By   April 4, 2012

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Outsmart back stabbers.  How do you deal with them?

Right now I’m dealing with a back stabber.  I run an improv group and someone crossed the line with me.  I communicated to this person in a bottom line, respectful way.  So they tried to circumvent me by talking to other members of the group.   When others in the group asked about the situation I said  “Why is so and so talking to you about this?  They are putting YOU in the middle of my decision.  Which isn’t fair to you.  They should be talking to me.  If you see so and so, tell them to talk to me about it.  Let me deal with it.”  Now the little back stabber has to go through me to get what they want.  This person, on their own, closed the door on opportunity.  So let’s discuss effective ways to outsmart back stabbers!

  1. Don’t trust them.  Back stabbers want what they want and that’s it.
  2. Don’t criticize them.  Be nice.  I will always be polite to this person.  If they freak out on me I’ll be rational and to the point.  This is power.
  3. Don’t marry a back stabber.  I get emails all the time from women who want guys who have stabbed them in the back.  They don’t trust them, but they still want to be with them.  Why would you want to marry someone to whom you can’t trust?
  4. Don’t believe what they say about others or about a situation.  They say and do anything to get what they want.
  5. Never try to one up them.  This will only fuel their desire to hurt you.  If they are on your last nerve, kick box it out.  Take a long walk.  Take a breath and remember:  what they want is for you to be upset.  If you give them what they want they will only repeat the cycle. Over and over whenever they need their “fix.”

So what do you think?  Have any fun and effective tips for dealing with back stabbers?  Please share on our Bitch Lifestyle Facebook.   

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  3. Signs You’re a Sassy Bitch  
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2 Comments on “Outsmart Back Stabbers!

  1. karen normandy

    Writing an article about how one person hurt you gives them the power and makes them the center of your world. Just because you are hurting, don’t lose sight of your message hun!

  2. Goddesspower

    Thanks for being my cheerleader, Karen. It’s acts like yours that will make us stronger for each other. Warm hug. No worries, though. This person hasn’t hurt me. I see what they are doing
    as a way to potentially hurt someone less confident. I will re-read and make that point clearer. Deeply appreciative, Goddess

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