It’s time to celebrate our gorgeous sexual organs! I have a gorgeous and sassy friend who like myself is spreading the word about the beauty of women: The celebration of our beauty, our minds and sexuality. I’m honoring her today because she wrote a letter to the Boston Globe. This is in response to a “Dear Margo” letter. Here it is:
I’m writing in response to “Sex Starved” in today’s Boston Globe. I would like to comment on the first 3 words of your response; “For some reason,” some middle-aged women decide to close up shop, deciding that part of life is over…an old-fashioned idea, to be sure.” “For some reason” could and should be elaborated on. It does not need to be vague, and bringing clarity would be a great service to your readers. Here are “some reasons” women who now at middle age, no longer have an interest in sex. If you are a middle-aged woman now (age 50+) you were:
1. Brought up to feel shame towards your own body. That feeling does not magically go away when you become an adult.
2. Not told the proper names of your sexual organs. Without names there is “nothing.” Language is the way humans connect and share mutual experiences. Anecdotally, women are either given no naming skills or given made up words to refer to their genitalia. The absence of appropriate language prevents women from communicating about their bodies.
3. Without proper and respectful language, there is nothing “down there” for a woman to be proud of. And if despite everything, she is proud of her sexual body – whoa! That’s too much. It’s counter-culture. She’s suspect.
4. Not given the tools to understand how your sexual organs function, and that their main function is to provide you with pleasure.
5. Made to understand through cultural conditioning that any connection you may have to your own body is wrong. It’s wrong to touch your own body, speak of it, or acknowledge it in any way.
6. Disconnected from the power and beauty of your own sexuality.
If you are deprived of a common and respectful language for your sexual organs, disconnected from your own body’s pleasure center, and made to feel guilty and/or ashamed if you do feel pleasure – it’s not surprising that by mid-life you find no pleasure from sex, and finally, put it aside. Have you heard of The Body exhibit that is touring the United States? It’s a comprehensive exhibit of human anatomy. When I went to see it, there was a display case showing all the different parts of the human sexual organs. Apparently women don’t have sexual organs because there were none displayed. I did not see a note that said “The female sexual organs were too controversial to be shown” or “The female sexual organs are on loan to another exhibit.” There was nothing. And that emphasizes my point. (End of letter)
Wow, huh? Is it any wonder that a lot of women have trouble communicating with men how to please them? So how do we change this? By turning it around. Pointing this out to people who don’t know in an understanding manner, like my friend. Most important, we must start celebrating the beauty of our sexual organs. Revel in every feminine fold. Revel in the fact that we have an organ called the clitoris. The clitoris was created for our pleasure. So let’s rock it, ladies!
1. When you check out your naked body in a mirror, don’t gloss over your feminine core. Blushing allowed. 😉
2. Do you know all the proper names of your sexual organs?
3. Research your sexuality and share your discoveries with your girlfriends, boyfriend or husband.
This is going to be hard for some of us. Yes…just try it. Adore her a little and see what happens. A little bit…every day.