By   October 18, 2011

Gorgeous image from Two Asian Matchmakers

Flirting Basics.  Do you know the one word a successful flirtation relies on?

Confidence.

Confidence.

Confidence.

The way you get confidence?  Through daily practice.  Yeah…practice means work.  Things that people do that seem effortless takes discipline!  Passion for what you are doing!  Let’s use the classic sports analogy.  One of my favorite athletes is Tom Brady.  This weekend, with 22 seconds left in the game, he threw a touchdown pass to win the game.  He made it look so easy.  The reason why he made it look so easy is because he has done the work.  His teammates have done the work. He and his teammates have spent hours going over that one play.  Hours working their bodies so they can perform at their absolute best.  Hours pouring over playbooks, video and meetings discussing execution.

Flirting is a lost art.  It takes similar practice to execute.  It’s all about fun, play and confidence.  And practice.  You have to practice this art.  On everything that moves!  Puppies, girlfriends, the guy you meet at a store.  Each time you try you will get better.   This would be Tom Brady making a touch down pass when he is ahead by 40 points.  It is much easier and there is less pressure to make the pass then.  This helps you when you meet the guy you absolutely adore.  This is when you will need every drop of confidence you’ve gained.  When you need to be confident like Tom Brady in the last 22 seconds of the game.  The game isn’t on the line…it’s your heart!  So you want to have ALL your wits about you, be completely focused and still play the **** out of the flirtation.

So let’s break it down.

A.  Confidence.  In yourself.  Knowing who you are, what you like and being in love with every Sassy Drop of YOU.

  1. Every day take a moment to adore something about you.  Your body, your hair, eyes, luscious butt.  If it’s your eyes, accent them with a little glitter eyeliner.  Then blow yourself a kiss in the mirror before you leave the house.
  2. Get your life in order.  Whatever you have, love and appreciate.  Take pride in the order of your finances, closet, computer, goals, beauty routine, home.
  3. Make a list of all the things you love to do and plan them.  Make dates with your girlfriends and family.  Work that calendar.
  4. Instead of apologizing, look to what you could do better.  Focus on that.
  5. Embrace and be passionate about your talents.  Share the energy of that passion with those you love and meet.
  6. Get rid of edgy energy by working out.  With focused intent.  Ie:  Anger?  Punch it out with kick boxing.  Discover what works for you.

B.  Confidence:  Flirting

  1. Follow a beauty routine.  Start small.  Maybe with your favorite lip gloss or bright scarf.  Wear something out everyday that makes you feel gorgeous.  Notice how it makes you feel.  Is your smile a little wider?  Do you notice men looking at you?  Take notes!  The point is to see what works for you and work it.
  2. Smile.  It’s sending out warmth to everyone you meet.  Do this for men, women and children.  If they react, play a little more.  Add a compliment or playful word.
  3. If you’re on a date, compliment the man you are with.  Men love compliments.  Add a sassy, warm smile while you compliment.
  4. Touch a man lightly on his shoulder, arm, hand.  Add a compliment.
  5. Whisper a warm compliment in a mans’ ear.

C.  Confidence.  Deleting your Drama Queen.

  1. Laugh at yourself and don’t take the whole thing so seriously.  This is play, remember?
  2. Flirting takes confidence, and a dash of vulnerability.  If you feel uncomfortable, it may be fear.  The more you try, the less this uncomfortable unease will affect you.
  3. Join our Bitch Lifestyle Facebook community for more confidence.   We are building a community of women who will have each others’ backs!
  4. Keep reading and doing the exercises on this site.  Investing in you builds your confidence.

Sound like a lot?  Anything worth it takes work.  Start small.  A few minutes a day.  Make it part of your routine.  Look at the picture of Tom Brady above.  Something tells me-the smile on his face-that the effort is well worth it.

Love, Goddess

Private Coaching with me available. For more information: Private Coaching 

© S Stevens Life Strategies

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