I’m Not Letting You Go

Quote from The Notebook found at the blog Will-Jen http://will-jen.blogspot.com/2011/05/reason-behind-name-notebook.html

To love, or to close our hearts to love.  It’s a choice we make.  Every moment of every day. 

How do you know that you are truly ready to let go and allow intimate, soul-shaking, earth moving romantic love into your life?

I’m getting closer and closer.  To another phase of “letting go.”  And it is all over me.  In music.  In the people I meet.  The people who are in my life.  Family and friends.  The relaxing into trusting a man enough to open my heart and receive his love.  He may be someone I already know.  He may be in my circle of acquaintances that I just don’t “see” yet.  We may be about to meet.  All I know is that I am ready this time.  Why this time?  How do you know?

1. I’m over old loves.
2. I’ve chosen myself instead of people who’ve hurt me in the past.
3. I see how I have not been ready in the past.  How I closed off when someone else was opening up.
4. Because I’ve let go of the pain of past love, I’m noticing what I truly want.  And letting that be my guide.

Sometimes, because you haven’t gotten over a past love, you don’t hear or are not ready to hear what someone is saying to you.

“I’ll never let you go.”  He said to me.

He looked deep into my eyes and soul and said exactly what I needed to hear.  I know that he saw my terror looking him back into his eyes.  Even though at that point they were just words, I knew with absolute clarity he meant every word.  He backed them up, too.  The only problem was I let him go.  I wasn’t ready.   I wasn’t strong enough to receive his love.  I had to find that strength by falling back in love with me first.  Healing and letting go of old pain.  Do you allow yourself to do that or do you rush into a new relationship to forget the hurt?

So what are good signs that I’ve healed?  How do we notice it is time to move on and embrace a new love?

1. Instead of being angry and noticing the pain, the hurt and the “uselessness”  around us, we notice the really good.
2. We couple that with giving ourselves a break about missed opportunities and learn from them:  I wasn’t ready.
3. The pieces of “really good,” make us see how breaking down one of our walls may be safe.  Because this person is giving us what we want and is working to earn our trust.

These are some examples from my life that are making me warm up to opening my heart:

1. I meet a man on vacation and we have an amazing conversation about being “cherished.”  I tell him I like to feel protected by a man and he produces.   I don’t notice fear.  I notice how good it feels.  I relax and enjoy it more.  See Choosing the Guy You Want:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/05/choosing-the-guy-you-want/
2. I notice which men in my life cherish me.  And those who don’t.  I’m able to warmly open up even more and appreciate those that are doing wonderful things for me.
3. An amazing man from the past who I didn’t fully appreciated has reappeared.  It’s unfolding…I realize now that everything I was feeling he was feeling.  We are saying all the things that we wanted to say back then but were unable.  There are several crazy coincidences involving this that would take too long to go into.  The point is I’m not reading anything into this. I’m just enjoying it.
4. The new Justin Bieber song “Boyfriend” is so unbelievably sexy to me.  The part where he says “I’ll never let you go”  resonates with me.  The preciousness of that statement.  The fact that when a man says that to me now and I believe him?  I would embrace it and not run like the last time.  Am I sad I let the other man go?  No.  I am so grateful for him because he read what was deep in my soul and told me what I needed and deserved.   Every day I wish him every happiness in the world.   He deserves that.  Not a woman-me-that wasn’t ready for his love.

So I’m ready to let go and let love in.  Even though I’m ready I’m not just giving my heart up to any guy.  I’m going to enjoy the attention, play my *** off and keep my eyes wide open.  I want that for you too…to find and adore the man who will “never let you go.”   Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies