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No Expectations, Please

Mmmm…gorgeous blue, warm, tropical water

No expectations.  Being in the moment.  Going with the flow.  Accepting any obstacle that’s thrown in your face with the phrase “This is perfect, something is coming that’s even better.”

Sounds easy, doesn’t it?  It’s not.  It takes practice and a huge change in mindset.  Then add this to the mix:  I’m doing A, B or C.  This is supposed to be fun.  Everyone else seems to be having fun.  But me?  Eh.  Doesn’t do it for me.  So am I crazy? A downer?  No fun?  No…I just want something else.  Knowing it.  That is the serious trick.  Being in the midst of something, not feeling it and changing direction.  Going in the direction you want.  Even when the rest of the herd is going in another direction.  Okay.  That was a lot.  Let’s break it down into two delicious bites.

1.  Learning to go with the flow, no expectations and letting the curve balls thrown your way slide off you.

2.  Focusing on the other possibilities yet unseen, Parts One and Two.

My best friend and I, Mary Ann, were in South Beach this past weekend.  There were parties galore, a wedding to attend and so much more.  We were expecting a hectic, crazy weekend with little sleep.  What we got was completely different.

1.  Learning to go with the flow, no expectations and letting the curve balls thrown your way slide off you.

There were so many examples of #1, but here is the simplest.  Friday night party:  We got there at 12:30 am  because we were really glamming it in our hotel room!  As we were walking into the party, all of our girlfriends were leaving!  Mary Ann says:  “Is this a bad sign?”  I laughed.  We enter the party on a gorgeous rooftop.  It’s beautiful.  Candles, comfy sofas, palm trees, soothing sensual music.  And like, 10 people.  Mary Ann and I give each other knowing glances.  We order a drink.  The bartender is so plastered she forgets how to make the drink.  When she makes it, the top falls off the lime bottle spigot into the drink and she fished it out with—her hand!  Another knowing look between Mary Ann and I.  We drink our drink, and I say…”Are you done?”  She laughs and says, “Yeah.”

We took longer to get ready than we were out!  Was it a disappointment?  No.  We had a great night at our favorite pasta place in South Beach Rosinella, had a blast getting ready, were entertained by an inebriated bartender and relaxed on a warm breezy rooftop with beautiful music.  And…there were two parties on Saturday night!  No worries.  Guess what?  Saturday night’s parties went the same as Friday’s.  We got all glammed up, and we were raring to go!  Gorgeous dresses, make-up and sass to burn.  I think we were the first ones to leave.

2.  Focusing on the parts yet unseen, Part One.

This is the point we realized that this time it wasn’t about the partying and the crazy in South Beach for us.  It was about the relaxation.   She is a personal assistant for a wealthy man.  I run my own business.  And an improv group.  We needed to relax!  We relaxed all afternoon at The Delano.  We did the same on Sunday.  That’s where our fun heaven was.  By the pool, on the beach, skinny dipping in the warm water.  And you know what?  We couldn’t see how much we needed to relax until we actually did it.  For a whole day.  We still didn’t realize it until we discussed how lame we thought were being.  We were not being lame.  We were doing exactly what we wanted to do.  Relaxing, dressing up, making our entrances at a fabulous parties, and then leaving.  Perfection.  No following the herd was necessary.

Heaven on earth: The Delano Miami www.delano-hotel.com/#/home/

  The Delano Pool…why would you want to leave here? 

2.  Focusing on the parts yet unseen, Part Two.

We were finally relaxed and realizing that was perfect.  Here is where #2:  “Focusing on parts yet unseen, Part Two” comes in.  We realized we wanted new experiences in South Beach.  Spread our wings.  So we were walking along the beach one morning, myself, Mary Ann and two other friends.  I said we should go to the Bahamas on one of these trips.  The two others in unison said…”Yes!  We could hop on one of the cruise ships for a few days!”  Done.  We are researching now.  We also discovered new restaurants, a fabulous place to watch football, early morning walks on the beach (in the past we would have been too tired to take) and so much more.  Bottom line:  We captured our bliss.

Bitch Review:  Relaxing expectations and not over thinking helps you see the hidden gems around you.  Slowing down is key.  Our faced paced world makes this really hard.  But you must.  Relax.  Breathe.  Take a shower.  Pamper yourself.  Take time for you with no guilt.  Enjoy thoughts that pop in your head and the possibilities.   On vacation, between vacations and days off.  You must do this for yourself, honey!  This will lead to much less drama, not taking things so seriously (especially fun!) and seeing humor in things not going your way.  And that is perfect!   Love, Goddess

For more:

1.  Sign of Sassy Strength

2.  This Guy has Absolutely NO Game!

3.  Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

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