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Respect and the First Date

 Image of Gisele Bundchen at: onitgirls.wordpress.com/

It’s 8:00 am.  I sit down at the computer to enjoy the last few sips of coffee and answer email.  I get an IM from a man who wants to meet me.   If a man wants to flirt with you have fun with it.  Communicate how you want to be treated and then watch his actions.   Practice this with every man you meet.  Practice makes perfect.   This conversation was about him getting me to do what he wanted.  It amused me.   Because I wasn’t falling for it.  In order to protect the less than innocent, we’ll name him “George.” My analysis of the conversation is in italics.  

George: do you know the north shore grill high st and ocean

Me: Yes.

George: can u meet me there in 20 minutes

Assuming that I have nothing else better to do than meet him for coffee=disrespect.

George: sit outside coffee…

Me: I’d love to, but I’m busy working.

George:  blah blah blah

George:  come on…coffee break

George:  just have a cup of coffee with me then you can go

Me:  I would enjoy having a cup of coffee with you… but my work is important and I have commitments.

George: i understand that

No you don’t.

George:  is 30 minutes going to throw off your whole day

I say nothing on purpose.

George:  never mind

He’s going to switch tactics with me.  That one didn’t work.

George:  i thought it would be fun to meet briefly

I get it.  The tactic is guilt.

George:  perhaps some other time

Me: It depends on when the 30 minutes is, honey. I need more notice. I run a business.

I’m not meeting at “the drop of a hat girl.”  If you want to meet me, then respect my time. 

George:  i figured it was relatively early in the morning and getting away now would be easier than later

You figured wrong.

George:  ok

I’ve won the round. 

George:  well…you tell me

It’s moving forward…

George: my cell is ******* text me anytime

Just took a step back.  He expects me to call and chase him.  Not happening.

Me: How about…Monday morning at 9:00 am. That would give me time to arrange my day.

I reiterate my point.  Sometimes you have to communicate your point multiple times with a man.

George:  i will be working in CT

Me: Oh come on. You don’t have 20 minutes? 😉

I just threw all disrespect of me right back at him.  In a playful manner of course. 

George:  that makes no sense.  i work out of state

Me: I was playing with you. You were playing with me about not meeting you in 20 min for coffee?

George:  yes…because you’re on the seacoast and working from home…

Here’s where I have to make my point yet again.

Me:  Just because I work at home doesn’t mean that I can just go at the drop of a hat anytime. I wish. Maybe one day, but not now. You know what I mean?

Have you got it now?

George:  yes i do

George:  maybe you will want a break later on…you have my phone…call or text me…we can meet… i’m not working today

Me: Beautiful day for you not to work. 

George: see you later…maybe

George: maybe?

Me: I have a feeling that we’re going to meet…? 😉

George: oh really…hmmmm

George: tell me more oh great psychic

Me: It’s a little unclear of the when right now (insert mysterious music here)

Let setting up the first date be his decision.

George: hmmmmm

George: do you see heat and passion flowing

Not with this IM conversation, honey.  But you have to practice with every man. Telling them what you want.  This will make it easier when you meet the man you REALLY want.

Me: A man of action, not words makes me see heat and passion.

George: so you like mutes.  LOL

Notice he’s being charming now to get what he wants. 

Me: if the mute signs what he is going to do and then does it. YES!

George: lol

George: well all this time you are typing from behind your monitor we could have been eyeball to eyeball having coffee

Here we go again.  Time to make my point again, but stronger.

Me:  True, but haven’t we gone over the whole giving me 20 minutes to meet you thing?

If he keeps going with this, he’s going to look like an ass.  My statement alludes to this.

George:  yes dear

He got it.

Me: smart man

George:  mom did not raise a fool

The jury’s still out, buddy.

Me:  Well…I have to focus on work now. Enjoy a gorgeous day off!

George: call me later on in afternoon when you have a break

George: i will come say hello, or we can meet briefly by the beach

Me: I have plans in Boston tonight. When you get back from CT maybe we can meet?

George: Perhaps

Now he wants me to chase again. Or he’s flirting.  Hard to tell in an IM.  Bottom line, he’s going to have to do the asking.  I tell him it would be great to meet him, have a wonderful day off and zip…log off. 

Study this and notice the signs of a man wanting you to chase him.  And disrespect you.  Don’t let this anger you.  Anger is loss of power.  Visit Drama Queen on this site so you stay in control.  And practice, practice, practice!  You’re the Bitch in charge of who you want to date.  Bathed in glowing light, like Gisele above.  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

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