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It’s a gorgeous Sunday morning. I’m at my favorite blueberry farm picking organic and luscious ripe blueberries. In the next blueberry lane I hear 2 women talking about men. It becomes crystal clear what my next blog was going to be about: Don’t let a man disrespect you by being his “Late Night Booty Call Girl.” Here is the conversation I overheard:
Woman B: Really?
Woman A: He said he wanted to hang out. I thought it was a little strange because it was so late, but I wasn’t really doing anything so I said okay. He said he would be right over.
Woman B: What time was it?
Woman A: 10:30 and he was a little drunk because he’d been celebrating a success at work.
Woman B: Oh…
Woman A: So he comes over and hits on me. I told him no, he left and he hasn’t called to apologize for his behavior!
Woman B: Wow.
Woman A: I’m really glad I was strong enough to say no.
So was I! Then there was more discussion about his success at work, why he didn’t call to apologize, etc. All about him, nothing about her and how she had been disrespected. The Bitch wouldn’t have cared about his success at work or the fact that he didn’t call to apologize. The Bitch knows that the moment he calls at 10:30 at night drunk to hang out she was one thing: “Late Night Booty Call Girl” And THAT would be the thing she would be focused on. The disrespect of that call. Here’s how I handle a late night call (and a drunken one at that!) from a man:
Mary Ann (my hot girlfriend): Really…
Bitch Goddess: (sarcastic) He called me drunk at 10:30 and said he wanted to hang out with me.
Mary Ann: (Rolls her eyes and shakes her head)
I would have answered this phone call in one of two ways. First way, since it was late, I would have let my voice mail answer. One of my personal “dating rules” is not to be too available to men I’m just starting to date. I let it go to voice mail after 10 PM because I have to work early and that’s me time. This really cuts down on the “Late Night Booty Call Girl” calls.
Second way: If I’m dating the man more seriously and he calls me up drunk and late, he’s not respecting me. So I’m not rude, I just let him know in a polite and firm way that this behavior is not going to fly with me. Any one of these responses would work:
2. Congratulations on the cool work news! Good night, Mike.
3. I’m going to be busy sleeping in a few minutes, Mike. Enjoy your celebration!
It’s really important to keep your response unemotional and clear. A man knows how to push a woman’s emotional buttons. (see my earlier blog on this subject What You Can Learn From Mens Magazines ) Why do men push our emotional buttons like this? When a woman responds emotionally to disrespect from a man, it confirms to him that she cares. It gives them a temporary ego boost. Over time a man will lose respect for a woman if she is too available to him, or gets too emotional when he crosses the line. What keeps their ego boosted is the woman who doesn’t put up with his nonsense and puts him in his place. Let a Man Chase You Here’s How Over time, it makes him feel better to have the strong woman in his life. The strong woman is the one he wants to marry and raise a family with. Strong men get this and this is the man you want to raise a family with. That’s why I want you to really watch a mans’ actions. The strong man will still be male and try to push your buttons from time to time. (Refer back to boundaries part of mens magazines blog) The man who cares for you will feel bad when he disrespects you. He may not say he was wrong but he will show with his actions that he was wrong.
Remember: We all want that beautiful love story. Both sexes are putting their emotions on the line. He will put everything on the line for a strong woman. She will give her heart to a man who shows he cares by his actions. Both of us win by understanding each others’ nature. This is a huge subject that we will delve into more ladies, promise. Just remember what a hot, wonderful gorgeous woman you are and clarify what you want in a relationship with a man. If you have any questions, let me know. Love, Goddess
Want more? Order Bitch Lifestyle the Manual now on Amazon!
Things to do instead of worrying about what HE is doing:
American Classics Become a master chef!
Paris: Portrait of a City Study and make plans to go to Paris.
You Can Heal Your Life Great book about studying the signals your body sends you every day.
very informative thank you
Really nice post, Thanks again for a nice site.
Thanks so much, Ellena! Love, Goddess
Thank you Fredericka, you rock! Love, Goddess
If I told him that I want commitment, would that make him run away?
We have been in a relationship for a year… We both like each other… He shows he cares, but sometimes disrespects… My next question is how to set boundries if he disrespects? I mean to be forward about it? Or?
Hi Sophia,
All guys will test a girls’ boundaries. What you need is the confidence to call him on it! Consider Private Coaching with me so you don’t question yourself in a relationships. Email me for more
information: Goddesspower978@hotmail.com
Hi goddess I’m struggling with my relationship with my man we were friends before we hooked up and we been together for about a month now and I told him he treats my like I’m just another one of his girls not his only girl that he says he loves what he does for a living has him out a lot and not able to spend a lot of time with me and I am understanding of that but I feel like he don’t really love me like he says he does what should I do I love this man with all my heart and would do anything for him and he knows that but still treats me like I’m not his number one but every time I bring it up and be direct with him about it he tells me he loves me and wants me and only me then makes me feel on top of the world but its always so short lived please help me
Thanks, lost & confused but so in love
Hi Ashley,
I’m sorry you are going through so much with this guy! Maybe if you focus on what you adore more that will help you through this. I have a book full of ways to do this: Bitch Lifestyle the Manual http://www.amazon.com/Bitch-Lifestyle-The-Manual-ebook/dp/B009Z5A9AC?tag=bitchlifes-20 Got it? Love, Goddess