Flirtation 101

A gorgeous smile is all you need to get the fun flirtation rolling…pin up image from Sad Man’s Tongue Rockabilly Bar & Bistro:

 http://sadmanstongue.com/2012/03/14/the-vintage-pin-up-art-of-al-buell/

When was the last time you had a really good flirt?  Your assignment this week at Bitch University is to have a really good flirt.  Some tips inspired from famous Seductress Ninon de Lenclos:

  1. Let the man come to you.  By all means smile and make eye contact…but let him come to you!
  2. Don’t give everything away in the first conversation.  I see women doing this all the time!  When he asks you a question…especially if it is personal, give him a vague answer.  Then change the subject.  If he persists, excuse yourself.  In the most polite and charming way.  YOUR rules are the ones in play.  Not his.
  3. Use your voice to entice.  The French use their inside voice in conversation.  It will bring the other person in closer to you in a deliciously intimate way.
  4. Don’t rush.  Conversation is one of the most powerful weapons in Seduction.

And more…the Sassy Bitch in flirtation from Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

  1. Flirting is fun!  It’s play!  Enjoy everyone you meet.  Smile mischievously, make eye contact with a hot male and disappear.  Just for the fun of it.
  2. If you haven’t flirted in a while, opening up this way can be nerve-wracking!  If you find yourself nervously over chattering, take a breath and it’s perfectly okay to excuse yourself to recollect.
  3. I read all the time where you can “touch a man on his arm” to indicate interest.  Try this instead:  just enjoy the thought of the first touch.  The glow you get enjoying the thought will come from within you.  Very alluring.  When he touches you that first time?  It’s perfect.  Enjoy the moment.  And that’s it.  Ideally this will be at the end of the encounter.  We Americans rush through everything!  Slow down and enjoy the flirtation.  The first touch.  The first kiss.
  4. Genuinely have a good time.  I cannot stress this enough.  When you’re having fun?  Others around you want to become a part of your fun.  It’s like a charming magnet they can’t help but be drawn to.  The famous Courtesans always made it about their pleasure.  It fascinated those around them and if she chose them?  Her pleasure gave them pleasure back.

So start with having an absolute blast wherever you are-in the moment-and see what is drawn to you.  Try not to over think it (note number 6 above) just flirt and play back!

Love Goddess

Want more?  There is so much more to discover in Bitch Lifestyle the Manual now on Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Bitch-Lifestyle-The-Manual-ebook/dp/B009Z5A9AC?tag=bitchlifes-20

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Key to How Sassy You Are

You’ll be licking your lips when you master this Sassy Key! Lip look found at http://blog.yaaree.com/www.yaaree.com/lips/

Need to know key to how in your Sassy Bitch you are:   How much free stuff are you getting?  If you have to stop and think about the last time you got a deal or something for free?  You need to up your Sass.  You are not living up to your Sassy Bitch potential.  This week has been a slow week for me in the getting free department.  I’m getting ready for a vacation and have extra extra work to do to keep things running while I’m gone.  I’ve been hibernating with my hot, sexy computer so I haven’t been out much.  Still…I’m grateful for all the goodies that have come my way:

  1. Not happy with my cable bill, I called the company and had a ball with the very hot girl I got as a rep.  I wound up paying less than I did for my last yearly contract.  Yes!
  2. Just as I started researching a Kindle, I received a Kindle Keyboard FREE!
  3. I was craving my fave tuna tartare from a nearby restaurant.  I told the man who answered the phone how much I adored their recipe and gushed about how excited I was to have it.  When I got to the restaurant he gave me a big smile and said:  “It’s on me.”   Yes!
  4. Trying to find a car during Spring Break that wasn’t a ridiculous price was starting to irritate me.  So I called a car company, got another hot girl on the line and not only did I get a non-existent discount, I got a free upgrade.  Yes!
  5. I got a guy from my web hosting service laughing so hard that he gave me his personal line.  To call whenever I needed something.  Yes!
  6. I received beautiful jewelry.  From a man I’ve never met.  Whom I’ve only talked to over the phone!

Are these sorts of things happening to you?  I really want them to happen to YOU!  So here are some things I do that help.  Note:  If you are in your Bratty Drama Queen?  You need to take care of her NOW.  Ideas:

  1. Every day I work to become a happier, more loving and more grateful person.
  2. I practice flirting with everything that moves.  It’s infectious fun for those around you.
  3. I treat people the way I want to be treated.
  4. I am grateful every single day for all I have.
  5. I love to give.  To strangers, friends, family. I don’t expect anything back.  I don’t expect anything back because it’s fun to put smiles on peoples’ faces!
  6. I have practiced seeing the good in every road block like no ones’ business.
  7. I keep myself grounded with positive activities and people.  When I meet energy suckers and Debbie Downers, they don’t bother me.  I know what it’s like to be in their shoes.  Not a fun place to be.  I’m polite-never letting them suck them down.

What if you’ve just ended a relationship or are having career struggles?  I have a tool that will help you move on, get focused and back to Sassy:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/07/your-re-awakening/

So get in there, play with your hot self and share with me all the free fun coming your way!  Love, Goddess

Bitch Lifestyle The Manual:  is now on Amazon Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Flirting Basics

Gorgeous image from Two Asian Matchmakers

Flirting Basics.  Do you know the one word a successful flirtation relies on?

Confidence.

Confidence.

Confidence.

The way you get confidence?  Through daily practice.  Yeah…practice means work.  Things that people do that seem effortless takes discipline!  Passion for what you are doing!  Let’s use the classic sports analogy.  One of my favorite athletes is Tom Brady.  This weekend, with 22 seconds left in the game, he threw a touchdown pass to win the game.  He made it look so easy.  The reason why he made it look so easy is because he has done the work.  His teammates have done the work. He and his teammates have spent hours going over that one play.  Hours working their bodies so they can perform at their absolute best.  Hours pouring over playbooks, video and meetings discussing execution.

Flirting is a lost art.  It takes similar practice to execute.  It’s all about fun, play and confidence.  And practice.  You have to practice this art.  On everything that moves!  Puppies, girlfriends, the guy you meet at a store.  Each time you try you will get better.   This would be Tom Brady making a touch down pass when he is ahead by 40 points.  It is much easier and there is less pressure to make the pass then.  This helps you when you meet the guy you absolutely adore.  This is when you will need every drop of confidence you’ve gained.  When you need to be confident like Tom Brady in the last 22 seconds of the game.  The game isn’t on the line…it’s your heart!  So you want to have ALL your wits about you, be completely focused and still play the **** out of the flirtation.

So let’s break it down.

A.  Confidence.  In yourself.  Knowing who you are, what you like and being in love with every Sassy Drop of YOU.

  1. Every day take a moment to adore something about you.  Your body, your hair, eyes, luscious butt.  If it’s your eyes, accent them with a little glitter eyeliner.  Then blow yourself a kiss in the mirror before you leave the house.
  2. Get your life in order.  Whatever you have, love and appreciate.  Take pride in the order of your finances, closet, computer, goals, beauty routine, home.
  3. Make a list of all the things you love to do and plan them.  Make dates with your girlfriends and family.  Work that calendar.
  4. Instead of apologizing, look to what you could do better.  Focus on that.
  5. Embrace and be passionate about your talents.  Share the energy of that passion with those you love and meet.
  6. Get rid of edgy energy by working out.  With focused intent.  Ie:  Anger?  Punch it out with kick boxing.  Discover what works for you.

B.  Confidence:  Flirting

  1. Follow a beauty routine.  Start small.  Maybe with your favorite lip gloss or bright scarf.  Wear something out everyday that makes you feel gorgeous.  Notice how it makes you feel.  Is your smile a little wider?  Do you notice men looking at you?  Take notes!  The point is to see what works for you and work it.
  2. Smile.  It’s sending out warmth to everyone you meet.  Do this for men, women and children.  If they react, play a little more.  Add a compliment or playful word.
  3. If you’re on a date, compliment the man you are with.  Men love compliments.  Add a sassy, warm smile while you compliment.
  4. Touch a man lightly on his shoulder, arm, hand.  Add a compliment.
  5. Whisper a warm compliment in a mans’ ear.

C.  Confidence.  Deleting your Drama Queen.

  1. Laugh at yourself and don’t take the whole thing so seriously.  This is play, remember?
  2. Flirting takes confidence, and a dash of vulnerability.  If you feel uncomfortable, it may be fear.  The more you try, the less this uncomfortable unease will affect you.
  3. Join our Bitch Lifestyle Facebook community for more confidence.   We are building a community of women who will have each others’ backs!
  4. Keep reading and doing the exercises on this site.  Investing in you builds your confidence.

Sound like a lot?  Anything worth it takes work.  Start small.  A few minutes a day.  Make it part of your routine.  Look at the picture of Tom Brady above.  Something tells me-the smile on his face-that the effort is well worth it.

Love, Goddess

Private Coaching with me available. For more information: Private Coaching 

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Flirt with Everything…Not Just the Men

During the past few weeks I’ve had men tell me they want to worship me. Make my thighs, lips and breasts tingle…and then make me beg for more. They want to make me laugh and smile. Even sing songs for me over the Internet from miles away! How they would love to treat me like the Goddess I am. Flirting with all these men takes practice. But it’s so fun!

Three years ago I thought flirting was degrading. Something you do with a man to “get something from him.” So I rarely did. Then I noticed that when I flirted with my girlfriends or nieces…it felt really good. You know those cute little exchanges you have with your friends? “We are so hot tonight….it’s almost not fair!” It’s all about being in that spot where you feel beautiful, sassy and playful. Have you noticed what a magnet you become? Your sense of fun is brightening everyone and everything around you. Your joy is bringing joy.

So let’s get our flirt on! This may come naturally to some. It may take some practice for others. It’s all cool. Just take a moment to play and don’t beat yourself up. In fact, try not to plan. Just say to yourself, okay…time to flirt. Look around you. If your Mom is around, flirt with her. Your cat? Flirt with him. This is going to help you so much with males.

When you start flirting with men, flirt with all of them. Not just the ones you think are cute or feel attracted to. Flirt with the bus driver, the cab driver. Give them a big ol’ smile when they do their job in your presence. Thank them with a twinkle in your eye. Men love to be appreciated and it will make you both feel good. Play play play!!!!! Then…when you meet a man you really like, you will probably already have a stable full of men that are worshiping you. Then…and this is most important…you won’t be dependant on that one guy to make you feel good.

Let a guy say beautiful things to you. We ladies love to be admired, don’t we? Don’t let judgment creep in. Keep it simple. Enjoy it and thank them. Just stay focused on what you want in the dating world. What I want is a slow, sensual seduction over time with a man. I state what I want and see if he delivers. Give him time to make up his mind.

Two of the men in my life we’ll call “Scorpio” and “E.” Scorpio and I have tons of chemistry, he’s smart, gorgeous and treats me like a lady. So yes…I like him. “E” is a man I’m not sure I want date. But it’s not fair to not give him a chance. Remember Charlotte from Sex and the City? She married a guy that she thought was perfect. They divorced. Another man she whined was not her “type” at all. They married and ended up blissfully happy. It surprised the hell out of her. Be open to surprise…open your eyes to new guys! Play with them, communicate with them and tell them exactly what you want. Don’t worry about the outcome. Remember…fear is a future emotion.

Let me know how it goes or if you have any questions! Love, Goddess.

© S Stevens Life Strategies