I Hate Myself

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Gorgeous quote found at We Heart Vintage: http://weheartvintage.co/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/coco.jpg

I hate myself,” said one of my long term clients on our very first call.  She was getting a divorce, had lost her passion for life and spent the day Google-ing phrases like: “I want to die,” “I want to be happy again,” “what are the symptoms of depression,” “am I depressed,”  “how to control anger.”  By the end of the call I managed a true giggle from her.  I could hear her smile. It made us both feel so good.  She was able to see how her Drama Queen was in charge of her life.   She has worked very hard at controlling her Drama Queen and feels so much better. Now…both of us love the story of her first call!

Let’s be scary honest.  Most, if not all of us, have uttered, deep in our minds these phrases:  “I want to die,” I want to be happy again,” “what are the symptoms of depression,” “am I depressed?” “how to control anger!”  Yeah…the Bitch gets pissed off and depressed, but she lets it out in a structured way and takes care of it.  She rocks her anger tools:  Anger is Scary if You Let it Be 

Life can be VERY difficult.  Terrible things happen to us every day.  How do we cope?  How do we flip it into the positive?  I’ll never forget how a client of mine turned tragedy positive by using gratitude.  Her story:  In three short months she had found the love of her life.  She had wanted to date him for so long.  Finally they were and planning for their future!  Then a few months later he wasn’t feeling well.  He went to the hospital.  He was diagnosed with cancer and never left.  He was gone in days.  I wish I could share with you how she turned this story into a thing of strong, grateful beauty.  Every time I think of her I cry and am grateful for her sharing this with me:  Turning the high and low of her life into a beautiful honoring of their love.  She mourned gorgeously.  She pampered herself and allowed people to be strong for her.  This is true Sassy Strength.  For more:  Sass Zappers Part 3

I, personally hate negativity and am doing me best to release it from my life.   This “positive job” is not easy.  I used to be on Twitter a lot.  Now not so much.  There is so much negativity in the timeline.  Even my positive filled one!  Today I almost got run over by a very angry woman in the grocery store.  Driving home I was almost killed by a distracted driver while listening to radio DJs complaining about XYZ celebrity.  We are surrounded by unhappy people and the pool seems to be growing.  I’ve weeded out the bad and opened my heart to the new.  This was not done without pain.  It is hard to let people go.  Deep down, despite the unhappy around us, we want to believe in a person.  Sometimes, for our own sanity we must let go of things and people that make us miserable.

Instead…we must think about what does make us happy.  Find the tiny fragments in the midst of tragedy and pain.  We must mourn, yes.  But we also must live and enmesh ourselves in our passions. Those are things that will always be with us for us to take refuge in.  So please…even on a bad day, try to sit back and be grateful for one thing and or thing you would love to do.  And when you have an inkling to Google “I hate myself,” which our Drama Queens adore, try something ANYTHING that would turn you on.  Google the word “fun.” Love and a big warm hug, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. Adversity
  2. Drama Queens Love… 
  3. My book on Amazon: Bitch Lifestyle the Manual
  4. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

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