Bitch Lifestyle » Drama Queen

Cowardice and The Bitch

Goddesspower — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 18:00:03 +0000

Image from: www.zazzle.com/lion_poster-228206877438867976

The Online Dictionary definition of cowardice:

Cowardice \Cow”ard*ice\ (-[i^]s), n. [F. couardise, fr. couard. See Coward.] Want of courage to face danger; extreme timidity; pusillanimity; base fear of danger or hurt; lack of spirit.

Everyone has fear. Everyone has things to do that aren’t easy, or that they don’t want to do. How you handle these things show whether you’re a coward or not. Saturday night I was depending on someone for a show I was producing. An hour before the show he flaked by email. He knew I wouldn’t get the email until the next day. This is a coward. I was able to fix the problem easily regarding the show. I like to focus on getting things done and not the drama. Not easy in the theatre business. There are a lot of Drama Queens to deal with.

Emailing and texting is designed for quick, concise communication. If you want to learn how to communicate clearly in 160 words or less, Twitter is a fantastic tool. However, I have people following me on Twitter that promote “ending relationships” or “tell them what you think without confronting them over TEXT messages. TEXT messages. And these are popular businesses! If you don’t make time for important discussions in person, you’re a coward.

Not having important discussions in person can impact your life negatively:

1. Over time, the drama of dealing with people in person will become more unpleasant than it should be. You may agonize for hours over something that could’ve been dealt with in minutes.

2. People will lose respect for you and think you’re a wuss. The definition of “wuss” from the Free Online Dictionary: wuss : n. Slang A person regarded as weak or timid and especially as unmanly. Because of this lack of respect, people may not listen to your points of view or flat out ignore them.

Discussing and solving problems in person makes you a stronger person because:

1. When life throws you curve balls and life is zooming at 200 miles per hour, this strength will serve you. You’ll be able to adapt and communicate clearly. Instead of thinking about what to say in a text or on the phone, you’ll be able to state your case in person. Your heart may still beat faster at first, but I’d swap a few fast heart beats for being a wuss anyday.

2. You’ll scare a lot of people if you are upfront, blunt and charming. That’s power. Remember Dolly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBf5Y0KIUHk

3. You’ll attract and keep people in your inner circle who are not cowards and wussies. They’ll have your back. Cowards don’t.

4. Think about all the extra time you’ll free up by taking charge and not agonizing. You’ll have plenty of time for these: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/06/get-outrageous/

What I found most interesting in the cowardice definition: The “lack of spirit.” Mmmmm…lack of spirit. That’s so hot when you think about it. Cowards don’t fight for their wants, desires, dreams, or themselves. Too afraid to offend anybody, they don’t say anything. They’re non-confrontational and send a text. Power is knowing that you can calmly discuss something without getting emotional. Facing those fears. A Bitch understands this. She faces fears and difficult situations with relish. And that’s spirit! Love, Goddess

Living Life Full Throttle

Goddesspower — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 19:03:29 +0000

For the last week I’ve been a little stressed thinking about all I wanted to accomplish with my career and life. Maybe it’s the Spring Fever. And I’ve been boiling. Then something happened that was so cool. Something that was designed to make me feel insecure, jealous, angry, bitter and hurt. It didn’t. It inspired instead. It made me realize how much time people wasted being enmeshed in the ”nonsense and drama.”

Here was the inspiration: An email from someone who looked me up on Facebook. A woman who sent me an email about a man I know. She wanted a reaction: To make me jealous, to hurt me or him or I was a threat to her. I don’t know and I don’t care. I read it, deleted it and felt sad for her and this kind of behavior. What a time waster to seek out someone you don’t know to get a reaction out of them. We’ve got drama queen going on full blast here, ladies. Don’t let these women have any power over you. Leave the Drama Queen to her castle and get back to your Palace.

So I sit here now thinking of the past week. All I’ve lived. Thankful that my life is filled with opportunity and fun. Grateful that I’m not wasting time stewing on something I’ve no control over. I’ve begun a new business opportunity that will take me a step closer to financial freedom. I’ve agreed to do something I’d never done before: performing in a 26 hour improv marathon this weekend. The biggest non-slumber party ever! I received my favorite chocolates as a gift: Champagne Truffles from Teuscher, Switzerland (delicious and decadent; they’re made with Belgium chocolate and Dom Perignon) And there is so much more!

When Drama Queen enters your life, have a Worry Party to honor and dispatch her http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/09/turn-worry-into-fun/. Bitches don’t waste time hunting down people to blame or hurt for their problems! So I’m sending you all a champagne truffle toast to our fun, adventurous lives and our beauty. To kissing the Drama Queens goodbye and embracing the good stuff: Living life full throttle.

Love, Goddess

Who Controls You, Your Bitch or Your Brat?

Goddesspower — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:43:38 +0000

Who controls you, your Bitch or your Brat? Do you see the wonder around you or do you choose to wallow in the dirt? The Bitch sees the joy. The Brat wallows. We have both in us, hotties. Here are the traits of the Joyful Bitch and the Drama Queen Brat:

The Bitch at Work: Loves what she’s doing. She feels fulfilled and enjoys each goal and aspiration met. She doesn’t whine about a problem she solves the problem.

The Brat at Work: Hates what she is doing, whines and bemoans her job and gets too involved with the Drama Queens and Kings at the office or wherever she hangs her career cap.

The Bitch at Home: Whatever the size or limitations, has done everything she can to make her home her castle. It’s clean, neat and organized. (And she cuts herself slack if it’s not always perfect) It’s full of things that make her comfortable: pictures, music, aromas, food and fond memories that make her smile. She makes the most of what she has and is grateful for all she has produced.

The Brat at Home: Looks at everything she has and laments the things she doesn’t have. Nothing is ever good enough, pretty enough, expensive enough. She cannot see the joy around her everyday because she chooses to see what she doesn’t have.

The Single Bitch: Her life is full of friends, activities and passions that fulfill her. She never “settles” in a relationship because “settling” is far worse than being single.

The Single Brat: Laments she doesn’t have a man in her life, berates women who do and competes with other women over any guy in their orbit. She doesn’t appreciate the freedom of being single. It’s all about whining about not “finding the one,” “the perfect guy” and being “lonely.”

The Bitch in a Relationship: Appreciates everything her man does for her. She is always happy to see him and tells him so. When he disrespects her she is polite but unemotional. That puts the disrespect ball firmly in her court. If he is a man he’ll be jumping through hoops to try and make things up to her. If he’s a boy he’ll do various things like pout and try and blame it on her. Which of course, won’t fly.

The Brat in a relationship: Worries about “where things are going.” She wonders when he will “pop” the marriage question and over analyzes everything a man does or says. She gives up things she likes to do and pouts when he wants to have a beer with his buddies. She calls and texts him constantly. She allows disrespect from her man because she is afraid of losing him. What she doesn’t understand is she has already lost him by these actions.

The Bitch has made a choice. So has the Brat. What is more fun…wallowing in what you don’t have or enjoying the hell out of what you do? I’ve found that when I focus on the positive, more positive comes my way. Yup. I get down. We all do. That’s why I have a whole subject on this web site called “Drama Queen.” It’s where we can acknowledge all the drama in our lives and then take steps to be done with it. And have a little fun in the process! Then we can get back to all the Bitchy Sassiness. The only thing you can control in life is the positive attitude you put forth when bad happens.

So…what’s your choice, hot ones? Love, Goddess

Venting Anger 101

Goddesspower — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:57:53 +0000

I looked up “venting anger” on the Internet today. I was curious about what the cyber world had on this subject. A Blog called “The Happiness Project” discusses the Myth “Venting Anger Releases it,” The New York Times says that venting anger may stave off some illness, but may cause more harm than good. There are articles that say venting anger does absolutely no good. Mashable has 24+ Sites Where You Can Vent Your Anger http://mashable.com/2008/03/09/vent-your-anger/, there’s a YouTube song declaring anger a weakness http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wsHMwbwdXg and the Buddists online say it’s a weakness, too. http://www.viewonbuddhism.org/anger.htm Wow…seems like a hot topic. Couldn’t resist a little levity, you know me. Wink! All the different viewpoints, actions to take and differences of opinion were confusing. All the articles declaring the weakness and toxicity of anger didn’t make me feel good either. So let’s sift away all the noise and agree on the bottom line.

Bottom Line: We get angry.

LOL. So how do we process this enormous land slide of contradicting information? So we can deal with it constructively? We embrace the anger. It’s a part of us! It happens. So let’s experiment by giving anger “structure” in our lives. Let’s first agree on this:

1. We all get angry. It’s a part of being human.

2. We’re all different. What works for one individual in getting rid of anger may not work for another.

3. We structure our “financial” “home” “family” and “work” lives, right? So why not give another part of our lives “dealing with anger” a little of the same respect?

How do we give anger structure and make it okay to do? We’ll make a plan and give it a fun name. Like an “anger budget.”

My 7 Day Affair with Anger: Get a notebook. Pick an appropriate color. Red with rage, Green with envy, Black with Anger. Write in it how you feel. Or use your computer word processor. When you get angry, write about it. Then do something to see if that relieves the anger. Make a list. Try a different one each day. Here are some suggestions to get you started:

Day One: Kick Box-my favorite!

Day Two: Find a friend for your “Anger Love Affair.” Write down what is angering you. Completely uncensored. Let it rip. Send it to your anger friend. Have them do the same. Don’t criticize or analyze. I got this idea from my lovely friend Mary Ann. We vent and see the beauty of the raw emotion and truth to what we are feeling. It feels so good to say what you really want to say in a safe, non-judging environment. We don’t do this every day, mind you! This works best for us when something major has happened, work, love, etc. But that’s us. You are different. Find your own venting “rhythm.”

Day Three: Research anger venting on the Internet. Find something you want to try and do it.

Day Four: This is tough. Discuss your anger while looking at yourself in a mirror.

Day Five: Choose a color (red?) palette in your closet and design your “anger outfit.” Wear it.

Day Six: Pick something from the above days. When you complete a task, do something fun. Take a hot shower, call a friend, dress up and have a yummy cocktail together. Put on your favorite perfumed lotion slower than slow. Watch your favorite funny movie, go to the fun category on this site and select something to do. http://bitchlifestyle.com/category/fun/

Day Seven: Analyse what you’ve learned this week. What felt good, what didn’t. Do what made you feel better more.

And that’s it. If you want to continue your “Anger Affair” by all means do. This is about you and only you. It may please you to do 3 days, or maybe an anger month. The point is, make something that is very human about us, our anger, and own it. Play with it, discover and spit all that weakness in the eye and party with it.

I would love to hear how this goes! Love, Goddess

Turn Worry into Fun!

Goddesspower — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:41:41 +0000

Turn “Worry” into Fun

What? Are you crazy Goddess? That’s right. Today the assignment is not an easy one. But it will become easier over time. Learning to “Party” with our “Worries.” First off I want to thank a wonderful man for this idea. One of my favorite all time quotes is from a football player named Rodney Harrison. Here it is:

“I love it when people doubt me.”

Mr. Harrison said it so perfectly. Instead of focusing on all the doubters doubting him, all the bad press, all the “cant’s” “no ways” and “forget its,” he focuses on the outcome…what will make him happy.

We all have people telling us what we can and can’t do. And if people aren’t telling us what we can and can’t do, they are probably telling us the right and or wrong ways we’re doing things. Which leaves us with a whole lot of doubt sometimes. But where does worry and doubt really get us? It gets us sleepless nights second guessing ourselves. We want to be successful but we are bombarded with so much information on how to do it. Right, wrong, blah, blah. So it’s time to step off the procrastination and worry train and fully believe that whatever your gut is telling you is the right thing. If you make a mistake? Cool. You learn. It’s not the end of the world. Pat yourself on the back because you are going for what you want…YAY you!

It’s so easy for us to fall into the “I have so much work to do and I don’t know how I’m going to do it scenario. I did it for a MONTH when I didn’t write for this blog. I was Excuse Goddess and here are a few of them: I have to build this web site; I have to figure out how to do this than and the other thing. I am not a techie. I’m on vacation (okay we’ll let that be a good reason…not an excuse) I have A, B, and C I’m in the middle of and I don’t have time. Guess what. All the worrying, fretting and bitching takes up TIME you could be focusing on all your beautiful progress. So what if you didn’t get all you wanted done in one day. As long as you do your best and focus on the positive side of it all…your success…so what? In fact we are really going to celebrate worry and doubt right now.

Throw a “Worry Party.” Seriously. Get your friends together and celebrate it.
1. Send invitations out that embody “worry.” Black, brown, ugly…just blah!
2. Name the food in celebration: “Procrastination Pate,” “Cheese Wheel of Worry.”
3. Serve really dark beverages.
4. Under dress code put “unattractive:” like your most unflattering and frumpy outfit.
5. Play pitiful music.
6. Have a “worry circle” where everyone gets to vent their worries. Discuss and lament your worries. Toast them.
7. Switch it. Take out your most empowering, fun, uplifting music and dance your booties off! Celebrate taking time to get all the worry out. Celebrate how clever you are for turning something not fun…into a party!

I can’t wait to hear how it goes! Love, Goddess

Bitchy vs. Bratty

Goddesspower — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:08:56 +0000

I lost my Bitch yesterday. She was replaced by the “Brat.”

It started off rather innocently. I had this picture of a seriously hot guy I was going to post for you. To top it off, the hot guy picture came with something hilarious. All courtesy of my super hot, sexy, amazing friend Mary Ann. I had the post all ready…and when I published it…it went poof. So did my computer. My computer spent the rest of the day going poof. I was getting more and more irritated and impatient. And the Brat took over the Bitch. Before the Bitch left she told me to take my own advice. Work out or dance the frustration out. So I go to Netflix to do my favorite Bitch work out: Jillian Michaels Cardio Kick Box. No longer could I instantly watch and do it. It was taken off the list. This is when the Brat officially took over.

I tried lots of things and they didn’t help. I worked out to another video. I watched the Patriots last night while savoring Brie, grapes and Pinot Noir. Didn’t do it for me. I thought about how irritated I was that I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. (I wish I had a baby’s rattle to throw down: It would have been perfect for this Drama Queen moment!) Does that happen to you? Does your Brat make you stew and keep your irritation/impatience going on for hours?

This morning I woke up early and realized what was going on. I was over thinking the whole thing. And I surrendered. Surrendered to the irritation, impatience and the Brat. I took an hour off work to do a Jillian work out, savored a long shower and gave myself a pedicure. And…LOL…I finally felt better.

Was it the work out? No.

Was it savoring a long shower? No.

Was it the pedicure? No.

It was the surrender.

Surrendering can be so powerful! In this world we are taught to be “in control” of everything. We live it every day of out lives. My Brat was my impatience taking over. We all know about my impatience problem http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/05/impatiencea-virtue/ Surrendering to my impatience led to the following conclusions:

1. It’s not my fault the post didn’t work. The picture/file was causing problems on my site and with my computer. I know this because when I closed and deleted the picture everything started running fine again.

2. I’m not the most technical person in the world. It’s amazing how much I’ve accomplished on my own regarding this blog. Cut yourself some slack, woman!

3. I’m at my computer 10-12 hours a day. Learning, posting, researching and editing the site. That would get to anyone. Cut yourself some slack woman!

Lesson Learned: Give myself a break and stop fighting it. The fun activities (football, wine, etc.) were contributing to my irritation because I felt guilty I wasn’t working and accomplishing. You know how I feel about guilt. Feeling guilty is a waste of time. What makes you feel better is action. The action in this case was realizing I needed to cut myself some slack due to my impatience with myself. I wouldn’t have realized this if I hadn’t been strong enough to surrender to my impatience.

Has this ever happened to you? I would love to hear your stories and laugh at our bratty sides together!

Love, Goddess

Fun Boot Camp: Part Deux

Goddesspower — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 14:55:46 +0000

This is for you. Those beauties who don’t have time and are too tired to have fun. For those of you who think I’m crazy for starting a fun boot camp. I’m presenting for you a fun way to acknowledge your fun funk and play with it. It’s because I love you. It’s a little experiment in fun denial. So let’s get your butts off the couch and work it!

Warm Ups:

Roll your eyes from side to side at the thought of having a little fun. Do this 4 times slowly.
Sigh dramatically after finishing the eye rolls. Raise and lower your shoulders while sighing. Do this 5 times.
Play your favorite CD or turn the radio to your favorite music station.
Stand back from the radio/song and lament about not wanting to have fun and why.

Now for the main fun work out:

Start to move your body…however you feel like dancing. If you still don’t feel like having fun compliment yourself for getting this far. If you’re having fun…keep dancing to the song and then get back to chores/work.

Cool down:

Congratulate yourself for taking a moment for you.

As always, I would love to know how it goes and what you discovered!

Love, Goddess

Worry Just Kills “Delicious.”

Goddesspower — Wed, 27 May 2009 23:29:53 +0000

Ahhhh…you lay back in your beautiful bed with the fluffy pillows. Your skin feels so soft and smooth from the lotion you just applied. You have sprayed your lovely self with some shimmer spray. You feel calm, at peace…looking forward to sweet dreams. Then, out of the blue “worry” pops into your cute little head. You question something you did earlier in the day. Then you question something else. Next thing you know you’re wide-awake and your heart is gently pounding. Deliciousness: gone in an instant.

Today’s discussion is how do we get over this little “worry” hurdle. I hate to call it little, because it’s not. It can strike at any time and throw us for a very unfun loop. It happened to me last night. Just like I put in the first paragraph. Then I got pissed. First I start to worry about something I did earlier in the day and then I get angry with myself for doing it! Definitely not the path to staying delicious. So how do we get ourselves away from the “drama” of worry?

Own it and then switch it. If it’s something you’re questioning, you probably took a chance. Chances are always good. You are going for something you want. Own that. If it falls into an unpleasant little pattern, then it’s time to stop. Remember my “Never beat yourself up” discussion from yesterday? Do whatever it takes to stop worrying and questioning yourself. Here are some ways to stop the worry so you can get back to delicious:

I’m a big fan of slowly breathing. It’s something I constantly resist doing (because of my impatience? LOL…see my earlier blog)
Close your eyes and list all the things you are grateful for
Have someone tickle you. ASAP!
Dance your butt off to a favorite tune
Give yourself a scalp massage
Give yourself a mini-vacation…imagine yourself in Paris, Greece, Hawaii
Look at yourself in the mirror, smile and say you’re so cute for “worrying.” Then change it up into something positive about you.
There is always good chocolate, organic tea, scrapbooks and lip-gloss!

I’m also going to recommend reading to you: Dr. Christiane Northrup’s “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” and Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life.” Here is a quote from the back of Ms. Hays book: “The thoughts we think and the words we speak create our experiences. If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.” It took a while for my intellectual mind to get around that quote, I thought it was, well, nonsense. Then I read the books and was truly amazed. These women rock and I am so grateful for their words. I give them to you.

With Love and Laughter, Goddess

Impatience…a virtue?

Goddesspower — Wed, 27 May 2009 15:25:39 +0000

Self-love tip of the Day: When you are feeling something…really feel it! You have no idea the incredible resource your emotions are. Internationally known for her empowering approach to women’s health and wellness Dr. Christiane Northrup says: “You have to feel it to heal it.”

I wanted to exercise last week and my music machine wasn’t working for me. I got more and more impatient. I wound up yelling at the machine and breaking my Madonna’s Greatest Hits CD. Now that was productive, wasn’t it? LOL. Actually…it was. I learned a lot when I stopped and listened to what my body and my impatience were telling me. I realized how destructive and pointless my impatience was. But you know what? I may not have seen that so clearly if I hadn’t allowed myself to get so upset.

Women have been taught by society to be “unemotional” to get ahead. Good practical advice. You don’t want to be breaking things at board meetings! But there’s truth and learning in all our emotions: even the unpleasant ones. Our bodies are screaming for us to deal with it. Can you imagine what a lifetime of tamping down negative emotions can do to a person? If we don’t listen to those emotions, we can’t learn what’s bothering us and then we can’t solve the problem. The problem keeps getting buried deeper and deeper in our bodies. Then, since we don’t learn anything, the problem grows. Slowly, over time, you start dealing with negative emotions in a not so productive way.

What did I learn from breaking that CD? When I stopped to listen to my impatience, I realized how patient I was with everyone I cared about. I’m loving, understanding and always encourage them so they can succeed. The perfect cheerleader. Why couldn’t I be my own cheerleader? The impatience told me I needed to be more patient with myself.

Now when things aren’t going right I slow down and breathe. I give myself a hug by doing something that makes me feel good. It may be a nice hot shower, putting on some lip-gloss, dancing to a fun song. Then I’m off to the races again. Happy, focused and motivated in my tasks for the day.

This took practice, ladies. Just like savoring and celebrating yourself. Embracing the negative in you and seeing the message within takes practice. Investment in yourself— investment in your inner Goddess. So practice giving yourself a break. The next time you are pissed off, sad, impatient, exhausted beyond words, do something pleasurable for yourself. Relax and realize your body is telling you something.

I’m going to frame that Madonna CD. Why? To celebrate my impatience. My impatience has taught me so much. Thank you impatience! Love, Goddess

Passion…enjoy some today!

Goddesspower — Wed, 20 May 2009 16:09:03 +0000

I looked up the word “passion” in the dictionary. There were 10 different entries.　 9 of which had to do with sex.　 Ironically the one that “turned me on” was definition #6:　 A strong or extravagant fondness enthusiasm or desire for anything: a passion for music.　 The most powerful definition is buried under all that sex.　 I choose to live definition #6 because infusing passion throughout my life makes everything better.

I love the　movie “Ever After” starring Drew Barrymore. (Cinderella saves the Prince in this kick ass version of the fairy tale) Cinderella/Danielle lives each day fully engaged in life, even though she　is a servant in her own home.　　She makes no　excuses and meets　each challenge straight on.　 No whining.　 She wants her　fathers’　legacy-his home-to remain strong despite　her selfish　Stepmother.　 Her father encouraged her passion and she absolutely adored him.

During an encounter,　Danielle and the Prince are discussing politics.　 Danielle is defending her opinion while challenging the Prince on his view on the matter.　 The Prince asks her, “How do you live everyday with such passion?” “Don’t you　find it　exhausting?” It takes the Prince days to catch up with her. He realizes he can sit back, relax, experience and learn from Danielle’s’ passion for life. A little taste there, a bigger bite the next day. All good. When he met Danielle he found what was missing in his proper, regal courtly existence. Passion for life.

Most people are probably like the Prince when they meet a person infused with the passion that Danielle has. It’s utterly charming, infectious and can　be overwhelming. Like anything　passion takes practice. Practice the art of passion. Here are some ideas for you (Feel free to sample or take on as many as you like!)

Admire yourself in the mirror. Smile seductively and really feel this phrase: “I am the hottest,　sexiest woman in the world!” Be passionate about you.

Take a bath.　 Relax in　the bubbles and engage all your senses. Use candles, incense, sip champagne or nibble on cheese. Breathe deeply into this “passionate” relaxation.

Play some music, turn down the lights, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Move your body or not. Just be in the moment.

Go outside and do something active for your body. Notice how your body moves and feels. How lucky you are to have such a magnificent Creation—-yourself.

Research this question: Which　blanket would I most want to cuddle up in every night? Check out and enjoy different textures. If you are going to cuddle up in a blanket every night it should make you feel wonderful!

Try on a diamond at the jewelry store.　 Enjoy the colors, clarity the sparkle…and how it makes you feel!

Next: The lost art of savoring the moment…