What You Can do to Land a Man! Give Me a Break.

Fun vintage pin up from the website http://31.media.tumblr.com/

 

I watched a morning news show today, ladies.  Apparently there is a best seller on the market right now that tells ya’ll how to “land a man!”  I knew where they were going with this.  I so wanted to flip the channel.  But we’re all falling in love with ourselves aren’t we?  So, in the spirit of our common goal I watched and listened.

 

I was assured up front that these were some of her “best tips” on how you should “land a man.”  It was all about pleasing him.  What a shocker. Now I’m not saying “do nothing” to please your man.  When you care about someone and you’re having fun and respect each other it’s reciprocal.  What I don’t want to see us do is make it all about him.  Her “best tips” are in italics.  My thoughts follow:

 

1. Make sure your bedroom isn’t too frilly, girls!  You don’t want to scare him.  As an example a bed was shown that was dressed in grey sheets.  Grey sheets?  I am so not a grey sheet girl.  What do you think the chances are of me changing my bedroom around for HIM?  I have a gorgeous pink boa above my bed.  I love pink boas.  They make me feel sexy.  And I have used them on men for our pleasure. (Slowly caressing each other with a pink boa is SO fun and sensual!) I’ve never had any complaints. The boa stays.

 

2. Throw away all those beige bras!  They are not sexy.  Excuse me?  I love my beige bras.  I find them to be comfortable and practical.  Love the frilly ones too and yes they make me feel sexy.  But do you really think if you are standing in front of a guy in a beige bra he really cares about the bra?  Do you think he is saying to himself:  “God…she’s gotta throw out those beige bras in order to “land me?” This may be a little more accurate…”Mmmmm….breasts.  Whoo hoo!!!!!”

 

3. Next was advice on various things you don’t want to “pop out” on a date.  Falsies, nails, etc.  Dolly Parton has broken all those “pop out” rules since she was a teenager.  She loves herself and is a brilliantly successful woman.  She is utterly charming and says point blank:  “This is who I am…take it or leave it!  Love me for who I am.” Yay Dolly!

 

4. Wash your hair!  Huh?

 

5. Wear this and that fragrance because that’s what men like.  Of course this doesn’t take in account our own unique sexy body chemistry.  Why should it?  This is all about pleasing and landing a man right?  Why would I ever want to wear a fragrance that would please…me? (In case it didn’t come across…that was sarcasm)

 

This advice is so demeaning women.  We are beautiful women with our own minds, our own sense of style.  Books like this do not bring us up.  They bring us down.  And women are making these things best sellers!  So let’s get back on the Loving the hell out of ourselves Band wagon!

 

Your assignment is to boldly love yourself with abandon today.  Do unto your body only that which makes YOU feel fabulous.  I would love to hear how it goes for you!  Love, Goddess  

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© S Stevens Life Strategies

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

My Love Affair with Myself Passed on to You

It’s coming up, ladies…Valentines Day.  The concept is wonderful.  Let’s celebrate our love!  But the over-marketing has taken a lot of the joy out of it for me.  What will he get you…the wait and anticipation can drive you nuts.  And for the guy…he really has to produce something amazing.  And men LOVE to produce.  (upcoming blog)

 

 There was a great commercial on the radio last year.  Two guys were discussing Valentines Day.  They had no idea what to get their girlfriends.  Worse, the things that women love to receive they don’t really understand.  (Hello anything from Victoria’s Secret) They were dumbfounded on how to produce for their girlfriends.  “This is like her Super Bowl,” one says.  LOL.  Ladies, they get the importance to you and don’t want to disappoint you.  They just don’t understand all this forced lovey dovey stuff.  Like we don’t understand their fascination with football.  So…the solutions, fair ones?  Fall in love with yourself so one of the following will happen:

 

 

  1. You are able to communicate exactly what you would like to your man:  clearly, concisely one thing.  One want at a time.  Then be thankful and excited when he does it for you!
  2. If he does get the wrong thing, you still must appreciate his effort!  Anticipation of what he may do kills this for us.  And guys know we anticipate certain things and fear he won’t meet your expectations.  This is why you must thank and appreciate what he does.   He will see that you appreciate the effort he made and will be grateful you didn’t lose it on him.  (blogs coming up on how men deliberately test you)

Remember…most men DO NOT know what a woman wants.  (See earlier blog)  It takes patience, knowing exactly what makes you glow and clear communication to make him understand what you want.  This solution also works for the luscious single gals as well.  Hearing and seeing all the love from happy couples sometimes makes you want to throw a shoe at the TV.  Focus on lovely you, instead.  The world is so lucky to have YOU!!!! 

Your assignment today is your “Love Affair with Yourself.” 

  1. Do you know what your favorite chocolate is?  I conducted my own little chocolate survey.  I love Callebaut dark chocolate from Belgium and Teushcher Champagne Truffles.
  2. What would be the perfect date night for you?  Where would you go? Would you stay in and have your own little music or movie festival?
  3. Write a love letter to yourself.  What is fabulous about you?  Write it and post it up so you can enjoy it.  Put it on pink paper and perfume it like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde.

Have fun!  Love, Goddess

 © S Stevens Life Strategies

 
 
 
 

 

Impatience…a virtue?

 

Self-love tip of the Day:  When you are feeling something…really feel it!  You have no idea the incredible resource your emotions are.  Internationally known for her empowering approach to women’s health and wellness Dr. Christiane Northrup says:  “You have to feel it to heal it.”

 

I wanted to exercise last week and my music machine wasn’t working for me.  I got more and more impatient.  I wound up yelling at the machine and breaking my Madonna’s Greatest Hits CD.  Now that was productive, wasn’t it?  LOL.  Actually…it was.  I learned a lot when I stopped and listened to what my body and my impatience were telling me.  I realized how destructive and pointless my impatience was.  But you know what?  I may not have seen that so clearly if I hadn’t allowed myself to get so upset.

 

Women have been taught by society to be “unemotional” to get ahead.  Good practical advice.  You don’t want to be breaking things at board meetings!  But there’s truth and learning in all our emotions: even the unpleasant ones.  Our bodies are screaming for us to deal with it.  Can you imagine what a lifetime of tamping down negative emotions can do to a person?  If we don’t listen to those emotions, we can’t learn what’s bothering us and then we can’t solve the problem.  The problem keeps getting buried deeper and deeper in our bodies.  Then, since we don’t learn anything, the problem grows.  Slowly, over time, you start dealing with negative emotions in a not so productive way.

 

What did I learn from breaking that CD?  When I stopped to listen to my impatience, I realized how patient I was with everyone I cared about.  I’m loving, understanding and always encourage them so they can succeed.  The perfect cheerleader.  Why couldn’t I be my own cheerleader?  The impatience told me I needed to be more patient with myself.

 

Now when things aren’t going right I slow down and breathe.  I give myself a hug by doing something that makes me feel good.  It may be a nice hot shower, putting on some lip-gloss, dancing to a fun song.  Then I’m off to the races again.  Happy, focused and motivated in my tasks for the day.

 

This took practice, ladies.  Just like savoring and celebrating yourself.  Embracing the negative in you and seeing the message within takes practice.  Investment in yourself— investment in your inner Goddess.  So practice giving yourself a break.  The next time you are pissed off, sad, impatient, exhausted beyond words, do something pleasurable for yourself.  Relax and realize your body is telling you something.

 

I’m going to frame that Madonna CD.  Why?  To celebrate my impatience. My impatience has taught me so much.  Thank you impatience!  Love, Goddess

Got impatience?  Check out these interesting books!

The Power of Patience

Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living

© S Stevens Life Strategies

It’s Glamour Week, Beauties!

Ahhhh….Glamour. That lovely luscious Glamour Diva that pulls out all the stops in the name of her beauty. She tantalizes, seduces and with a bat of her lashes gets her every desire.

She’s probably the last thing you’re thinking of today. After all, you just came off a long weekend full of celebrating, barbecues and relaxing. It’s a Tuesday that’s really a Monday and you are busy! Career, kids, errands, commuting. Some of you are probably reading this and thinking: Really Goddess, did you sniff too much fresh air this weekend? And you know what? For all of you out there thinking I’m a little crazy with this glamour stuff first thing in the morning? I think it’s cute. It makes me smile. Remember my Destine story from Miami? If I can work Destine in the name of fun and pleasure, can you maybe, just maybe bask in a little of your glamour today?

And I mean just a little taste. Some of you may want to go full out. And I humbly applaud you!!! Like fun, flirting and loving every inch of you, glamorizing takes practice. But what fun! Here’s your week to play with your gorgeous self. Experiment and discover what makes your inner fashionista purr. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  1. Take some lip gloss, lipstick or even chap stick out of your purse and work it right now. Admire your self in  the mirror as you put it on. Seduce yourself in the mirror with it!
  2. Spritz yourself with your favorite perfume that you only wear for “special occasions.” Because every moment you are alive you ARE a special occasion.
  3. Take a few moments to enjoy yourself being the heroine in your favorite book or movie.  Eat something really glamorous: Brie, drink champagne or nibble on Belgium chocolate.
  4. Take a few extra minutes tonight to take care of your beautiful self before you go to bed. Use your favorite body moisturizer, spritz on some shimmer, brush your hair and savor the feel of it.
  5. Buy yourself flowers and put them by your bed.

 For extra credit: Bring something to work with you tomorrow that makes you feel fabulous. Those Chanel sunglasses, that bright red lipstick, a diva scarf. Whatever! Listen to your inner diva and let her run a little wild.

As always, I eagerly await what you discover during this “experiment with glamour.” And if you have yummy ideas? Please share with everyone! Love and a big red lipstick kiss, Goddess

 © S Stevens Life Strategies