By   September 21, 2010

Stress Management and Anger

Hissy Fit Kitty found at Strawberry Indigo

Anger is scary if you let it be.  Don’t let anger win.  I was scared to get angry for years.  In our polite society it’s not something you do:  get angry.  You wouldn’t want to hurt “someones feelings” or “say the wrong thing.”  (written with sarcasm)  Oh no.  It’s okay for YOU to be on the other end of the anger stick though.  If someone is a jerk we have been trained to suck it up.  The result?  After years of “sucking it up,” we can get even more pissed.  Result:  We may release it in a bad way:  hello road rage.  Or, it could go somewhere in our body and turn up as hypertension, ulcers or cancer.  Here’s my “Three Phase Process to Deal with Anger.”  It helped me, I hope it helps you.  If not, keep looking.  Humans are blessed with emotions.  Some good, some bad.  It’s up to us to find the best way for each of us to conquer it in our own individual way.  One way that helps me?  Getting physical.  Kick boxing, long walks.  Vigorous exercise helps me release!!!  Research and discover what works for YOU.

Phase One:  Acknowledging and releasing negative emotions.  Your body is an amazing thing.  There’s a fascinating book by Louise Hay called “You Can Heal Your Life.”  It’s all about listening to your body, its symptoms, and sickness, etc.   How this helps you take better care of yourself.  When I first started dealing with years of being too nice and pent up anger, I broke out with the biggest pimples ever.  Worse than when I was a teenager.  The ones from my teen years would go away.  Not these.  From the book:

Pimples:  Small outbursts of anger.

The pimples was my body telling me to let go of the anger.  The enormous pimples that would not go away were symbolic of all the anger below the surface.  Years of not telling people what I really think of situations had taken it’s toll.   The anger had no where else to go and was literally overflowing out of my body.  The real, feisty me was hidden under loads of gunk.  Like the yucky gunk in pimples.  The pimples only went away after I had dealt with my anger.

Phase Two:  Practice communicating in a firm, blunt, unemotional manner.  The Bitches’ way.  That’s power and being in control.  You want it?  Ya gotta work at it.  When you have to deal with a difficult solution try this:  On top of a sheet of paper, write down what you want the end result to be.  Your Bitch Goal.  Below Bitch Goal and to the right:  supporting points.  To the left:  Anything that may throw a wrench in you obtaining your Bitch Goal.  Start with one little Bitch Goal a day, week, whatever.   Play your cute butt off with it.  You’re a gorgeous, playful seductress and can seduce anyone into doing anything.  If you feel anger creeping in—and you will, re-visit phase One.

Third phase:  Knowing and owning your anger and fear.  Anger and fear will be replace with determination and sassy fun.  Your Bitch has arrived.   There will be setbacks, but you will be so much more accomplished in dealing with them!  It’s so worth it.

Let’s recap:

Phase One=Releasing the Anger:  Kick box, dance, run as fast as you can, do whatever you can to get rid of it.  Vent to your best friend.  Just do it.  This may take awhile.  Keep focus on victory.

Phase Two=Practice calmly dealing with people and situations that anger you:  Practice expressing your opinion, displeasure, etc in a clear, unemotional way.  Keep focused on your Bitch Goal.  Again, practice makes perfect.

Phase Three=Owning your sexy sassy Bitchy self:  Adding that dash of fun and sass happens naturally when you’re confident that people and situations that try to piss you off have no control over you.  Bonus: you’ll simmer with charisma.

So get in there beautiful and fight for you by releasing anger and practice voicing that hot opinion of yours!  If you have questions, let me know.  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. Validation
  2. Why Are Some People So Mean?
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home  

© S Stevens Life Strategies

One Comment on “Anger IS Scary. Don’t Let Anger Win

  1. Jacklyn

    My whole problem is I was always afraid to let my anger go and express it as I grew up. I was always the calm and nice one that never had a ill thing to say to anyone. I am better at expressing my anger now then I used too. This past weekend it was a combo of getting my cycle 3 days early and me wanting to do what I wanted to do b/c of it. They (my friend)were mostly concerned about my safety and the fact I did not bring a pillow with me to sit on for comfort in the first place because I forgot. Having back pain and cramping did not help at all and so, I was rude to them. Not justifying my outburst of anger, but still think that the situation could have gone better if I expressed myself in a calmer and more direct approach. Whether that would have changed things, I do not know. I apologized for my outburst and attitude, but do not know how our relationship will be. The only thing I know to do is love them and hope that things get better.

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