Infatuation Versus Real Love

Infatuation versus real love
Is this hot sexy man for real or full of red flags? Hot picture of Hugh Jackman from the amazing website Shanghai Expat

Infatuation versus real love.  That magical moment happens…you meet a man who is attractive, intelligent and there is chemistry.  The conversation is fun, playful and you’re thinking to yourself…OMG…finally!  A man I can get excited about!  I’m here to give you an excited for you but – maintain your Sassy Bitch grip on this scenario!  Please…ask questions, be aware of red flags…keep things moving slowly so you have the time to get to know him.  So you don’t…

Look past the red flags and fall into…infatuation. Infatuation makes your brain go to sleep. Infatuation makes you not care about the red flags because he smells so good and kisses sooooooo….sooooo…

Here is a nice overview of infatuation versus real love that I enjoyed on Diffen.com

Love takes time. It takes work to get to know someone. Don’t have sex too quickly.  Women do it on the second date now!  I don’t get it! Unless that is all you want…to “get it.”  Are you sure that’s all you want? One of my favorite lines from a movie is from Clueless.  When asked “how far she had gone,” Cher admits she’s a virgin and says…”you know how picky I am about shoes and they just go on my feet.” She had a clue here.  But do the rest of us?  The sexual revolution has allowed us to do it anytime, anywhere with anyone we want. Cool, right? But there are consequences if we let infatuation rule and have sex too quickly.

Like completely missing those pesky little red flags.  The red flags that will doom you to a relationship with a man who doesn’t give you what you truly need to relax, let go and fall in love with him.  Red flag awareness will keep you from wasting your time on the wrong guy.  So start asking him questions, listen to his answers and watch his actions.  Before you give yourself away and then email me asking “why is he acting this way?”

So … I met a man I could get a little excited about.  Our first conversations were epic and amazing. Our third conversation set off some red flags for me.  I cut him some slack.  He seemed genuinely nervous talking to me.  Then the red flags continued.  I asked him questions about them.  He seemed to realize my concern and tried to assure me these red flags were not a problem.  I was skeptical.  In our short dating life we already had a pattern here. The red flag was that he was too self-involved.  He would talk about himself endlessly.  I took a lot of interest in him but his interest in what was going on with me was…not satisfying me.

So I called him on it.  He called me needy.  (See this article for exactly what he tried to do by calling me needy: The Deflection)  Which I found to be hilarious because he talked endlessly about me being understanding about HIS needs, quirks, problems and issues.  How he “needed” me to be patient with him.

I understand male deflection well … I called him out on that too.  I told him that crap wasn’t going to fly with me.  To which he…freaked out.

Ahhhhh….Check mate for me. I was done with this child man.

I’m so glad I listened to those red flags and paid attention to his actions!  It has saved me so much grief.  I desire a man who is inspired by my passions.  They make me ME. He takes as much interest in me as I do him. Every girl deserves this and more.  Do not settle for anything less than a man who is passionate about YOU, sassy one…mind, body and soul!  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. The Obnoxious Male
  2. Bitch Lifestyle:  The Manual
  3. Love Games:  An Outrageous Proposal

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Relationship Issue: Rudeness

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Get your vintage pin ups at Faster Louder! http://rlv.zcache.com/

Got attitude?  Here’s a place to put it…

Relationship issue:  male rudeness.  You meet a guy online and you start exchanging texts.  When you don’t want to give out too much information about yourself-exactly what a very Sassy Bitch would do, he is rude.  He makes a comment like:

  1. Oh come on!  I’m a nice guy!
  2. I don’t understand.
  3. Why?
  4. Do I seem like a stalker to you?  LOL…

Ignore.

If…in any way shape or form this guy you don’t know does something you don’t like, ignore.  Why waste one moment of your precious time on someone who you don’t know who is rude.  I see women doing this all the time!  I’m a member of womens’ groups on Google + and I cannot tell you how many do this.  Smart, gorgeous women who engage in this kind of nonsense from men.  The most effective way to deal with a man who is being rude or obnoxious is to ignore.  It works with all of them.  The ones you don’t know move on because they know you’re done.  So they move on trying to find another target.  It works with the men who care about you too.  If a man you know cares about you is rude this is what you do:

  1. Point out in a bottom line way.
  2. Then ignore.

Resist every urge to feel guilty or communicate.  This would be called back-peddling.  Then they know they hold all the cards with you.  Here is a recent example from me.  I have a very close male friend.  He is my partner in crime in so many fun ways.  A few weeks ago there was a “spark” of chemistry.  First one, for me, in the years we have been playing together.  We had a long conversation about what people have been saying and the “spark” the next day.  My best friend has been wanting us to get together.  People have been making comments about WHEN we are going to get together.  It ended in a stalemate.  He has concerns, so do I.  Who wouldn’t?  What I want is a man who WANTS me and shows it.  Not make me wonder, not leave it at a stalemate.  Next time this comes up, I’m stating it.  This story will continue at a later date…(cue mystery music)

So, now that you know the “need to know” about this man who loves me, the very NEXT day after our deep converstion he was rude to me.   He sends me a text regarding an opportunity for us.  He doesn’t say hi and tells me point-blank to do something.  I’m sitting with my brother who knows this man.  He was surprised at how rude he was.  I said, yeah…and demanding.  So I text him back:

Uhmmm…no hi, how are you?

He got it.  The next day HE did what he demanded me to do.  He was oh so much more pleasant.   No need to gloat, push his buttons or be snarky, hotties.  If a man loves you and is out of line, in most cases this will work.  Instead of worrying about it, you need to figure out a way to focus on your pleasure until he makes it right.  In this case, it was asap.  In other cases it may take longer.  You have to know that if men are rude or act inappropriately they may not say sorry, but they will clean up their act.  It all starts with us.  Communicate the bottom line and then go have some fun by focusing on you!  Love, Goddess

Relationship Issue Reading:

  1. Dealing With a Demanding Man
  2. If a Man Wants to Borrow Money
  3. You’re Re-Awakening
  4. On Amazon:  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual
  5. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

 

This Guy Has Absolutely NO GAME!

Marilyn Monroe from Virtual Vintage Clothing on Tumblr

We all have slow days.  Mine was especially slow today.  However…I can always find something to amuse me.  Today it was a guy who wasn’t really interested in me trying to make me THINK he was.  I decided to have a little fun with him because…in the spirit of Marilyn Monroe:  What the hell?  Besides, I was sensing this would be material for this website.   Here is our text conversation with what I’m thinking in italics:

Guy:  Hi how are you?

Me:  Who is this?

Guy:  Scott.  We met on xyz dating site.

Me:  I’m not on there anymore.  The guys aren’t serious and I want to date seriously.  Best of luck.   You’re not serious.  Bye bye.

Usually that ends the conversation, but he continued to text me.

Guy:  Neither am i, and that’s what i’m lookng 4 too    Okay…he just kicked off the Crap Super Bowl.

Me:  I am skeptical regarding u.  If u were interested in seeing me u would have set up a date months ago.  Now I am not on the site and cannot reference who u r.

Guy:  U want a pic?  Not really, dude.  I don’t respond back…because even though it is a slow day… I am still working.  Several hours later I read his most recent text.

Guy:  (Sent a pic)  Here I am…

Me:  Thank u for the pic.  However I’m more interested in who u r as a man.  He was very attractive.  If that was him.  Looks aren’t everything.  I want a man not a starter in the Crap Super Bowl.

Guy: (Long text messages with basic background and full of spelling/grammatical errors…then) What else would u like to know about me?

Me:  Where u r from and if u remember who u r talking 2…my real name or dating site name?  Set up statement if I have time to call him on his “I want to date seriously crap.”

Guy:  Not really send a pic of  Not a chance.  Crap set up complete.

Me:  LOL.  Seriously…Scott…if u want a woman to date u and/or take you seriously, don’t forget her name. Best of luck in ur search.   Crap called on.  I’m done.  Time to amuse myself with other things. 

Guy:  Sharon, right?

A half hour passes…

Guy:  ??

An hour passes…

Guy:  Give me a chance?  Please  🙂

If you get texts like this from a guy in any way shape or form, he is not interested in you.  Here is exactly why:

1.  He did not address me by my name in the first text.  We may have talked once.  I don’t know.  What I wind up doing is this:  If I talk to a guy I meet I put his first name into my phone.  If we have one conversation and I don’t hear from him in a week or so, I delete it out of my phone.

2.  I haven’t been on the site for months.  So it took him months to date the other girls he has been in touch with in his Rolodex and now it’s my turn.  Me:  Miss…I don’t know your name.

3.  I never, ever…did I mention never?  Send a pic of myself to a guy I don’t know or barely know.  I don’t want to be one of his “Rolodex Babes.”

4.  He doesn’t remember who I am and wants a picture of me.  That’s really flattering, huh, ladies?  Not only am I Miss:  I don’t know your name, but I’m so far down on his list of who he may want to date that I need to add “If I get through the list and nothing pans out girl.”

5.  No effort.  Zero effort.  Yeah.  Oh…and easier for rejection purposes via text on his part.  This guy has absolutely NO GAME.

LOL.

I’m hoping you’re able to laugh over guys like this.  And then forget them.  Delete them.  They mean nothing.  Except as a barometer of whether you want to deal with men with NO GAME in the dating world or the man who will make every effort to make you smile.  Choose wisely.  Your time is valuable, Sassy Bitches!  Love, Goddess

1.  Want to own these types of situations?  Work with me live-Click here  

2.  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

3.  Signs You’re a Sassy Bitch

4.  Rapunzel and Her Tower 

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Best Dating Advice: Are You Easy to Date?

best dating advice,dating,dating website,dating tips,
Marilyn Monroe image from the fantastic blog Mish Mash Vintage Blog

Interesting question for you hotties…are you “easy to date?”

I spent the last few days playing in New York City with my best friend Mary Ann.  One night we went to dinner with her boyfriend.  Men give the best dating advice.  He said something very interesting to me about her.  He said he really enjoyed dating her because she was “easy to date.”  Of course it brought me to instant attention!  In the spirit of the best dating advice, I’ve spent the last few days asking men what makes a woman “easy to date.”  Here are some of the answers I got with my opinion in italics:

  1. No drama.  This is the number one dominant answer I got.
  2. Fun and playful.  No explanation necessary!
  3. Confident.   She knows who she is, where she is going and is proud of her accomplishments and interests.
  4. Sensual without being slutty.   A woman’s sensuality is a part of her.  She doesn’t try too hard by showing all of her physical attributes.
  5. Feminine.  Men like it when we don’t control and wear flirty, soft, flowy outfits.  They don’t expect it all the time, but love it!
  6. Independent.  You have lots going on with career, family, friends and hobbies/interests.  You have a full, fun and amazing life!

Not one of the men I asked said things that involved looks and or body type.  Not one.  It was all about our personalities and how much we were invested in our own lives!  Really good to note, hmmm?  So I asked the man I’m seriously dating for his opinion on what makes a woman “easy to date.”  Without hesitation he said “No drama” and “respect for each others’ personal space.”  I thought that best dating advice was rather hot.  So for fun, why don’t we flip the above list into what turns a man off?  I flip the “easy to date” into “turn offs” in italics:

  1. No drama.    Turn off:  She is always fighting with someone in her life, miserable and looking for attention.  She has no control over her finances yet spends like a drunken sailor.
  2. Fun and playful.  Turn off:  She never has any fun suggestions for dates and takes everything seriously.  She has no sense of adventure and stays in her comfort zone.
  3. Confident.    Turn off:  She is meek, lets him make all the decisions, agrees with him on all topics discussed and worries about whether he likes her.
  4. Sensual without being slutty.   Turn off:  She is showing off butt, legs and cleavage.  All at the same time. 
  5. Feminine.  Turn off:  Instead of letting a man lead, she is controlling.  She texts and calls trying to set up the next date.  She makes excuses to see him.
  6. Independent.  Turn off:  She gives up her life for him.  She forgets her friends, hobbies and does only things he likes.  Then she wonders why she is so pissed off at him later.

So which girl sounds more “easy to date?”  LOL…yes…notice the first list is all Sassy Bitch and the second list is all Drama Queen?  Have a little fun today.  Ask your amazing male friends what the qualities are in a “woman easy to date.”  Listen to them.  Then all you have to do is party with your hot little life.  Revel in it and all you do.  Watch the men become intrigued and want to be with you.  And all you’re doing is enjoying your life and then enjoying them!  AND keep smiling like Marilyn above.  Love, Goddess

For more order Bitch Lifestyle the Manual is on Amazon

Become Easy To Date!  Re-Awaken your Sassy Bitch in my popular course “Your Re-Awakening”

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© S Stevens Life Strategies