Choice, Compromise and the Drama Queen

Marilyn Monroe image from www.25.media.tumblr.com

Today we discuss the word “compromise.”  We’re discussing the word compromise because there has been confusion about what I mean when I say this:

Sign You’re a Sassy Bitch:  The word “compromise” makes you yawn.  From this article: Signs You’re a Sassy Bitch  

Some women think I’m talking about this definition of compromise:  (As defined by the Free Dictionary online)  Compromise:  com·pro·mise (kmpr-mz) Noun:  A settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions.   The Free Dictionary    Compromise the noun is a good thing!  Two sides meet.  Both sides want something.  Each work together so they both win.  Sometimes it takes awhile to reach an agreement, but with mutual respect and understanding this is usually doable.  There may be a little drama, but for the most part, the Sassy Bitch is in control.  Focused.  Fair.  Determined.

I’m not using the word compromise in the noun form, however.  I am using compromise in the verb form:  (As defined by the Free Dictionary online)  Compromise:  com·pro·mise (kmpr-mz) Verb:  To reduce in quality, value, or degree; weaken or lower.

A Sassy Bitch yawns because she will not compromise herself.  She will not devalue her core beliefs, lower her dignity and or weaken her passions for anything or anyone.  She knows that by giving up these things she is losing herself.  Wrong choice.  Here are examples of compromising yourself:

  1. Deep down you don’t believe that you deserve or can achieve your career aspirations.  So you never get them because you don’t fight for them.
  2. You are dating someone and give up your passions and take on his.  You do this even if you don’t enjoy his passions.
  3. You let someone talk or treat you badly.   Despite this, you are always there for them and don’t kick them to the curb like they deserve.
  4. Someone is consistently disrespectful to you.  You think if you are nicer to them they will be nicer to you.
  5. You compromise yourself when you don’t know what you want.  So you spend hours worrying about a problem, lover or career choice.

This is Drama Queen stuff.  A Drama Queen doesn’t know what she wants.  Because she is unsure, she spends a lot of time wondering about things instead of the bottom line.  Here is an example I get all the time on this site:

Comment on Bitch Lifestyle:   I’m dating this guy and I love him!  When I talked about it to him he says that he wants to “keep things as they are.”  What does that mean?  We have great sex and so much fun together.  Why doesn’t he want to be my boyfriend?

Bottom line:  This is friends with benefits.  Period.  A Sassy Bitch knows that at this very moment she has a choice.  She can either start dating other men like crazy and put him in the “he is for fun and nothing serious” category.  Or she can compromise herself and go the Drama Queen route.  Ignore what he said “the bottom line” and open up herself to heartache and pain.

So why do we “compromise” ourselves in the verb form?  A lot of times it is FEAR.  Fear of losing something we want:  a guy, a job, a faux girlfriend.  We may compromise ourselves because we want to matter and have someone to call a friend.  Someone who loves us and needs us.  We want to be needed and to matter!  But if it’s a faux girlfriend it’s a waste of our time:  The Faux Girlfriend  We choose every day to compromise or not to compromise.  We choose in a healthy way when we choose what is good for us.  When it aligns with what we want.  When we fight for something that is good for us in the long run.  We fight by side stepping fear and choosing actions that lead to what will fulfill us.   I loved the quote from my girl crush Marilyn from above.  Living in fear does lead to regrets.  For what we didn’t try, experience or fight for.  Fight for yourself by not compromising yourself!

It’s impossible to make the right decision unless we know what we want.

So make your list of what you want out of life.  Right now!  Research you.  What makes you feel good and not.  What fulfills you and your passions.  Don’t be afraid to let some things go that don’t really “do it ” for you anymore.  Make room for new discoveries that “do it for you.”  And never ever stop because someone is trying to bring you down.  Don’t let their fear of succeeding or jealousy stop you.  Love, Goddess

For More:

1.  My manual will guide you:  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

2.  What is Fear?

3.  Bitch Lifestyle Home

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