Festive napkins can be ordered at Monster Marketplace  http://www.monstermarketplace.com/oh-boy-toy-company/anne-taintor-napkin-mistletoe

Don’t date a man that doesn’t mesh with what you want.

Simple advice.  Is it really so simple?   No.  The tools you must have are confidence and knowing what you like and deserve so well that you can change your decision in a flash.  To avoid the pain of a guy who cannot or will not give you what you need.

I know I can walk into a room, pick a guy I want and have it proceed or not proceed exactly how I want.  This is not arrogance.  It’s confidence.  This is me knowing who I am so well that I will watch a mans’ actions and decide whether I want to get to know him better.  On the spot.  If I decide that I want to get to know him better, I communicate what I want and then see if he produces.  Every woman deserves this.

I recently went on vacation with my best friend Mary Ann.  We had so much fun.  Some girlfriends were having a party and we invited attractive guys to it.  A few years ago I would have been too shy to do this, but now if a friend sees a cute guy I will approach him and invite him and his friends to our parties.  It’s so fun.  I love helping my girlfriends meet fun, cute men!  We were swimming in the ocean and I noticed a seriously hot guy.  Tall, gorgeous smile and boy works out.  I swam up to him and invited him to the party.  I’m thinking to myself, yeah…I could play with you.  His name was Eric.  As we were flirting my other girlfriends swam up and started enjoying Eric as well.  I was a little irritated at first.  Then I became amused.  What woman wouldn’t find Eric hot?  For things to proceed for me the guy needs to give me all his attention.  He can’t be putting attention on me, then going to someone else, then coming back to me, etc.  That doesn’t make me feel beautiful.  It makes me feel “next in line.”  Which doesn’t fly with me.

Tip #1:  It’s fine to approach men in social situations.  If you feel like you can invite them into your circle of friends safely, fine too.  Be aware of their actions.  You can still let them come to you.  If you are surrounded by your friends and he is evenly talking to everyone?  He may still like you or he may be waiting things out to make HIS selection on who he likes the best.  Remember YOU are the chooser.  Even when he makes up his mind it’s you, decide whether he is YOUR choice.

Fast forward a few hours later at the party.  There was a young hot little stud who was making eye contact, talking and flirting with me.  I joined my best friend Mary Ann and she says “That boy is cute that is checking you out.”  I agreed.  I also noted he was flirting with whatever girl was in his orbit.  I’m already done.  One minute he’s grinding some girl on the dance floor, the next trying to make eye contact with me.  No thanks.

Tip #2:  If you’re in a social situation, note the guys that are checking you out.  Let them come to you.  Until they come to you, notice if they are flirting with everything that moves.  If that kind of challenge “winning” the guy every girl wants is for you-that’s fine.  A lot of girls get into that game.  I don’t.  It’s a preference.

Which brings me to our moonlit swim party in the ocean at midnight.  Absolute blast!!!  I was swimming with my girlfriends and Eric and a friend of his, Cary, saw us and waded up to us.  Eric thanked us for inviting them to the party.  They had an amazing time and thought the swim was a great idea too.  Still thinking Eric is hot I start flirting with him.  All my friends want him though, so I let it go.  I start talking to Eric’s friend Cary.  We had a nice conversation and he is putting ALL of his attention on me.  I like this.  I decide to tell him a specific want to see if he produces.  I say, ”I love how men are protectors.  I like a man who makes me feel safe.”  So we’re all getting out of the water and it’s freezing!  He picks up a towel and puts it around me.  He also uses his body to shield me from the cool wind that has picked up.  I give him a smile of appreciation and say “protection.”  He says, “Yeah…you said you liked that.”

Tip #3:  You have control over what guy you choose.  When you know what you want from a guy and know exactly how you want to be cherished, you can communicate it.  If he produces and acts in a way that makes you feel beautiful it’s so good.  You can start to feel safe and he can show you ways he likes you.

Keep grounded in the things that are deal breakers for you.  Even when he is producing.  This will allow you to enjoy a man while keeping your eyes wide open.  It keeps you from getting too involved too quickly.  Which leaves you open for hurt.  Remember:  Just because a guy wants to have sex with you doesn’t mean he likes you.  Guys always want to have sex with you!  The guy who earns your trust is the one who, over time, gives you what you need to feel safe, cherished and beautiful.  The prize for him is winning your love and trust.

© S Stevens Life Strategies

 Assuming that I’m nice?  Pic can be purchased at Zazzle  http://www.zazzle.com/sugar_and_spice_tshirt-235693426451919663

Assuming.

(Cue morose music)

Drama Queens assume that someone doesn’t like them.  Assume their boyfriends are cheating on them.  Assume that people are out to get them.  Drama Queens assume that their bosses don’t respect them. Because their bosses hate them, Drama Queens assume that their bosses would never promote them, never listen to them or give them a raise.  Drama Queens assume that they aren’t hot enough for some guy. Assume that they don’t have enough for this or that but they DESERVE it.  (insert whine here)  Assume that no one understands, cares, loves, appreciates them.  Blah Blah Blah.

Bitches don’t have time to assume.  They’re too busy.  If they have a question on their minds, they ask it and be done with it.  They don’t spend hours wallowing in it.  Assuming, like whining, makes a Sassy Bitch want to nap.

When you are in ”assuming” mode, you know your Drama Queen is ruling the roost.  She must be exercised.  Literally!   Exercise that little whiny brat out.  My Drama Queen surfaced yesterday.  Was I ever a little brat.  Just back from a fab vacation.  My coaching sessions with some really beautiful, inspiring women were so fun!  And my panties were soooooooo in a bunch.  It was raining out so my Drama Queen couldn’t go for a walk. (Dramatic sniff)  So what does a Sassy Bitch do when exercising won’t get rid of the brat?

Appreciation.  I went over and over in my mind what I was thankful for.  I felt better.  Then I found out a family friend had died.  He had cancer, was not expected to live long, but he died much quicker than anyone had thought.  Another reason to be grateful.  I was happy, healthy and surrounded by those I love.  More appreciation needed and completed.

So when your Drama Queen goes into “Assume Mode,”  try the following:

1. Exercise the brat out of you.
2. Be deeply grateful for all you have.  List all the things over and over in your mind.
3. Lather, rinse and repeat until you are feeling your happy sassy self again.

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Anne Taintor image from Delaney’s World:   http://delaney55.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/delaneys-world-chuckle-for-the-day-38/

Sometimes they just won’t go away.  All the ignoring in the world doesn’t work.

The Jerk.

The guy that is chasing you that doesn’t care about you.  You’ve communicated with him in a bottom line way.  He still continues.  Instead of respecting your words he ups the ante.  The goal is seeing exactly what works to reach his goal.  Just having you.  Yes, I’m talking about “Chase Guy.”  I hesitated writing this because I don’t want to feed his ego in doing it.  Which I know it will.  There are a million reasons why not to write it.  None matter because one of the goals at Bitch Lifestyle is for women to be able to handle the jerks and not let them push their buttons.  It’s like the Universe plopped this guy into our lives and now we all have to deal.  One of those “teachable moments.”  Because…

After months of me ignoring him, “Chase Guy” upped the ante.  He liked and posted on Bitch Lifestyle’s Facebook page.  I don’t even have to tell you who he is.  If you go, you’ll be able to tell.  Don’t engage him.  That isn’t the point.  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841  He posted something obnoxious and self-serving.  If it had been when we first met?  I would have laughed and been playful with the comment.  Because of his actions I’m not in a playful mood.  Remember this post –  it will ground you with obnoxious men:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/10/dealing-with-a-demanding-man/  Remember.  If he wants access, he has to play by YOUR rules.  When he plays by your rules, he gets nice accommodating you.  When he doesn’t?  You call him on it and watch his actions.  If he gets it, he’ll do what you ask.  If he doesn’t care he’ll send you something disrespectful like this:

“Didn’t mean to misunderstand, just giving you naughty pleasure crossed my mind and wanted to say hi since back in town   Maybe we’ll cross paths, maybe not. Hope you’re well “

The only person I want “naughty pleasure” from is a man I can trust.  No girl should ever trust a guy like this.  Unless of course she is an EXTREME bad ass and can have such naughty pleasure with the guy that it throws him for a loop.  And then she dumps him.  Notch on her bed post.  I totally respect that.  It’s not me, however.  Remember, “Chase Guy” travels in a circle of friends I have.  So at some point I will see him.  Upping the ante.  One day he’ll realize that I’m not playing.  None of us Sassy Bitches are.   Love, Goddess

Related Posts:

1. Call Me:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/04/call-me/
2. Dating Concept #1:  Signs That a Man Wants You to Chase Him:   http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/08/dating-concept-1-signs-a-man-wants-you-to-chase-him/
3. Let a Man Chase You.  Here’s How:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/let-a-man-chase-you-heres-how/

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Anne Taintor pic from https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/TM3AtU37bbuFc_M8VBlCVA

When is the last time you “stirred things up?”  I’m not talking pancake batter I’m talking your “routine.”  Routine Routine Routine.  I get it.  Structure is important on the pathway to success and achieving goals, dreams, balancing your check book.  When you get too comfortable?  Stir things up!  Remember…life BEGINS at the end of your comfort zone.  So get a little uncomfortable.  In positive and fun ways.

1. Try something…anything new!  Love red wine?  Me too.  Change it up for a Scorpion Bowl, Pineapple Passion or something you have never tried once in a while.
2. You know that “Things I Would Never Do List?”  Re-read it.  Have you done anything on it?  Do things on that list seem a little less…”no way I’d ever do that?”
3. Listen to different music, take a different route home than you normally would, explore web sites you would never think of going to.
4. Make a list of daily and weekend adventures you want to try.  Then schedule them.
5. If you are like me and find it impossible to just sit and do nothing…try it.  Breathe and see how it feels.
6. Scour the local papers for new things to do this weekend.  New restaurants, festivals, stores, spas, museums and put these things into your schedule.
7. Face fears.  Afraid of public speaking?  Go to a Toastmasters meeting. http://www.toastmasters.org/
8. Be grateful, say thank you to someone you love, make something yummy for a sick person.
9. Never done a crossword or sudoku?  Try.
10. Accept ALL really fun sounding invitations!  Don’t think about it and wonder if it will fit in your schedule.  Just accept.  I just accepted a photo shoot opportunity from a friend.  A fun glamour girl pin-up style one!

Please…share your hot and sassy ideas here and on our Facebook page!  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Picture of the delicate, unique and pinkaliscious orchid from Bees on the Brain: http://writingeveryday.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/we-have-orchid-function/orchid_090123/

How much do you adore your clitoris?  Your vulva?  Every delicate fold of your beautiful pussy?  Did your jaw drop at my bluntness?  It’s okay.  Women don’t really talk about their pussies.  My question is…why?  It’s not considered “lady like.”  Here we are.  With this amazing thing called a “clitoris” that is designed for one thing.  To rock your body with pleasure and it’s not considered “lady like” to talk about it.  Well…as a lady, I say we get talking.  And loving.  And adoring the fact that we have something that can make us feel SO good.

Two things got me thinking about our gorgeous feminine folds.

1. Guys are so darned proud of their cocks.  Right?  They even name them.  You know how they like to talk to you through their cocks?  Their cock always has a swagger and a deeper voice then they do.  Usually followed by a HUGE smile from him.  He’s so proud of the way his cock just talked to you.  LOL.
2. The other day I was with a group of people and someone had written the words “Happy Vagina Day”  on a chalkboard.  One of the girls erased it because she was a little embarrassed and thought it was inappropriate.  Of course me…I’m thinking…”Yes!  What a great idea!  Happy Vagina Day!”

So I thought I’d come up with a Sassy Bitches’ 3 Part “Lady Like” Plan to Loving her Lady Parts.  Here we go:

Step One:  We are going to stop being so “lady like.”  I’m not asking you to go run around the neighborhood showing off your pussy.  I’m just asking you to warm up to it a little.  Adore her a little.  Trim her and pamper her like you would any other part of your body.  As you like.  Maybe give the hair down there a moisture masque.  Trim her into a little heart.  Does your man come up to you and talk to you through his cock?  Well, answer back.  Go up to him and whisper in his ear “My pussy has something she wants to tell you.”

Watch his jaw drop.  Then take a moment and tell him what Pussy would like him to do.  Okay…that is a bit advanced Bitch.

Step Two:  Educate Yourself.  Read up.

1. Junk? Try Diamonds!  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/07/junk-try-diamonds/
2. Dell Williams:  A Sexual Pioneer for Women:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/09/dell-williams-a-sexual-pioneer-for-women/
3. The “Cuddle Hormone.”  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/04/the-cuddle-hormone-2/
4. Do a google search on her.  Search for the term “yoni.”

Step Three:  Bitch it up by buying yourself a gorgeous orchid.  Make it a beautiful symbol and reminder to take as careful care of this plant as you do YOU.

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Picture can be found at Shutterstock.com:  http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-59045674/stock-photo-beautiful-red-wedding-bouquet-on-the-car.html

Spring Clean your car!  Make your mode of transportation comfortable-a sanctuary full of things to keep you safe, secure and feeling luscious!

1. Vacuum and wipe the exterior down.  Spritz a yummy scent or add a few of those perfume samples from magazines to freshen the air.
2. Thoroughly clean the outside.  Get rid of any grease on your hub caps and shine up the wheels.
3. Add some cute comfortable pillows.  Pink?  Zebra print?  Bucket seats can be uncomfortable.
4. Rotate out music you’ve had in the car forever.
5. Google emergency kits for your car and make one or update the one you have. http://beprepared.com/article.asp?ai=28
6. Add your fave beauty supplies, personal supplies and yummy snacks.
7. Add things that you know make you feel beautiful – at the ready when life hits you hard.  Your fave book, magazine, scarf, perfume, glitter, lotions.
8. For more ideas and items to add for your car Safety Girl:  http://www.safetygirl.com/emergencykits.html

Have fun turning your car into your moving Palace!  Love, Goddess

Related Reading:

1. Dita Von Teese:  A Study in Naughty Glamour http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/08/dita-von-teese-a-study-in-naughty-glamour/
2. Beauty Rituals Empower You  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/beauty-rituals-empower-you/
3. Everyday Glamour  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/08/everyday-glamour/

© S Stevens Life Strategies

I love this one!  Yeah…let him rise to the occasion in every way possible!

Anne Taintor pic can be ordered at Buy.com http://www.buy.com/prod/she-admired-his-ability-to-rise-to-the-occasion-magnet-by-anne-taintor/217126829.html

A Sassy Bitch started the “fun” way before the first date…

 Anne Taintor pic from Wedding Bee  http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/02/23/anne-taintor/

PURR!

 Anne Taintor pic from Tammy Martin Landscape Design http://tammymartindesign.wordpress.com/category/pets/

Mmmmm….

Anne Taintor pic can be found at Funky Fridge:  www.funkyfridge.com

And that concludes our mid-week kick of sass.  You’re assignment today at Bitch University is to do something good for you.  To get your inner Sassy glowing!  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

]]> http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/04/kick-in-the-sass/feed/ 0 http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/04/on-seeing-the-beauty/ http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/04/on-seeing-the-beauty/#comments Thu, 12 Apr 2012 18:42:57 +0000 Goddesspower http://bitchlifestyle.com/?p=3712

Drew Barrymore photographed by Annie Leibovitz from the web site Maria’s photo:  http://www.mariasphoto.com/2008/02/25/drew-barrymore-in-beauty-and-the-beast/

Seeing the Beauty.  Like everything, it’s a choice.  We can be sucked into what the world has decided is “perfection.”  Or we can rebel.   Rebel by rejecting the incessant labels society thrusts upon us:  ”Young, ” “Old,” “Average,” “Above Average,” “Rich,” “Poor,” “Nice,” “Mean.”  I could go on forever!  Or we could make it a habit to see the beauty in the not so “perfect” beast.  Perfect is boring!  Trust me, if you were given the “perfect” guy you would get bored.  You would never fight.  Fighting is passion.  Can you imagine life without make-up sex?  LOL.  If you were given the “perfect” body you would still see something you don’t like.  How many of us look back on our early twenties and think:  Wow!  I was hot!  We didn’t think it back then because we didn’t appreciate the wrinkle free skin.  We couldn’t relate because we’d never had wrinkles.

I was inspired by Ashley Judd putting the media in her place when they called her “puffy.”  http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/09/ashley-judd-slaps-media-in-the-face-for-speculation-over-her-puffy-appearance.html When some in the media don’t see perfection, they question, examine, judge.  They’d noticed Ms. Judd had been looking “puffy” lately and decided to analyze why.  Without asking her.   Isn’t there something else you would rather do than obsess over perfection, media?

Think of the people you are attracted to.  I guarantee the ones you’re closest to have something that pulled you in.  Is it how they’re always there for you?  That’s beauty.  It it their passionate curiosity?  Is it their loving spirit that’s reflected through soulful eyes?  I’ve always been attracted to people who make me smile and laugh.  They could be purple with little tiny spikes all over their faces and I would still love them.  We would just have to work something out when we hug. 

Then there are people who are not so beautiful.  Maybe physically they are when you first meet them, but through their actions you become disenchanted.  Suddenly little imperfections pop up that you never saw before.  They are there now because you’ve seen some of the things they do that turn you off.  Like maybe they lied to you.  Maybe they dump you when they get a new boyfriend.  Maybe they start to revel in their happiness around you in a catty way.   You start seeing someone for who they truly are.  No amount of hairspray, lipstick or flexing of a perfectly toned peck will stir you.

They’ve broken your trust.  They’ve lost your respect.  They’ve lost their beauty.  On their own.

The people who make you smile fuel your beauty.  The man you meet for a fleeting moment who opens a door for you.  The children playing and sharing their laughter and fun with you.  The little old lady all dressed up in her best as you pass by her in a restaurant.  You look at her, she looks at you and you admire how the blue of her suit plays up her skin.  You tell her the color looks beautiful on her.   She smiles back and says “thank you.”  The blue makes her feel beautiful.  It radiates from her soul.  That radiant beauty drew you to her.

The beauty of sound.  How you absolutely love something in nature.  The trickle of water from a nearby stream, the whish of the ocean waves.  Even the noise of an airplane that breaks your concentration overhead.  It is beautiful that we have something called airplanes that can whisk us off and we can be anywhere in the world.  In a matter of hours!  The beauty of touch.  Enjoying how soft your lovers skin is, or how his arms make you feel warm and protected.  How a kittens’ fur can tickle your nose and smell so good.  How soft and shiny your hair looks and feels after brushing it before you go to bed.

The beauty of sight.  Like the lady in blue from above or how pictures of food and fashion can make us literally swoon with the thought of eating or wearing it!  The sunset-how each one is unique with its colors and cloud swirls.  How one painting makes you stop.  And all the other paintings fall away.  Or when, on your daily walk, you walk by a certain house.  It’s a pleasure to admire the house because the owners put so much care in the landscaping and upkeep.  Then one day on your walk, the lady who lives there is working on her landscaping.  As you walk by you say “Your house is beautiful.  You do such an amazing job with it!”  She looks up, beaming with pride and says “Thank you!”  It feels so good.  The beauty of her creation affects you every time you walk by.  It makes you feel good to thank her and makes you feel amazing when she is so happy that you noticed!  Because you just made her feel beautiful.

Seeing the beauty in everything is more fun than what society is trying to pull us into doing:  obsess with perfection.  Sitting around and discussing what may or may not be wrong with the target (ie Ashley Judd).  Turn them off and rebel.  When they try to show you something ugly or try to criticize – look for the beauty.  Maybe our “Perfection Rebellion” -  will spread and we can tame a few “judgemental” beasts out there.  And bring them over to our side.  Love, Goddess

Related Reading:

1. Like Curves?  Sofia Vergara  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/03/sofia-vergara/
2. We Are Perfect:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/we-are-perfect/
3. Beauty Rituals Empower You:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/beauty-rituals-empower-you/

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Sassy Anne Taintor pic can be purchased at Word Power Books:  http://www.word-power.co.uk/author/Anne-Taintor/

Men who want you to chase them.  Read this article and then I will follow-up with you on the latest:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/10/how-to-get-a-girl-to-chase-you/   The latest:  the other night I was on Twitter working late.  I got a message from a guy that I went out with a couple of times.  The guy from the article I wanted you to read above.   Some time has passed since he last tried to get me to chase him.  I’d forgotten that we even follow each other on Twitter!  This is the message he sent me:

Chase Guy:  Hey Sharon I miss your face!  Call me.

Me:  I’m not your type.  I don’t chase.

Within minutes…can you guess, Sweet and Sassy Bitch what happened?  Yeah…I get a phone call.  From Chase Guy.  Do I answer?  Hell no.  Am I mad?  No.  I think it’s amusing.  When I listened to his voice mail, he was all “sensual and alluring.”  Trying to lure me into calling him so we can “catch up.”  Then I go on Twitter and he has sent me a couple tweets.  Excuses for why he hasn’t been in touch. How he tried to call me but my phone gave out a “no call” signal-all garbage.  Garbage and lies, because girlfriends, I have the voice mail he left me.  Still not mad.  In order to get mad you have to care.  What I care about is YOU and YOU recognizing the signs of a guy trying to get you to chase him.  A guy who is making it all about getting YOU to please him.  That’s his challenge.  Getting you to jump through hoops for him.

Today Chase Guy sent me a direct message on Twitter.  Something about you pleasure me, or something and a link.  Curious to what this tactic was, I clicked on it.  It led to a blank page.  LOL.  Kinda metaphoric, huh?  There’s nothing there.

You know what works with me?  This does:

I sent a text to a friend of mine-M.  M and I have been friends for a long time.  We are also very attracted to each other and enjoy a physical relationship as well.   Before my vacation, I sent him the following text:

Me:  The next time I see you I want you to tickle me until I beg for mercy!

M:  Okay

Me:  Happy and excited smile!

Notice the text exchange is short, sweet and playful.

A couple of nights later he texted me-following up on our last flirtation.  It was hot, fun and playful.  M was going to try to come up and see me for a “departing tickle” before I left on vacation.  It didn’t work out because he travels with his full-time job and runs a business on weekends.  To say that he is busy is an understatement.  Knowing how busy he is, and appreciating him making the effort to please me, I happily let him go do his thing.  I know that he will produce my want for me.  No doubt.  Besides…we agreed, the wait would make it that much sweeter!

The night after getting back from vacation, I got a text from M asking me how my vacation was.  We sent sexy and flirtatious texts while he was waiting to get on a plane hours away.  He said it was too bad he wasn’t closer because we couldn’t do what we were discussing in the texts.  About an hour later I get a text from him saying he was “closer” because his plane just landed.  And he could be closer still.  He wound up driving an hour to see me and we spent an incredible night together.  It ended with him saying, “Welcome Home.”  I said “Welcome Home” back and kissed him.

This man is SO busy.  Yet, after a busy day of work and travel he wanted to see me.  The memory makes me purr.  This is making a big effort, ladies!  This is a man who likes you and wants to please you.  So which sounds like more fun to you hotties?  A man who travels an hour to pleasure you and see you?  Or a guy who tells you to “call me?”  Yuck.  Yeah…I think we all know the answer to that one!

PS:  I will definitely be keeping you up to date on the tactics “Chase Man,” uses.  I don’t see him stopping in the near future.

Love, Goddess

Related Reading:

1. Dating Concept #1:  Signs That a Man Wants You to Chase Him:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/08/dating-concept-1-signs-a-man-wants-you-to-chase-him/
2. Let a Man Chase You.  Here’s How:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/let-a-man-chase-you-heres-how/
3. Dealing With a Demanding Man:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/10/dealing-with-a-demanding-man/

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Cartoon from the wonderful site “My Opera,”  http://my.opera.com/angel292005/blog/?tag=women&startidx=30&nodaylimit=1

Back stabbers.  How do you deal with them?

Right now I’m dealing with a back stabber.  I run an improv group and someone crossed the line with me.  I communicated to this person in a bottom line, respectful way.  So they tried to circumvent me by talking to other members of the group.   When others in the group asked about the situation I said  “Why is so and so talking to you about this?  They are putting YOU in the middle of my decision.  Which isn’t fair to you.  They should be talking to me.  If you see so and so, tell them to talk to me about it.  Let me deal with it.”  Now the little back stabber has to go through me to get what they want.  This person, on their own, closed the door on opportunity.  So let’s discuss effective ways to deal with back stabbers!

1. Don’t trust them.  Back stabbers want what they want and that’s it.
2. Don’t criticize them.  Be nice.  I will always be polite to this person.  If they freak out on me I’ll be rational and to the point.  This is power.
3. Don’t marry a back stabber.  I get emails all the time from women who want guys who have stabbed them in the back.  They don’t trust them, but they still want to be with them.  Why would you want to marry someone to whom you can’t trust?
4. Don’t believe what they say about others or about a situation.  They say and do anything to get what they want.
5. Never try to one up them.  This will only fuel their desire to hurt you.  If they are on your last nerve, kick box it out.  Take a long walk.  Take a breath and remember:  what they want is for you to be upset.  If you give them what they want they will only repeat the cycle. Over and over whenever they need their “fix.”

So what do you think?  Have any fun and effective tips for dealing with back stabbers?  Please share on our Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841

Related Reading:

1. Who Controls You:  You’re Bitch or Your Brat?  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/01/who-controls-you-your-bitch-or-your-brat/
2. The Faux Girlfriend:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/01/the-faux-girlfriend/
3. Signs You’re a Sassy Bitch:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/05/signs-youre-a-sassy-bitch/

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