“Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping… waiting… and though unwanted… unbidden… it will stir… open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us… guides us… passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love… the clarity of hatred… and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we’d know some kind of peace… but we would be hollow… Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we’d be truly dead.”
Joss Whedon, Screenwriter and Director
Nothing else to say. LOVE! Now go get passionate Sassy Bitches!! Love, Goddess
Your wants and passions. I’ve said it over and over. Your wants and passions are the keys to making you glow and propel you into your Sassy Confident Bitch.
It’s important to stay aware: looking over your wants and passions list, updating, adding, deleting, because they can be pushed aside for other things. When you neglect a passion you may start to get cranky. You miss it and want it! You may start to let it affect other passions. Then you have two passions affected. Then another curve ball is thrown into the mix. And another and another. You’re the Sassy Bitch handling it all brilliantly. But you’re still neglecting something.
Being a Sassy Bitch is a blast but it isn’t easy. When you’re the Sassy Bitch you affect everyone around you. If you fall off your game, you start to feel guilt and beat yourself up a bit. Then Drama Queen starts to babble silly advice to you. Silly advice a Sassy Bitch would never take. The next thing you know you can’t get in touch with your best friend to vent and you’re venting to a close guy friend. He’s able to identify your problem in one sentence and then you get mad at him. You…in your Drama Queen thinks he doesn’t know you well enough to understand ALL that is going on with you. So you ignore him or tell him off. The next day? You’re Sassy Bitch tells you he was right.
This scenario happened to one of my coaching clients recently. She has two very strong passions: Her rock band and crafting. For years she has been making beautiful things for craft shows. The Holidays=high crafting season. Her rock band has really picked up steam lately. They have shows every weekend and she is loving the opportunities that are finally coming her way. This conflicts with her craft shows. She had to choose. She chose weekends with the rock band. She said to me one day:*
Sandy: I’m totally in my Drama Queen.
Me: You don’t sound it.
Sandy: I am! We had a show this weekend and I didn’t want to do it. I was frustrated about the show and frustrated with myself because I felt ungrateful. Then there were travel issues, I didn’t get all the work and shopping I needed to get done this weekend, AND this guy from my past has returned and he’s being wonderful. Which is damn scary.
Me: Why didn’t you really want to do the show?
Sandy: This is going to sound stupid.
Me: I’m not going to think that.
Sandy: I haven’t had the time do craft shows this season. That’s all I could think about! And Calvin from the group said that to me and I told him off. He noted how edgy I was during the show. That was not cool of me. What do you do when two passions collide like this? How do you stay in your Bitch?
Me: First, give yourself a break. Your crafting passion is AWOL. The opportunities from your rock band have made you miss out on your crafting opportunities. So the solution is start being grateful for all the opportunities you have. And find creative ways not to let your crafting passion be shut out.
Sandy: I’m mad at myself for not making the time earlier.
Me: You didn’t have the time earlier. You’re beating yourself up again.
Sandy: The success of the group is not forcing me to choose. I need to find time for my other passion, crafting. And ultimately, a way to make more money crafting. Which I’ve always wanted. I’ve wanted to start selling online for two reasons. One, I can make more money. Two, this would free up time on the weekend for my group.
Me: Yes. You’ve just turned the whole thing around. That’s my Sassy Bitch.
Guilty feelings sometimes come up when we feel bad about getting all we want. Hence the reason why we should start being grateful. Anger, a lot of times, is fear. It’s really scary getting everything you want. When you push through it by taking creative action, like Sandy is now doing, it gives you something new and positive to focus on! Questions? Let me know!
“She took possession of a man if she touched him with her fingers.” This, of course, would lead to rapture—the tips of her fingers—fully sensate and aware, taking you in and touching you as if her fingers had never touched before, so that you yourself begin to experience touch as something entirely new. From The Book of the Courtesans by Susan Griffin
Wow, huh? The Courtesan Alice Ozy sure knew how to touch. What passion! It made me start thinking about passion in my life. I have many different passions. Sometimes, though, these passions take up so much time that I don’t fully feel them. I’m too busy. So slowly, over time, I take less time to touch, taste, feel, hear. And my lively passion seems to dim a bit.
Then I read that small passage about the power of touch. The pleasure it can bring up and my passion reawakens. How the Courtesan took her passion-and the man through touch. She was relishing the moment and he was the lucky benefactor. So let’s relish a bit today…reawaken our precious passion!
Slowly caress your skin. Notice how soft the skin is on front of your arms. Don’t be afraid to touch any part of your body. Enjoy the softness of your skin.
When you brush your hair, slow way down. Notice the texture, the shine, how it moves and smells.
The next time you are outside, pick a blade of grass. Swipe it slowly across your nose. Does it tickle? Brush it against your skin.
The next time you pet an animal, really enjoy it. The softness, the difference between the fur on its back and tummy.
You’ll need help with this one 🙂 Find the most ticklish spot on you and your mate. What are the tickles that make you giggle STOP!? The ones that make you go ooooohhhh….”
Your clothes: What materials feel the best to you against your skin?
Dine with your fingers.
Take your shoes off and walk in the grass, the sand, the pavement.
Skinny dip and notice how wonderful the water feels caressing your skin.
I think that’s a good way to end it! Please share your “Reawaken Passion” touch ideas here:
We go to work, work out, eat, do chores, check our phones 100 times a day for messages, think about all the things we need to do or didn’t have time to do, then go to bed. If we have time we meet a few friends for a drink, a laugh or conversation. We may get excited about a new movie that turns out to be only so so. We fall asleep to the TV. To the endless drone of mediocre entertainment. Just writing this makes me want to break out of this day to day box. Give me a jackhammer, please!
Or is it?
Yes. We have responsibilities. Blah blah, get it. 😉 What gives our lives passion, excitement and pleasure is not just reaching personal goals and aspirations, it’s embracing adventure and the new along the way. Picture it this way. You are a Gorgeous Conductor. Your orchestra is waiting permission from you to play its first note. It can start off soft or with the crash of a cymbal. Your choice. You can look at the oboe and have it play the same note for days. It’s the next note we’re waiting for. The change. That’s what makes it music.
It’s so easy to get stuck listening to One Note Oboe. One Note Oboe is very good at finding excuses not to change it’s note. Busy, work schedule, etc. It’s all one thing. Fear. Remember, fear is a future emotion: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/05/fear-is-a-future-emotion/ Two weeks ago I told the oboe to take a break while the rest of the orchestra took over. I went on vacation. I wasn’t sad to get back because I have wonderful things going on in life! A long time desire is coming true next week. I’m terrified but embracing it. It can be exhilarating and terrifying to get what you want. Because you can lose it. That’s why One Note Oboe can be so comforting. Then I’m off to NYC, then to Miami.
This takes some time…creating the change. And a lot of people may not get you! A couple days ago, just for fun, I bought something called “Chocolate Bacon” from the famous “Vosges” chocolate maker: http://www.vosgeschocolate.com/ Everyone went “ewww.” Did you? Or did you see it as an interesting thing to try? Something new to play with. A new experience. It’s something to live for! There are tiny things you can do and try each and every day. Every day is another day to create a passionate life. Stop, slow down and listen for the change. Embrace it. Love, Goddess