‘Boys tryna touch my junk…’ Kesha

When I heard this line in the popular song “Tik Tok,” my mouth dropped to the South pole.  Junk?  This is the new way women refer to their sexual organs and, or feminine parts?  Whatever happened us celebrating them like Maya Angelou-who refers to hers as “diamonds in the center of her thighs?”  Would you like to learn the origin of one of the most dirty and negative words in the English language?  Cunt=anatomical jewel. 

That should really make your jaw drop.  So should this:

From “Cunt: A Declaration of Independence,” the book by Inga Muscio:  ‘I looked up “cunt” in Barbara G. Walker’s twenty-five year research opus “The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets,” and found it was in a title, back in the day.  “Cunt” is related to words from India, China, Ireland, Rome and Egypt.  Such words were either titles of respect for women, priestesses and witches, or derivatives of the names of various goddesses.  The words bitch and whore also share a similar fate in our English language.  This seemed rather fishy to me.  Three words which convey negative meanings about women, specifically, all happen to have once had totally positive associations about women, specifically.’

And now “junk” has been added to the list.  Our society has thought up a trendy, cool way to refer to our sexual organs.  And it’s a synonym for garbage.  What a great way to degrade and diminish us.  (insert my feisty sarcasm here) Oh, really…think that is going to work?  (more feisty sarcasm)   Let’s get back to our diamonds.  Yours, mine and the worlds.  Because ladies, nothing is going to change this mentality unless we do.  That’s why when someone calls you a “bitch” I want you to give them a big smile and say “thank you.”  Because it’s honoring our ancestors and the original respect that word was given to woman.  And we’re bringing it back!  We are going to party with our hot, sexy diamonds and jewels!

Mama Gena does this very thing in her book “Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts.”  (Get the link to this wonderful book in the Bitch Boutique top right)  She has a whole chapter on “The Womanly Art of Sensual Pleasure.”  I highly recommend this book.  It will change how you look at your sensuality forever.  Check out the related reading below for even more ideas and incite.  So go out there and do woman kind a favor:  Celebrate the beauty of your beautiful feminine core.  And kiss Kesha and her idea of femininity to the curb!  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Related Reading:

1.  Embrace Our Sexual Organs: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/embrace-our-sexual-organs/

2.  Embrace Your Sexual Organs-Hot New Info! http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/embrace-your-sexual-organs/

3.  When Do You Feel Most Beautiful? http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/when-do-you-feel-most-beautiful/

This quote is so hot.  So simple.  Get passionately curious gorgeous one!  Hold on to your passions like industrial strength glue!  When you’re plugged into this mode you’ll glow, you’ll be fulfilled and ooze sexiness and confidence.  It’s the absolute best beauty treatment and it costs nothing.

So why not try a little of this today?  Walk home a different day from work.  Splash someone in the rain.  Taste something you’ve never tried before.  Rent a foreign film…and don’t read the subtitles.  Try a new workout routine, book you would never read, sport, video game, eye shadow.  Eat naked by candlelight.  Find the juiciest fruit you can and savor it.  Let the juices run all over your face!  Get your curious on and play play play.  Oh…and do share you’re newly discovered passions.  You know how much I love to experience new things!

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

I turn back to watch the ocean.  I watch the water and waves tumbling on each other.  I feel him come up behind me.  His warmth and the sensuality of the moment feels so amazing.  He breathes in the scent of my hair and caresses it tentatively and softly.  I feel the enjoyment of his breath and caress.  His sigh of contentment confirms he has wanted to do this for so long.  I lean against him so I can be even closer to him.  We stay this way for a few moments.  Savoring each other.

Then…I slowly turn around and look into his chest.  His amazing masculine chest.  The shirt…light yellow.  The warm breeze caresses my cheeks as I look up into his eyes.  He looks deeply into mine. We’re so locked into each other…and it hasn’t happened yet.  Our lips slowly start to come together…then I turn away.  Again…our lips start to come together and I turn away.  This dance of anticipation, fear and desire continues.  Finally…our lips meet.  It’s nothing short of incredible.  And my mind says…”Oh…no.”

Coming…how to enjoy every drop of passion with a man.  Actually increase it.  All without losing you to the “oh, no.”

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

A woman has roughly 8000 nerve endings on her clitoris. A man has roughly HALF that on his penis.

Yup.  Women are blessed with double the fun and feeling! Yay! I found this information during my own celebration for my sexual organs. It’s from a wonderful book called “Extended Massive Orgasm” by Drs. Vera and Steve Bodansky. http://extendedmassiveorgasm.com/  Ready for a little…ahem…mind-blower from the book?

“The clitoris is here to have a good time. It is the center of all orgasm (in spite of what Dr. Freud thought). Its only function is to experience exquisitely pleasurable sensations. The only other organ whose sole function is pleasure is the male nipple, and they are not in the same league. More nerves fill the clitoris that fill the head of the penis: approximately eight thousand nerves, about twice as many as the penis has. This is particularly amazing since the clitoris’s only function is pleasure, while the penis has other functions: urination and impregnation. About fifteen thousand nerve fibers, all told, service a woman’s pelvis.”

Wow!

Whenever I’ve told this to my male friends, most are genuinely surprised. They have no clue we have this many nerve endings to…can’t help it…”play with.”  A lot of my female friends don’t know either. So how is a man supposed to know how to please us if we aren’t aware of all the power we possess? If our sexual organs aren’t given proper names, etc?

It’s up to us. Pure and simple. A man knows what he has to do personally to have an orgasm. He, in his “uniformed” way, is doing what he thinks is the right thing in order to please us. He has no idea what 8000 nerve endings feel like. It’s up to us to KNOW what turns us on, and to communicate communicate communicate. We can’t use anger. A loving, caring man just wants to please us. It’s up to us to toss away the years of frustration (if we have it) and not take it out on him. We take control by being proactive in our own pleasure, ridding our bodies of “man” frustration (kick boxing anyone?) and then communicating our needs back in a way he understands. (see my communicating in a mans’ language blog)

If you have a partner that is gentle and listens…thank him! He had a wonderful teacher and you have HER to thank! If not…talk to your partner. Don’t judge him. Tell him what you just discovered. Buy Vera and Steve’s book and read it together. If you’re single, the book is just as helpful. There are exercises for the single as well as the paired.

There is so much in this subject we will explore together. I would really love to know if you knew this mind-blowing biological fact about your clitoris. You can email me privately at goddesspower978@hotmail.com.

So in review:
1. Please enjoy my “Embrace Your Sexual Organs” blog.
2. Celebrate your gorgeous sexual organs and all they do.
3. Research. Study the book by the Bodansky’s, and embrace the sensual part of you.

Love, Goddess

I’m writing in response to “Sex Starved” in today’s Boston Globe. I would like to comment on the first 3 words of your response; “For some reason’, some middle-aged women decide to close up shop, deciding that part of life is over…an old-fashioned idea, to be sure.”  “For some reason” could and should be elaborated on. It does not need to be vague, and bringing clarity would be a great service to your readers. Here are “some reasons” women who now at middle age, no longer have an interest in sex. If you are a middle-aged woman now (age 50+) you were:

1. Brought up to feel shame towards your own body. That feeling does not magically go away when you become an adult.
2. Not told the proper names of your sexual organs. Without names there is “nothing.” Language is the way humans connect and share mutual experiences. Anecdotally, women are either given no naming skills or given made up words to refer to their genitalia. The absence of appropriate language prevents women from communicating about their bodies.
3. Without proper and respectful language, there is nothing “down there” for a woman to be proud of. And if despite everything, she is proud of her sexual body – whoa! That’s too much. It’s counter-culture. She’s suspect.
4. Not given the tools to understand how your sexual organs function, and that their main function is to provide you with pleasure.
5. Made to understand through cultural conditioning that any connection you may have to your own body is wrong. It’s wrong to touch your own body, speak of it, or acknowledge it in any way.
6. Disconnected from the power and beauty of your own sexuality.

If you are deprived of a common and respectful language for your sexual organs, disconnected from your own body’s pleasure center, and made to feel guilty and/or ashamed if you do feel pleasure – it’s not surprising that by mid-life you find no pleasure from sex, and finally, put it aside.  Have you heard of The Body exhibit that is touring the United States? It’s a comprehensive exhibit of human anatomy. When I went to see it, there was a display case showing all the different parts of the human sexual organs. Apparently women don’t have sexual organs because there were none displayed. I did not see a note that said “The female sexual organs were too controversial to be shown” or “The female sexual organs are on loan to another exhibit.” There was nothing. And that emphasizes my point. (End of letter)

Is it any wonder that a lot of women have trouble communicating with men how to please them?

Wow, huh? So how do we change this? By turning it around. Pointing this out to people who don’t know in an understanding manner, like my friend. Most important, we must start celebrating the beauty of our sexual organs. Know and use our organs proper names.  Revel in the fact that we have an organ called the clitoris. The clitoris was created for one thing. Our pleasure. So let’s rock it, ladies! Take our power back by owning our sexuality.

1. Check out your gorgeous clitoris today.  Really study her with a mirror.
2. Research and know all the proper names of your sexual organs.
3. Teach your mates all the parts.
4. Research your sexuality and share your discoveries with your mate.
5. Never call her “Down There” again.  Give her a hot nick name if you wish.

Love, Goddess

Savoring and understanding men for who they are is so much more fun than looking at men negatively:  “I hate men,” “ All men are losers, jerks.” I think this whole attitude about men sucks.  Yes, we’ve all met jerky guys in the past.  That’s the past.  Now is now.   So put on a new hat and let’s celebrate men instead.  Don’t you want to be celebrated for who you truly are too?  We start by celebrating ourselves as women, first.

When was the last time you celebrated yourself?  You—in all your womanly glory? You must love yourself first before you love a man.  Love yourself so much that you don’t give a shit what anyone thinks.  You rock, you adore you and you 110% know it.  We’re not talking about conceit here.  We’re talking true self love…flaws and beauty all.  Then you can communicate effectively what you want from a man and invite him into your fabulous universe.  One of the biggest questions I get from men is this:

“I don’t know what women want.”

It’s no wonder when we’re constantly fed what men want, but what about what we as women want? 

Let’s take a look at this months’ issue of Cosmo (Jan 2009)  “Bad Girl Sex” “Are you a Great Date?” “Drama of the Day.” Now I like fluff as much as the next girl, but some people take this stuff seriously!  Let’s look at another magazine cover:  Glamour:  “263 Juicy Answers from Guys”  (How they feel about you.  But what’s more important…what you know about you or what they know about you.  Remember…most men don’t know what you want) “21 Ways You Turn Him On,” (Great…but what turns you on fair one?)  Then there are “59 new tips you have to know about him.” 

Where’s the woman celebration?  Let’s start one right here, right now.  Let’s come up with our own “59 new tips about women and what you have to know “ right here on this blog.  Let’s make it juicy and fun:  60 Reasons to Celebrate Women!  I’ll start it off:

1. Every single one of us has our own unique beauty, talent and passion for life.
2. We can multi-task like nobody’s business.
3. We give birth to beautiful babies!  Hence…we are the ultimate creators… 

Whatcha got for me ladies?  Let’s celebrate ourselves!  I’ll post the completed list soon.  Love, Goddess

My five-year-old niece is sitting in karate class. The instructor asks the kids in class a question. “What is your favorite meal?” One by one the kids answer: Pasta! Hamburgers! Pizza! My niece answers: “Dessert.” She absolutely adores dessert. One of her favorites is chocolate.

She loves dessert so much that she eats it too quick. And then she wants more. And that ultimately takes most of the enjoyment out of it. Then she gets that cute little look on her face. She’s in a little quandary. She so wants more, but her Mommy is trying to make sure she eats as nutritionally as possible. She is disappointed for two reasons: She had only a few moments to enjoy something she loves, and she is slightly frustrated because she won’t be getting anymore.

So I taught her how to “savor” with a small piece of chocolate. I told her to let it slowly melt in her mouth. We had a contest to see who would make the chocolate last longer and she won. She saw the benefits to savoring: it was much more pleasurable than wolfing down dessert in a heartbeat. When her Mom noticed her eating her dessert slowly one day, she got concerned! She said…

”What’s wrong…why are you eating your dessert so slowly?”

My niece replied with a contented voice…

”I’m savoring.”

Ahhhh….savoring. When was the last time you, gracious reader, savored? Was it when you were on vacation at the beach? When you were lying on the beach, listening to the rush of the waves, feeling the warm breeze lightly caressing your skin, enjoying the warm soothing bright light of the beaming sun on your face?

All of us should savor more everyday. Savoring takes practice. Savoring is an art. The French savor when they eat. I’ve read French people observe the meal as it’s set before them. They admire the presentation. They breathe deeply the aromas coming from the plate. They discuss the many nuances to the meal: texture, seasoning, where the flavors hit in their mouths: tongue, lips, back of the mouth.

The French are passionate about food. Savoring is passion! Passion for the moment you are experiencing….right now. Savoring is pleasure. Let’s start right now. Here are some ideas for you:

Close your eyes and savor the moment, and breathe deeply.

Eat and savor your meal tonight like the French do.

Tickle someone.

Savor a piece of chocolate like my niece does.