Boundaries

Photo: www.ampovbook.com/Order_The_Book.html

 

Image from one of my favorite sites on Facebook:  A Man’s Point of View.  Must “like” ladies!  https://www.facebook.com/WomenAndDating

Do you know what your boundaries are with people?  The other night I had a person, whom I just met, tell me things that were WAY too personal.  After telling me the “way too personal,” she moved on to another person and spilled the “way too personal.”  Then she came back to me and wanted me to look at what someone had said about the “way too personal” on Facebook.  I was listening to her go on and on and I’m all…whoa.  No boundaries.   She was in full-blown Drama Queen.   At the end of the night, she comes up to me with more drama.  She said that she didn’t understand why all these people were talking about her behind her back.  I took a deep breath and here is our conversation:

Me:  I’m sorry you’re going through so much.

She didn’t say anything and just looked at me.  Then she said:

She:  What is wrong with me? (really really whiny)

Me:  You’re really upset over the situation.  Why don’t you work out the frustration in the gym or something?  That’s what I do when I’m frustrated.  That helps me see the situation clearer.  I have to go.  I have a long drive. (Said in a soothing, yet firm way)

She:  I’m so frustrated I can’t even see straight. (kind of to herself, thinking)

Me:  (Warm smile)  Go take care of yourself.  See you soon.

This girl is so involved with her drama that she doesn’t know what she wants and is asking everyone else what to do.  She doesn’t trust herself.  Only she can know what to do for her.  And it starts by taking care of herself.  That Drama Queen energy kills everything, hotties!  It clouds your judgement, can make you treat people unfairly (because OH…so and so did this and it’s crap! Well…maybe you did something to start it) and can make life more complicated than it should be.  This may help.  Sassy Bitches love action because it helps move things forward:

  1. Exercise frustrations out.
  2. Start listing all the things you want in life and a plan of action.
  3. Treat people with respect.

When you don’t get treated with respect back?  How do you deal with it in a bottom line way?  Exercising the frustration out will help you keep calmer and more focused so you can deal with people effectively.  Then you can note what makes you feel bad: ie:  no follow through from a guy.  Then you can set  boundaries for acceptable behavior.  Recent examples from a client dealing with a “date” who wasn’t following through.  First example is Pre-Coaching.  She was really frustrated with men and was letting the frustration rule instead of stating what wouldn’t fly with her.

Client: (to date via text) Why didn’t you answer my text?  It was important because it was about last tonight!

Date:  I didn’t think we had definitely plans.

Client:  Well we did.  And you didn’t get back to me.

Well…things didn’t work out with that guy!  She was frustrated and angry because he didn’t communicate.  Guys do this all the time.  You must set the boundaries so you can stop this behavior from them.  Take care of the anger so you can communicate what won’t fly with you.  After finishing Bitch Universitys’ “Re-Awakening,” program  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/07/your-re-awakening/ is how she dealt with a new guy who was not following through.  (Via text)  My thoughts in italics.

New Guy:  Hey!  What are you doing in a half hour?  I want to meet you for cocktails.

Client:  I’ll be busy finishing up my work day.     Truth

New Guy:  Come on…you can do that later.  Come meet me.   Notice HE wants HER to come to him.  Getting the female to chase 101 for men.

Client:  Maybe another time.  Have fun tonight.  Bye!    Hangs up immediately to avoid further pointless conversation.

And yes…you can get here too.  I so want that for you and every other hot sassy woman out there.  Get out of the drama and into the FUN!  Love, Goddess

“Re-Awakening,” a Bitch University course that shows you how to establish boundaries with men and ANYONE who tries to cross yours:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/07/your-re-awakening/  Email me to sign up!  goddess@bitchlifestyle.com

Are you in a complete Drama Queen melt-down?  This is for you:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2013/05/negativity-how-to-kick-it-to-the-curb/

© S Stevens Life Strategies