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On Being Blunt

Today at Bitch University we discuss a very important weapon in a Bitches’ arsenal:  Being blunt.

From the Merriam Webster online dictionary:  Blunt: being straight to the point DIRECT.

To be blunt in speech is speaking frankly and getting straight to the point.  Being blunt focuses on the problem and how to solve it.

It also creates trouble.  Trouble that may solve other, unseen issues.

I experienced this trouble today.  I sent out an email to a group of people addressing an organization problem.  I stated exactly what needed to be done.  The men in the group got it and thanked me for it.  Because men speak bluntly and are producers, they did what I asked them to do.  Right away.  A woman in the group freaked out.  Literally.  Lashing out to me.  We’re talking full Drama Queen here, Bitches!  I didn’t take it personally because I was focused on solving the problem.  I was able to do this because:

1.  I get rid of frustration daily with exercise.

2.  I knew that her Drama Queen Brat had a lot of frustration that had nothing to do with me.

I took action by doing the following:  Addressing her in a calm way.   There were reasons why she was frustrated.  I didn’t know them.  They had nothing to do with me.  If we were going to trust each other I could not disrespect her by dismissing her frustration.  And I could learn some valuable information.  Things can only go one of two ways:  Good because she’s reasonable.  Bad because she isn’t.  And aren’t both good?  You either gain someone you can work with or someone you know needs to go.

Things wound up going well because her frustration was purely about something else.   She, on her own, realized that she was out of line, apologized and did what I originally asked of her.  How did I accomplish this? 

1.  Taking care of my own frustation and Drama Queen.  I’m normally patient.   I’ve upped my capacity to deal with things calmly and patiently through kick boxing and other exercise.  God send, ladies!

2.  She sent me multiple emails.  I only answered the ones that addressed what was “on point” (my goal-group organization).  The ones that were whiney, bratty and otherwise accusatory went unanswered.  When I answered her “on point” emails in a calm tone, I let her know that I appreciated her feedback  and answered her questions in a bottom line way.  I knew she was already regretting some of her emails, so I knew by treating her with the uptmost respect, she would feel worse.  Very effective tactic.  And this Whiny Brat needed to be put in her place.  You think I want to deal with Whiny Brat all the time? 

3.  I may have gained an ally in the process.  Jury is still out.  Whiny Brat needs to work on earning my respect.  When you treat people the way you want to be treated, even when they may be a pain in the ***, that patience will serve you in the long run.  Respect is earned.  So is disrespect.  More here:  Cowardice and The Bitch http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/07/cowardice-and-the-bitch/

So in conclusion, I’m thrilled this person freaked out on me.  LOL.  Even thought I had some Monday Morning Drama, it was resolved.  And it gave us something to learn from.  Has this ever happened to you?  How do you take care of yourself so you remain calm when the **** hits the Monday Morning fan?  Would love to hear so we can all try!

Love, Goddess

3 comments to On Being Blunt

  • Spell Vixen

    Great story, great tactics, can’t wait to hear how the future will pan out with this bitch.

  • Mary

    I handle it in pretty much the same way. I recognise issues where emotions have been thrown in but sometimes when I’m emotionally swayed, I can get rather upset and take time out in the bathroom for a cry. I’m in a management position so I have to get there pretty quick before any tears turn up.

  • Goddesspower

    Managing people is one of the hardest things to do! I’ve done it all my life. Nice job taking care of yourself before letting emotions get the best of you!

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