Flirtation 101

A gorgeous smile is all you need to get the fun flirtation rolling…pin up image from Sad Man’s Tongue Rockabilly Bar & Bistro:

When was the last time you had a really good flirt?  Your assignment this week at Bitch University is to have a really good flirt.  Some tips inspired from famous Seductress Ninon de Lenclos:

  1. Let the man come to you.  By all means smile and make eye contact…but let him come to you!
  2. Don’t give everything away in the first conversation.  I see women doing this all the time!  When he asks you a question…especially if it is personal, give him a vague answer.  Then change the subject.  If he persists, excuse yourself.  In the most polite and charming way.  YOUR rules are the ones in play.  Not his.
  3. Use your voice to entice.  The French use their inside voice in conversation.  It will bring the other person in closer to you in a deliciously intimate way.
  4. Don’t rush.  Conversation is one of the most powerful weapons in Seduction.

And more…the Sassy Bitch in flirtation from Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

  1. Flirting is fun!  It’s play!  Enjoy everyone you meet.  Smile mischievously, make eye contact with a hot male and disappear.  Just for the fun of it.
  2. If you haven’t flirted in a while, opening up this way can be nerve-wracking!  If you find yourself nervously over chattering, take a breath and it’s perfectly okay to excuse yourself to recollect.
  3. I read all the time where you can “touch a man on his arm” to indicate interest.  Try this instead:  just enjoy the thought of the first touch.  The glow you get enjoying the thought will come from within you.  Very alluring.  When he touches you that first time?  It’s perfect.  Enjoy the moment.  And that’s it.  Ideally this will be at the end of the encounter.  We Americans rush through everything!  Slow down and enjoy the flirtation.  The first touch.  The first kiss.
  4. Genuinely have a good time.  I cannot stress this enough.  When you’re having fun?  Others around you want to become a part of your fun.  It’s like a charming magnet they can’t help but be drawn to.  The famous Courtesans always made it about their pleasure.  It fascinated those around them and if she chose them?  Her pleasure gave them pleasure back.

So start with having an absolute blast wherever you are-in the moment-and see what is drawn to you.  Try not to over think it (note number 6 above) just flirt and play back!

Love Goddess

Want more?  There is so much more to discover in Bitch Lifestyle the Manual now on Amazon:

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Sassy School of Gallantry

sassy school of gallantry,ninon de lenclos,cameron diaz,
I’m a naughty teacher. I’ve been so bad. Here’s what you have to do to enjoy me. Cameron Diaz pic from Bad Teacher Trailer

You and I are open for business.  Our business?  Our very own “School of Gallantry.”  Inspired by one of the greatest Seductresses of all time:  Ninon De Lenclos  By doing this we are honoring her brilliance.  And ours.  Our ability to communicate exactly HOW a man is to pursue us, seduce us, love us…be worthy of us. (sassy wink)

Not one whine.  Knowing without question that YOU are the hottest thing that was ever created on this planet.  Knowing that you deserve to be treated like the amazing woman you are.  This is not about arrogance.  You are a confident, loving, caring woman.  A good man will see this and will appreciate the chance to put a smile on your beautiful face!  School your potential lovers and male friends in the following ways:

  1.  Techniques you desire in courting and seduction.
  2.  A peak into how you tick as a woman.  Slower than slow.  You may want to keep a bit of mystery about you.
  3.  The proper way to break up with a woman.  None of which involves a text.
  4.  The physiology of sex.
  5.  The seductive qualities in conversation.
  6.  Be sure to give your school a hot name. Worthy of you.

What will you add to this list?  This is about YOU remember.  Exactly what you desire from a man.  Exactly how you want to be treated and adored.  Before you do this take the time to relax.  Really relax and get into your hot, sensual self.  The cares of the day behind you.  If you have a boyfriend or a husband…what would you like from him?  Is it a soft, sexy kiss?  Let the pleasure of experiencing one of those kisses wash over you.  Enjoy enjoy enjoy.  When you feel yourself all warmed up, give him a call.  Tell him…

“I was just thinking about how much I enjoy kissing you!  It’s so good.”

Don’t try to get him to come and see you.  Keep it short.  Just let him know you were enjoying something about him.  See what happens…and take notes like a good (or bad) teacher.   Oh…and if a potential lover gives you crap about how high maintenance you are or some other silly thing about how you want to be treated?  Purr playfully and say something like:  “I’m soooo worth it.”

And you are…now get in there and play, Sexy Teacher!  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

My exclusive Coaching Program.  Bridging the gap between Mars and Venus:  Your Re-Awakening

Ninon De Lenclos


The Brilliant Ninon De Lenclos (1620-1705) from The Pfister Hotel

In the Victorian Era-where women were not permitted to be “independent,” Ninon De Lenclos took that social norm and kicked its’ ass!  Not only was she beautiful, she was considered an “equal” to men in her intelligence and wit. Thanks to a string of very wealthy lovers, Ninon lived her life as she pleased, was loved in French court and became an author.  She also held on to her wealth…something a lot of women were not taught how to do back then.  I mean, that would involve becoming independent so you can take care of yourself, right? (sassy wink)  Want more?  Some more inspiring tidbits:

  1. Ninon was born in poverty and to keep her independence, joined a convent.
  2. Her father, in a time where women were not taught how to write, made sure Ninon learned her letters.
  3. Noticing how women were taught to buy “frivolous things,” Ninon took note instead of what men bought.  And chose those things.
  4. She divided her admirers into 3 groups: “Payers”-Conversation seekers, not necessarily sex. “Martyrs” those who struck out. “Favorites” flocked to her home to hear her play her lute.
  5. King Louis XIV never changed mistresses without asking Ninon first.
  6. Men wanted her so much:  but they didn’t meet her high standards.  So she opened “The School of Gallantry” to teach them how to romance women.  LOVE it!
  7. Ninon’s lovers paid her bills, but she refused to be “bought.”  She did exactly what she wanted.  Whenever, whoever, whatever.

Mmmmm…so ladies.  When are you opening up your “School of Gallantry?”  For extra inspiration here is the book Ninon wrote about her experiences:  Life, Letters and Epicurean Philosophy of Ninon De L’Enclos: The Celebrated Beauty of the Seventeenth Century

Suggested Reading:

  1. Scandalous Women:  Ninon de Lenclos – Mademoiselle Libertine
  2. Carole Lombard:  Feisty and Fabulous
  3. Think You’re Too Old and Ugly to be a Seductress?  Think again!
  4. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies