Let’s Talk About Men, Baby!

I love men.  I appreciate them in so many ways.  (Watch for a male appreciate blog coming up)  They’re much less complex than women are.  Which leads to huge communication issues between the sexes.  In this blog we’re going to address communication snafus and other “male mysteries.”  Bit by bit.  Like my earlier blog on “savoring” we’re going to savor and celebrate the differences in our sexes.   

 

Savoring and understanding men for who they are is so much more fun than looking at men negatively:  “I hate men,” “ All men are losers, jerks.” I think this whole attitude about men sucks.  Yes, we’ve all met jerky guys in the past.  That’s the past.  Now is now.   So put on a new hat and let’s celebrate men instead.  Don’t you want to be celebrated for who you truly are too?  We start by celebrating ourselves as women, first.

 

When was the last time you celebrated yourself?  You—in all your womanly glory? You must love yourself first before you love a man.  Love yourself so much that you don’t give a shit what anyone thinks.  You rock, you adore you and you 110% know it.  We’re not talking about conceit here.  We’re talking true self love…flaws and beauty all.  Then you can communicate effectively what you want from a man and invite him into your fabulous universe.  One of the biggest questions I get from men is this:

 

“I don’t know what women want.”

 

It’s no wonder when we’re constantly fed what men want, but what about what we as women want? 

 

Let’s take a look at this months’ issue of Cosmo (Jan 2009)  “Bad Girl Sex” “Are you a Great Date?” “Drama of the Day.” Now I like fluff as much as the next girl, but some people take this stuff seriously!  Let’s look at another magazine cover:  Glamour:  “263 Juicy Answers from Guys”  (How they feel about you.  But what’s more important…what you know about you or what they know about you.  Remember…most men don’t know what you want) “21 Ways You Turn Him On,” (Great…but what turns you on fair one?)  Then there are “59 new tips you have to know about him.” 

 

Where’s the woman celebration?  Let’s start one right here, right now.  Let’s come up with our own “59 new tips about women and what you have to know “ right here on this blog.  Let’s make it juicy and fun:  60 Reasons to Celebrate Women!  I’ll start it off:

 

  1. Every single one of us has our own unique beauty, talent and passion for life.
  2. We can multi-task like nobody’s business.
  3. We give birth to beautiful babies!  Hence…we are the ultimate creators… 

Whatcha got for me ladies?  Let’s celebrate ourselves!  I’ll post the completed list soon.  Love, Goddess

 

© S Stevens Life Strategies

 

 

 

Passion…enjoy some today!

 
I looked up the word “passion” in the dictionary. There were 10 different entries.  9 of which had to do with sex.  Ironically the one that “turned me on” was definition #6:  A strong or extravagant fondness enthusiasm or desire for anything: a passion for music.  The most powerful definition is buried under all that sex.  I choose to live definition #6 because infusing passion throughout my life makes everything better.
 

I love the movie “Ever After” starring Drew Barrymore. (Cinderella saves the Prince in this kick ass version of the fairy tale) Cinderella/Danielle lives each day fully engaged in life, even though she is a servant in her own home.  She makes no excuses and meets each challenge straight on.  No whining.  She wants her fathers’ legacy-his home-to remain strong despite her selfish Stepmother.  Her father encouraged her passion and she absolutely adored him.

During an encounter, Danielle and the Prince are discussing politics.  Danielle is defending her opinion while challenging the Prince on his view on the matter.  The Prince asks her, “How do you live everyday with such passion?” “Don’t you find it exhausting?” It takes the Prince days to catch up with her. He realizes he can sit back, relax, experience and learn from Danielle’s’ passion for life. A little taste there, a bigger bite the next day. All good. When he met Danielle he found what was missing in his proper, regal courtly existence. Passion for life.

Most people are probably like the Prince when they meet a person infused with the passion that Danielle has. It’s utterly charming, infectious and can be overwhelming. Like anything passion takes practice. Practice the art of passion. Here are some ideas for you (Feel free to sample or take on as many as you like!)

1.  Admire yourself in the mirror. Smile seductively and really feel this phrase: “I am the hottest, sexiest woman in the world!” Be passionate about you.

2.  Take a bath.  Relax in the bubbles and engage all your senses.  Use candles, incense, sip champagne or nibble on cheese. Breathe deeply into this “passionate” relaxation.

3.  Play some music, turn down the lights, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Move your body or not. Just be in the moment.

4.  Go outside and do something active for your body. Notice how your body moves and feels. How lucky you are to have such a magnificent Creation—-yourself.

5.  Research this question: Which blanket would I most want to cuddle up in every night? Check out and enjoy different textures. If you are going to cuddle up in a blanket every night it should make you feel wonderful.

6.  Try on a diamond at the jewelry store.  Enjoy the colors, clarity the sparkle…and how it makes you feel.

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies 

 

The Lost Art of Savoring

My five-year-old niece is sitting in karate class. The instructor asks the kids in class a question. “What is your favorite meal?” One by one the kids answer: Pasta! Hamburgers! Pizza! My niece answers: “Dessert.” She absolutely adores dessert. One of her favorites is chocolate.

She loves dessert so much that she eats it too quick. And then she wants more. And that ultimately takes most of the enjoyment out of it. Then she gets that cute little look on her face. She’s in a little quandary. She so wants more, but her Mommy is trying to make sure she eats as nutritionally as possible. She is disappointed for two reasons: She had only a few moments to enjoy something she loves, and she is slightly frustrated because she won’t be getting anymore.

So I taught her how to “savor” with a small piece of chocolate. I told her to let it slowly melt in her mouth. We had a contest to see who would make the chocolate last longer and she won. She saw the benefits to savoring: it was much more pleasurable than wolfing down dessert in a heartbeat. When her Mom noticed her eating her dessert slowly one day, she got concerned! She said…

”What’s wrong…why are you eating your dessert so slowly?”

My niece replied with a contented voice…

”I’m savoring.”

Ahhhh….savoring. When was the last time you, gracious reader, savored? Was it when you were on vacation at the beach? When you were lying on the beach, listening to the rush of the waves, feeling the warm breeze lightly caressing your skin, enjoying the warm soothing bright light of the beaming sun on your face?

All of us should savor more everyday. Savoring takes practice. Savoring is an art. The French savor when they eat. I’ve read French people observe the meal as it’s set before them. They admire the presentation. They breathe deeply the aromas coming from the plate. They discuss the many nuances to the meal: texture, seasoning, where the flavors hit in their mouths: tongue, lips, back of the mouth.

The French are passionate about food. Savoring is passion! Passion for the moment you are experiencing….right now. Savoring is pleasure. Let’s start right now. Here are some ideas for you:

Close your eyes and savor the moment, and breathe deeply.

Eat and savor your meal tonight like the French do.

Tickle someone.

Savor a piece of chocolate like my niece does.

 

 

Next: Living with passion like this can be exhausting, or not. Your choice!

© S Stevens Life Strategies

 

 

 

 

Fear is a Future Emotion

Buffy image from www.anerdoccurrence.com

Buffy the Vampire Slayer-a strong, powerful woman who didn’t live in soltitude like most slayers.  She surrounded herself with loved ones and hot men! She refused to compromise on things that brought her pleasure.   Empowered Women understand that fear is a future emotion.

“Fear is a future emotion.” A brilliant man said that to me during an intellectual discussion we were having about pleasure.  So many people live in fear of things that may never happen.  Fear of failure.  (What if it doesn’t work out?) Fear with a potential love interest. (I don’t want to hurt them) Fear of the new.  (I would never try that) The strange. (This dish is served with raw egg…no way I’m trying that.)  The different. (You want to do what?) I personally get that one all the time, LOL.  Fear, to me is a habit.  A habit that can keep me from succeeding.  And worse, fear can keep me from pleasure.  There are so many buzz words or phrases today that make you feel guilty if you go for pleasure.  These phrases keep you aligned and focused on your goals.  Cool.  I get that and sometimes it’s very useful.  But these buzz words and phrases can also be negative:  “Good things come to those that wait” (This phrase actually makes me impatient when I hear it) I want to be successful so I’m “Burning the candle at both ends” (And because of it, I have no time for me, my family, friends and I’m exhausted to the point where I’m irritable and no fun)  “The early bird catches the worm.”  (What if I function better as a night owl?)  Or my personal favorite:  “No pain, no gain.”  (Just what I want to hear when I’m on the stair master)  I’ve found that by focusing on the pleasure of my ultimate goal and not the above phrases I get more done.  When I’m feeling not so motivated I have a series of things I do to give me pleasure that refocus and refresh me.  I’ll have a tea break and give myself a high five for what I’ve done so far.  I’ll dance to my favorite song.  I’ll nibble on a piece of chocolate.  I’ll put on my boa or tiara while I work.  Or…I’ll be deeply thankful for all I have in my life.

Lately every time I discuss “pleasure” with someone, that someone immediately thinks sex.  Did you, dear reader think the same?  I would love to know.  Pleasure encompasses so much more.  And “pleasure” is looked down upon somewhat in our society.  It’s frivolous.  A reward.  It’s expensive or a distraction.  Pleasure is what we should live for.  Have you ever noticed children at play?  A little 4 year old girl going from one pleasurable activity to another?  A puzzle?  Stickers?  A book?  Their pleasure is fascinating and infectious.  I always want to contribute to their fun because it makes me feel good, too.  I can go over to my nieces’ house and tickle them and we all feel good.  Laughter is one of the best forms of pleasure.  How good do we all feel when we make someone laugh?  So here’s my question:  How do we take that—joyous pleasure—and incorporate it into society today?

Okay…all together now.  “Goddess…you want to do what?”  I want to infuse everyone with joy, laughter, pleasure and play.  I want to make pleasure what we all live for.

We shouldn’t fear pleasure.  Pleasure is a choice.  Just like fear, doubt, jealousy or hate.  Which do you prefer?  The crap?  The drama?  The situations you can’t control?  Pleasure can be scary because it feels so good and can be taken away.  If you worry and fear it, that will be your focus.  And, yeah…all that pleasure will go away.  I choose pleasure.  Love, Goddess

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Suggested Reading:

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© S Stevens Life Strategies