Party With Fear!

Motivational fear posters

Party with Fear!


A while back I wrote an article inspired by a radio show I was listening to.  The hostess, Mel Robbins, was talking about how we all have rituals in our lives: Beauty Rituals Empower You   She discussed how everyday rituals in our lives empowered us.  So I started thinking…hmmm…what can we do to have a little fun with all those messy emotions?  The ones that creep in daily and may throw us off?   How do we take action?

We can make up a ritual.

Here’s an example of one of my recent rituals.  One day I was feeling depressed.  It was lingering and I was letting it.  I was letting insecurities get to me.  Not acceptable.  A Worry Party wasn’t what I wanted.  I was craving a more deliberate process to let these toxic emotions go.  So I decided to do a ritual.  I wrote down all the things I hated about myself on pieces of paper.  I put the pieces of paper into a small bag and headed to the beach.  The beach is one of my favorite places in the whole wide world.  I feel at peace there.  I took out my pieces of paper and read each one.  After I read them I put them in a large ashtray.  After all the pieces of paper were in the ashtray, I set fire to them and let them slowly burn down to the ashes.  While they burned I relaxed and exhaled any negatives from my body.  Then I took the ashes to the edge of the ocean, took a deep breath and scattered the ashes.  It felt really good to have a formal release of the frustration and pain.  Then I went home and danced to “Born this Way” by Lady Gaga.  The Sassy was coming back!

So what ritual will you create to get rid of those negative emotions?  Whatever ritual you decide to create, include these steps to Bitch it Up:

  1. Acknowledge whatever negative feelings you are having.
  2. Honor them by creating a structure to let them go.
  3. After you complete the ritual do a victory lap.  Honor YOURSELF by taking care of you in some way.  Play your celebration song like “Rocky,” for example.

Anything we can do to push through negative emotions will toughen us up for the bigger and harder to deal with problems we will face in life.  Tragic break ups, toxic relationships, job losses, stress at work will always be there.  By taking the time to deal with these emotions over time in a practical way, it may help us in the long run.   Doesn’t that sound worthy of a ritual?

Love, Goddess

For More:

  1. Miss Perfect
  2. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Kick Up the Summer Fun!

summer fun,


I want Summer FUN!! Can you believe it’s almost mid-July?  Summer seems to be flying by.  Before you know it, it will be September and a whole lotta Fall to love.  NOT until we eek out every juicy drop of summer fun though!  So this is your almost Mid-Summer kick in the ***!  How is that play like a kid again list going?  Have you frolicked, skinny dipped, partied by moonlight, made out in the warm summer rain, picked ripe berries, been to a fair, planned a trip by a lake, pond, stream, ocean, eaten gooey s’mores or rocked out to an outdoor concert?


I’m not letting summer get away from you.  It’s too precious!  Here are some past articles to get the summer juicy flowing:

  1. Like a Kid Again
  2. Fun for the Thrifty Bitch
  3. Get Outrageous 

Dare to go for more fun than you thought imaginable this summer.  Dare to say an enthusiastic “more!” to fun when you just want to curl up and go to sleep.  Do this especially if you’re making excuses not to go out.  Try it.  You may like it.  😉  Oh…and if you’re knocking home run after home run on the fun train this summer?  SHARE here and on our Facebook page: Bitch Lifestyle  Sassy Bitches are always looking for a new adventure!

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Be His Cheerleader

*** You want to make the men in your life smile?  Be their cheerleader!  They will really appreciate it.  Do this warmly and full of sincerity.  Men are AMAZING.  I am so grateful for all the things they do for me.  I support a local softball team.  They call me their #1 fan.  A man on the team always makes sure I’m comfortable.  He has offered me his comfy portable seat, his umbrella in a rainstorm, water, even cocktails!  He LOVES the attention I give him and the team.  Appreciate them and they will appreciate you right back.  All you have to do is have fun sharing that warm smile, give hugs and a few thoughtful words.  Here are some fun ways to be the cheerleader for the men in your life:

  1. Give the men in your life huge hugs and smiles when you see them.
  2. Go to their softball/baseball games and cheer and clap for them.  Get to know their names and add that personal touch to the cheering.  I can’t tell you how many women go to their mans’ games and spend all their time talking to someone else.  There’s time for that but don’t forget to cheer for him.  You will make his day!
  3. If he has a bad day or is worried about something, give him a warm hug and tell him something like this:  “Honey, you’re amazing.  You will figure out the perfect thing to do.”  Make him feel like he’s the best always in your eyes.  Don’t doubt him.  It’ll give him strength and make him feel soooo good.
  4. Toast his successes, throw a party when he gets a promotion, let him bask in his accomplishments.
  5. Find what he does well and praise him for it.  “Dad…you are the best grill person ever!”  “Honey, you’re amazing at fixing technical things.”
  6. When he does things for you, thank him with warm smiles and (if appropriate) sexy kisses.
  7. When he does something really cool, like catch the winning ball in a game, tell other people about it when he’s around.  We’re talking male version of a dozen roses, hotties.  Maybe 2 dozen!

Have fun spreading the love!  And enjoy the benefits. (Written with a warm, loving smile)  Love, Goddess

*** Women toasting photo available for download at Royalty Free Stock Photos:


© S Stevens Life Strategies

In the Moment…

In the moment…

He’s caressing my arms and talking about being in the moment in that soft, sensual voice of his.

That was the moment my thinking brain awoke.  My intellectual mind grasped onto “being in the moment.”   Which was the opposite of what I wanted.  I stopped enjoying his words and felt his touch less because thinking interrupted the pleasure he was giving me.  I was able to get back in the moment by listening to what he was saying to me.  He wanted me to do nothing.   He only wanted me to enjoy his touch.

When do you find yourself “not in the moment?”  Switching to the thinking?  And why do we as women seem to do this when we are receiving pleasure?

Sheri Winston has written a fabulous book called “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal.” (Available in the Bitch Boutique above right) She examines and integrates ancient wisdom, lost and current sexual knowledge so women can have fabulous, abundant orgasms and sex.  She has a chapter on the Yin (female) and Yang (male) of sexual arousal.  From her book:

“Yin energy begins outside our physical self, past the perimeters of the body, in the space between people: it is held by relationship, by connection.  Yin is process-orientated, enjoying the journey and not particularly focused on the goal.  Yin energy proceeds from the edges, gradually moving inward and flowing downward toward the sex center.  For sexual arousal to happen, yin needs time to accumulate and coalesce.  Since yin energy flow must pass through all the other energy centers before it reaches the genitals, it’s subject to energy blockages, inhibitions and distractions.

In other words, we need to feel a connection and feel safe to open our hearts and pussies.  And even when we do, our innate Yin can lead us off the pleasure path.

That’s all super fabulous, Goddess. So how do we stop thinking and get into “being in the moment” in pleasure?  We can choose action.  We can take steps that can help us switch off our thinking side and switch on our relishing side.  Like Josephine Baker we have to research what turns us on, and discover what we like and don’t like.  Over time this will help us relax into lifes’ pleasures.  Here are your “In the Moment” assignments at Bitch U this week:

  1. Don’t just exercise.  Think about what type of movement would feel good to your body.  Sometimes my body craves the power of kick boxing.  Sometimes a long, leisurely walk so my mind can drift.  Or I’ll crave slow, sensual movement, like Sheila Kelley’s S Factor. Become aware of how your body feels during certain exercises.  This will help you nurture it and yourself.
  2. Don’t just eat.  Savor.  Eating is a sensual experience.  We are all in such a rush that we’re forgetting this.  Find a fabulous piece of double creme brie from France.  Go to a cheese shop for this, if possible!  Warm it up to room temperature.  Open a bottle of wine.  Arrange some yummy fruits and crackers to go with your wine and cheese.  Slowly enjoy your feast and see what combination from above is your absolute favorite.  Mine is red wine, brie and grapes.  Yum!  Or research your favorite fruit, chocolate, Italian dish.
  3. Listen.  To the ocean.  To the sounds of the night.  You’re lovers’ heartbeat.  Different eras of music. The birds, the crickets, the squirrels.
  4. Touch.  Let your lover caress you.  Surrender to his touch.  Touch the grass, walk in bare feet, caress your own skin.  Your skin has so many different textures.  Touch the flowers, the sand at the beach, a smooth stone.  Let your curiosity play!
  5. Engage all your senses at once.  The French have a passion for food because they engage all their senses!  Back to the cheese and wine:  Arrange the plate so it is attractive to you, enjoy the aromas of the wine and cheese before you savor the first bite. Play some soft, sensual music to keep your pace slow and luxurious.  Note the different textures between the cheese and fruit.  How does the wine feel when you swirl it in your mouth?
  6. Be grateful for everything you have.  When you start to think or worry, be grateful for what you have in that moment.  Say it in your mind and feel it in your body. Look up to the sky and yell thank you!
  7. Share your discoveries and your ‘In the Moment” experiences on our Facebook page:!/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841

Well…that should keep you busy! 😉  Love, Goddess

***In the Moment badge from the wonderful blog Pushing Fifty Gently:


© S Stevens Life Strategies