Dating Advice for Women: You Choose the Man!

Dating Advice for Women: You Choose the Man,channing tatum,
Hot Channing Tatum image from Double Duty Mommy

I don’t care if he looks like this.  Choose wisely in dating hotties!

Dating advice for women:  You choose the men you want to date!

I have noticed something about the women around my orbit lately.  In coaching, business and out and about.  I have met not 1, not 10, but 23 women in the last two weeks that are succumbing to fear.  They are letting go of their power of choice and letting the guy choose them in dating.  It’s an unhealthy choice.  It almost guarantees this going through their minds during a date:  “If I spend one more minute with this guy I’m going to die.”

Men are sneaky.  They will tell you upfront what’s wrong with them.  In a humorous, self-effacing way.  As a result, you will be amused, charmed.  Make no mistake.  You agree to a date?  Check mate for him. Men turn on the charm when they want something from us.  Like sex.  They can make things like this sound heroic:   I’m looking for a partner to face lifes’ battles with 110%! (In a husky, sexy voice) Meanwhile, he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and has no idea what he wants to do. (except have sex with you at the moment)  The reason why that tactic works?  We SO want that as women.  We want the man who will stand by us 110% through thick and thin.  At our worst and best.  We need that in a man to feel secure, loved and cherished.  We want that when we are crazed…in child birth, when PMSing, or just having a bad day.  And then we will surrender …  for the most part … sassy smile.  If a guy says this to us?  We so want it to be us that we go temporarily insane and start saying things to ourselves like this:

“Awww…that’s what I’ve been searching for my whole life!”

“Pick me!  I’d go the ends of the earth with you!”

“Finally.  My Dashing Knight has arrived!”

LOL…come on…it’s a little funny our sentimental romantic, no?  However…

We must never settle.  Especially regarding the first date!  If you “settle” for a guy on a first date?  It puts you on the path of getting attached to a man who is not good for you.  I can’t tell you how many men have told me point blank their “issues” on the very first date.  If he tells you any of these things on the first date or before?  This man is not good for you.  I put the “Male Issue” first and then in italics exactly why it is not good for you.

Male Issue:  “I just got divorced, broke up with someone.”  Run…he needs time to heal emotionally.  Don’t be his rebound girl.

Male issue:  “I just got out of rehab, prison, etc.”   Run…he needs time to adjust.  NOT on your time.  

Male Issue:  “I’m having financially issues.”   Run…he is telling you he is irresponsible.  He’ll be asking you for money soon, girl.  RUN!

Male Issue:  “I don’t think I want to get married.”   If you want marriage and a guy says this to you?  RUN.  He is telling you he will not commit up front.  Then if you bring it up 2 years later, all he has to say is, “I told you I didn’t think I wanted to get married.”  You have no recourse because by continuing to date him, you agreed to his terms!

Male issue:  “I cheated on my last girlfriend.”   Run.  He just told you he is not faithful.   If you continue to date him and he cheats?  You should not be surprised.  He is only following through with past actions.

So the moral of the story is…ask questions, listen, and know what you want!  There are plenty of men out there who don’t cheat, are financially responsible and would do anything to make you smile. They follow up.  They produce.  Choose your criteria and men wisely!  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

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