Free Email Subscription

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Bitch Lifestyle The Manual

If A Man Wants To Borrow Money

Marilyn Monroe money image from

If a man wants to borrow money from you, ladies, I have a one word answer for it.

RUN!! Period.

I get so many emails from females that are having problems with guys asking them for money.  Some have only known these dudes for a few weeks!  Whenever I ask one of my guy friends about this, they say, “Don’t do it.  Don’t lend a guy money that you’re dating.  Or who is a boyfriend. That’s not cool.”

Why?  This is what the good men know:

A man will not ask a woman he truly likes for cash.  The man you want takes care of himself and looks for ways to take care of you.  I don’t care what the reason is.  He needs this, he needs that.  He wants to buy a car.  He tells you he’ll make it a loan.  Don’t fall for it.  He will not pay you back.  Contract or no.  Want to see some proof of this?  Watch a court show on TV.

And a lot of women take advantage of men this way too!  He’ll take her out to dinner and then when they are on errands she talks about what she “needs.”  Does she whip out her cash?  No.  She’s waiting for him to take the bait.  And the nice guys will.  She’ll use him then dump him.  When he could have been with:

The Bitch.  The Bitch takes care of herself.  She wants the man who can take care of himself.  That’s what grown-ups do.  Take care of their lives.  They don’t expect anyone else to do it for them.  So in conclusion:

  1.  If you are dating a guy and he asks for money?  RUN.
  2.  If your boyfriend asks you to borrow money:  RUN.
  3.  If a guy friend of yours asks to borrow money:  RUN.
  4.  If guy friend asks you to do financial stuff for him:  Mommy or Sexy Bitch  RUN.

Run TO the man who is responsible.  The man who takes care of himself and looks for ways to take care of you.  And I’m not talking only money here!  Run to the man of action:  He doesn’t “say” he’s going to do something.  He does it.  The man who opens doors for you, gives you warm hugs, fixes things for you and is interested in your life.  Let me know what you think.  😉  Love, Goddess

Are you going through this problem in real life?  I have the course and the tools to help you attract the men who wants to worship you…not use you as a bank!  Your Re-Awakening

This post is dedicated to my brother Gary who is very adamant about the subject. Instead of giving it to him-give to yourself and increase your net worth, beauty!

One Up On Wall Street

The Wall Street Journal Guide to Money and Investing

The Millionaire Mind

Think and Grow Rich

Bitch Lifestyle Home


© S Stevens Life Strategies

75 comments to If A Man Wants To Borrow Money

  • Elisa

    uhm, agree. I’ve made that mistake and learned it in a hard way with my ex. Stupid, but I was in love.

    And just finished dating with a guy who talks more than he acts (good that I’m done with him anyway). He is rich, good looking (a hot body!), a pretty good cook and a ‘trying to clean up’ guy who said ‘I’m a different person now that I’ve met you’ bullshit. Gave me his keys to his place when he went away for three weeks(a very trusting action), and his water got cut off in the second week cause the water bill wasn’t settled (which was about US$50), so I did that for him so he would have water back on when he comes back(and I was staying there for a bit while he was away). When he came back, he thanked me and said he will pay me back but never did.

    I trust not that the US$50 is alot to him, cause he makes more than 200 times than that amount of money anyway. But he just doesn’t care about other things except making more money and partying till morning a few days a week – yikes! I had enough of that ‘ready to settle down’ bullshit! (Sorry, whenever this is brought up, I still got a bit frustrated…)

  • Goddesspower

    Elisa Honey,
    This rocked! I think you should turn on your favorite song and dance your booty off
    to your brilliance. This guy did not please you and you freed yourself.
    Go you!! Love, Goddess

  • Elisa

    Thanks. I reckon so, I freed myself. Later I got news from someone that this guy said he knows I’m a very nice girl but he has problems… well then, be with the problems as he wishes, that’s his life, that’s his choice. And I already went onto a nice date with a new guy, so much fun! I’m better off now definitely.

  • Goddesspower

    Yes, Elisa honey! You’ve got it. Hugs, Goddess

  • Spell Vixen

    I love your dedication to Gary! RUNNNNNNN if a man wants to borrow money , um you need to kick his butt out the door, buh bye!

  • Goddesspower

    Yes, Gary, God of Sarcasm is quite smart. Love, Goddess

  • lamonica anderson

    Thank you SIS

  • Goddesspower

    You’re welcome! 😉

  • lamonica

    What if they talk about not having money alot?

  • Goddesspower

    If it’s a young man, they probably don’t have a lot of money yet. Which is fairly normal. Men want to create security first in their lives so they can take care and provide for someone they love later. In order to become a man they need to do this for themselves. It’s their problem. Women who give them money aren’t letting them grow into a man. A man who asks for money from a woman is too immature or scared to “man up” and do it on his own. That’s why a woman should run from this kind of man.

  • Rachy

    This is a wakeup call for me!thanks heaps been in relationship for 5 years and constantly he asks me for money for his business and that he would pay back,thousands of dollars later, didn’t happen now did it ???? would go out to dinner and he would stand back to let me pay or conveniently forget his wallet.I had a go at him for being a tightarse and he turned into a huge fight and went cryin to mamma and told me this in SMS “Good work sabaraege the rest go hard I raised my family from nothing to some thing I work hard to pay the bills travel 5000 km to get job i am doing the best that I can fuck u mate fuck me over” and “U will get yours mate” and” Weak as shit grow up your nothing special anyway”and”go sit on shelf find what u want stop fucking with me”and “U are far too mean there is no love”last SMS “U are far too mean there is no love go away rach” so ladies don’t let him bludge off u cause in the end he won’t appreciate it anyway let him grow a set of balls and pay his own way!

  • confused

    I was talking to a child hood friend/crush who moved and lives 10 hours away…he asked to borrow $400 because his car was in the shop. Well me being the “nice girl” that I am & knowing he didn’t have any family to help him, I let him borrow it. He said he’d pay me back in a few weeks…only paid half of it back and said he wanted to save the other $200 for a trip to come see me a a week. He DID come see me when he said he would and we had a great time together. He is moving home(here)actually in a few weeks and said he would like nothing more than to date me. Everything about him is everything I’ve ever wanted and he makes me feel very special, & brings out the absolute best in me. However, in the back of my mind, I still think about him asking me to borrow money and not paying me back in full…kinda confused? I do NOT want to put myself in a situation that I’m going to regret later on. Any advice?

  • Goddesspower

    Hi Confused…
    You’re right to be confused. By agreeing to spend the $200 on coming to see you, you have forfeited that part of the money-in his mind-IF you agreed.
    Why don’t you tell him to pay the money back to you first and then see what happens as far as dating? Then he will show you whether he has integrity or not.
    You deserve nothing less. Make sense? Love, Goddess

  • This can also create a man being dependent on you financially and that’s not a good look!

  • Goddesspower

    Yes, Milah…you’ve got it. Who wants to be someones’ “Mummie”? I don’t. Love, Goddess

  • cancerlady28

    this dude I was seeing asked me to borrow 50 bucks to get his plates or title for his car. After I practically laughed in his face i told him hell naw! U got a job by your own damn title! I aint your girlfriend! He said you are my girlfriend! I said what!? when did we establish this?!? Then he says he dont sleep with nobody else but me. I told him whatever u must have forgot how many times u told me that u have alot of women nevertheless the answer is still NO you a grown a** man get your on shhh!!! Or go ask one of your other lady friends for money! Then he hung up on me! lmao!!! Jerk! So i tell u this ladies dont lend no man money a real man makes his own and dont have to depend on a woman for shhhh!!!!!!!! Only broke worthless womanizing bums ask women for money! Kick they broke a**ses to the curb like i did him and laugh in his face! (*_*)

  • Goddesspower

    Yes! Love it Lady! xoxo Love, Goddess

  • Darlene

    Within a year. I dumped 3 guys coz they think im their bank.. Yup im a banker.. But im not own da bank. What s wrong with da guys nowaday ?????

  • Goddesspower

    Hi Darlene,
    Go you for kicking these guys to the curb! Unfortunately, a lot of women do not understand that they have so much power over men. So they let men run all over them. Not here. Welcome
    to the Bitch Rebellion! Love, Goddess

  • PassionateOne

    What if he says, a family member got hospitalized and that the bill went skyrocket to more than 3000$, would you believe that? would you loan him? would you make an exemption and lend him them money? im uncomfortable but guilty. im torn apart. i want to loan him for humanity’s sake. but i feel bad about myself and for him. i dont want to loan him to save him and myself for future discomfort and embarassment. 2nd date. no gf/bf relationship. just date. what do you say?

  • Goddesspower

    NO! Do not lend this guy you barely know ANY money. RUN! He is playing on your “niceness.” Tell him you hope things get better for him, wish him well then MOVE ON! Seriously. Do not engage him anymore and delete all contact info. Period. End of his story. PS: Think about it. Why can’t he go to his FAMILY for a loan…hmmmmmmm?

  • mary

    the right thing to do was: meet him first and plan after be engaged in real life! I know all this but i was trying believing in good! :(

  • Goddesspower

    Mary, you are a beautiful, intelligent and sassy woman. You deserve a man who wants to provide, protect and be there for you. Let this guy find his money somewhere else and open your heart ONLY to the man
    who wants you for you. Join our Facebook page and surround yourself with fun women who will be your cheerleaders for this! Love, Goddess

  • nakeshia

    Thanks for telling me to run. this guy who am dating always want me to lend him money. I never lend him a penny. He claim he is a business man but am puzzle why he always asking for a loan. Hemade because i didnot lend him the money and told me to go hell.

  • Goddesspower

    I am so proud of you, Nakeshia! Go you for running…and welcome to our Sassy Bitch Rebellion. Love, Goddess

  • Niharika

    Thanks for the advice.I had a similar experience,I had known by bf for about 6months. he said he is well off and all. I found him as a lazy bum.He said he was earning a lot of money but I don’t trust him now,meanwhile he sold his car and got a big amount.he wanted to buy another car and for that he needed some more money.I am financially independent and never ever asked him a that time we had a real fight when he asked his friend who is a female to loan him cash.then he came back and said he had stopped all those plans and we were again happy for 3more before a week he again asked me lend him my hardly earned money which I had myself kept for some emergencies and I said no way since I have some very important plans, at once he disconnected the phone and pulled me out from all his contacts in fb,gmail and all those stuff he blocked me.I am very happy now to know that he never ever loved me and I wasn’t fooled around Nd I was saved from such a bloody relationship.I really wish him best of luck to go to hell…:)

  • Goddesspower

    I’m soooo happy you saw through his bs. GO YOU!!! Love, Goddess

  • Babyangel

    Well me and this guy have started a relationship and we have talked about having sex and so on and he is saying I have to buy the condoms and stuff and I was really shocked. Now he is asking me for money and I asked him for what and he jus tells me I need money. For some reason I tink he is trying to take advantage of me. Also, he is always asking me to put minutes in his phone. I did it before out of kindness but then it started getting too constant. What do I do?

  • Goddesspower

    Babyangel: RUN!

  • Chris

    I just asked my fiance for some money because my Dad is in jail and I live in the middle east where its very difficult to get justice. My Dad was framed by his company and put in jail because they didn’t want to pay my Dad’s gratuity when he leaves the company.

    My mum doesn’t have a job. I told my fiance that I will give her a post dated cheque as guarantee if she gives me the money.

    She pointed me to this article. I am 23 and I don’t have that kind of money to release my Dad from jail. I borrowed from my Dad’s friend the most and I needed a little bit of money more which my Dad will pay my fiance back when he is out of jail.

    She pointed me to this article and she think I am like this article says and thats totally not true about me :(

  • Fancy

    Lending a man money is not healthy. Two people who really want to be together, should start with a proper foundation, “getting to know each other” for however long. Do small things for one another. A man who borrows money, makes you wonder if he’s capable of taking care of you. A man should be a provider, but it is a bonus if both parties make their own money. There is nothing more sexy than being proud of your partner for his hard work, without hesitations.

  • Goddesspower

    Love the way you think, Fancy! “There is nothing more sexy than being proud of your partner for his hard work, without hesitations.” That’s what we all want, yet it is surprising how few of us
    actually do the action needed for that, huh? Love, Goddess

  • Goddesspower

    Hi Chris,
    Sounds like you’re in a really bad situation out there. I’m sorry to hear that. This is a very complicated question to answer in this venue. I haven’t heard her side of the story either.
    Let me ask you this: Outside of this scenario that you have described to me, have you shown by your actions that you are the man who wants to take care of her? And does she take care of you like a man should be? Relationships go both ways. You’re a smart and resourceful man. I have no doubt you will find the way to help your Dad. I’d love to hear you tell me about your victory in dealing with this difficult issue! Love, Goddess

  • Debra

    I foolishly became involved with the biggest mooch, loser EVER, over 20years ago, while getting divorced from another loser, mooch. What really bothers me the most, is that my so-called “friend” at the time, had encouraged me to become involved with both of these greedy pigs (accusing ME of being too “materialistic”–yeah right, at least *I* WORKED for my money) and looking back, I think it was mostly due to her jealousy and desire to see me penniless and humiliated–maybe it helped her to feel superior, who knows. In both instances, I ignored my “gut instinct” about these jerks and lo and behold–just like I thought, they were BOTH after my money, and believe me it wasn’t ALL that much either. The 2nd jerk even taught his nasty brat sons to use me. The older one had admitted to me, after I broke up with his father that he was encouraged to dress in raggedy looking clothes/shoes, so that I would take pity (which I did) and buy both the creep and his ungrateful, nasty, rude kids stuff. I think what bothers me the most, is that the swine of a “BOY-friend” actually earned $200 a wk more than I did and lived rent-free in a house his dad owned, yet had nothing to show for all the 20yrs he had worked–not even a used car paid for and maybe all of $4,000 in a 401k. Total loser. Of course he blamed it on his fat, lazy, stay-at-home mom of a cheating ex-wife, that squandered his paycheck on stupid diets, gym memberships, clothes, her hair and nails (such a “priority” since she hadn’t worked for 15yrs), booze, etc. I guess it was his way of getting back at ALL women–by stealing from, making a fool of, and blatantly using me. And my own fault for being so stupid, trusting and depressed that I even gave him the time of day. Now, years later, I am permanently disabled and unable to work any more, so I can’t even earn back what that filthy slob/”born again Christian” (no less) stole from me. Not to mention the fact that I am so jaded any more after that experience that I have no desire to even be in a relationship. THAT’S the risk you take ladies, when getting involved with trash, whose only goal is to bring you down…

  • Liz

    Ok, I met this guy, who is getting divorced and we have been talking for a little while now.. So, anyway, My job just cut me back on hours so everyone knows im struggling, however, I am still holing my own… He flat out tells me ” your in need, so I want you to use me, take my money, use my debit card, use me” and he like friggin gets off on this… and wants me to act like this to him…. Please tell me, is this normal.. are there really some men who like to be used??? its so strainge

  • Goddesspower

    Hi Debra, I’m so sorry that you went through so much with this guy! But I’m also happy that you saw the truth and moved on. Don’t let your anger keep you from embracing a wonderful man! When you’re ready to do that, take my course “Re-Awakening” it has tools that will help you let go of the “jaded” and start to open up again. Here is the link: Love, Goddess

  • Goddesspower

    Hi Liz. I’m sorry that you have been struggling! It really is a hard thing to adjust to and still hold your own. Go you! I think, however that you may be looking at this the wrong way. Part of that is because you are taking charge and making sure to take care of YOU. Try to look at the amazing part of this…how lucky you are! Here you have a man who wants to do ANYTHING for you to make your life easier. He wants to give give give to you. Pretty amazing. Why don’t you try a little gratitude with him. Say something like this: Use his name and then “this is so amazing and thoughtful of you to want to help me like this. I really appreciate it. I’m so used to taking care of myself and this situation has thrown me for a loop. Let me think about how you can help me and then I will share with you.” Then do it! Make a list. This can be very simple.
    1. I would love it if you took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant.
    2. Let him take you to the grocery store but then cook him dinner to say thank you.
    The point is, keep it simple. It is too much (it sounds like) for you to take his debit card and cash. Understandable. Keep it simple and find ways that would help you. Let him be a man for you. How does that sound? Love, Goddess

  • FurryMom

    Hi Goddess,

    Thank you for your spreading the word in a healthy way. Although it may be common sense all over the blackboard to some, others completely miss this lesson altogether. While I believe there are extremely rare exceptions to loaning out money, they are exactly that – rare exceptions (Disclaimer: if you’re on this page you aren’t an exception… seriously…. AND RUN!!).

    I speak from experience on the receiving end of this scenario and from loving others (both genders) on the receiving end… There can be different types of people asking for money out there and different reasons why. Here are the main reasons I’ve heard (from what I consider to be the the most manipulative type): DIVORCE(S), transitioning/changing job/career, bankruptcy, health issues (themselves, past spouse, parent), etc. On the surface, some of the reasons you’ll hear will be “good” reasons – but when you dig a little deeper – you’ll see the bigger picture. For example, they’re driving a new car, bought a diamond ring during the “bankruptcy”, rent a home that’s completely not conducive to paying off debt, AND they have $ for their hobbies and travel. LOOK and TAKE NOTES – These financial problems are generally coupled with larger issues, big spending/unaffordable habits, credit card debt, student loans, and rarely (if any) savings. They MAY have at one point in their lives HAD money, but it’s the past, but they’re still talking about it.

    Life happens – things happen – does someone pick you up and do your financial plan FOR YOU?! No. Does someone make you eat healthy, go to the gym, show up for your job for you? No. So, quit picking up someone elses bills, planning someone elses life. Love yourself – love the life that you can give to someone worthy enough to respect you (themselves), your (their) money, and a future together!!!

  • Goddesspower

    Beautifully said, FurryMom! Wise words from a Sassy Woman…Love, Goddess

  • Sasha

    I just wanted to say, my boyfriend has asked me for $15,000 of which I did not choose to lend. He said it would be smart and I could think of it like an investment because he’d pay back more. On our first date, he said he’d lent $20,000 to a friend of whom he was later offered to move in with to repay the debt since he didn’t have anywhere to go after his divorce.. funny how when I reminded him of that lame choice, he swore he never said the sum was $20,000 and that it was only 8 or 9 thousand of which the guy paid him in $20 and $100 sums which he never recorded and now is owed about $3000.. and the guy kicked him out. So here I have a bf who lives at his business office and I’m not sure he tells me the truth all of the time. The other night I called and I heard a woman laughing a few times in the background, he said that it was just men over and Why do I want to make him mad? Welll how rude. I don’t want to make anyone mad, I just don’t want to be played like a cheap fiddle. Then today on the phone, he says “we went out to dinner with my son”. I said, as any smart woman would, what do you mean? Who is “WE” because you said we to which he said “my son and me” and I’m baffled, I said you said WE and he swears we implied just him and his son but I’m KNOW when someone says “we went out to dinner with kid” that implies a party of more that just him and the kid. This guy then said in anger and impatience, “Sasha, go to sleep, it’s late there and I need to drop my son off” uhhh yeah, at 10pm, time to drop off a kid, wtf. WHAT AM I DOING?!?

  • Goddesspower

    You are doing exactly what you want to do. You want a man who lies, treats you like a child, tries to borrow money and cheats on you. What you deserve is a man who is honest and trustworthy. When you WANT that, check yourself immediately into my course “Your Re-Awakening.” Love, Goddess

  • Nakia

    I started back talking to an ex from 20 years ago, and he is always asking me to spend money for something he needs, and it doesn’t sit well with me. I a single mom with 2 teenage daughters’ one of which heads to college in less than a month. How can I focus on or like a man that is always in need of something. I just got back money for things he asked for weeks ago, mind you he still owes me $20 and today he asks for $50. What man does that? I wanna tell him to stop asking me for stuff I am not a money machine.

  • Goddesspower

    Hi Nakia,

    Sounds like this man is still a child looking for a Mommie. You are right on the money (no pun intended) on this one. A man who is willing to take the hard earned money you earn out of the mouths of your children is one you should RUN from. Free yourself. Love, Goddess

  • Aileen

    I’m 16, and not that popular but a popular at guy school asked me for $300 to order something online. I ordered it, and he gave me 200$. He gave me $13 so far, so 213$ has beeen repaid. Its summer so i dont see him, im scared i wont get it back, and im moving. I did it because i was scared i would be called names and im not the most confident person. i made $25 online to pay my dad back. Im so ashamed i dont know what to do. i shouldve told him to fuck off but i was so lonely and he talked to me so i didn’t know what to do. im going to make the rest of the money back but he says hes going to pay it back but its so slow. He knows im going to move and dragging it out. He only pays me back a couple dollars per time. It was basketball shoes, and he got 3 new pairs since i got him that pair. Hes a liar at school and relationships, and i feel so stupid for believing him. I can’t run because i need the money.

  • Sharon Stevens

    Hi Aileen,
    First off, do not be ashamed. You have learned a valuable lesson…don’t lend a guy money! The great thing is, you are moving and you can start fresh. If you are ever in a similar circumstance, just decline
    politely. Say you “wish you could, but don’t have any.” All you can do now is hope he’ll pay you back. If he doesn’t, look for other options. Like baby sitting or a part time job. Working part time will increase your confidence. Again…don’t feel bad. Learn and move on. Key: learning and not putting yourself through this sort of drama again! How does that sound? Love, Goddess

  • Nina

    Hello everyone. I am happy for you all to move on from deadbeats that have no goals and want to mooch. It is truly sad that alot of women and men go through this in their lives. It hurts even more to see a loved one being used. A decent person wants a mate who can help support them, NOT USE THEM. I see this all the time and this is the main reason that I had to let alot of my so-called friends go for good.

    Now I may be thinking about this too hard, but there is this guy I work with. We have alot in common, but I don’t date on the job or any of that crap. We are just friends. But, sometimes we will have conversations about traveling or buying something health wise. He would ask me the cost of some of the things I purchase, and after telling him the cost, he will go on and make a comment like, “You got that type of money”. He has said this three times now. I tell him that I don’t and he says nothing after my statement. I’m trying to figure out if he says that more than once because he sees me as a potential bank ATM in the future? He says his previous relationships ended “REAL BAD”. I don’t plan on being in a relationship with him or anyone in the near future, but I wanted to know if his actions are a hint of a wannabe mooch or is it just talk?

  • Sharon Stevens

    Hi Nina,
    Welcome to our Rebellion! What you wrote is beautiful and true, thank you for you words.

    As far as what this guy said. It sounds like he is being a bit judgmental toward you. What a shock, huh? There is judgement everywhere today. I think he is putting his past “stuff” with money on you. That doesn’t make him a bad guy, but yeah, I would call that a red flag. Maybe don’t share with him how much you spend. If he asks why you’re not sharing change the subject.

    Make sense? Love, Goddess

  • Guest

    During discovery of a relationship it’s a good idea to not talk about money per-say but observe him.
    A good indication is how he spends it, on himself, his family and friends and his debts and bills.
    Also look at his lifestyle. Is his apt/home scarce? I always try to see a new mans home as soon as possible.
    The way he lives sends you signals of the way he earns.
    Be on guard for his questions or comments on how you keep house or spend money. If he says “oh that’s too expensive”
    “why are you spending so much?” “you must be rich or something” “I wouldn’t buy that, can’t afford that”
    Also a man who wants your money will be a man who tends to run hot N’ cold. He does this because he knows, as a con man that alot of women love to please. So be aware he’s playing on your emotions. The best way to tell is how you feel.
    If you feel, insecure, uncertain, mystified, guilty, drop him. It’s you’re inner intelligence and intuition that is screaming at you to get the hell away from any man who makes you feel “Less” and believe me, they will push all of these buttons, like a slimy used car salesman.
    You will then get the “request” – “can you pick me up… on the way” – “it’s pay day tomorrow, can a borrow $ until then” The best way to handle that last one is like this “Pay day is tomorrow, you need money today, don’t you have any in your savings account?” Then LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN.. you’re about to hear his excuses (and they will blow your mind) why he has no money in the bank or if he even has a bank account. You’re going to very awaken, listen and get the hell out of Dodge.
    If you EVER EVER EVER see a man counting or showing off a ton of bills, GET THE HELL OUT. People who have no money often flaunt alot of money when they can. Stay clear. It also can mean they get paid under the table. Very shady.
    If they gamble and you don’t, run faster. They will try to convince you to do it too or ask you to put money on a bet to get you interested or even more sneakier, they will ask you for money to place a bet for you. A con, a sham, a looser. Don’t fall for this, EVER….
    I dated all of the above for 2 months before I was convinced and even though I never lent him any money I still should have left as soon as I saw his spartan apt with not even a book, let alone a magazine to be found. My life lesson “no more Miss Pleaser. EVER EVER AGAIN. It was a hard one won.
    My validating clue, was when he told me he was having dinner with his ex wife, (the hated one, just another story) He said to me “I had dinner with the ex and the kids, I told them about you, and how rich you were, they are all jealous”
    So there it was, not only was he in it for my money, he puts down his own family in the process, using my hard work and gain as a way of boosting his own ego. Totally disgusting and I told him so as I left.
    STAND YOUR GROUND, ASK THE QUESTIONS before some con man gets your emotions hooked. DO NOT get your emotions hooked until you’ve got solid answers and have seen solid actions. You will never again meet a man who is a looser if you keep your head ahead of your heart. If you do, it will take you a very short while, not for you to exit, but they will first. Always be very very happy for the men who drop out of your life. They know you’re too real, to aware,
    to even try to pull one on you. Let them find a sucker, I’m not one of them!
    Watch them ladies, more men are divorced, out of work, alone, broke and can’t get their act together.
    If a man says anything derogatory when you ask “so, what do you do?” and they give you the “oh, that question already” attitude. They are not enjoying their work or have none, they are setting a no talk rule, they have something to hide. Don’t spend your life under the moon, find the sun, let the clarity be real. Discovery before commitment. Love yourself at all times. Use discretion at all times, life is what you buy into.

  • Sharon Stevens

    Hi Ms. Integrity,

    Amazing…thank you for writing such an awesome comment. You have some excellent points here that we can all use! Love, Goddess

  • Pall

    HI ,

    my bf always take care of me and love me. After a month i asked him to go for dinner in a good hotel he said he is saving money for future to buy flat. i said ok. when my birthday is coming he is saying he is going to buy watch for me . on my birthday he gifted nothing saying he has family problem and supporting his family . i said ok . i asked to for a movie he said he is comfortable in morning show nt evening or afternoon becoz saving money for future . i said for 100 and 200 rs you are becoming rich . o fought him related to money . i donot know wht to do . Everytime he makes excuses in terms of monetary terms . Plz advice me and guide me . i make him understand a lot but he is nt just bother

  • Sharon Stevens

    Hi Pall,

    Your boyfriend seems to be very clear in that he does not have a lot of disposable money. He is saving and thinking for the future. This is very responsible. In your own words he “always takes care of you and loves you.” You sound like a lucky woman. Take care of him back by doing this: Find inexpensive things to do together so you show him that you respect the fact that he is respectful of money. That is a loving way to appreciate a man who loves you. Make sense? Love, Goddess

  • Lisa

    Known this guy for few weeks. Called me his girlfriend. Lent him 20 pound and not heard or seen from him since. Feel so foolish!!!

  • Platinum

    I hate to admit this too girls, but I was briefly fooled by a guy I hardly knew over six months of dating. I met him in May and by August he was asking me for a loan. He played on my heart strings and I felt bad for him, but any man that does this doesn’t care and only seeing what he can get. I knew that once he did this that this was the end of us. He asked me for money right before christmas and I didn’t give him one cent since he didn’t pay me back the other time which now I don’t hear from him at all. He was just using me…just looking for someone who was foolish enough to take care of him and his child. The advice I can give you girls is meet a guy that already has his act together from the start and not in-between jobs, or not able to support himself..the signs are always there you just have to look for the red flags in the beginning. We all deserve romance and a guy who isn’t a mooch!!

  • Sharon Stevens

    Thanks for sharing your story, Platinun…you are very wise! Love, Goddess

  • giovanna dagostino

    Hi everyone, I am a very successful independent women. I saved up my money and bought a fixer upper. My boyfriend of 5 years is fixing it. When were done I’m going to rent it out. I pay all the bill. I always tell my boyfriend I’ll pay him for his work but he says no. I feel like technically he does get paid cause I pay for all the bills, and every other week he asks me to barrow 500 to 1000 dollars which he’ll pay back maybe 100 to 200 dollars back to me but he never gives me credit at all what I do for him and says he has been working for me for free cause he loves me and wants me to be secured for my future. Before I even bought my house he has always asked to barrow money and I always helped him out. We get in a fight all the time about him borrowing money, I feel like romantically I’m getting over him. But I feel bad cause he has fixed my house for me. I’m so confused on what to do. Cause he says not to pay him for his work. But every other week he is “borrowing” money from me all the time. I feel like me buying this house is taking forever it’s already been over a year. I just can’t afford this anymore. And being with him I feel like I will never finish my goals in life. I love him and he does everything for me and is the sweetest man ever. I’m finally getting to the point that if he asks me to barrow money again I’m going to move out and pay the rent at the house we live at for the next 8 months. So he could get on his feet. And to repay him more for fixing my house. And I’ll just move in with my best friend and pay her 400$ to rent a room from her. I just need to take a chance for myself to live life and save for my goals. And I feel like that would be a good way to get out of it without feeling guilty about leaving him. I just can’t do anymore of him “borrowing” money any longer. And yes his fixing my house. But I feel like I never know exactly where my money is getting spent cause its always getting mixed into his business, and he says the money he owes me sometimes get spent on our other workers we hire for fixing the house. So last night he borrowed 900 once again. And which I already let him barrow 1200 from two weeks ago. And I told him to not use the money to pay our workers for labor. And I’ll pay them which I always do at the end of the week. So this is his final test. And if he asks to barrow money again. I’m just going to move out.

  • ak

    The guy I have known for some time but we live in different prvinces and has dated but not seriously is asking me for money and it is not the first time he ask thought I have never offered the first time.i visited the province and drove over 240km and we went out with my friends and him and he never spended a and him we drove in my car , I bought booze and the next day I drove back home and since then he sms or buzz me to phone him evertime.after two days I came back he send me an sms that he Is broke so ke mo zame meaning I should offer some money.isnt he thinking that I used petrol to travel and drove around still to go out that night and I bought booze, really aftef two days he is asking for money fro me.sorry m not giving any money its high time I RUN.ThNks for this side itsa eye opener .

  • Sharon Stevens

    Good for you for RUNNING Ak! Love, Goddess

  • Pisces Jay

    Hi. I’m in a long distance with a guy who is physically disabled. He had three strokes and can’t move his left side of his body at all. He received disabilty which is only about $700 a month. He also makes about $300 extra from him having a caregiver. They split the money because he doesn’t have them do anything but wash the dishes once a week for him. He is a mama’s boy, he’s admitted that to me. He often has his mother buy him groceries and sometimes she’ll drop off food that she cooks to him. He lives in a low income apartment and pays a very low amount for rent. Last month his cable got cut off. He is a tech geek so he’s always talking about this new galaxy phone that he wants. He wanted me to put it in my name (contract) because his credit is bad and he said that it will but boost my credit score. My credit is bad too but a little better than his. I told him no. Since his cable is cut off he doesn’t have internet and he asked me if I could get it in my name. I told him that I don’t feel comfortable because he might not be able to pay me back and that plus I watch alot of judge Judy. lol He said that he always pays his bills. (I wanted to bring up his cable being cut off but I didn’t want to argue) He got a little frustrated and said: “Fuck it, I know what I’ll do.” He also got a little extra money this month somehow and he’s offered to send me money (I’m currently unemployed) but I always refuse and when he asks me why I tell him that I just don’t feel comfortable with that. He’s paid his mother’s phone bill this month and admitted to loaning her $150. He also asked me if I’d help him pay off his tickets once I get a job. I told him yes but I know that I won’t. He talks about marriage and calls me his wife as well. What do you think about this?

  • Sharon Stevens

    I think you should re-read the article and take my one word advice. RUN! Unfortunately, I don’t think you will do this. Why? Because you read the article and still asked me what to do. This is about your confidence and neediness. When you are ready to attract a man worthy of you take my course:

  • jullanne

    I have been with a guy a year now …He knows I have money …He allows me to buy everything .. food…His clothes …cigarettes…He has even more or less asked for £2000 to move his mother into a house and get her all new things…He sends loving and thankful texts all the time…but his actions never seem to match his words …help

  • Sharon Stevens

    What was my one word answer, Jullanne?

  • pookie

    Hi there,

    I’m a 1st student and I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for almost four years now. He still lives with his parent and is about 3 years older than me. He never keeps a job and always has a lame excuse for why he quit but that is besides the point. He is good to me and loving but we never really go out and do anything except in the festive season with all his friends. When he does have money he tries to do inexpensive things with me which i find cute. This previous weekend he took me out on our first real outing ever but on monday he told me he did not budget well and overspent and asked if i could borrow him 250. I felt guilty and borrowed him because i know his financial background but now i just dont know how to express my feelings that i dont want it to happen again and i need him to start “getting his life” without being mean i really love him but it disturbs me he asked for money. please help me!!

  • Sharon Stevens

    Pookie…what was my one word answer?

  • Suzanne

    Just happened to me. Online dating. 9 weeks of daily amazing texts, emails, phone calls. He has the sexiest Viking accent in the world. Said he was a provider and protector and couldn’t wait to come home to me, spend every waking and sleeping hour with me. He had to go to UK to get a contract signed and to get a project done on an oil rig. No reason for me not to believe him. Sent me pictures of him on the ship, in the UK, we talked about what we wanted in a healthy relationship, things we wanted to do together. He told me to get my passport so he could take me to Norway to meet him mother over Christmas. Was going to come home to me last weekend. BUT…..on Tuesday last week, he comes out with his cousin was handling his money for him while he was gone and the cousin made off with most of it and the oil rig needed one more part and in order for him to complete the project and keep his business cred, he needed to come up with the money somehow. Gullible me, and because of the multiple texts, emails, phone calls over this time, I was brainstorming with him as to how he could come up with the money. Then he dropped the could you see fit to lend it to me? I will get my first check from the project on November 16. I went ballistic. I told him my ex husband was always desperate for my money and I don’t lent money to men and a real man doesn’t ask women for money. So…..of course he broke it off with the reasoning that I am so sure that all men are out to fuck with me and he can’t be with and woman who doesn’t trust him and he’s a provider and didn’t I know how hard it was to ask me, and wasn’t it like him pointing a gun to his own head, and it was bad enough that a blood relative made off with his money, but for his favorite girl in the whole world to call him names (???? cuz I said a real man doesn’t ask a woman he’s only known for 2 months for money???) and yell at him and I need to get help and with help I could turn out to be a real gem.
    Holy mother of God. I’m so devastated that A. I fell for all the plans and I love yous and sexy ass voice. B…..not sure what was real and what wasn’t.
    The thing is, he never said how much he wanted.

  • Sharon Stevens

    Suzanne….you made the right decision. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You did not know him. Stop over thinking this and move on. Now go do something good for yourself and celebrate how smart you are. Love, Goddess

  • John

    What about when a woman asks for money. Should a man also run away/

  • Sharon Stevens

    John…that would be a yes. Don’t you want to be with someone who can take care of herself? Love, Goddess

  • Kelli

    I have been dating my bf for almost a year now. He is amazing, sweet, sensitive, smart, and respectful. He will do anything I ask him to do. All of my friends seem to love him. But lately I have been rethinking our relationship. He has a full time job and works very hard, but is somehow always broke. A few months ago I offered to loan him $600 to get his license back, which he promised to pay back. I have been very patient and have not brought it up once, hoping he would start paying me back. He still hasn’t. Last week, once again I offered to let him borrow $1,300 so he could pay off a loan he had been paying crazy interest on. I care about him and felt bad that he was throwing his money away on interest that I gave him the money and said he could start paying me back once he got his stuff together. He refused a few times, but I eventually accepted my offer. I know he’s a good guy and he will pay me back. But the fact that he’s 28 and still doesn’t have his shit together makes me rethink our relationship. whenever we go out or go to the store, I always offer to pay because I feel bad that he doesn’t have money and I don’t want him to feel embarrassed. He will act like he’s going to pay, but he always lets me pay. Sometimes he even says that doesn’t know where his card is or that he doesn’t have enough cash on him and that he will pay me back, but never does. I have worked very hard to save up money for myself, for my future so I never have to depend anyone. In a way I feel that I’m being used. If he can’t take care of himself now, how can I ever expect him to be able to provide for a family one day.

  • Sharon Stevens

    Hi Kelli…You feel bad? He is a grown man. He should be responsible for his actions. Like paying his own interest. If you want a little boy who needs someone to take care of him? Great you’ve got him. If you want a man you can rely on? Build a future with? Look for a responsible man. This dude isn’t. Love, Goddess PS: Want to learn how to handle these situations with me one on one?

  • Denise Foxx

    I don’t get asked by men all the time, but sometimes I do. I hate for a man to ask me for money especially if he hasn’t shown anything to me yet. There’s this guy that I like, he asked me for $200, now keep in mind he’s hinted once before about giving him some money and I just brushed it off, giving him the benefit of the doubt. I told him I’ll see, which means HELL NO! I had the hots for him and now that fire is gone. I really want to avoid this in the future, is their a certain type of woman men ask for money? Is it because I’m full figured? Or maybe, is it because I’m a kind hearted individual?

  • Rachel

    A friend sent me the link to this page. As old as the original post is, it still resonated with me. I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years. To make the long story short, in that five years, he cheated on me, lived with me for three years for free, “borrowed” money from me (lost track how much), laid hands on me one point, didn’t pay for any date or trip, and lied to me. Finally, got my wake up call and I am moving on. Thank you for this post!

  • Sharon Stevens

    Go YOU Rachel!!!!
    One for moving on and TWO for sharing.
    Your email will help others to do that very thing when they’re faced with a similar situation.
    Welcome to Bitch Lifestyle! Love Goddess

  • Sharon Stevens

    Denise…let me bottom line this for you with one simple question: A Dude has no money and you think YOU are the problem? This is his problem. Not yours. YOUR problem is that you don’t see this! Get yourself into my coaching program ASAP so you can stop this kind of behavior and start enjoying the good guys instead: Love Goddess

  • Chrissy S

    My man borrowed $20 and would not pay it back telling me I had the nerve to ask for it back because I was his girlfriend. Yet I borrowed $20, 3 times and paid back immediately each Time. Then he has the nerve to ask me for $800 I tell him I don’t lend because I don’t mix business with pleasure plus I don’t have it. Then he tells me he doesn’t trust me financially as if I would rip him off. What gives? Sounds he wants to be taken care of. Geez , he can’t even pay me back $20. And now he’s mad I can’t give him $800 without a contract when I have already made myself very clear. Sounds like a gold digger to me.

  • Sharon Stevens

    So, Chrissy…are you going to RUN or sit around and let this guy use you?

Leave a Reply




You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>