I’m dedicating this post to a man that treats me like a Goddess. I haven’t been deserving of this title. I haven’t fully appreciated how lovely he is to me. What a Brat. He’s thoughtful: fun phone calls, gifts and always greets me with a huge smile. Want some fun irony? He couldn’t stand me when we first met.
We were acting in a play together. I’m friendly with everyone I meet. I knew he didn’t like me. He was flippant, impatient and gave me looks that said: “You’re so full of it. You aren’t sincere.” But I was even more patient with him. I wouldn’t let his attitude get me down. We had scenes together and I wanted to make them work. So despite being a jerk, I would smile and chat with him. One night he said to me:
“You know…when I first met you I didn’t like you. I thought your friendly nature was BS. I was wrong. You are a wonderful person.”
Wow, huh? He has been a Prince to me since. I’m lucky that I have met a real man—in a boys’ world.
That was years ago. He has never forgotten my birthday, phones every Holiday and listens intently when I talk about my passions. The first gift he gave me were DVDs of Buster Keaton, knowing I loved him as a comedian and filmmaker. He has given me beautiful cards, music and even a crazy video (he admitted so) with a hot Rose McGowen on the cover because he thought she looked like me. (Insert blush here)
Here’s the part that’s crappy of me. Where I admit my non-appreciation. I’ve only watched or listened to half the gifts he’s given me. Again, what a brat. He called to wish me a Happy Easter. All I could think of was how I wasn’t worthy of his thoughtfulness. What a hypocrite I was. How many times had I been disappointed when I’d given friends thoughtful gifts? Gifts they had forgotten I had given to them? I’ve had people say to me: “I finally read that book you gave me,” “I haven’t listened to it yet,” etc. It would really hurt. I’d been doing the same thing to Kevin.
How can I expect someone to truly love and appreciate me when I don’t do the same in return? Or worst, I do so “selectively” in return. How many jerky guys have I adored that would forget important things to me like my birthday? Or I would support them over and over and then when it was time for me they were no where to be found? Worse, I would have to ask them to support me? That was when I was a Brat. Now that I’m a Bitch I can look what I’m doing wrong and fix it. Make even more room in my life for those, like Kevin, who do things consistently to make me smile.
Have you done this in your life? Are you too busy to slow down and appreciate the gifts people give you? That was my excuse with Kevin. No more. Daniel is another wonderful man in my life. A man who adores me. And I’m really scared regarding him. Is he the man that wins my heart? I don’t know. But fear is a future emotion, remember? http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/05/fear-is-a-future-emotion/
That isn’t the important thing right now. I have to work harder at appreciating the men who adore me. Fully. Then…I can take in more. Delicious more…
© S Stevens Life Strategies
1. Bitchy vs. Bratty: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/08/bitchy-vs-bratty/
2. Our Love Affair Day Two: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/our-own-love-affair-day-two/
3. Fear is a Future Emotion: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/05/fear-is-a-future-emotion/