By   June 23, 2010

 

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Do you concentrate on your “lack of love” or “giving love?”

Years ago, I used to focus on the lack of love in my life.  I gained weight and got sad and pissy.  On the inside I was focused on the lack of love I was receiving.  The outside was sunny and warm.  And false.  I decided that was not working for me.  And I couldn’t fit in my cute clothes anymore!  So I surrendered.  I waved a little light pink flag high in the air.  I realized that I was giving love to the wrong people.  People who didn’t love me back and pretty much took all that I was giving.  Over and over.  Why would I do that?  It’s safer.   Huh?  Yes.  If I’m giving love to the people that don’t deserve it, I’m keeping up with that internal monologue I had going.  “I have a lack of love.”  And I’m protecting myself from opening up to the real thing.  Which was much scarier to me. I even added an extra layer of fat to my body as “insulation.”  That insulation was a metaphor for my life.  You won’t hurt me because I have a wall I cleverly put up physically and mentally to keep you out.  Upon that realization I celebrated.  I waved my little pink flag.

I decided to surrender to the idea of not protecting myself anymore.  By concentrating on giving love and being thankful,  I’ve reset that internal “lack” clock with “abundance.”

And I’ve lost the weight.  I really take care of myself.  The warmth I was exuding on the outside entered my body.  The most amazing, adoring, wonderful, giving men have entered my life.  They stick like glue.  I’m grateful and love them back.  I have a circle of friends that would do anything for me.  The ones that have used me in the past have disappeared.  I don’t miss them or the drama that accompanies them.  It’s wonderful to have a group of friends that I know will be there for me.  I know that when I do something they don’t agree with, they’ll love me anyway.  Because it is who I am and they love me.  As I am.

It starts by waving that little pink flag.  Or lavender flag…whatever colored flag you want.  And starting your love affair with yourself.  Falling in love with yourself is one of the scariest things you’ll ever do.  But it is one of the most fulfilling.  You will never leave you.  Next week we’ll kick off our “Love Affair Week.”  Step by step, day by day we’ll reverse the lack of love, let go and just do it.  Love.  We’ll adore ourselves and those that adore us back.

You ready to take that first step, gorgeous?  Play with me.  I can be a lot of fun!

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

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