Gratitude image from the wonderful blog Trinity Mops http://trinitymops.wordpress.com/page/2/

I’ve said it over and over.  Your wants and passions are the keys to making you glow and propel you into your Sassy Confident Bitch.

It’s important to stay aware:  looking over your wants and passions list, updating, adding, deleting, because they can be pushed aside for other things.  When you neglect a passion you may start to get cranky.  You miss it and want it!  You may start to let it affect other passions.  Then you have two passions affected.  Then another curve ball is thrown into the mix.  And another and another.  You’re the Sassy Bitch handling it all brilliantly.  But you’re still neglecting something.

Being a Sassy Bitch is a blast but it isn’t easy.  When you’re the Sassy Bitch you affect everyone around you. If you fall off your game, you start to feel guilt and beat yourself up a bit.  Then Drama Queen starts to babble silly advice to you.  Silly advice a Sassy Bitch would never take.  The next thing you know you can’t get in touch with your best friend to vent and you’re venting to a close guy friend.  He’s able to identify your problem in one sentence and then you get mad at him.  You…in your Drama Queen thinks he doesn’t know you well enough to understand ALL that is going on with you.  So you ignore him or tell him off.  The next day?  You’re Sassy Bitch tells you he was right.

This scenario happened to one of my coaching clients recently.  She has two very strong passions:  Her rock band and crafting.  For years she has been making beautiful things for craft shows.  The Holidays=high crafting season.  Her rock band has really picked up steam lately.  They have shows every weekend and she is loving the opportunities that are finally coming her way.  This conflicts with her craft shows.  She had to choose.  She chose weekends with the rock band.   She said to me one day:*

Sandy:  I’m totally in my Drama Queen.

Me:  You don’t sound it.

Sandy:  I am!  We had a show this weekend and I didn’t want to do it.  I was frustrated about the show and frustrated with myself because I felt ungrateful.  Then there were travel issues, I didn’t get all the work and shopping I needed to get done this weekend, AND this guy from my past has returned and he’s being wonderful.  Which is damn scary.

Me:  Why didn’t you really want to do the show?

Sandy:  This is going to sound stupid.

Me:  I’m not going to think that.

Sandy:  I haven’t had the time do craft shows this season.  That’s all I could think about!  And Calvin from the group said that to me and I told him off.  He noted how edgy I was during the show.  That was not cool of me.  What do you do when two passions collide like this?  How do you stay in your Bitch?

Me:  First, give yourself a break.  Your crafting passion is AWOL. The opportunities from your rock band have made you miss out on your crafting opportunities. So the solution is start being grateful for all the opportunities you have.  And find creative ways not to let your crafting passion be shut out.

Sandy:  I’m mad at myself for not making the time earlier.

Me:  You didn’t have the time earlier.  You’re beating yourself up again.

Sandy:  The success of the group is not forcing me to choose.  I need to find time for my other passion, crafting.  And ultimately, a way to make more money crafting.  Which I’ve always wanted.  I’ve wanted to start selling online for two reasons.  One, I can make more money.  Two, this would free up time on the weekend for my group.

Me:  Yes.  You’ve just turned the whole thing around.  That’s my Sassy Bitch.

Guilty feelings sometimes come up when we feel bad about getting all we want.  Hence the reason why we should start being grateful.  Anger, a lot of times, is fear.  It’s really scary getting everything you want.  When you push through it by taking creative action, like Sandy is now doing, it gives you something new and positive to focus on!  Questions?  Let me know!

Love, Goddess

*Name has been changed for privacy purposes.

© S Stevens Life Strategies

***

“She took possession of a man if she touched him with her fingers.”  This, of course, would lead to rapture—the tips of her fingers—fully sensate and aware, taking you in and touching you as if her fingers had never touched before, so that you yourself begin to experience touch as something entirely new.  From The Book of the Courtesans by Susan Griffin

Wow, huh?  The Courtesan Alice Ozy sure knew how to touch.  What passion!  It made me start thinking about passion in my life.  I have many different passions.  Sometimes, though, these passions take up so much time that I don’t fully feel them.  I’m too busy.  So slowly, over time, I take less time to touch, taste, feel, hear.  And my lively passion seems to dim a bit.

Then I read that small passage about the power of touch.  The pleasure it can bring up and my passion reawakens.  How the Courtesan took her passion-and the man through touch.  She was relishing the moment and he was the lucky benefactor.  So let’s relish a bit today…reawaken our precious passion!

1. Slowly caress your skin.  Notice how soft the skin is on front of your arms.  Don’t be afraid to touch any part of your body.  Enjoy the softness of your skin.
2. When you brush your hair, slow way down.  Notice the texture, the shine, how it moves and smells.
3. The next time you are outside, pick a blade of grass.  Swipe it slowly across your nose.  Does it tickle?  Brush it against your skin.
4. The next time you pet an animal, really enjoy it.  The softness, the difference between the fur on its back and tummy.
5. You’ll need help with this one   Find the most ticklish spot on you and your mate.  What are the tickles that make you giggle STOP!?  The ones that make you go ooooohhhh….”
6. Your clothes:  What materials feel the best to you against your skin?
7. Dine with your fingers.
8. Take your shoes off and walk in the grass, the sand, the pavement.
9. Skinny dip and notice how wonderful the water feels caressing your skin.

I think that’s a good way to end it!  Please share your “Reawaken Passion” touch ideas here:

Love, Goddess

***Gorgeous manicure and pedicure from Lydian Flash, Master Nail Technician http://www.lydianflash.com/

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Find a new note.

We go to work, work out, eat, do chores, check our phones 100 times a day for messages, think about all the things we need to do or didn’t have time to do, then go to bed.  If we have time we meet a few friends for a drink, a laugh or conversation.  We may get excited about a new movie that turns out to be only so so.  We fall asleep to the TV.  To the endless drone of mediocre entertainment.  Just writing this makes me want to break out of this day to day box.  Give me a jackhammer, please!

That’s life.

Or is it?

Yes.  We have responsibilities.  Blah blah, get it.   What gives our lives passion, excitement and pleasure is not just reaching personal goals and aspirations, it’s embracing adventure and the new along the way.  Picture it this way.  You are a Gorgeous Conductor.  Your orchestra is waiting permission from you to play its first note.  It can start off soft or with the crash of a cymbal.  Your choice.  You can look at the oboe and have it play the same note for days.  It’s the next note we’re waiting for.  The change.  That’s what makes it music.

It’s so easy to get stuck listening to One Note Oboe.  One Note Oboe is very good at finding excuses not to change it’s note.  Busy, work schedule, etc.  It’s all one thing.  Fear.  Remember, fear is a future emotion:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/05/fear-is-a-future-emotion/  Two weeks ago I told the oboe to take a break while the rest of the orchestra took over.  I went on vacation.  I wasn’t sad to get back because I have wonderful things going on in life!  A long time desire is coming true next week.  I’m terrified but embracing it.  It can be exhilarating and terrifying to get what you want.   Because you can lose it.  That’s why One Note Oboe can be so comforting.  Then I’m off to NYC, then to Miami. 

This takes some time…creating the change.  And a lot of people may not get you!  A couple days ago, just for fun, I bought something called “Chocolate Bacon” from the famous “Vosges” chocolate maker:  http://www.vosgeschocolate.com/  Everyone went “ewww.”  Did you?  Or did you see it as an interesting thing to try?  Something new to play with.  A new experience.  It’s something to live for!  There are tiny things you can do and try each and every day.  Every day is another day to create a passionate life.  Stop, slow down and listen for the change.  Embrace it.  Love, Goddess

Share your new discoveries on our Facebook Page, Sassy!  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841

© S Stevens Life Strategies

This quote is so hot.  So simple.  Get passionately curious gorgeous one!  Hold on to your passions like industrial strength glue!  When you’re plugged into this mode you’ll glow, you’ll be fulfilled and ooze sexiness and confidence.  It’s the absolute best beauty treatment and it costs nothing.

So why not try a little of this today?  Walk home a different day from work.  Splash someone in the rain.  Taste something you’ve never tried before.  Rent a foreign film…and don’t read the subtitles.  Try a new workout routine, book you would never read, sport, video game, eye shadow.  Eat naked by candlelight.  Find the juiciest fruit you can and savor it.  Let the juices run all over your face!  Get your curious on and play play play.  Oh…and do share you’re newly discovered passions.  You know how much I love to experience new things!

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

1.  My passion for this web site.  So many fun things to do.  An AStore is in development for your shopping fun, interviews with beyond fabulous people, and live dates for us to play together.  And so many things to discuss and write about!  My head is spinning with ideas!

2.  Improv Comedy is another serious passion of mine.  My improv group has shows this month and rehearsal tonight in Boston.  Rehearsal is right in the middle of the first Patriots game tonight.  Which brings me to passion #3. 

3.  Anyone who knows me knows how nuts I am for football.  3 Fantasy Teams, listen on the radio, watch whenever humanly possible.  And being at Gillette Stadium watching a game?  I am in bliss.

4.  Meeting up in Boston to party it up with my amazing friends in Boston during the Patriots game.

5.  Working out:  It’s an absolutely perfect day for an hour long walk at the beach.  Beach is another huge passion.

So what does a passionate girl do when her passions collide?  Can I really cram it all in?  In the process of cramming can I actually be in the moment and not be thinking about all the other things I’m trying to cram in?  LOL.  Absolutely!  And here’s how.

1.  Last night (while listening to football) I made lists of amazing things for the Astore, wrote, and the hours went by because I loved what I was doing.

2.  Improv:  I know rehearsal is scheduled during the game, and this will be a little challenge for me to really concentrate on playing my butt off in rehearsal.  I’ll be edgy if I don’t respect passion #5.

3.  I’ll be able to watch the beginning of the football game, watch and party with friends after rehearsal, and listen to the pre-and post game shows during my drives to and from Boston.

4.  Having some fun with friends at the end of the day?  Yes!  I can truly relax after a crazy day, have a drink and play play play.

5.  Working out.  This for me pulls everything together.  I push the edginess out of my body.  I’ll go for my long beach walk.  Then I’ll take a few minutes to kick box out any edginess before I shower, put on my Patriot jersey and head to Boston. 

So how about you, lovely ones?  Do you have any tricks to share how you deal with all your passions?  I would love to hear about it.  (And maybe apply them in my life!)  Love, Goddess

I love the　movie “Ever After” starring Drew Barrymore. (Cinderella saves the Prince in this kick ass version of the fairy tale) Cinderella/Danielle lives each day fully engaged in life, even though she　is a servant in her own home.　　She makes no　excuses and meets　each challenge straight on.　 No whining.　 She wants her　fathers’　legacy-his home-to remain strong despite　her selfish　Stepmother.　 Her father encouraged her passion and she absolutely adored him.

During an encounter,　Danielle and the Prince are discussing politics.　 Danielle is defending her opinion while challenging the Prince on his view on the matter.　 The Prince asks her, “How do you live everyday with such passion?” “Don’t you　find it　exhausting?” It takes the Prince days to catch up with her. He realizes he can sit back, relax, experience and learn from Danielle’s’ passion for life. A little taste there, a bigger bite the next day. All good. When he met Danielle he found what was missing in his proper, regal courtly existence. Passion for life.

Most people are probably like the Prince when they meet a person infused with the passion that Danielle has. It’s utterly charming, infectious and can be overwhelming. Like anything　passion takes practice. Practice the art of passion. Here are some ideas for you (Feel free to sample or take on as many as you like!)

1.  Admire yourself in the mirror. Smile seductively and really feel this phrase: “I am the hottest, sexiest woman in the world!” Be passionate about you.

2.  Take a bath.  Relax in the bubbles and engage all your senses.  Use candles, incense, sip champagne or nibble on cheese. Breathe deeply into this “passionate” relaxation.

3.  Play some music, turn down the lights, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Move your body or not. Just be in the moment.

4.  Go outside and do something active for your body. Notice how your body moves and feels. How lucky you are to have such a magnificent Creation—-yourself.

5.  Research this question: Which blanket would I most want to cuddle up in every night? Check out and enjoy different textures. If you are going to cuddle up in a blanket every night it should make you feel wonderful.

6.  Try on a diamond at the jewelry store.　 Enjoy the colors, clarity the sparkle…and how it makes you feel.

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies 

My five-year-old niece is sitting in karate class. The instructor asks the kids in class a question. “What is your favorite meal?” One by one the kids answer: Pasta! Hamburgers! Pizza! My niece answers: “Dessert.” She absolutely adores dessert. One of her favorites is chocolate.

She loves dessert so much that she eats it too quick. And then she wants more. And that ultimately takes most of the enjoyment out of it. Then she gets that cute little look on her face. She’s in a little quandary. She so wants more, but her Mommy is trying to make sure she eats as nutritionally as possible. She is disappointed for two reasons: She had only a few moments to enjoy something she loves, and she is slightly frustrated because she won’t be getting anymore.

So I taught her how to “savor” with a small piece of chocolate. I told her to let it slowly melt in her mouth. We had a contest to see who would make the chocolate last longer and she won. She saw the benefits to savoring: it was much more pleasurable than wolfing down dessert in a heartbeat. When her Mom noticed her eating her dessert slowly one day, she got concerned! She said…

”What’s wrong…why are you eating your dessert so slowly?”

My niece replied with a contented voice…

”I’m savoring.”

Ahhhh….savoring. When was the last time you, gracious reader, savored? Was it when you were on vacation at the beach? When you were lying on the beach, listening to the rush of the waves, feeling the warm breeze lightly caressing your skin, enjoying the warm soothing bright light of the beaming sun on your face?

All of us should savor more everyday. Savoring takes practice. Savoring is an art. The French savor when they eat. I’ve read French people observe the meal as it’s set before them. They admire the presentation. They breathe deeply the aromas coming from the plate. They discuss the many nuances to the meal: texture, seasoning, where the flavors hit in their mouths: tongue, lips, back of the mouth.

The French are passionate about food. Savoring is passion! Passion for the moment you are experiencing….right now. Savoring is pleasure. Let’s start right now. Here are some ideas for you:

Close your eyes and savor the moment, and breathe deeply.

Eat and savor your meal tonight like the French do.

Tickle someone.

Savor a piece of chocolate like my niece does.

Next: Living with passion like this can be exhausting, or not. Your choice!