that means so much to you!  And you have to work hard to earn it and then continue working hard to keep it. In order to go out and get respect from others you must have it within yourself.  It is one of the hardest things to do but it is everything.  And you have to know what you want so you can respect IT.  Respect requires a set of life values for yourself.  What you will and will not tolerate.  Because if you tolerate something that makes you feel horrible?  It becomes your choice to disrespect yourself.  Examples:

  1. Work:  Someone is constantly interrupting you while you work on an important project.  A project you worked so hard to get!  This may make your work suffer. Don’t be too nice. Communicate boundaries with this person. If you really like this person, make a date with them for coffee or lunch and tell them how important your project is so they understand.
  2. Your boyfriend tells you he wants to date other people.  The thought of it crushes you.  Don’t shrink just so you can have him in your life.  Move on.  That is compromising your respect and will only get worse if you “accept his terms.”
  3. Flattery.  Beware when someone is kissing your butt or throwing out compliments to “get something from you.”  This happened to me recently with my improv group.  A VERY successful theatre company contacted me regarding “working together.”  Here is an edited version of the email exchange and how I called their bluff:

Famous Theatre Company:  Good morning!  (Includes impressive resume of movie and TV stars) We want to perform  in “xyz.”  We would love to talk to you about working together in a mutually beneficial partnership.

Me:  Yes we are aware of who you are.  I’m interested in discussing what you have in mind regarding a mutually beneficial partnership.  Every improv group in the area would LOVE to work with this group. We are talking instant marketability.  Obvious no brainer.  But I’m not stupid.  Why would they want to work with our little group?  What’s in it for them? I’m just going to let him talk.

Famous Theatre Company:  We are reaching out to the most excellent improv group in the greater “xyz” area for information on how to break out performing and teaching at schools and theatres in “xyz.”  In exchange for the information you give us we’ll throw you a few tickets to our show in “xyz.”

Me:  Wow.  I wonder how many groups actually fall for that condescending flattery for a couple $10.00 theatre tickets.  It’s obnoxious to ask anyone to do that much work for them in the name of “partnership.”  I don’t care who you are!  LOL.  I have a busy day.  I’ll laugh about it with those I’m close to and answer him tomorrow.

Me:  (late the next day)  Wow…that’s quite a compliment…most excellent improv group in the “xyz” area.  I wasn’t aware that you’ve seen us perform?

LOL.  Crap called on.  He won’t be wasting my time anymore.  Or respect.  I’m not mad.  I’m amused.  But he wouldn’t be sending out these emails if it didn’t work with some people. Don’t be a person who falls for flattery.  I do not care who it is.  Even Famous Theatre Company should be treating people with respect.  Here is the awesome thing:  I now have a testimonial from this Famous Theatre Company.  How I choose to take their “flattery” is up to me.  I mean, I think we are an excellent improv group!  (sassy smile)  And I respect myself enough to own it.  Now go own yours. Know your life values.  Practice communicating them.  When someone crosses the line with you do not be afraid to let them know in the politely.  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. How NOT to be Late Night Booty Call Girl
  2. Outsmart Back Stabbers!
  3. Confidence:  Signs You’re a Sassy Bitch

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Healthy Eating for Pleasure!

Healthy eating,adventure,love,healthy cooking,healthy recipies
Healthy eating pasta recipe found at: The Berry  I cannot wait to try!


Healthy eating.  Always in “vogue” after the New Year.  Time to go on a diet, right?  Yeah…I want to throw something at me too.  We’re into the third week of January.  Are you still going strong with your new healthy eating habits? Yup. This is right about the time where you would KILL for anything high fat.  For me it would be a cinnamon roll.  How do you stop wanting to murder someone for your favorite food? Change it up. Make healthy eating into more of an adventure.  Food is a pleasure.  Make it a goal to start healthy eating for pleasure.

healthy eating, how to eat healthy, healthy recipies,love, adventure,
Don’t do this to yourself, honey! Don’t like carrots? Find something you DO! I love this pic found at She Knows Canada

How do you eat healthy and for pleasure?  It really isn’t that hard.  You do have to plan.  This insures that you don’t get bored.  And craving that cinnamon roll!  Salad can get real boring if you don’t change it up!  Eating the same bland foods?  Ditto!  And it’s important to do this before boredom sets in.  Just the thought of one more broccoli slaw salad*** last week made me want to protest (and that’s being nice)  So get creative and keep changing it up:

  1. Make a master list of all things healthy.  Cross off things you abhor.
  2. Keep an open mind regarding what you abhor.  LOL.  I abhor cauliflower.  One day I was at the market and there was a yummy sounding roasted cauliflower side item.  Cauliflower golden roasted with garlic and a sprinkling of parmesan cheese.  I couldn’t believe it when I actually liked it!
  3. Add texture to salads.  I love adding pumpkin, pepitas, all things seeds for crunch.  Make a Greek salad with all veggies. Try different home-made vinaigrettes.  Vinaigrettes are easy to make and you can add so much to them.  Spices and herbs you love, for example.  I’ve been making a lime, garlic and cumin one lately that is very yummy.  Add fruit like apples, pomegranates, oranges, pears, mangoes etc to your salads.
  4. Healthy waffles with fresh fruit…microwave frozen blueberries, mash then put on top of waffles.  YUM!
  5. Stuff bibb lettuce with artichoke hearts, peppers, avocado, cheese…anything that you love in a sandwich.  The bibb lettuce saves you carbs for something else…like baked potato chips, popcorn or crackers.
  6. Flax is loaded with omega 3s.  It’s easy to add to cereals, yogurt, baked items. For more information click on this link to WebMD.

Give yourself a break, too. If something is too healthy and you don’t like it?  Don’t eat it!  I am not a fan of the green juice thing.  I’m sure it is fabulous for you.  I’ll find a way to compensate with things I love.  I’ll try pretty much anything if it sounds good.  The other night, however, I had a “meal” that was just a bit too healthy for me.  It sounded good but Jeez!  I don’t know how they did it, but they made sunflower seeds taste bland.  And sun-dried tomatoes didn’t taste good either.  Very disappointing.  I joked with my dinner companion that I would have to have dinner when I got home!  Which I did.

Below are more links for ideas to change-up your healthy eating so you don’t get bored to tears.  AND I included my broccoli slaw salad recipe.  It really is quite good…just don’t eat it every day! Love, Goddess

For more inspiration:

  1. Healthy Eating on Food Network  
  2. Healthy Foods to Have on Hand
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home


***Broccoli Salad Recipe:  Broccoli slaw, granny smith apple, avocado, green pepper, pumpkin seeds, blue or goat cheese, above lime vinaigrette recipe (olive oil, red wine vinegar, dash cumin and garlic powder, salt and pepper, squirt of dijon mustard)

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Inspirational Stories Scarlett O’Hara

inspirational stories
Gone With the Wind image from Pretty Clever Films

I have him right where I want him and I don’t even have to bat my eyes!

“What a woman!”  Rhett Butler says admirably.

One of my favorite inspirational stories is about the bitchiest of all Bitches-Scarlett O’Hara.  Scarlett is spoiled, willful, selfish, catty and outrageous. Don’t try to take what Scarlett has. Just ask the Northern soldier who tried to rob her.  Oh wait, you can’t because Scarlett killed him.  Scarlett O’Hara is feminine on crack.  She has no shame and doesn’t care what you say or think about her. She is a brazen vixen in soft organza ruffles, calling you on your crap in a second.  She will not apologize unless it furthers her agenda.  I love how she turns men into putty:

  1. Just for fun-in one conversation-Scarlett gets her sisters’ fiancée to dump her sister and engaged to HER!
  2. Frank has been working hard to become successful and worthy of marriage to Scarlett’s’ other sister.  In one conversation Scarlett gets him to marry her instead.
  3. Even Ashley, despite being a devoted husband and father, breaks down and kisses her passionately.
  4. Rhett Butler-a man’s man if there ever was one, adores her in all her feminine bitchy glory.  Her fire and passion amuse and fascinate him.

On one hand, Scarlett is a role model for women.  On the other hand?  She is a Drama Queen in full glory.  I would never use the phony tears.  I would never hurt other women the way she does.  So what inspired me about Scarlett despite the drama?  Scarlett never gave up and how that benefited everyone around her. When I find myself needing some inspiration, motivation or a good old-fashioned kick in the butt, I ask myself this:  What would Scarlett do?  She’d flirt and seduce until she got it. Starving and no money for a presentable outfit?  She finds a solution. Old curtains were turned into a fetching ensemble for her prey, Rhett. (See above)  Other tasks she handled deftly:

  1. Helping Melanie give birth just as the North was attacking where she happened to be:  Atlanta. 
  2. After escaping Atlanta she arrived home to find Tara ruined.  Her Mom dead and her Dad insane after all the loss the family suffered. She realizes it’s up to her to see to it that Tara is restored so the family survives and thrives.
  3. Starvation and high taxes she can’t pay imposed by Northern carpetbaggers are handled by our Miss Scarlett.

Throughout the chaos in Gone With the Wind, Scarlett is the one who stays sane, focused and the protector of the family and Tara.  Her marriages were all about that.  She had no time for love.  She was honest with Rhett when she told him she was marrying him for his money. She couldn’t love anyone (not even Ashley) until she succeeded in restoring Tara. When she realized she loved Rhett, he was on his way out the door.  He tells her he “doesn’t give a damn,” and leaves her begging for him to stay.  The movie ends with Scarlett saying she is going to get him back.  Is there one doubt she did?  To me there is zero.  She realizes she loves him but first must take care of new drama…picking up the pieces after Melanie’s death.  Loving people do that.  Take care of things and people. While she tends to Melanie and her family, Rhett can cool off and get his rest.  Because soon the Scarlett who knows what she wants…Rhett Butler…is coming for him.

We all have an inner Scarlett O’Hara.  Discover yours and rent the movie Gone With the Wind when you’re looking for inspirational stories to kick you in the sass!  Love, Goddess

For More:

  1. Anger-What is It?
  2. Join our sassy group on Facebook:  Bitch Lifestyle
  3. What You Can Do to Land a Man!  Gimme a Break… 

I dedicate this post to my best friend Mary Ann, who has all the best qualities of Scarlett while expertly keeping her Drama Queen in check.

© S Stevens Life Strategies