Why Are Some People So Mean?

Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions
Yeah!!!! Brilliantly said by Will Smith. From Quotes Lover: http://quotes-lover.com/wp-content/uploads/Stop-letting-people-who-do-so-little-for-you-control-so-much-of-your-mind-feelings-and-emotions.jpg

Why are some people so mean?  Envy, maybe. They want something you have and are jealous.  And mean.   Never go up against them.  If you do, you are only fueling their hatred and giving them fuel to tend to their “hatred of you” fire.  The best way to get them to go away?  Be polite.  Even do something nice for them in front of a lot of people.  Sincerely.  It will piss them off and they will go find another target.  Or if you do something nice for them, if they aren’t a hopeless Drama Queen, they may back off out of guilt or just stop the nonsense.  Or it may surprise them enough that they feel guilty about how they’ve treated you.  And maybe, just maybe,  try to make it up to you.

There is so much power in being polite.  Treat your enemies politely.  Enemies and mean people are uneasy with polite.  It isn’t the reaction they are used to getting.  It’s isn’t fun.  There is a reason why people push your buttons.  It’s to make you feel bad.  To control, manipulate or otherwise make themselves feel good because they wish they could feel good but have made it a habit to be mean.  Just seeing a happy person puts them in a jealous snit.  Deep down they are miserable.  Unhappy and pissed off beyond reason.  And the worst sorts want to wreck your day.  When you are polite they aren’t getting to you.   You will frustrate them so much they’ll either run away from you or learn from you. 

And it surrounds us on the news, television and internet.  I opened up AOL and there was so much Drama!  The poor little girl, Quvenzhané Wallis and the “C” word.  So and so “failed last night,” the most miserable place in the United States, a variety of things that are bad for you, I could go on.  And that was only the first page!  We are bombarded by drama every day.  It’s like a really bad episode of Real Housewives on Bravo.  Those women are constantly at each other.  She said this, she did that and then get together and fight about it.  Who wants to hang out with those kinds of people?  Give me the Bitch.  You know where you stand with her.  Because she tells you.  She wants to love life and the people in it.  Not waste time with stewing about all the “bad” out there.  I give you lots of tools in my book Bitch Lifestyle the Manual to kick the bad to the curb.  If all you want to see is bad, then fine.  See it.  Come join out party when you’re ready. 

Cut now to a brand new day (I usually start writing at night and edit during the day)  As part of the party invitation I decided to have a little fun with AOL.  If I opened the page today…a fresh new day…what positive empowering things can we enmesh ourselves in?  Here we go I’m going in… 

Well… 

That was a no go.  Everything was about death, how bad the economy is, celebrity problems and we’ll stop there!  So what does a Sassy Bitch do?  Try this:   1.  The Daily Good:  A newsletter…by the way it’s free…of real life inspiring good news.  2.  Cute Overload:  When you really need to smile: puppies, kitties being adorable, funny, huggable!  3.  Positively Positive:  Do I need to explain?  Go here for a healthy, good for you kick in the butt.   Now get in there and enjoy some JOY.  Love, Goddess

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Dealing With Bullies Women Who Bash Other Women

dealing with bullies, mean girls
“Mean Girls” movie pic from the web site Psych Central: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/research/2011/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-popular/

Dealing with bullies:  women who bash other women.  Portrayed in the Mean Girls movie by Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried, these Drama Queens have no place in our lives.  She will create havoc and pain in the lives of the women around her.  She is extraordinarily unhappy and filled with rage.  Dealing with bullies literally sucks the life out of you!  She goes against so many of the Bitch Rules:  Bitch Rules  The two most important being:

  1. Bitch Rule #2:  We will not compete with other women.  This forum is a place where we can support, cheer, and turn each other on with our individual sense of fun, play and laughter.
  2. Bitch Rule #5:  We love our girlfriends and stay faithful always!  We do not break dates with them when our new guys call us last minute.  Or change plans with them if he wants to do something.  Our time with our girlfriends is sacred.  We keep that time when we start seeing a new man, have a boyfriend or get married.  Yay girlfriends!

Like attracts like, right?  If you choose the Drama Queens in this world, what is it about them that you are choosing?  In my past I chose Drama Queens because they always needed me.  When they didn’t need me, it was usually because they had a new guy.  I’d been dumped by them.  When they got dumped, they would come running back into my life.   I let them come back because I lacked confidence.  I lacked the confidence to tell them to “go pound sand.”  All gloriously pitiful, right?  I can laugh at this now and I would love it if you could laugh at it with me.  Because I think most women have been there.  In this day and age the “Drama Queen” epidemic seems to be rampant.  Glamorized.  Big business.   Hello any of the “Real Wives of XYZ,” on Bravo.

When you say “no” to her, you open up your world to the really good women out there who will have your back.  Ones that you may not have seen, were close to but still kept at arm’s length, or lacked the confidence to truly embrace.  To truly embrace means to truly love, doesn’t it?  And to truly love you have to know that you truly deserve it.  Love.  And we all do, it’s just sometimes life gets in the way and we don’t do what we have to do to take care of ourselves and stay grounded in our wants, desires, dreams, goals, fun and play!  So here is your Bitch University refresher course to get and keep you on the path of confident, good for you choices.

  1. After re-reading The Bitch Rules:  Put the rules in a journal or notebook.  What areas do you need to work on?  Your sensuality?  Your appreciation of all you have?  Get to it.  Pronto.
  2. Are you pissed off?  Edgy?  Constantly question every little thing you do?  You’re probably in your Drama Queen.  Start banishing her from your life:  Stop Being So Hard on Yourself    Lather, rinse, repeat until you have a grip.  Yes…this may take a while.  Commit to it and getting control over your Drama Queen.
  3. DO NOT feel bad about being in your Drama Queen.  We all go there.  Women are emotional creatures.  It’s in our DNA.   The problem is instead of making the choice to do something about it, we revel in it.  Now it’s time to revel in YOU and do something good for you.  Celebrate YOU.  Here are some fun things to do for you:  Harnessing Your Super Natural Force  

Love, Goddess

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