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Worry Just Kills “Delicious.”

Ahhhh…you lay back in your beautiful bed with the fluffy pillows.  Your skin feels so soft and smooth from the lotion you just applied.  You have sprayed your lovely self with some shimmer spray.  You feel calm, at peace…looking forward to sweet dreams.  Then, out of the blue “worry” pops into your cute little head.  You question something you did earlier in the day.  Then you question something else.  Next thing you know you’re wide-awake and your heart is gently pounding.  Deliciousness:  gone in an instant.

Today’s discussion is how do we get over this little “worry” hurdle.  I hate to call it little, because it’s not.  It can strike at any time and throw us for a very unfun loop.  It happened to me last night.  Just like I put in the first paragraph.  Then I got pissed.  First I start to worry about something I did earlier in the day and then I get angry with myself for doing it!  Definitely not the path to staying delicious.  So how do we get ourselves away from the “drama” of worry?

Own it and then switch it.  If it’s something you’re questioning, you probably took a chance.  Chances are always good.  You are going for something you want.  Own that.  If it falls into an unpleasant little pattern, then it’s time to stop.  Remember my “Never beat yourself up” discussion from yesterday?  Do whatever it takes to stop worrying and questioning yourself.  Here are some ways to stop the worry so you can get back to delicious:

  •  I’m a big fan of slowly breathing.  It’s something I constantly resist doing (because of my impatience?  LOL…see my earlier blog)
  • Close your eyes and list all the things you are grateful for
  • Have someone tickle you. ASAP!
  • Dance your butt off to a favorite tune
  • Give yourself a scalp massage
  • Give yourself a mini-vacation…imagine yourself in Paris, Greece, Hawaii
  • Look at yourself in the mirror, smile and say you’re so cute for “worrying.” Then change it up into something positive about you.
  • There is always good chocolate, organic tea, scrapbooks and lip-gloss!

I’m also going to recommend reading to you:  Dr. Christiane Northrup’s “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” and Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life.”  Here is a quote from the back of Ms. Hays book:  “The thoughts we think and the words we speak create our experiences.  If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.”   It took a while for my intellectual mind to get around that quote, I thought it was, well, nonsense.  Then I read the books and was truly amazed.  These women rock and I am so grateful for their words.  I give them to you. 

With Love and Laughter, Goddess

 

© S Stevens Life Strategies
 
 
 

 

 

Impatience…a virtue?


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Self-love tip of the Day:  When you are feeling something…really feel it!  You have no idea the incredible resource your emotions are.  Internationally known for her empowering approach to women’s health and wellness Dr. Christiane Northrup says:  “You have to feel it to heal it.”

 

I wanted to exercise last week and my music machine wasn’t working for me.  I got more and more impatient.  I wound up yelling at the machine and breaking my Madonna’s Greatest Hits CD.  Now that was productive, wasn’t it?  LOL.  Actually…it was.  I learned a lot when I stopped and listened to what my body and my impatience were telling me.  I realized how destructive and pointless my impatience was.  But you know what?  I may not have seen that so clearly if I hadn’t allowed myself to get so upset.

 

Women have been taught by society to be “unemotional” to get ahead.  Good practical advice.  You don’t want to be breaking things at board meetings!  But there’s truth and learning in all our emotions: even the unpleasant ones.  Our bodies are screaming for us to deal with it.  Can you imagine what a lifetime of tamping down negative emotions can do to a person?  If we don’t listen to those emotions, we can’t learn what’s bothering us and then we can’t solve the problem.  The problem keeps getting buried deeper and deeper in our bodies.  Then, since we don’t learn anything, the problem grows.  Slowly, over time, you start dealing with negative emotions in a not so productive way.

 

What did I learn from breaking that CD?  When I stopped to listen to my impatience, I realized how patient I was with everyone I cared about.  I’m loving, understanding and always encourage them so they can succeed.  The perfect cheerleader.  Why couldn’t I be my own cheerleader?  The impatience told me I needed to be more patient with myself.

 

Now when things aren’t going right I slow down and breathe.  I give myself a hug by doing something that makes me feel good.  It may be a nice hot shower, putting on some lip-gloss, dancing to a fun song.  Then I’m off to the races again.  Happy, focused and motivated in my tasks for the day.

 

This took practice, ladies.  Just like savoring and celebrating yourself.  Embracing the negative in you and seeing the message within takes practice.  Investment in yourself— investment in your inner Goddess.  So practice giving yourself a break.  The next time you are pissed off, sad, impatient, exhausted beyond words, do something pleasurable for yourself.  Relax and realize your body is telling you something.

 

I’m going to frame that Madonna CD.  Why?  To celebrate my impatience. My impatience has taught me so much.  Thank you impatience!  Love, Goddess

Got impatience?  Check out these interesting books!

The Power of Patience

Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Fear is a Future Emotion


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Buffy image from www.anerdoccurrence.com

Buffy the Vampire Slayer-a strong, powerful woman who didn’t live in soltitude like most slayers.  She surrounded herself with loved ones and hot men! She refused to compromise on things that brought her pleasure.   Empowered Women understand that fear is a future emotion.

“Fear is a future emotion.” A brilliant man said that to me during an intellectual discussion we were having about pleasure.  So many people live in fear of things that may never happen.  Fear of failure.  (What if it doesn’t work out?) Fear with a potential love interest. (I don’t want to hurt them) Fear of the new.  (I would never try that) The strange. (This dish is served with raw egg…no way I’m trying that.)  The different. (You want to do what?) I personally get that one all the time, LOL.  Fear, to me is a habit.  A habit that can keep me from succeeding.  And worse, fear can keep me from pleasure.  There are so many buzz words or phrases today that make you feel guilty if you go for pleasure.  These phrases keep you aligned and focused on your goals.  Cool.  I get that and sometimes it’s very useful.  But these buzz words and phrases can also be negative:  “Good things come to those that wait” (This phrase actually makes me impatient when I hear it) I want to be successful so I’m “Burning the candle at both ends” (And because of it, I have no time for me, my family, friends and I’m exhausted to the point where I’m irritable and no fun)  “The early bird catches the worm.”  (What if I function better as a night owl?)  Or my personal favorite:  “No pain, no gain.”  (Just what I want to hear when I’m on the stair master)  I’ve found that by focusing on the pleasure of my ultimate goal and not the above phrases I get more done.  When I’m feeling not so motivated I have a series of things I do to give me pleasure that refocus and refresh me.  I’ll have a tea break and give myself a high five for what I’ve done so far.  I’ll dance to my favorite song.  I’ll nibble on a piece of chocolate.  I’ll put on my boa or tiara while I work.  Or…I’ll be deeply thankful for all I have in my life.

Lately every time I discuss “pleasure” with someone, that someone immediately thinks sex.  Did you, dear reader think the same?  I would love to know.  Pleasure encompasses so much more.  And “pleasure” is looked down upon somewhat in our society.  It’s frivolous.  A reward.  It’s expensive or a distraction.  Pleasure is what we should live for.  Have you ever noticed children at play?  A little 4 year old girl going from one pleasurable activity to another?  A puzzle?  Stickers?  A book?  Their pleasure is fascinating and infectious.  I always want to contribute to their fun because it makes me feel good, too.  I can go over to my nieces’ house and tickle them and we all feel good.  Laughter is one of the best forms of pleasure.  How good do we all feel when we make someone laugh?  So here’s my question:  How do we take that—joyous pleasure—and incorporate it into society today?

Okay…all together now.  “Goddess…you want to do what?”  I want to infuse everyone with joy, laughter, pleasure and play.  I want to make pleasure what we all live for.

We shouldn’t fear pleasure.  Pleasure is a choice.  Just like fear, doubt, jealousy or hate.  Which do you prefer?  The crap?  The drama?  The situations you can’t control?  Pleasure can be scary because it feels so good and can be taken away.  If you worry and fear it, that will be your focus.  And, yeah…all that pleasure will go away.  I choose pleasure.  Love, Goddess

Now on Amazon!  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

Suggested Reading:

  1. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies