Is There Such Thing as a Good Cry?

woman crying 21 The Faux Girlfriend
Image from “The Faux Girlfriend”

Is crying good for you?  I was overwhelmed with resistance last week while I was crying.  It was the most beautiful, pathetic crying, too.  Drama Queen wanting to release and Bitch struggling not to.  I would bravely hold back my tears and try to focus on “action,” instead.  Then falling into crying again and then once again trying to resist it.  The resistance was driving me a little mad.  Why was I resisting crying?  Do you do that?  Why do we resist crying when we have every right to?  Every right to release in this powerful way that was given to us in our bodies?  My Drama Queen wanted to cry and my Bitch wanted to stop.  Or was it the other way around?  I need a good cry, right? The question that came to mind was this:  Is there such a thing as a good cry?

Then it hit me:  “I hate crying when I have so much to be thankful for.”

So that was it.  Guilt.  I felt so guilty for crying when I had so much to be thankful for, so much to live for and so much life to surrender to.  Which was in direct irony with why I was crying.  I was crying over the loss of a girlfriend who had died from cancer.  What right did I have to cry when I was alive, healthy and have so much to be grateful for?

The knowing what the resistance was all about – guilt – made me feel better.  It also led me to the answer I needed to help me take action.  Which made me feel even better!  Every case is different, but there is such thing as a good cry.  We shouldn’t feel bad or guilty about it.  We should let it go so we can see the guilt, (or whatever) deal with the guilt and listen to the solution that will make us feel better.

Examples of good crying:

  1. Releasing it due to loss.  Crying, like rage, is letting go.  A necessary purging so we can move on.
  2. While watching a movie and something makes the tears flow.  This happens to me a lot!  And sometimes it’s the silliest thing that’s so beautiful to me.  But is it really silly?  No.  It’s something that moves you so relish that little part of you that is moved.  There are good movies to cry to and good songs to cry to.  Find your favorites!

Examples of Drama Queen ruling:

  1. Repeatedly crying over loss.  Not letting things you cannot control GO.  These things may include a bad job experience, bad friends and a guy that doesn’t treat you like the Goddess you are.
  2. Stress:  We may be so overwhelmed that taking action may have to be looked into.  This is where you ask and listen to those who love you most.  They will be able to lead you and support you so you can take steps to feel better.

You’ve had a good cry when:  You finish and start to feel calm.  You feel almost normal again.  Take a few moments and savor the feeling.  This would be a good time to up the ante:  Immediately do something good for yourself.  A hot shower is one of my favorites.  Is it good to cry?  I’d say yes to crying!  So please share … when is a wonderful time to have a good cry?  Or not so much?

Love, Goddess

For your reading pleasure.  More on this subject:

  1. So You Had a Bad Day
  2. Learning to Laugh When You Feel Like Crying
  3. Pathways to Bliss
  4. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies



Woman crying from the web site:  Nature:

When was the last time you had a good cry, hottie?  Was it during that last tear jerker movie you saw?   At a wedding or some other such ritual?  Or maybe you can’t remember.  Or don’t have time.  YOU are a strong woman and are there for everyone.  At work, for  family, friends, kids, husband, pets.  Or maybe when you want to cry, you push back the urge.

We’re blessed with emotions.   But what’s the deal with negative emotions?   We’ve been taught to fight tears.  Tears are a sign of weakness.  It doesn’t feel good to cry.  We’re told not to “get emotional,” accused of having “PMS,” to be “strong” in the face of adversity.  So why bother to cry?  I have a theory: we should embrace our tears because it’s a way to release negative energy.

Here’s how I arrived at my theory.

The other day I had a fantastic cry.  I didn’t realize WHY I was crying until I allowed myself to do it.  Here’s how it played out:  I was getting ready for the day and slightly edgy. Then I noticed this little bird doing something.  I can’t even remember what the bird was doing but it distracted me from my to do list.  I thought whatever the bird was doing was so cute!  And I started to cry a bit.  Then I said to myself, why am I crying?  So I stopped crying.  I pushed the tears back.  Then I said no.  For some reason I wanted to cry and gave myself permission to do so.

After the cry and on to the research.  I realized that wanting to cry had nothing to do with that cute little bird.  My body was edgy and impatient.  It needed release.  (Just like anger- ) Was crying the release my body needed?   Is it possible that there is scientific evidence to my theory that crying is a way to release negative energy?  Then I found this:

An interesting study on the content of tears was done by Dr. William H. Frey, a biochemist at the St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center in Minnesota.  He and his team of analysts analyzed two types of tears: emotional (the ones where crying is caused by someone emotionally upset and stressed) and ones caused by irritants (such as crying from onions).  They found that emotional based tears had more of the protein based hormones such as prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, leucine, enkephalin (natural pain killer) all of which are produced in our body when under stress.  It seems as though the body is getting rid of these chemicals through our tears.  That explains why we usually feel better after a good cry.  From

Yay!  So there you go, Hot Bitches!  Crying, like a nice glass of cold milk, does a body good.  Maybe it’s not a weakness for us to release those tears.  Maybe it’s a way to make us stronger.  Interesting to explore, no?  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies