Miss Perfect

“Ain’t nothing to it, is there, Jack? Remember, they love money so pretend like you own a gold mine and you’re in the club.” ***

Molly Brown from James Cameron’s Titanic.  She knew the rules but worked them to her benefit.  Confidently.  Not compromising herself in the process.   Unlike…

Miss Perfect.  God I hate her.   If I was going to be 110% honest?  She lives inside me.  Just waiting to make an appearance.  An appearance that leads me reeling down the trail to my Drama Queen.  Courtesy of the guilt she leaves in her perfect little annoying way.  So who exactly is your “Miss Perfect?”  Does she live inside you too, maybe?

My Miss Perfect first appreared when I was a little girl.  She wanted so much to be liked.  She wanted to be the center of attention.  To make everyone feel good.  My Miss Perfect was born out of sheer love.  The problem is, not all people are going to love you.  You are not going to make people laugh or smile all the time.  Your Miss Perfect may annoy the “you know what” out of someone else.  So see?  Already not perfect.  So what happens when “Little Miss Perfect” meets the people that don’t like her?  She may try too hard.  Which is only more annoying to the person who doesn’t like her.  So maybe they start to be mean so she’ll go away.  This makes Miss Perfect feel bad.  Guilty.  My Miss Perfect loves to over think about why people don’t like her.  Does yours?

Then Miss Perfect meets people who are jealous of what Miss Perfect has.  It may be a nice house, a guy who likes her, she has a nice bicycle, a new puppy.  Doesn’t matter.  They are jealous and they get mean.  So now Miss Perfect is trying to understand why these people are being mean to her and REALLY starts to compromise hereslf.  To the point where she is being ridiculed, teased and ignored.  There will always be mean people in this world.  A part of us, like Miss Perfect, wants to believe that these people aren’t really mean.   Miss Perfect is too understanding regarding this.  Instead of looking out for herself she finds herself trying to understand, get to know better or even loan these people her bike to get them to like her!  The result?  Unfortunately Little Miss Perfect becomes Little Miss Insecure.  She compromises herself even more.  She loses her Sassy Molly Brown take on things and aquieses to others.   Instead of working around the problem and not letting people bother her, her Sassy Molly Brown disappears.

That insecurity may make you hold onto being “perfect” even more.  After all…here you are doing everything you can to be perfect and not hurt anyone or ruffle any feathers!  Then…Miss Perfect makes a mistake.  GAWD NO.   Guilt happens.   You feel guilty for making a mistake!  For being human!  If they don’t like me when I’m perfect, people will leave me when I’m not!  Yeah…SO…teetering on the very precipice of Drama Queen…

The Sassy Bitch will get insecure.  She will have bad days.  She will have guilt.  She will mess up.  She will have days when she knows she is in her Drama Queen and will not CARE about fixing it!  The “Miss Perfect” inside her will revel in telling her all the ways she screwed up.  At the end of the day?  The Sassy Bitch understands this:

Forgive yourself and let it go. You aren’t perfect.

Because the Sassy Bitch understands this quote…compromise makes her yawn.  Compromising herself isn’t even on her radar.  Easier said than done sometimes, I know.  We have to let it go though.  We have to love ourselves so when Miss Perfect rears her Dramatic Little Head we are aware and can deal with her.  By not beating ourselves up for it.  Forgive ourselves and move on.  Because you know what?  The ones that truly love us?  Have probably already forgotten about it!  And you know the really destructive thing about Miss Perfect?  You’ve got to let go of her and the thought of never making a mistake and never hurting someone.  Because you will.  You’ve got to let go of her so you can fully love yourself.  Insecurities and quirks and all.  That’s what makes you YOU.

Love, Goddess
*** Picture of Kathy Bates as “Molly Brown” from Titanic from the web site Titanic Wikia:   http://jamescameronstitanic.wikia.com/wiki/Margaret_Brown
Class is in session!  Visit Bitch Lifestyle home page:  www.bitchlifestyle.com
© S Stevens Life Strategies

Getting Rid of a Guy Who is a Jerk!

guy who is a jerk,dating advice,how to control anger,drama queen,insecurity with men,
Two wild and obnoxious guys. Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd from Saturday Night Live. From the awesome blog Fair and Unbalanced

I’ve been getting a lot of emails lately from women that are putting up with Prime A Jerks.  Guys that won’t leave them alone.  No one dangerous, mind you.  We’re talking ego maniacs who want to get them in the sack.  And that’s about it.  Want some fun ways to get these guys to run away and leave you alone?  Any one of these things would work:

Obnoxious Guy Example A:  He starts getting overtly sexual.  He makes every little thing said or done about sex.  It’s really obnoxious.  I had a guy do this to my recently.  I was firm and polite but he kept at it.  So the next time he mentioned something sexual with me I cooed:  “Oh….all this talk about sex with you makes me think about what our babies would look like!  Would they have your hair?  Your smile?  What do you think our baby would look like?”  He cleared the room so fast it was hysterical!  I could not stop from laughing.  Other tactics:

  • Whining:  Whhhhy don’t you do (insert obnoxious request here) for Meeeeeeee?
  • When he brings up sex, bring up marriage.
  • Start talking about how the moon is in retro grade, your venus is rising or something along those lines.  It doesn’t have to make sense.  Which is precisely the point.  Make no sense in a dramatic fashion.  KEEP talking about nonsense.  He will think there is a little something wrong with you.   Hopefully this make him lose his **** on and RUN.

Mean and Manipulative Guy Example B:  A guy who is nice to you and then not nice to you.  Recently I had a coaching client tell me that a guy she was interested in tell her, after being really nice to her all night that she was just a “4” in his book.  Rude.  If a guy is this rude?  Unacceptable.   IGNORE.  Don’t answer phone calls, texts, de-friend, whatever.  He is toying with you in a really mean way.  He must be jettisoned from your life.  Did I mention now?  As in right now!

Curveball Guy:  Nice Guy Who is Not Ready to Date Example C:   The guy who really wants to date you and is really sweet to you.  He is in no way treating you with disrespect.   You’ve told him “no” in a bottom line kind of way.  Maybe he isn’t ready to date but thinks he is.  Maybe he is trying too hard.  It is important to treat him like you would want to be treated if the situation was reversed.  Here is an example: Dealing With a Man Not Ready to Date

Bottom line:  If a guy is trying to please you and trying to treat you with respect give that back to him.  In the case of Curveball Guy (From the above artice Dealing with a Man Not Ready to Date) he said he apologized and wanted to make it up to me, which is nice of him.  However, he was not ready to date so I ended it.  With respect.  Guys that are being obnoxious do not deserve the time of day from you.  Period.  So stop engaging them.  When you stop engaging the obnoxious guys, it will give you the time to notice the nice guy in the corner a few feet away.  A guy who would never rate you on your looks or make everything about sex so he can have his way with you and move on to the next conquest.  The truly nice men need a little nudge from you.  So throw the nice man in the corner a big warm smile.  This provides the opening he needs to make him want to come to you.  Love, Goddess

Related Posts:

  1. I’m Not Letting You Go
  2. Choosing the Guy You Want
  3. The Bitch Rules  

© S Stevens Life Strategies