Fear is a Future Emotion

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer-a strong, powerful woman who didn’t live in soltitude like most slayers.  She surrounded herself with loved ones and hot men! She refused to compromise on things that brought her pleasure.   Empowered Women understand that fear is a future emotion.

“Fear is a future emotion.” A brilliant man said that to me during an intellectual discussion we were having about pleasure.  So many people live in fear of things that may never happen.  Fear of failure.  (What if it doesn’t work out?) Fear with a potential love interest. (I don’t want to hurt them) Fear of the new.  (I would never try that) The strange. (This dish is served with raw egg…no way I’m trying that.)  The different. (You want to do what?) I personally get that one all the time, LOL.  Fear, to me is a habit.  A habit that can keep me from succeeding.  And worse, fear can keep me from pleasure.  There are so many buzz words or phrases today that make you feel guilty if you go for pleasure.  These phrases keep you aligned and focused on your goals.  Cool.  I get that and sometimes it’s very useful.  But these buzz words and phrases can also be negative:  “Good things come to those that wait” (This phrase actually makes me impatient when I hear it) I want to be successful so I’m “Burning the candle at both ends” (And because of it, I have no time for me, my family, friends and I’m exhausted to the point where I’m irritable and no fun)  “The early bird catches the worm.”  (What if I function better as a night owl?)  Or my personal favorite:  “No pain, no gain.”  (Just what I want to hear when I’m on the stair master)  I’ve found that by focusing on the pleasure of my ultimate goal and not the above phrases I get more done.  When I’m feeling not so motivated I have a series of things I do to give me pleasure that refocus and refresh me.  I’ll have a tea break and give myself a high five for what I’ve done so far.  I’ll dance to my favorite song.  I’ll nibble on a piece of chocolate.  I’ll put on my boa or tiara while I work.  Or…I’ll be deeply thankful for all I have in my life.

Lately every time I discuss “pleasure” with someone, that someone immediately thinks sex.  Did you, dear reader think the same?  I would love to know.  Pleasure encompasses so much more.  And “pleasure” is looked down upon somewhat in our society.  It’s frivolous.  A reward.  It’s expensive or a distraction.  Pleasure is what we should live for.  Have you ever noticed children at play?  A little 4 year old girl going from one pleasurable activity to another?  A puzzle?  Stickers?  A book?  Their pleasure is fascinating and infectious.  I always want to contribute to their fun because it makes me feel good, too.  I can go over to my nieces’ house and tickle them and we all feel good.  Laughter is one of the best forms of pleasure.  How good do we all feel when we make someone laugh?  So here’s my question:  How do we take that—joyous pleasure—and incorporate it into society today?

Okay…all together now.  “Goddess…you want to do what?”  I want to infuse everyone with joy, laughter, pleasure and play.  I want to make pleasure what we all live for.

We shouldn’t fear pleasure.  Pleasure is a choice.  Just like fear, doubt, jealousy or hate.  Which do you prefer?  The crap?  The drama?  The situations you can’t control?  Pleasure can be scary because it feels so good and can be taken away.  If you worry and fear it, that will be your focus.  And, yeah…all that pleasure will go away.  I choose pleasure.  Love, Goddess

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11 thoughts on “Fear is a Future Emotion

  1. Sharon,

    Truer words were never spoken…fear is the biggest but you will ever face, and I don’t mean your backside :).


  2. Such perfect words from you, Mike. On a personal note, my backside is definitely fierce! Love, Goddess

  3. Love this article! I believe my pleasure is where my power lies! Pleasure feels good,be it sexual or just the pleasure of doing something nice for someone and seeing them smile, or petting my kitties soft fur, it does not matter where it comes from. Pleasure is the energy of what I want more of in my life. Since I am committed to feeling good, I am committed to pleasure. I say bask in all those good feeling, amplify them and send them out to the Universe saying”More Please!” You will be amazed at what shows up.

    Rock On!

  4. You are amazing. A woman who gets her power. Yay you and the pleasure you are spreading everyday. Love, Goddess

  5. i agree, pleasure is a choice. i can sit and choose to dwell over the unchangeable, or i can be happy in the beauty of life around me. for once, ive embedded this thought in my head , and im currently pleasantly satisfied in my life, even without a man. i don’t even internally ( and externally) complain anymore about being single. fear of the unknown can be scary, but it can also be the thrill to life , if we let it. fear shouldn’t control us, we control fear. it’s nice to do something for the sake of fear; for the sake of living life without knowing the result beforehand. we deserve to please and care about ourselves just like we would another person. we should hypothetically treat ourselves as if we’re not one and the same, but a separate entity who we care for and want to please. this is where the love will come from, and hopefully the drive for pleasure.

  6. This is so beautifully written! Yay you! Just like seeing the “crap” around us is a habit, so is seeing the “beauty.”
    Your email made me so happy and put a huge smile on my face! Sending you a huge victory hug! Love, Goddess

  7. I really enjoyed this post. Pleasure, the word, has been turned into a word that we should only use in a sexual manner. So they say. I have to take steps to keep me motivated. The environment is a big factor for me. I take pleasure in cooking and baking. I take pleasure in having a cozy environment for me to study/read. I take pleasure in seeing the faces of my friends light up when we get together and share some good times. I take pleasure reading Bitch Lifestyle and learning about ways to boost my confidence and not to fear my pleasure. 🙂

  8. Hey Jacklyn, you got it! And from what I’ve read…you are an amazing cook. Eating is such a hugely sensual experience. I can only imagine the pleasure you’ve given people by
    sharing your love of cooking and baking. Love, Goddess

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