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Finding Love Does He Love Me?

Damn Yankees Video from RhinoEntertainment’s YouTube Site

Finding love…does he love me?  You have a new man in your life and things have been going well: Dating Tips for Women:  Let a Man Chase You Here’s How   You’ve been dating steadily for a few months.  You’re having fun and getting closer.  And then you say it.  You give your man a term of endearment, like “honey,” or “baby.”  He says nothing.  Or worse, he gets a panic stricken look on his face.  Not what you expected.  Fun times cease to exist.  LOL.  Why does finding love have to be so hard!  So what is that about, ladies?  In this post we are going to answer 2 important questions.

1.  Why did he panic when I gave him an endearment like “honey” or “baby?”

2.  Why am I upset about this?

Let’s take number 2 first.  And let’s agree that we get upset.  We react emotionally. On the outside we may be calm, but our emotions on the inside are going haywire.  We feel put off when a man we just gave affection to seems to rebuff that affection.  And that’s completely feminine and perfect.  Except, that we are responding to the situation as a female.  We aren’t thinking from the male perspective.  We are responding as a female, and he is responding as a male.  We’re both responding according to our own unique female or male nature.   So let’s break down each “nature.”

“Female Nature.”  The reason why we get upset: when a guy calls us “honey” or “baby” and we kinda like him but don’t want to get any more serious, we freak out a bit, and say to ourselves, “well, he’s a great guy and all, but I don’t think I want it to go any further.”  So when the situation is reversed, and the male reacts that way, we think…oh he doesn’t really like me that much.  How many of you have been here?  I have, LOL!

“Male Nature.”  Is processing.  The reason why he is reacting this way is…he’s just realized he cares about you, too!  There is huge feeling going on and now he realizes he is vulnerable and could get hurt.   It’s a lot for him and he may need a moment…or a day or two to catch up.

So what do we do?  We let him catch up and stop thinking this is about us.  And it’s hard!  We’re female and react in a feminine way.  How easy is it for us to walk around telling those we love “we love you!”  “See you later…love you!”  “I miss you and love you!”  Hug and kisses blown.  Very feminine.  Yay us.  Men don’t do this activity as much.  Have you noticed?  They are more likely to say something like, “Later, bro.”  LOL.  So when men tell you they care and or they love you it’s HUGE!  Remember, men demonstrate their devotion to you through actions.  Yay them.  When they say they care, it’s HUGE.  So lets cut them a little slack, work against our very feminine nature and try to understand his male nature.  Play with this and make it no big deal.

But Goddess…he should try and understand where I’m coming from!  Please. (that was sarcasm)  Love is action.  If you are caught up in “what he should be doing for me” that is bratty and that is all about you.  Are you Miss Perfect all the time?  Do you want to be loved for who you are?  Do you want to be loved when you are at your worst?  This is where it starts.  If this is a man who has been showing you he cares through his actions, give back to him in a big way.  Understand his male nature and don’t take things so personally.   There is another person in the relationship.  Him.  And he doesn’t want to get hurt either.  This is a very vulnerable time for him.  Respect it by letting him process that he cares for you.  This is a gift…you are being patient and still loving while he is being vulnerable.

I love the song “High Enough” by Damn Yankees.  It deals with this very subject.  The song is about a male panic attack when his girl called him “baby.” And it’s so sweet.  He admits he made a mistake and didn’t know what to say. Then he asks her to “take him higher” in the relationship.   Listen to the above video and enjoy.  Play this song if you get this kind of reaction from a man who cares about you.  Smile at your “female nature.”  Think about how cute you are for reacting emotionally.  Remember the “male nature,” and don’t take his reaction too personally.  And…by doing that…watch him move closer to you!  I would love to hear any experiences you’ve had regarding this subject.  With love laughter and a big hug, Goddess

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