In Celebration Phenomenal Woman Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou
Kick *** inspiration image + quote from Maya Angelou found at Feministing.com

Maya Angelou…inspirational Goddess.

Tuesday night I was going through the pages I love to read for Bitch Lifestyle on Facebook.  I read Maya Angelou’s … one of my favorites.  She had been sick for a long time and she posted about it frequently.  Despite her illness, she was always upbeat, always inspiring, always a strong and sassy woman.  There was something different about this latest post to me.  I was having a hard time putting my thoughts together.  I couldn’t find the right thing to say in her comment section, never a problem before.  The reason why was because my Bitch voice was telling me something that I didn’t want to hear.  My Bitch voice was telling me this was it.  Who wants to listen to that truth?  When you are in tune with your Bitch, and all the women around you are in tune with their Bitch, you just know.  You feel it.  You feel them.  My Sassy Bitch intuition was telling me she was leaving us.  As I write this I’m crying.  Sad for the reality and in awe of the power.  Crying because our inner truth is so powerful.  Even with the women we don’t know personally.  And it’s scary.

The next day after running errands, yesterday, I opened my AOL and there she was.  A beautiful picture of Maya.  She had died.  Shocked because a few hours earlier I knew.  My Sassy Bitch intuition has been unbelievably accurate lately.  I could tell you things that would make you flip!  My intuition/Bitch voice.  Your intuition/Bitch voice.  It is so powerful.  It gives you incite that will make you…uh FLIP.   That voice who only looks out for you and sees the truth before the world.  That voice that connects you to other such powerful, inspirational women.  Women are all kindred spirits.

So in celebration of Maya Angelou, please create a little ritual for her, for you and all other women out there.  The powerful women, the mothers, the leaders and the repressed. Create a gorgeous place for your ritual.  Do whatever you need to do to feel beautiful and sacred as a woman.  Here is the link for her poem “Still I Rise.” Print it out and read it out loud. Really feel the celebration of woman in it.  To honor Maya and every other woman on the planet.

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Relationship Advice: The Seductress in Action

Relationship Advice: The Seductress in Action, minette helvetius,mae west,ninon de lenclos, frank leslie,
Image of Minette Helvetius from the fab blog Raucous Royals

“Oh, there’s life in the old girl yet.” Graham Green

Relationship Advice: The Seductress in Action.  Old women can’t seduce, can’t charm, aren’t desirable?

Please.

Society is obsessed with youth.  With beauty.  What’s the deal with older women?  How do they capture the attention of those in the room from their younger counterparts?  Despite being stigmatized by society as being “over the hill,” “menopause mamas,” and “ugly and old.”  ?  Older seductresses are not swayed by these insults.  They don’t see them as such. They see them as a challenge to put the dissenters in their place. The back of the room!  Succumb to their “age issue?  Please.  Sassy Bitches roll their eyes at this judgement and forge ahead with their passions and desires. The ones that really get this disarm anyone who doesn’t respect them.  How?

  1. They disarm with brilliant conversation
  2. Older Seductresses know that men are attracted to older women on a deep level.  Men are attracted to their wisdom, wit, maternal nurture and seismic sexuality

Ninon De Lenclos took a lover at the age of 80 as a birthday present.  The amusing thing about this?  The man had approached her about making love to her when she was in her youth. Finally, tired of rejecting him she told him she would bed him “When I’m 80.”  He took her literally and he was on her doorstep the moment she turned 80.  Amused, she granted him his desire.  Many years earlier she decided to do something about mens’ cluelessness toward women.  She opened “The School of Gallantry,” to educate them on all things feminine.

Isabella Stewart Gardner was considered “old and ugly.”  Despite this, she landed the hottest, wealthiest bachelor in Boston and had throngs of young men follow her where ever she went.

Minette Helvetius didn’t see her wrinkles and moles at 61.  She saw all the life that was to be lived!  She had weekly jamborees at her salon in Paris.  She would greet all the men…the scholars, statesmen, poets and philosphers with delight.  These were the most sought after men in Paris and they wouldn’t miss a party thrown by Minette!  Seventy year old Benjamin Frankin felt like a young boy in her presence and was completely infatuated.   She repeatedly refused his offers of marriage.  She told him she was devoted to her salon and personal freedom.  Check out Raucous Royals for a fab article on Minette Helvetius.

Diane de Poitiers:  King Henry the II never made a decision without consulting Diane and couldn’t live without her. Despite Diane being 20 years older him.  Despite her “menopausal malady.” Which was attacked by the young and comely Queen Catherine de’ Medici.  Queen Catherine failed in her attempts to rid herself of Diane.

Relationship Advice: The Seductress in Action, minette helvetius,mae west,ninon de lenclos, frank leslie,
Image of Diane de Poitiers found on You Tube. Check out the video for more on her life.

Mae West would hand pick her studs for the night.  What was her secret?  No late nights, alcohol, cigarettes and sunlight.  She ate lots of healthy food, drank lots of bottled water and loved to exercise.  Mae was so orgasmic she could climax in thirty seconds.  Uhm…WOW!

Late nineteenth century no place for an independent woman?  Have you ever heard of Mrs. Frank Leslie? She made out with men and money.  She used a mans’ name to rake them all in:  success, husbands, lovers and money.  She was in her prime for all those pleasures in her sixties!  Don’t think you can have a Marquis and a Prince coming to blows over you in your sixties?  Mrs. Frank Leslie did in her parlor one night.  You are not living your ecstasy, honey… up your Sassy Bitch!

So the next time anyone makes you feel old, ugly or inadequate…remember these HOT Mamas.  They took the insults hurled at them and spun them into success and sexy GOLD. When any lady does this, young OR old…this is power.  Use it wisely.  (Warm and Sassy Smile) Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading and a Course for ACTION!

  1. My Course: Bridge the Gap Between Mars and Venus!
  2. One of my FAVE books!  Seductress
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Love Games An Outrageous Proposal

love games, Genevieve Lanthelme,outrageous proposal,
Image of Genevieve Lanthelme from Amis et Passionnes

 

Love Games…an outrageous proposal.

I love this story about Genevieve Lanthelme from Book of the Courtesans! Genevieve Lanthelme was a beautiful actress that was raised in her mothers’ brothel.  She was put to work there at age 14.  From the moment she was born she had a fierce independence.  She rejected the profession fate had chosen for her:  being a prostitute.  She studied acting at the Conservatoire and even though she was offered a position at the Comedie-Francaise she rejected this.  She wanted to perform at the popular theatres on the boulevards of Paris.  And she did…becoming a sensation! Audiences were charmed by her performances onstage and off.  Audiences were particularly interested in her lovers…both men and women.

One of her lovers was Alfred Edwards who gave her an elegant home filled with the most gorgeous furniture. His wife, Misia, was none too pleased.  Misia was also successful in the Paris theatre world. She was a successful producer and very powerful.  Misia planned a meeting with Lanthelme very carefully. She studied Lanthelme closely.  Misia matched her clothes, dress and rehearsed Lanthelmes’ charming dramatic appeal.  Misias’ intention? Confront Lanthelme in “mirror image” and deliver the following lines:

“You have a woman’s heart.”

Then…demanding…

“Give him back!”

Unfortunately Misia had no idea who she was dealing with.  Lanthelme was 3 steps ahead of Misia without even knowing her.  Lanthelme didn’t want to burn any bridges with her rivals’ wife.  The wife was a powerful player in the Paris theatre world.  She knew of Misia’s plans. And was prepared.  Upon Misia’s arrival:

  • Lanthelme had Misia wait for her in her salon…beneath a gorgeous painting of Lanthelme by the artist Boldini.
  • Lanthelme disarmed Misia with her entrance.  Not only with her breathtaking beauty, but with the charm at which she greeted her vistor…Misia.
  • Lanthelme showered her with compliments, discussed the theatre season and asked if she could help Misia in ‘any way.”

Thoroughly flustered, Misia told Lanthelme that she came to discuss her husband.  Lanthelme said there was “absolutely nothing to worry about.”  She told Misia he “hardly interested her.”  Then she abruptly changed her tactics:

She told her she could “really have him.”  On three conditions:  “I want the necklace you’re wearing,  a million francs and YOU.”

That did it.  Misia…not even acknowledging condition #3, removed her necklace, gave it to Lanthelme, promised she would receive the francs in a few days and hurried out the door. When Misia returned to her hotel, a package was waiting for her.  Inside the package were her necklace and a note that said:

“I have decided to to forget the money and return the necklace.  I am holding you only to the third condition.”

LOL…I haven’t been able to find out much more about Lanthelme except this brief entry in Wikipedia:  Geneviève Lantelme  She died of an apparent drowning…people think she may have been murdered.  One of the dangers of being beautiful, talented and highly spirited, maybe.  The reason why I wanted to share with you is that nothing seemed to get this lady down.  Not the brothel, the “you can’t do that,” not the powerful woman/rival.  She was a woman of passion and determination.  She used charm to disarm her enemies. Enemies do not expect to be treated with respect. People competing with you do not think you will treat them with respect.  It throws them for a loop when you are charming, helpful and polite!

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”   Bitch 101

Who knows?  With a little charm and caring you may turn your worse enemies into faithful friends. Or not.  Bottom line:  You are handling the situation in an empowering way.  And that is what matters!  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. Ninon De Lenclos
  2. Think You’re Too Old and Ugly to be a Seductress? Think Again!
  3. Seductress

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Dating Advice for Women Red Flags

Dating Advice for Women Red Flags
Anne Taintor image from Anne Taintor.com

Make it a cold day in hell before you become vulnerable to these sorts of men!

Dating Advice for Women Red Flags…

The first few dates are a great way to “qualify” a man.  Does he meet your dating requirements?  See or review:  YOU choose the Man  This is the stage where you make sure that this man earns the right for you to become more vulnerable to him.  If we become vulnerable to the wrong man…oh the heartache!  We’ve all been there.  We must continually look beyond “how cute he is” and see the real man beneath.  The man beneath who is either really good for us or really bad for us.  Below are a couple huge red flags in dating.  First the flag and then, in italics, the reason you may want to run!

  1. Red Flag #1:   He is a really bad tipper.  There are numerous reasons for this being a red flag in dating.  NUMEROUS.  When I’m out on a date and a man is a bad tipper?  I seriously question his willingness to give.  The waiter/waitress is giving him service.  He does not appreciate what they’re doing for him.  Question that should be going through your mind:  If I give to him will he appreciate it?  
  2. Red Flag #2:  He is rude to service people.  This one really gets me.  Again, people are giving to him and his response is to be rude.  Trust me.  If he can do this to people he doesn’t even know well?  What can he do to you?  Worse yet…  This sort of man is a coward and a bully.  He picks on people when he knows he can get away with it.  RUN from this type of person.
  3. Red Flag #3:  When you ask about his past relationships he disrespects his exes.  Whoa.  So he can do no wrong?  Did he learn anything from them? Question carefully because if he hasn’t learned anything from past relationships YOU will be the next woman he disrespects. 

It’s so important to be aware when you are getting to know someone!  Are you letting your lust rule or your Bitch rule? Who Controls You … Your Bitch or Your Brat?  It doesn’t seem to be a problem when we go out on a date we aren’t that excited about.  But then…make him drop dead gorgeous and add chemistry?  Uh oh…suddenly our Bitch starts to go to sleep, the Drama Queen awakens and does everything she can to screw it up!  Here are examples of how the Drama Queen (in italics) and the Sassy Bitch (in italics) handle those red flags from above:

The Drama Queen:

Man:  Drops $2.00 tip on the table for an $80.00 dinner.  Drama Queen notices how “strong his hands are” and is thinking about how they would feel on her.

Man:  “Hey Waiter!  I asked you for water 10 minutes ago…where the hell is it?”  Drama Queen is enamored by how “forceful” he is.

Man:  Is dissing the women he has dated in the past.  “They just didn’t understand me.”  Drama Queen is saying to herself:  “Oh they didn’t understand you!  Those women are so stupid!  I will understand you!  Always!”

The Sassy Bitch:

Man:  Drops $2.00 tip on the table for an $80.00 dinner.  The Sassy Bitch is annoyed that he’s so cheap.  On the way out she gives the waiter $15.

Man:  “Hey Waiter!  I asked you for water 10 minutes ago…where the hell is it?”  The Sassy Bitch asks the man in an unemotional tone:  “Do you always talk to people giving to you that way?”  Man says something that doesn’t fly.  The Sassy Bitch looks at her watch, thanks him for dinner and tells him she has an early day.  Then leaves.

Man:  Is dissing the women he has dated in the past.  “They just didn’t understand me.”  The Sassy Bitch has already checked out.  She may finish her drink, she may not.  When he is done she says in an unemotional tone:  “Thanks for the drink.  I have an early day tomorrow.  Have a nice night.”  Then leaves.

Notice the trend here?  The Drama Queen is thinking with her lust.  The Sassy Bitch studies, questions and gets to know the man first.  To make sure he is worthy of her precious time and heart.

In conclusion…take care of yourself and what you value in a person from the very first date.  Love, Goddess

Interesting Reading and Where to Go for more!

  1. Confidence Quotes from Brainy Quote
  2. Private Coaching with me:  Your Re-Awakening
  3. Get Positive!  Positive sites on the web to inspire:  Gimundo 

© S Stevens Life Strategies