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Finding Love Do You Emasculate Men?

finding love,

Picture of Jackie Chan from Reddit 

Finding love…do you emasculate men?  You want to be respected in all your glorious femininity, right?  Absolutely.  Do you send that out to men?  In other words, do you give them the respect of how hot the masculine is?  To get respect you must give respect.  Unfortunately, I see women disrespecting men all the time.  In lines at stores.  At friendly gatherings.  Usually he’s making a valid point and she is being dismissive.  Or she is ordering him to do something for her.  Or…he’s trying to do something for her and she’s resisting it.  Or testing him with outrageous requests to see how much he “cares for her.”   I’ve noticed the love he is giving out and she is being dismissive, rude or unappreciative.  What brought this little Sassy Bitch tangent on?  A trip to Walmart.

I was in Walmart two days before Christmas.  Yes…utter zoo.  Don’t hate me, but I’d gotten all my shopping done and was just relaxing and enjoying all the colorful packages and bargains in the make up area.  Out of the corner of my eye I notice a handsome man looking at the make up.  I wandered to the next aisle and soon he was in the same aisle with me.  Looking completely confused.  That’s love I thought.  I hope she appreciates him.  We make eye contact and here is our conversation:

Handsome Man:  Could I ask you for some advice?

Sassy Bitch:  Sure.

Handsome Man:  Where is the Bare Escentuals?

I’m thinking…really…you sent out your man to find you make up for Christmas?  What the hell is wrong with you, girlfriend?

Sassy Bitch:  You can’t buy that here.  You’re in the right section, it’s mineral make-up, but you can only get Bare Escentuals at high-end stores like Sephora or Ulta.

Handsome man looks at the make up.  Knowing what he’s thinking I say:

Sassy Bitch:  And you can’t buy this mineral make up.  She knows what she wants…the Bare Escentuals.  If you buy this, you’ll be screwed.

Handsome Man laughs in appreciation of my honesty with him. 

More conversation and then I send him on his way.  With simple instructions.  “Go to Sephora.  Ask for help picking out something when you are there.”

What woman in her right mind would send a man to get her make up for Christmas?  It’s okay to want these things, ladies.  It’s okay to ask your men to do these things for you.  But be smart!  Tell him something like this:  I would love this product as a gift.  You can only get it from Sephora.  I would so appreciate it if you would give me a gift certificate to Sephora so I can go wild with experimentation!  I’ll email you a link.  Done.

It’s emasculating to get a man to shop for make up for you.  It’s like him asking you to change his oil for him, go to Home Depot and find 3/4 inch flat screws or weed wack for him.  The hot men I know would never ask their women to do these things for them.  (If the woman wants to do it that is another story!) So why do women emasculate their men like this?  Anger, Bitches.  We all get angry with men.  Men from our past, things our Dads did to piss us off, communication differences, blah blah blah.  If you don’t think you’re angry at men…you are one scary Bitch.  You aren’t being honest with yourself.  You are truly scary!  Get rid of the anger, ladies…you will start to see the love.

Sometimes in our zeal to have a man show us love, we miss the ways he is already showing us.  This is a symptom of not taking care of your anger.  As for the people out there who are trying to turn men into women?  This is an angry woman at work.  They don’t get them so they’ve decided to change them.   And give up all their power.  Men are not women.  The sexes have differences.  Brilliant differences that work in our favor as women.  Men produce for us.  Let them do it.  In their own way.  Yes, tell them what you want, but respect their hot maleness.  Get rid of the anger and you will start to see how they would do anything to make us smile.  Even shop in the make up aisle at Walmart!  Just because they would do that for us doesn’t make it right.  Respect.

Appreciation gets you so much more.  When your anger starts simmering, breathe, don’t be critical and try not to take your frustration out on him.  This is taking your power.  This is the ultimate control.  Let men be men.  Don’t control them by getting them to do things for you to “see how much they care.”  It’s sooo good when you release that control and appreciate.  You can’t even imagine.  Consider when you are finding love.  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

For more on finding love:

  1. Self Esteem Sass Zappers 101 http://bitchlifestyle.com/self-esteem-sass-zappers-101/
  2. Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

4 comments to Finding Love Do You Emasculate Men?

  • I would never tell a man to buy me makeup. To me, makeup is more personal use and I would be afraid that I did not give enough information causing him to get the wrong kind. I would not want him to feel bad if he did buy the wrong kind either. The thought is great, however, women should tell men EXACTLY what they want (like time together or maybe jewelry!)and then they KNOW the man can get it with no issues. 🙂

  • Goddesspower

    Nice, Jacklyn! Make up is entirely too personal. 🙂

  • James

    First off, I am a man – a physically strong and successful man. I see women trying to put down and emasculate men (myself included) every day. Just last night my old teammate from college invited me to go to dinner with him and a few of his female colleagues (they are all physician assistants, I work in commercial lending). Several times during dinner I caught one of the women (pretty face…ugly attitude) rolling her eyes in response to some comments I was making to the two other two guys about how some of my other old college buddies and I used to go crash parties at Stanford, as well as stories about how my old buddies and I used to bike from the Silicon Valley to Santa Cruz and then camp out near the beach on weekends— stuff guys do when they’re in college. I called her out a bit on rolling her eyes, she denied it, and just a few minutes later she was at it again. Later, as we were standing on the street, waiting for a couple of our friends who had to put something in their cars catch up, a group of very drunk people who seemed like they may have been arguing about something started walking in our direction. I became distracted a bit, and immediately said to the women I was with, “hey, i was distracted a bit just now so I didn’t catch what you were saying. I was trying to determine if I was going to have to tell you ‘let’s get out of here, because those people coming look like trouble’ . I then immediately repositioned myself such that when the group of belligerant drunks walked by, I would be standing between the drunks and the women I was with. After the drunks walked by, the two women in my group at the time started making remarks about how foul mouthed the drunks were, but then the PA who had been rolling her eyes at dinner said somethingbthat struck a bit of a nerve. Her comment was, “That’s how you were going to protect us.” I kind of ignored the comment, and said to her, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sure you can handle yourself just fine.” A couple of seconds later, I told everyone it was time for me to go (quite frankly, I didn’t have the desire to pend any more time with a couple of women who clearly don’t appreciate or respect men). Here’s the kicker- I wrestled in high school, have been in a couple of fist fights (several years ago) with my dad and brother, as well as a couple of fights as a kid. I know what getting punched in the face feels like. I know what it feels like to lose the skin off of your knuckles after punching someone. I once accidentally broke a teammate’s rib at practice. have also sparred and wrestled with old buddies and roommates who practiced aikido and jujitsu, and who worked as US Marshalls. I know a dangerous situation, and I know how to and am physically strong and fast enough to respond. Despite all of this, the ‘lady’ PA still thought it was appropriate to try to emasculate me by putting down my defensive, non-violent approach as opposed to offensive provoking stance as weak. Driving away, I laughed a bit about the whole thing and also felt a bit disturbed and disappointed about the whole situation, because I have seen this scene get played out time and again. Truly strong men first attempt to respond to conflict and danger by neutralizing the situation. It’s sad that emasculating women frequently try to put men down by acting in ways that will actually protect them. Bottom line: If I wasn’t around and the drunk guys wanted to physically overpower the woman, she wouldn’t have stood a chance, and seeing as I was there, if the drunk guys had come after me, they would have likely both been on the ground with bloody facescand broken limbs within a few seconds.

  • Goddesspower

    Thank you for writing such a beautiful post, James! There are so many women out there who do not get it. Here is James…a man trying to protect women in a potentially dangerous spot and they don’t
    appreciate that wonderful male quality: Men wanting to protect. Shame on them. Note this post, ladies. Men go through just as much frustration with women. All James was trying
    to be was a “gentleman” and he is not appreciated. Notice when men are doing things like this for you. Give them a huge warm hug and thank them with a warm thankful smile! Love, Goddess

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